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The Will to Go On

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by SlowPokemon, Jan 30, 2011.

  1. SlowPokemon

    SlowPokemon The Dizzy Pianist

    A story already published by me on the NSM forums; it's not that great but I would like to hear some Pokefans' opinions. xD

    It's not so much a fanfic as just telling my own kind of view on what the young lives were like of Will, Karen, and Aaron, of the Johto and SInnoh elite fours respectively.

    I tried to keep perfect grammar, at the very least. Please read and comment. :) (But allow me a few posts so I can get the whole story in one place)


     
  2. SlowPokemon

    SlowPokemon The Dizzy Pianist

    Chapter Six
    Will Anyone Take the Gym Challenge?

    “Ahh…” murmured Karen, breathing in. Violet City was full of nostalgic and wonderful smells and neither Will nor Karen could stop themselves from stopping a moment and taking several long breaths. They shook themselves after a minute and walked on to the somberly-painted Pokémon Center. They hurried inside and Karen set Aaron down carefully on a couch. Will walked up to the elderly nurse.

    “Hello, I’m sorry to bother you, but…” he said, and then glanced over his shoulder at Karen, who was brushing Aaron’s neon green hair out of his eyes. “…we have a situation.”

    “A…situation?” the nurse asked. “Er… what kind of situation, exactly?”

    “Umm, we kind of walked into Dark Cave by accident,” Will said, and the nurse clicked her tongue irritably.

    “Say no more,” she muttered, and rushed over to Aaron’s side. “Have more accidents in Dark Cave then any other place in Johto, you lot do… Nobody reads signs anymore, that’s what it is… Half of you can’t even read… Ridiculous, that’s what it is…” she mumbled under her breath.

    “Er – sorry?” Will said.

    The old woman looked up, appearing surprised to see him there.

    “Nothing, dearie. Nothing. Of course,” she began mumbling again, “you all do eavesdrop on old people… Nosy things, teenagers are… You should be wiped out… all of you… All of you wiped out as early as possible…” Her voice trailed off and Will heard her mutter something that sounded distinctly like “nasty little buggers”.

    Will gave a questioning look to Karen, who rolled her eyes and shrugged.

    Aaron stirred slightly and murmured something under his breath. The nurse suddenly stood up.

    “What is it?” said Will, startled.

    “Nothing,” she snapped. “He has a broken ankle, that’s all. He’s going to have to stay here for a couple months.”

    “What?” Karen gasped. “No!”

    The nurse chortled loudly.

    “FWAHAHAHA!” she said, wiping a tear of laughter from her eye. “Gets ‘em every time!”

    Will smirked at Karen, who was blushing.

    “You there!” said the nurse suddenly, pointing at Karen. “Come here. Help me carry some tools out here.”

    Karen grimaced at Will but followed the nurse to a back room.

    Aaron mumbled something that Will couldn’t understand again; he was lying face-down. Curious, Will turned him over and Aaron murmured something again.

    “Kar…en…”

    Will froze. Aaron sighed deeply in his sleep and again muttered “Karen…”

    “Come on, Blissey, we haven’t got all day!” snapped the nurse. Evidently she was returning. She was carrying nothing. Next to her waddled a fat, pink Pokémon with an egg growing out of a little pouch on its stomach. Karen was carrying three large and apparently heavy boxes.

    Karen groaned and dumped the boxes onto the table. Rubbing her back, she collapsed onto the couch… except she collapsed on the, er…wrong couch.

    “Hello,” came Aaron’s muffled voice from underneath Karen. “Just a thought, but do you think you could get off of me? Because I hurt enough without you adding to things.”

    Karen gulped and stood up quickly. Aaron sat up, rubbing his eyes and wincing with pain.

    “Okay, Kare,” said Aaron. “I know I’m amazing, but sitting on my head isn’t the right way to go about telling me.”

    “It was an accident!” snapped Karen.

    “Okay. If you insist,” Aaron said knowingly, winking at Will.

    “Blissey, get over here,” ordered the nurse irritably. The Pokémon – evidently Blissey – bounded forward happily. “Blissey, use Softboiled so I don’t have to look at these…” She looked at the three teens, searching for the right word. “…things any longer.”

    “Umm, hello?” said Aaron indignantly. “We’re not things. We’re teenagers.”

    “It’s all the same thing if you really think about it,” said the old woman nastily.

    Blissey saved Aaron a retort by removing the egg from her pouch (a new one immediately replaced it) and carefully breaking it over Aaron’s ankle. They heard a CRUNCH as his bone mended itself. He stood up without wincing and was able to walk around.

    “I think my ankle’s better than it was before,” he said, frowning.

    “Of course,” said Karen. “But can you hurry up? We really need to get to the Gym. You’re holding us back, like usual.” Will knew she was being nasty with him to hide the fact that she was secretly relieved. She turned to the nurse. “Hold on… what did you have me carry the tools for?”

    The nurse broke into hysterical laughter.

    “To make you miserable,” she choked with glee. She walked away, cackling maniacally.

    “That lady has serious issues,” said Aaron, frowning. “How does it feel to know there’s another of your kind, Kare?”

    Karen gave a weak smile.

    “This really isn’t the time for jokes, Aaron. We have something serious to tell you,” she said.

    “Who said I was joking?” muttered Aaron, but he went quiet.

    They explained their Gym situation.

    Aaron frowned at nothing for a while after that, and finally spoke.

    “I think I should do it,” he proposed.

    “Why?” asked Karen.

    “Well,” he said slowly, “Bug-types are the least liked Pokémon there are. If I beat eight Gyms with only Bug-types… maybe they would finally get some credit.”

    Karen looked at Will.

    “Sounds okay to me,” said Will, shrugging.

    “Okay, then,” Aaron said as they walked out of the Pokémon Center. “So where’s the Gym?”

    “Right there,” said Karen, pointing. They started to walk in, but she pulled them out. “Not so fast. Remember what happened last time we didn’t read a sign?”

    “Umm…vaguely,” said Aaron.

    “Look at this sign,” said Karen musingly. “No Gym Badges will be handed out unless the competitor has received a token from Sprout Tower.” She looked up, perplexed. “Where’s Sprout Tower?”

    “I’m guessing it’s that really tall tower with a sign in front reading ‘SPROUT TOWER’,” said Will.

    “No, that’s crazy talk,” said Aaron distractedly.

    Karen shook her head in disbelief. She grabbed Aaron’s wrists and hauled him to the Sprout Tower, Will behind them as always.

     
  3. SlowPokemon

    SlowPokemon The Dizzy Pianist

    Chapter Twelve
    Lucian Helps With Aaron Dirty Laundry

    Will, Karen and Aaron were out of Goldenrod City. Route 35 was a short but peaceful road with a few roadside fire breathers entertaining passerby. Will cleared his throat.

    “So, have you two made up now?” Will said cautiously.

    “Made up?” asked Aaron. “Yeah, we—OOF,” he finished as Karen elbowed him in the ribs. “—made up,” he finished lamely.

    “Good,” said Will happily. He knew nothing about what had happened while he had been packing his bags. He walked ahead, and Karen grabbed Aaron and stood him next to her behind Will.

    “What?” said Aaron loudly.

    “Shut up!” hissed Karen. “I don’t think we should tell Will about…what happened.”

    “Why not?” said Aaron blankly.

    “Well…” she said hesitantly. “I don’t want to let him know just yet—”

    “Guys?” called Will, who was at the gatehouse leading into the National Park. “Are you coming?”

    “Yep!” called Aaron, and, without waiting for Karen to finish, ran to Will.

    Karen sighed and followed suit.

    “The National Park…” said Aaron in a bored tone. “Hold on… look at this sign! Bug…Catching…Contest…held every day except Friday, Sunday, Monday, and…” he frowned. “Wed…nes…day… Wed Nes Day?” he said, bewildered.

    “That’s how you spell Wednesday,” snorted Karen.

    “Never mind arithmetic right now, Kare,” said Aaron impatiently. “What day is it?”

    “Tuesday,” said Will.

    “I’m gonna catch a Bug Pokémon!” said Aaron importantly. “Ticket for one, please,” he asked of the officer standing near the door.

    “I hate my life,” sighed the officer as he handed Aaron a ticket.

    Karen looked at the officer strangely, but made no comment. Aaron walked into the National Park (Karen and Will were asked to wait in the gatehouse).

    They heard a voice say, “On your marks…get set…GO!”

    Then they heard a lot of scrambling around. They sat there awkwardly for a few minutes. Will got up and left for the restroom. Then Karen heard a very familiar voice shouting, “NO WAY! THAT WEEDLE IS MINE, BUB!”

    Karen sighed.

    “Your boyfriend doesn’t have a very good temper, does he?” sneered a voice behind Karen.

    She turned around to see Lucian folding his arms and looking so smug it ought to have been illegal. Cynthia and Norman weren’t with him.

    “What do you want?” she snapped.

    “I want to point out to you what an idiot your boyfriend is,” said Lucian, the smirk even more pronounced in his voice than on his face.

    “He’s not my boyfriend,” said Karen angrily.

    “I was there when he tackled you to the ground,” said Lucian knowingly. “You two are an item.”

    “We are not!” said Karen, more loudly than she had intended.

    “You are,” said Lucian, smiling superiorly.

    Karen stood up abruptly and glared threateningly at the purple-haired jerk in front of her. She was taller than him by a few inches.

    “What does it matter to you?” she seethed.

    “It doesn’t,” said Lucian, shrugging. “But I think it might matter to…Will.”

    Karen could have killed him. If only there were a weapon handy…and there weren’t so many people present…

    “You’re not going to tell Will,” said Karen dangerously.

    “Why?” said Lucian with a look of mock concern. “He’s your friend. He would WANT to know, wouldn’t he?”

    “Yes,” admitted Karen grudgingly. She sat down.

    “Then why aren’t you telling him?” inquired Lucian.

    “I think it would be really awkward for him to be…between us,” said Karen.

    “I don’t think it would,” lied Lucian, looking serious. “He wouldn’t care one bit.”

    “Really?” said Karen, looking doubtful.

    “Cross my heart,” said Lucian, looking honest.

    “More like cross your fingers,” said Karen darkly. “Why should I listen to you? Why should I even give your opinion a consideration?”

    “Because,” said Lucian, looking sincere. “I don’t want to see my rivals be torn apart. Then I would have absolutely no incentive to keep going.” Except power, fame, respect, and admiration, he thought to himself. No, he really wanted to see Will blow up at his friends, to make him (Lucian) look better by comparison.

    “Wow,” said Karen, looking surprised. “I’m surprised you actually care.” She frowned. “Really surprised. Wait a second…” she said with dawning realization. “You just want Will to blow up at us to make yourself look better!”

    “Look who’s caught on,” said Lucian, looking bad-tempered. He suddenly smiled horribly. “You know what? I think I should tell Will…for you.”

    “Why do you think that Will would care so much, anyway?” she inquired.

    “Well, he’s your guys’ best friend…” said Lucian. “He would feel awkward and it would be horrible for him if you guys broke up.”

    “You know what?” said Karen thoughtfully. “I don’t think it would.”

    “Huh?” said Lucian, shocked.

    “All of this seems…silly…when you look at it in the light of day…” she said. “I think that, if anything, he’d be happy.”

    “Yes, but what if Will likes you?” asked Lucian hopefully.

    “I don’t think he does,” said Karen, frowning. “In fact, I have a sneaking suspicion that Will…”

    “No, no, no!” said Lucian, looking angry. “He’d be miserable! This isn’t how it’s supposed to go!”

    “You’ve just shown me that it will all be okay!” said Karen, beaming. “Thanks, Lucian!”

    She hugged him tightly and then went to meet Will as he walked out of the restrooms.

    “Stupid…completely missed…preposterous…” muttered Lucian. He was bright red. He stomped out the door, muttering, and a second later Aaron entered.

    “Hey, guys, check out my Bug Pokémon!” said Aaron happily. A small honeycomb-type Pokémon was flitting about his ear.

    “Is that a bee?” said Karen, looking cautious.

    “Yep!” said Aaron proudly. “Her name is Combee!”

    “Fantastic…” said Karen, but she looked a little disgusted. “You know I’m allergic to honey, right?”

    Aaron shrugged.

    “Anyway, Will, I have something to tell you,” said Karen, looking happy and apprehensive.

    “Yes?” said Will.

    “Aaron and I are a couple!” she said, smiling and taking Aaron’s hand.

    Will looked at the ceiling and sighed with relief.

    “Finally!” he sighed. “I was wondering when you were going to tell me!”

    Karen’s smile faltered.

    “You…knew?” she said uncomfortably.

    “Of course!” said Will. “The way you two acted…your strange stiff way of sitting next to me…it was completely obvious that you two made out in front of a crowd.”

    “We didn’t make out,” muttered Karen. Her ears were red. She shook herself. “But that doesn’t matter. How do you feel about this?”

    “I’m definitely cool with it!” said Will, looking very happy. “You two were made for each other!”

    “It took HER a little while to figure that out,” whispered Aaron loudly.

    “Don’t even get me started,” muttered Karen.

    With a large weight off her chest, Karen led the way out of the National Park and a few steps closer to Ecruteak and the fourth Gym.

     
  4. SlowPokemon

    SlowPokemon The Dizzy Pianist

    Chapter Fifteen
    Lucian’s Big Mistake

    “So, where do we go next, Kare?” said Aaron, walking a little ahead of her.

    Karen was frowning at a map of Johto.

    “Cianwood City seems like a good choice. There’s a Pokémon Gym there.”

    “Great!” said Aaron happily. “How you coming, Lucian?”

    Lucian was walking behind everyone, sulking. He was not used to waking up as early as our trio did.

    “My feet are killing me,” he moaned. “It’s too hot out, and it’s still early in the day. It’ll get even hotter later.”

    Will glanced at Aaron, his eyebrows raised.

    Aaron looked angry for a second, but swallowed and said, “That’s nice. I’m sure it’ll get cooler later on.”

    “I doubt it,” said Lucian sulkily.

    Aaron swallowed again.

    “Okay,” said Karen, “we need to cross the ocean to reach Cianwood. Any ideas?”

    “We could get Slowbro to carry us there,” said Will.

    “Water?” whined Lucian. “I hate traveling over water. I get seasick.”

    Aaron swallowed again.

    “I’m sure you’ll be fine,” was all he said.

    Will released his Slowbro into the water and they all climbed atop it, Lucian in a reluctant manner.

    They rode on peacefully for some time, Lucian muttering all the while. Every once in a while they could make out words like “ridiculous” and “seasick” and “fools”.

    “And who wants to ride on a Slowbro, anyway?” complained Lucian. “It’s uncomfortable and not fast at all.”

    Aaron looked dangerously mad for a second, then swallowed again and said, “Well, at least you don’t have to walk and hurt your feet.”

    “Small comfort,” grumbled Lucian, and Aaron swallowed yet again and said, “But the sea breeze is so nice!”

    Lucian sniffed and said, “It’s too cold. I’ll get hypothermia and die.”

    Aaron just swallowed for the umpteenth time and remained silent.

    Finally, they reached Cianwood City. The day was beautiful. They climbed off of Slowbro, who followed them out of the water. It looked happy and dull as usual. They found several Carvanha with their teeth digging into Slowbro’s underside. It hadn’t noticed.

    Will smiled affectionately and called it back. The Carvanha fell to the ground, where they flopped about somewhat uselessly.

    “Are we finally there?” griped Lucian. “That trip was a nightmare. I hope we have a different way of getting back to Olivine.”

    Aaron swallowed again—Will figured his throat must have been getting sore by that time—and simply said, “Yes, we’re there.”

    “Oh my God,” breathed Will, and everyone turned to look.

    The legendary Pokémon Suicune stood before them, looking out over the ocean, and appearing elegant and superior. It actually shone with a bright light, and all three of them were mesmerized.

    “Is that…” murmured Karen, but she found that she couldn’t complete her sentence.

    “I think it is…” said Aaron, his eyes wide.

    “Suicune…” said Will softly.

    “Friends!” said a delighted voice behind them. They all broke free of their trances and saw Eusine running to them.

    “Eusine,” whispered Karen. “Look.”

    Eusine turned to see Suicune staring right at him. The noble Pokémon nodded its head before dashing away across the water at top speed. It was gone within a few seconds.

    “Suicune,” moaned Eusine with delight. “The Pokémon of pure water…the life-giver…the canine beast so wickedly fast…”

    “…that no man in history has ever been able to catch it,” finished Karen with a faraway look in her eye. “Yes… I can see why you want so much to capture it, Eusine,” she said with a slightly dreamy tone.

    “Ah,” said Eusine, grinning. “You now see that I am not crazy, miss. I am very justified in chasing that wonderful beast.”

    Karen shook herself and said, “Yes…well. So, what brings you here, Eusine?” she said, looking interested.

    “What else, miss, but the aforementioned Pokémon of pure water?” said Eusine brightly. “I am getting better at this! I meet you three, and I see Suicune for the second time in my life!”

    “You’ve devoted your life to chasing that thing?” snorted Lucian. “What a waste! I’d hardly call it a life! That was the most boring, plain-looking Pokémon I’ve ever seen! My Ralts has more class!”

    “Shut up,” advised Will quietly.

    Aaron swallowed.

    “Ah,” said Eusine, his grin fading. “Who is this friend of my friends?”

    “This is Lucian,” said Karen, glancing at Aaron; he didn’t open his mouth. Possibly he didn’t trust himself to speak.

    “Hello, Lucian,” said Eusine, taking his hand and shaking it. “What a pity it is that you don’t appreciate Suicune’s otherworldly beauty.”

    “Otherworldly beauty?” chortled Lucian. “You must have a screw loose, kid!”

    Eusine was definitely not smiling now; rather, he looked quite insulted.

    “I’m sorry if I offend you, your rudeness,” he said icily. “Either way, I must be going now.” He glanced at the trio behind him. “I do not understand why you travel with this lowlife, but you all deserve better than him—you especially, madam,” he said to Karen. He collected himself and walked away.

    “Are you out of your freakin’ mind?” shrieked Karen, grabbing Lucian by the shoulders and shaking him violently. “Why the heck are you so evil?! I can’t believe I ever felt sorry for YOU! You don’t deserve my pity!”

    “You’re the biggest idiot I’ve ever met,” said Lucian calmly, rather enjoying her anger.

    Aaron tried—he really and truly tried—to swallow his anger once more. But all of the day’s anger had piled up and up and up inside of him, and this last swallow was like the tenth piece of pizza that causes one to regurgitate the original nine. All of his rage and irritation came pouring out of his mouth.

    Karen and Will took a step back as Aaron let loose with a huge—and loud—string of curses and screams. They could catch a few words here and there:

    “—BIGGEST LOWLIFE I’VE EVER MET IN MY LIFE, YOU DON’T DESERVE TO BE HERE, YOU SHOULDN’T EVEN BE CONSIDERED A HUMAN BEING—”

    The other two glanced at each other, eyebrows raised.

    “—WILL’S SLOWBRO HAS MORE SENSE THAN YOU, AND I BET IT TAKES HITS BETTER THAN YOU AS WELL, DOESN’T IT, OH I WOULD LOVE TO FIND OUT, AND YOU ARE PUSHING ME OVER THE EDGE, CALLING KARE AN IDIOT WAS A HUGE MISTAKE—”

    Lucian was cowering up against a wall; although he was a few inches taller than Aaron, he was shaking in his shoes.

    “—AND I’VE BEEN PUTTING UP WITH YOU ALL DAY, BUT I CAN’T PUT UP WITH THIS FOR ANY LONGER! THIS IS IT, YOU ARE OUT, WE’RE NOT GOING TO TAKE YOU JUST BECAUSE YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS WALKED OUT ON YOU! YOU’RE ON YOUR FREAKIN’ OWN!”

    Lucian’s mouth fell open. He stammered a bit, and backed away towards the water. Karen and Will joined him in slowly advancing on him.

    “…you can’t do this, guys, you really can’t…I was just joking, heh heh… Seriously! Joke’s over!” He looked over his shoulder nervously. “Guys, one more step and I’m in the water…” He gulped and entered the water. “What can I possibly do now?” he whimpered.

    “SWIM!” shouted the three together, and they watched him swim frantically until he was off the horizon.

    They stood there for some time, until Will finally said, “You had better get to the Gym, Aaron.”

    “Huh?” said Aaron, looking confused. “Oh. Right.” He looked around and located the Pokémon Gym. “Do you guys want to come?” he asked.

    “I’ll come,” said Karen.

    “I will too,” offered Will.

    “Oh, but I thought you said you wanted to get some fresh air,” said Karen a little pointedly.

    “Right,” said Will, cottoning on. “Umm, I’ll just stay out here, then,” he said a little helplessly.

    “Great!” said Karen happily, and she took Aaron’s arm and walked with him to the Pokémon Gym. Will had a strange feeling that wasn’t the only place they were going, but he brought his mind to other things as he sat down on a smooth rock and stared out at the sea. Any little kids that had been playing out on the beach were inside now as the sun was setting. The only other people out was a couple, holding hands and walking slowly.

    “So…” said the girl with a very southern accent. With a bit of a jolt, Will realized it was Margaret, the Gym Leader of Goldenrod.

    “So…” said the boy with her. Upon cautious inspection, Will noted that he looked very strange. He had a few pimples dotting his unassuming face. Underneath a small mop of hair, bright blue eyes gazed into the clear blue eyes of Margaret. He looked decidedly strange, but not unlikable.

    “Listen,” said Margaret to the Strange Boy. “This time we’ve spent together…it’s been great. But…” she continued, then hesitated. “…I can’t do this anymore.”

    “Can’t do what anymore?” said the Strange Boy, his smile faltering.

    “This,” said Margaret gently. “Look, I like you. I really do. But I can’t go out with you any longer.”

    “You’re…breaking up with me?” said the Strange Boy, looking shocked.

    “Yes,” said Margaret. “Look, don’t make this difficult. You’re just not the guy for me. I really hope you understand,” she said anxiously.

    “I understand,” said the Strange Boy dejectedly.

    “I’m sorry,” said Margaret softly. “But it’s over.” She leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the cheek. For a moment, she looked as though she might say something, but in the end she simply walked away, leaving him.

    The Strange Boy stood there for a moment, then finally sat down on a rock near Will, and gazed over the crashing waters, appearing to be in deep thought.

    Will wondered whether he ought to say something, but decided that it was best not to. They sat in silence for a while, and the Strange Boy finally seemed to notice him. He broke into a wide grin and said, “Will!”

    “Umm…” said Will, looking startled, “do I know you?”

    “I suppose not,” said the Strange Boy. “I knew that the others didn’t… but I thought perhaps you…Well, never mind.”

    “So, horrible luck, huh?” said Will.

    “What, you mean Margaret?” sighed the Strange Boy. “I wouldn’t call that luck. It was inevitable… Pretty sad, really.”

    “Okay, then,” said Will, more than a little confused. “So, how did that happen in the first place?”

    “How did what happen?” asked the Strange Boy.

    “You know… you and Margaret,” said Will awkwardly.

    “Well, that’s a story far too long to tell,” said the Strange Boy with a sad sort of smile. “Although I suppose if anyone can tell a long story, I can. Margaret is an old friend of mine. We were never truly meant to be.”

    “I see,” said Will, but he really didn’t.

    “I must be off, my friend,” said the Strange Boy, getting up abruptly. “I have many places to be, and Karen and Aaron should be getting back to you soon. Good luck,” he said, his piercing blue eyes meeting Will’s as they shook hands. He began to go forth, but stopped suddenly and turned around. “Oh, and truthfully, Lucian isn’t all bad,” said the Strange Boy. “But you already knew that, didn’t you?”

    He walked off, and although Will knew they had never met prior to that, he couldn’t deny that there was something familiar about the boy.

    He had little time to ponder all of this, however, as the Strange Boy was correct in thinking that Aaron and Karen were coming. They didn’t say much as they went to book rooms at the Cianwood Pokémon Center, but it wasn’t a negative silence; rather, everyone seemed to have much on their mind.

    Will wondered what the boy had meant about Lucian, but very soon fell asleep.

     
  5. SlowPokemon

    SlowPokemon The Dizzy Pianist

    Chapter Twenty-one
    At 26 Isolé Avenue

    Karen, Aaron, and Will were walking around Ecruteak City, attempting to locate 26 Isolé Avenue, the address of the Strange Boy’s party. It was December 24, and gently snowing.

    They arrived at Isolé Avenue and Will gave a sharp intake of breath. There was only one house—and it was standing on the piece of land which on their previous visit had been barren.

    Neither Karen nor Aaron seemed to notice, but went to the front door and knocked on it twice. Almost immediately the door was opened and the Strange Boy greeted them.

    “Welcome, friends,” said the Strange Boy with a wry smile. “Glad you could make it.”

    “Well, that makes one of us,” said Karen with a very forced smile. “Thanks for inviting us…?” she said, and then paused. “I’m sorry, I don’t believe we ever got your name,” she pointed out.

    “That is correct,” he said gravely. He led them inside without another word.

    Karen glared after him.

    “…Of all the unsatisfactory people…” she muttered under her breath, but followed Aaron and Will.

    Inside, there was a very, large, old-fashioned room. Christmas music was playing and several people were dancing to it. Will was highly surprised to see several people that he knew. In fact… Will started to look at every person individually and found that he had met almost all of them, at some time or another, during their travels.

    Bill, the young inventor of the Pokémon storage system, was talking pompously to the young boy who had been practicing Headbutt in the Ilex Forest. Near them were the irritable nurse from the Violet Pokémon Center and the old man who had talked to them about the Goldenrod Gym Leader: they were dancing together slowly and were looking as if they had never been happier. Also among the crowd were the five Kimono Girls, dancing slowly in a circle around a thin boy who was looking very bewildered. He kept trying to squeeze past one of them, but the Kimono Girls were too close together and kept advancing. Finally a tall boy, a few years older, delved into the circle and helped the boy out. Will heard the first boy stammer “Thanks, Winter,” and the second one sigh, “Don’t mention it, Jub…” and they both went to sit down with the boy from the coffee shop (Grapefruit), who had been watching the scene with some amusement. The tall boy—Winter—asked of a mischievous-looking girl, “Would you get the cards out, ETF?” ETF grinned and stuck a pencil behind her ear as she pulled out a deck of cards—and they began to play.

    In the corner, the Strange Boy was joining Margaret at an old piano and they were presently playing a simple duet. Eusine was explaining about the Pokémon Suicune to Professor Elm, with much hand motion. Elm looked a little awkward; rather, he was looking at Eusine with something that was half intrigue, half caution. The small girl whom they had helped with Oran Berries to her Miltank was sitting at a small table with the attendant from the Ruins of Alph and Margaret’s five-year-old sister, Whitney. And the man from the ticket booth at the traveling circus was sitting in an armchair near the fire, gently snoring.

    “Hey, guys,” said a slightly timid voice near them. They turned to see Lucian, looking a little sheepish.

    “Umm, hey,” said Karen cautiously. “What are you doing here?”

    “I got an invitation,” said Lucian, looking a little surprised. “And I thought I’d come…could be fun, you know…”

    “I’ll bet you don’t get invited to many parties,” said Aaron flatly.

    Karen looked over at him angrily. “Honestly, Aaron. It’s Christmas. Can’t we just be nice to him? This one night?”

    Much to Will’s surprise, Aaron laughed loudly and grabbed Lucian in a hug.

    “Just kidding, man!” he said, grinning. “Glad you could make it.”

    Lucian turned bright red and stammered something, then carefully broke free. He nodded gratefully to all of them and went to sit at a small table with Cynthia and Norman. Norman looked a little more noticeable than normal, and Cynthia looked radiant in a long dress. Aaron stared at her while walking, and as a result banged his head into a pole that rose from the floor to the ceiling. Karen laughed.

    The night wore on. Some of the older people had more than a bit to drink. Suddenly the Strange Boy turned the station on the radio, so quickly that Will was fairly sure no one else had seen him do it. The radio emitted a very strange tune, but very catchy. Abruptly, and all at once, everyone felt the inexplicable urge to dance to the music. Everyone leapt up from their seat and quickly seized the nearest dance partner; and without saying a word, they all began.

    Aaron danced with Karen. The nurse danced with the older gentleman. Winter danced with ETF. Norman danced with Cynthia. And although there were more boys than girls at the party, everyone seemed to have a partner. At the center of everyone, the Strange Boy danced with Margaret, an elegant, complex dance, all the while looking piercingly into her eyes with a wry smile on his face.

    They continued in this manner for about eight minutes, then suddenly everyone swapped partners.

    Grapefruit danced with the attendant from the Ruins of Alph. Eusine danced elegantly and confidently with Karen. Bill danced with Margaret’s five-year-old sister. Elm danced with the young girl from the farm. Nobody cared.

    Suddenly everyone swapped partners again.

    Will danced with Karen. Aaron danced with the elderly nurse. Winter danced with each of the Kimono girls in turn. Norman danced with ETF. And the boy called Jub—although he was a good few inches shorter than her and his eye level was with her chest—was dancing rather vigorously with Cynthia, who was appearing a little flustered and kept having to push Jub back an inch or two—he kept getting closer and closer…

    Eventually several people stopped dancing and sat down as the song changed to a very slow one. Will sat down on a couch, deep in thought for some time, when the Strange Boy sat down next to him. There weren’t very many people left dancing: Karen and Lucian, Aaron and the girl called ETF, and Eusine and one of the Kimono girls were among those still present. Cynthia, who had apparently been unable to escape Jub, was waltzing slowly with him, Winter and Grapefruit looking on and rolling their eyes.

    “Pretty good turnout,” said the Strange Boy happily. He set down his spiral notebook on the coffee table in front of the couch.

    “What are you always writing in that?” said Will suddenly. He had abruptly realized that he wanted to know very badly.

    The Strange Boy hesitated. He put a hand on its cover protectively. “I don’t think I’m supposed to tell you, Will.”

    “You’re not supposed to?” said Will, puzzled.

    “Would you really like to know?” said the Strange Boy finally.

    Will paused, then nodded.

    The Strange Boy handed him the notebook resignedly and sat back. Will opened the cover. It was very full—in fact, there were only a few pages left in the notebook. He flipped to the first page. It read, “Will woke with a start. Glancing around frantically…

    Will gasped.

    “I knew it!” he said in awful realization. He turned to the Strange Boy and said in a hushed voice, “You’ve been writing this…the whole time?”

    The Strange Boy nodded slowly.

    “You’ve been controlling my whole life?” Will said in horror.

    “No,” said the Strange Boy quickly. “I can’t control anything.”

    “Then why?” said Will.

    “This is how the best stories are written, Will,” said the Strange Boy, his eyes lighting up. “How can I know what happened in my story perfectly unless I was there myself? So I came.”

    “You…came?” said Will, not fully understanding.

    “Yes…” said the Strange Boy quietly. “I came. It was not that difficult. I came and I gathered facts about your life. And then…to actually meet the people I was researching…it was too much temptation. I had to approach you all…to talk to you. And I watch you all the while, taking notes on events that are happening.”

    “So,” said Will slowly, “you’re going to go back to…your world…and pass this off as your own?”

    The Strange Boy sighed.

    “Well, I don’t know about that yet, Will… I don’t think I will. I’ll show it to others, of course—for what is an author without his audience! I really don’t know.”

    “So…” said Will. “When do you have to go back?”

    “I am leaving on New Years Day,” said the Strange Boy. “And, as I understand, I might run into you there.”

    Will nodded. He did not quite understand this highly weird boy, but he didn’t need to.

    “I think we’re going to leave now,” he told the Strange Boy.

    He nodded and waved goodbye to them—Karen and Aaron were coming to join, along with everyone else who had been at the party.

    “Goodbye, friends,” said the Strange Boy, seeing them out the door. “I’ll see you all next week.” He closed the door and they all walked off.

    “Wait…” Karen said, pulling Will and Aaron toward her, allowing everyone else to pass. Everyone walked past them, except ETF, Winter, and Grapefruit. They were trying to wrench Jub from Cynthia’s body, but it appeared he was stuck to her with all-purpose glue. It looked like Cynthia was having trouble breathing.

    Finally, they jerked him off and Cynthia took a huge breath.

    “Bye!” said Jub happily, waving to her. She looked very flustered but more than a little pleased, and bent down to kiss him on the cheek.

    “See you,” she said, and went to join Norman, who was folding his arms and glaring at Jub. The pair walked away, followed by the group of three who were dragging Jub, and all was silent.

    Karen turned around to look at the house. It was as she expected: the house was gone.

    “I thought so,” she said softly.

    The land was barren once more. She and Aaron turned back around and went to the Pokémon Center. Will stayed behind. He stood there for a moment and at last saw them: the Strange Boy and Margaret were waltzing slowly, revolving on the spot, dancing to a song that no one else could hear.

     
  6. SlowPokemon

    SlowPokemon The Dizzy Pianist

    I wish someone would take a look at this. :p
     
  7. Wyrm

    Wyrm ~Setting Sail~

    I have, along with roughly 120 other people.


    Overall, it's pretty entertaining and funny; I've found no spelling or grammar errors. 8/10


    ... And since when does one find wild Skorupi or Hypno on the first route? XD
     
  8. SlowPokemon

    SlowPokemon The Dizzy Pianist

    I don't know... XD

    And yeah, I was pretty happy with this. I really rushed the ending because I was anxious to write the last couple chapters, but it was indescribably fun to incorporate myself into the story.
     
  9. SlowPokemon

    SlowPokemon The Dizzy Pianist

    First few chapters of the sequel:

    Prologue
    The End​

    The boy apprehensively approached the dock. He could see her there. She was hugging him while her friend looked away awkwardly. He tightened the straps of his backpack, taking a deep breath and plunging through the crowd just as the other boy boarded the ship.

    She was talking to her friend now with a faraway look in her eye. The boy gritted his teeth. It was now or never.

    He ran up to her quickly. She stopped midsentence, looking at him in a surprised way.

    “Hi,” the boy said breathlessly, breathing hard.

    “Hi,” she said, startled.

    “Hi,” the boy repeated stupidly, staring at her and turning red. There was an awkward silence, she staring at him and he breathing hard. Finally as his cheeks returned to their normal color he continued. “I’ve decided to join the Sinnoh Elite Four.”

    She looked at him, her expression not changing much. “That’s…interesting,” she said dryly. There was another silence. “…Is that all?”

    The boy took a deep breath. “No,” he said with difficulty as he willed himself not to throw up. “I’m… doing this for you because I’m in love with you. I have been ever since I first laid eyes on you. You’re beautiful and kind and intelligent and…” the words were pouring out of his mouth now and there was no stopping them. “and…and…and if there’s no chance I could be with you even if everyone else on earth were dead…I…I…I…” he faltered, “…I just…wanted you to know.” He squeezed his eyes shut, turning painfully red. Why did he have to go red now? Why?

    She stared at him incredulously for a full thirty seconds. A full awkward, exceedingly uncomfortable thirty seconds. Finally, seemingly at a loss for words, she swallowed and he flinched as if expecting her to slap him. Instead, she uncertainly leaned forward and up and kissed him very softly on the cheek. He closed his eyes slowly. Then she leaned back and said with a small hint of a smile, “There might be some chance.”

    And with that, the boy gaped at her in shock, shouted gleefully, “HE WAS RIGHT!” and ran for the boat at top speed. He didn’t hear her finish her statement under her breath (more out of habit than anything), but I personally doubt even that could have dampened his spirits.

    And so it came about that Lucian, hungry for more fondness from Karen, the girl he loved, boarded the ship to Sinnoh, off to the next chapter of the story. Oh yes, this is still the same story. It’s just a bit of difference in…perspective, shall we say?

    [size=17pt]Chapter Two: a Spinoff[/size]

    Chapter One of Chapter Two Coming Soon


    Chapter ½
    What?​

    “Wait, what?” “Spinoff?” “What does he mean by that?” “Is this kid crazy?” “Is this guy serious?” “Why write a sequel?” “Can’t he just leave this alone?” “Why am I even reading this?” “Is there even a first one?” “Wait, this isn’t the Post Your Thoughts of the Moment Thread?” “Is this nonfiction?” “Who’s Lucian again?” “WHAT THE HELL?”

    These are some questions you may be asking yourself after reading the prologue of Chapter Two: A Spinoff. Now first I have a word of advice for you.

    [size=17pt]SIT DOWN, SHUT UP AND LET ME FINISH.[/size]

    Now, how many of you have read my epic masterpiece, The Will to Go On? Hmm? You? You, you, you? Good. You there. Yes, you. Staring down your monitor with half closed eyes, mouth hanging open slightly, a spot of drool hanging down dangerously close to your keyboard. You didn’t raise your hand. Why is that? Hmm? Ohhh! I see! You didn’t read my story! Ah. That makes sense.

    [size=17pt]GTFO.[/size]

    IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THE WILL TO GO ON, THIS STORY WILL MEAN NOTHING TO YOU WHATSOEVER. SO GO READ IT NOW. AND THEN PUNCH YOURSELF IN THE FACE FOR BEING SO STUPID.

    …But I digress. So, are you back yet? Read the story? Yes? Good. Now go write at least ten paragraphs of feedback, first of all for disrupting the story, secondly because at this point I don’t like you.

    For those of you that need to have your “back cover” in order to truthfully get into a story (laaaame) then here is what the story will be in a nutshell:

    Since you have ALL read The Will to Go On at this point, you will recall all of the characters and how they are living at the end of the story. They did not just stop living there. That’s like writing an autobiography. It makes no sense. You cannot cover everything you have done simply because you haven’t done everything yet.

    Therefore, this will be a sort of mash-up of all the characters and what they’re doing with their lives. Rather than a measly four month’s worth, as in TWTGO, this story is set to cover a whole year, all the way up to the wrap up chapter in the Mahogany coffee shop, published a couple days ago.

    So KEEP READING! Stick with me, guys. I plan to make this better than The Will to Go On, keeping with the simplistic writing style but just stretching it out more.

    [size=17pt]CHAPTER ONE OF CHAPTER TWO STILL COMING SOON.[/size]



    Chapter One
    I Did Not Write This​

    Lucian ran up to the boat just as the gates slammed shut. He groaned and then approached the man standing near the gates. It was getting late; the sun was turning pink.

    “Please!” he said. “I have to get on that ship!”

    The man pretended not to hear Lucian.

    “Sir,” said Lucian impatiently. The man didn’t say anything. “Sir!” said Lucian a little louder. The man turned his head away. [size=13pt]”SIR!”[/size] shouted Lucian.

    Finally the man sighed deeply and slowly turned his head.

    “Sir, I—” began Lucian.

    “No passengers on ze boat after ze gates are closed, no exceptions whatsoever,” said the man in one breath, examining his nails in a bored way.

    Lucian took a deep breath. Being mean had never helped him in the past. No—if he wanted to get on that boat, he had to use his greatest asset: his mind. Only tact would save him now. He thought quickly and spoke.

    “Sir,” said Lucian with a superior half-smile, “I know the real reason you won’t et me through.”

    “Oh really,” said the bored man sharply.

    “Oh, yes,” said Lucian. “It’s completely obvious.”

    “Zen why don’t you…enlighten me,” challenged the man.

    “It’s because you have neither the skill nor authority to open the gates,” laughed Lucian knowingly. It was a long shot; it was incredibly obvious what he was doing; but Lucian hoped the man’s massive ego would overpower his intellect and, by extension, his logic.

    The man’s nostrils flared. “Why, you leetle…” he exclaimed, then stopped and took a deep breath. “I’ll prove how wrong you are.” He inserted a key into a switch on the wall near him, then pressed a button underneath that. The gates creaked open.

    “How eez zat for authority?” said the man triumphantly.

    “Wow,” said Lucian, running through the gates, “you sure showed me!”

    *****​

    Lucian made it on to the ship in time. He sank into a chair near the entrance, filled with relief. After a moment’s rest, he stood up and approached the receptionist nearby.

    “I’m here for my room number,” he told her.

    “You must be Lucian,” the lady sighed. There was always a late guy. Always. “Room 314. Enjoy your stay on the S.S. Aqua.”

    And so Lucian went in search of his room.

    The S.S. Aqua was a magnificent cruise ship, extravagant but somehow off color. There was something odd about the place, and Lucian soon discovered what it was. There were three levels on the ship, but only the bottom-most level had rooms on it. So how did he get the room number 314? All of the rooms were randomly numbered, making it impossibly difficult to find one’s room. Finally he located room 314, between 712 and 423, then dumped his belongings on the bed and left to explore the ship. It wasn’t long before he heard a familiar voice.

    An intimidating boy, ridiculously muscled and, it seemed, dangerously angry, was shouting at a gangly boy, furious.

    “KEEP THOSE FREAKY CRAWLY THINGS AWAY FROM MY ROOM!” bellowed the boy.

    “He was just lost,” said the other boy defensively. “Weren’t you, Spinarak…yes you were…”

    Lucian almost laughed as the muscular boy returned to his room, disgruntled. Only one person he knew could coo at a writhing spider.

    “Aaron!” he called. Aaron looked around, bewildered.

    “Hello?” said Aaron, looking around.

    “Aaron!” said Lucian, running up to him. “It’s me!”

    “Lucian!?” said Aaron, shocked. “What are you doing here?”

    “I’m going to Sinnoh!” said Lucian proudly. “I’m going to join the Elite Four!”

    Aaron stared at him.

    “Well…uhh…congrats, I guess.”

    “What’s the matter?” Lucian said curiously.

    “Oh…nothing,” Aaron said, grinning broadly to prove it. “Forget it. So what’s up?”

    Lucian stared at him oddly.

    “Oh. Nothing. Just on a ship.”

    “I knew that,” scoffed Aaron. “What room are you in?”

    “Oh…314,” said Lucian. Like that would help either of them know where he was staying. “What room are you in?”

    “1211,” responded Aaron. “I think that means I’m on the twelfth floor,” he continued, frowning, “but I haven’t found my room yet.”

    “Umm…” Lucian said, looking at him weirder still, “…where…where’s your luggage then?”

    Aaron frowned again. “Uhh…good question.”

    Lucian closed his eyes exasperatedly.

    “Well…uhh…good luck with that, Aaron,” he said carefully, walking on past him.

    “That kid,” he murmured to himself, “has some issues.”

    He consulted his map of the ship as he walked. “Let’s see…if I go this way …eventually I’ll end up…where?”

    He was so engrossed that he didn’t notice where he was walking, and slammed into a girl.

    “My god, why don’t you just watch where you’re—oh!” said the girl in surprise. “It’s you!”

    Lucian’s tongue was tied and his mind blank as he tried to think of something—anything—to say. Finally he managed to stammer, “C-Cynthia!”

    “Yeah!” said Cynthia, smiling. “What’s up?”

    “Oh…nothing,” said Lucian, trying to get his thoughts together.

    Cynthia was an inch or two shorter than the lanky Lucian. She had long blonde hair and a flawless body that could distract any male human for, um, an incredibly long time. She had broken off of her group that consisted of her, Lucian, and Norman—and Norman went along. Which was a real punch in the face for Lucian. Not to mention this made things way more awkward. Even more awkward, he could not for the life of him remember her looking so stunning. Something had changed. And now she was staring at him, waiting for him to speak. Why couldn’t he think? What was wrong with his brain? And why was he going red now? Why did that always happen?

    “Ahh…” Lucian began, “so…why are you going to Sinnoh?” he managed.

    “Oh, just sightseeing,” said Cynthia, still smiling. “I’ve been to a couple other regions now. My Pokémon are getting stronger. Sinnoh seems like a really neat place. Are you still going to join the Elite Four?”

    “Yeah!” said Lucian, relaxing a bit. If he just let her do most of the talking, it wasn’t so bad. “It’s always been kind of a dream of mine.”

    “Wow, that’s really cool!” said Cynthia, and she looked like she thought so. “I really admire that.”

    “Yeah,” said Lucian.

    There was an awkward silence.

    “Well,” said Cynthia at last, “I better find my room.”

    “Good luck with that,” laughed Lucian.

    “I know, right?” said Cynthia reproachfully. “I’ve been through like five hallways and haven’t found it yet.”

    “What’s your room number?” said Lucian.

    “Umm…712,” she said, squinting at a piece of paper.

    “712…” Lucian said, frowning. “Hey, that’s right next to my room!”

    “Wow!” Cynthia said. “Kind of odd that you remember that.”

    “Really?” said Lucian, going red again (damn his adolescent body).

    She laughed. “No, I’m just messing with you. You always were really easy to mess with.”

    “Yeah, I’m really gullible,” said Lucian resentfully, red as a tomato.

    “Yeah,” agreed Cynthia, “but I think it’s because you’re just really trusting and…kind of sweet. On the inside.”

    Lucian frowned. “I thought you thought I was a jerk.”

    “I did,” said Cynthia, scrutinizing him. “But you’ve…changed, I think. At least a little.”

    “So have you,” Lucian said without thinking, but luckily she didn’t hear him; she was still talking.

    “So yeah, let’s go to your room,” said Cynthia.

    “What?” said Lucian, going bright red again.

    “Isn’t it right next to mine?” she said, puzzled.

    “Oh…yeah,” said Lucian in relief.

    There was another silence.

    “Umm, don’t you want to lead?” Cynthia said pointedly.

    “Yes,” said Lucian. “I’m trying to figure out where my room is.”

    Cynthia burst out laughing, and he gave a shaky, nervous laugh too, and led the way to his room.

    “Thanks, Lucian,” said Cynthia, smiling again. “See you later, I suppose.”

    “Thanks,” said Lucian. “Uhh, I mean, you’re welcome. See—see you later.”

    “Oh, and Lucian?” she called as he turned around. He spun around again and said, “Yes?”

    She hesitated and then said, “No hard feelings about what happened, right?”

    He didn’t say anything for a second. Did she know how upset she had made him? Did she have an inkling of how miserable he was after she and Norman had left? Did she even have any idea at all about how horrible it was for him?

    “No hard feelings,” he lied finally, with a painful smile.

    “Good,” she said, relaxing. She made to hug him awkwardly as he started to walk away, then she pulled back as he held his arms out. Then they both laughed still more awkwardly and retreated to their rooms.

    Good thing he had patched things up with her, he thought as he got into bed—wait. Why did he care?

    What did it matter if they were okay now? He loved Karen, didn’t he?

    Well?

    Didn’t he?

    He just didn’t know anymore, but he really didn’t let him bother him too much as he drifted off into an exhausted sleep. It had been a long day.

     
  10. Ysavvryl

    Ysavvryl Pokedex Researcher

    A large amount of chapters in a few posts. I made little notes as I went along reading.

    Prologue: Rather mean of Will’s father to yell at him like that, especially if he suspects/knows that the boy is psychic. Would have been better if it hadn’t been in all-caps and ‘angrily’. ‘panicky’ would be better.

    Chapter 1: If you’re doing third person, avoid using ‘I’ and ‘you’ in narration unless there is an obvious narrator. Having someone’s ‘green hair shining loudly’ is an accidentally amusing image, I think. Also, short chapters (says the person who usually has five to eight thousand word chapters; if that’s how you write, it’s not a big deal).

    Chapter 2: I love when Aaron got his Yanma; it made me laugh. But really weird that Elm says ‘keep one Pokémon out’ as a certainty when in the game (several years later), he wants to test that out as a theory.

    Chapter 3: Weird again that Houndour adores Karen when she has yet to treat it well… surely it’s not an idiot? And if you’re having trouble using sniggering, use snickering. Same thing. Will had better be glad that he seems to have future sight, not mind reading (after that hypnotizing bit).

    Chapter 5: Awesome touch to have Will release Hypno for causing trouble. You don’t see that often.

    Chapter 6: The Ralts is rather powerful knowing Psychic already… but then following regular game procession makes the fic much longer, I know. Edit: And then he never ever has it out again, or uses it. What gives? There was no point to this capture and I even forgot about the Ralts.

    Chapter 9: I agree that arguing characters get old.

    Chapter 11: Didn’t you say at the Violet City Gym that only challengers could enter the Gym? Might want to explain that it was a local rule in order for this chapter to happen.

    Chapter 12: The Pokecenters must have thick walls if Will didn’t hear any of that argument, or the crowd cheer! And the Lucien-Karen conversation was weird. I can't put my finger on why exactly; it read unnaturally.

    Chapter 16: Again, don’t use ‘you’ in third-person narration unless it’s consistent. And finally mention of Will’s dreams. It was bizarre that they were introduced and then never again used. Tarot readings are usually much much longer than that. These ones didn’t seem to do all that much, especially since they couldn’t be remembered. So, it was kind of a waste of eighty-five dollars for them.

    Chapter 18: There’s a point where you say Will and Aaron went to a coffee shop, but Aaron had just gone to challenge the Gym. And Will saw Aaron battle Margret, so it’s not like he’s seen none of the Gym battles.

    Chapter 19: That is an utterly bizarre ruling about the Elite 4 qualifications. Especially since the two spots in Johto don’t require the Gym challenge. And that Elm didn’t try calling again, or that Karen didn’t get her Pokegear fixed, or that Elm didn’t try calling one of the other two. But it’s also weird that the region has the exact same Gyms and Badges all that time ago.

    Chapter 20: Much too short?

    Chapter 21: And I just thought, shouldn’t Cynthia be much older? And weird that Norman’s with her. You probably should have named her something else if she was meant to be Normal’s wife/the PC’s mom. Also, at the start of this chapter, you said that Will was the only one who noticed that the house was on the old empty lot, but then Karen sees that it’s gone and says that she thought so. Should have been Will.

    Nice and there is decent grammar, but lots of fridge logic going on. Also, it seemed really skimpy, with only occasional descriptions and lots of dialogue (I write dialogue-heavy too, so I can’t really complain too much). And why were Will’s psychic dreams never used again after the Hypno incident? There’s no good explanation for why, and it seems like a waste. This story was almost completely about Karen and Aaron, with Will just tagging along for the ride. It didn’t help that Aaron was the only one battling and that was only shown once. The protagonists’ Pokémon could have been used a lot more; they were only there as plot devices or minor bits of humor.

    I think this could be great, but it needs more work.
     

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