Things Parents Told You When You Were A Kid That You Found Out Were Not True

[Dew Watatsumi]

-My grandparents threatened to mail me to North Korea when I was 3-5
-I am a handsome young man and that girls like me...(only the creepy/weird ones)
-You can be anything you want to be. Yeah, I'm not Superman! Thanks for letting me crack my face on the table when I jumped off the couch!

 

[Touché Amoré]

My dad used to tell me I was born on a full moon. That was BS I looked it up.

*Siiiiiiighhhhh*

 

[Quimagma]

Santa clause and I could be anything... To this day I'm still trying to turn into a quilava

 

[Dragonicwari]

That Santa existed... Then they have me a book explaining why he couldn't when I was 6 or 7... OBVIOUSLY the book was lying to me >.>

 

[AnakBaé]

"Getting A's at school will make you rich & respected someday."
Then I found out that my wealthy uncle, who's currently leading huge resort companies around the globe, was actually a "C" student, or "D" rather.
Good attempt but it doesn't work that way, mom.

that having a college degree would bring me jobs, money and girls.

^This too.

 

[ThisIsPatrick]

Where do I start...

- That watching Tv to much makes your eyes go square
- If you pull a funny face and the wind changes it stays like that forever
- Easter Bunny (Rabbits don't lay eggs)
- If I had a day off school my Nan said if there is a helicopter that means they are looking for me

 

[Galux]

When I was four I was looking at the book the Lorax and I asked my mum if this could ever really happen and she said yes if you cut down all the trees. i got so scared that I hid the book. I don't know why she told me that she really never lied much.

 

[DarthVader]

1) That Santa Claus was real.
2) That the tooth fairy was real.
3) That water was a dangerous conductor of electricity (we were also taught this in primary school).
4) That eating food with a dirty place mat would give you food poisoning.

 

[Pokemon~Master]

That an obese man lives at the Northern Polar region of Earth, has enslaved countless creatures of Germanic myth, and has flying reindeer and a sleigh that can somehow travel the globe in a single night and every year delivers presents to millions/billions of kin worldwide.

Also, that when my tooth falls out, I can place it under my pillow and another being of European myth will appear, take it, and leave me some moolah.

Man, I was a gullible youngin'.

 

[Vernikova]

They told me that I wasn't special but joke's on them now.

 

[supersmew]

That those pieces of fabric that hold the curtains back would chop my fingers off and kill me

 

[IAintObeezy]

I would turn into a dog if I eat dog food...

 

[KickAsh]

That I was unique and talented

 

[jonnyc]

My babysitter once told me when I was 7-ish that your mind melts the longer you use electronics. I believed it for a while and got scared using the TV.

 

[TheEliteEmpoleon]

That if I eat a seed, the fruit's tree would grow inside my stomach.

 

[*PKMN Trainer Paddy*]

They used to tell me that you could get a baby if you prayed hard enough.... I told my mother to do it. Wasnt so easy then.
They used to convince me that anyone who died went 'away' for a really long journey
I think at one point, to keep my Christian faith strong, they told me there was only one religion.

 

[chanseychansey77]

Mom told me that bubbles eat germs... Not quite the truth.

 

[RainbowSupernova]

My parents told me the usual stuff like tooth fairy, Easter bunny, etc. and that if I look at a screen for long enough my eyes will go square. Also that if you wanted a baby you just needed to ask and babies just teleport out of the womb......

 

[disposable_heroes]

So you know how they say "you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar?" Wrong.

Set out a bowl of balsamic and a bowl of honey. The vinegar gets more.

I was also watching a pot yesterday, and guess what it did? It boiled.

i really have to stop reading xkcd obsessively

 

[SilverChiko]

that i was handsome and that girls would like me.

only the uncool unpretty girls.

Same here