Things Parents Told You When You Were A Kid That You Found Out Were Not True

[GrizzlyB]

That they loved me.

 

[Fenix]

That people aren't assholes.

 

[Hikari Paradise]

That pressing the button on the stickshift would make the car explode. Actually I never tried it and I'm assuming it's safe, I'm gonna go try it out right now. *large explosion in the background*

 

[PrismaticPrincessAnna]

If i dont sleep before midnight, some evil witch will eat my brain xD nya~

 

[Pikakirby]

That boys can't wear dresses...o_o

 

[Interference]

they said i was pretty

 

[Auraninja]

I think my step-mom told me that people that commit suicide go to hell because they can't ask for forgiveness.

Bleh.

 

[Coileach]

1. A wet head gives you a cold.
2. Family dog got hit by a car ( it was my mother's jeep)
3. Bullies are cowards. I think must parents say that to their children but it just isn't true.
4. Reading in a dark room by the light of a lamp is bad for your eyes.
5. I'd grow out of pokemon.

 

[Kutie Pie]

I remembered another one. My mom had a miscarriage because she was exposed to a little bit of the X-ray when my brother went to the emergency room for his broken toenail. I may have known about pregnancy, but I never knew about miscarriages, so when I was patting Mom's belly in church one week, she said the baby wasn't there and just left a mess. I was all, "Oh," and never thought about it again, though she got pregnant again not long afterward with the middle brother whom my brothers and I insisted on calling him "Johnny", though the moment he was born, we stopped calling him that. Which is odd, I don't know why we did that.

 

[Mister_SGG]

You know, there are plenty of younger folk on this site that may believe some of the things we are mentioning actually exist. Meanwhile, we are taking those beliefs and pounding them with a flaming jackhammer.

That Adam and Eve existed.

ooooh shieett we got a religious debate on the way

*Looks at the rest of the posts in the thread*

Wait, nobody commented on this?

I think my step-mom told me that people that commit suicide go to hell because they can't ask for forgiveness.

Bleh.

Gee, how pleasant.

 

[Plus side down side]

"If you have to sneeze, put your nose in the air and say 'grapfruit' and then you won't have to sneeze". Never worked.

 

[Estellise]

My parents never talked about storks... Instead, when I asked where babies came from, they said inside a mother's womb. ._.

The only thing I can think of would be Santa Claus.

 

[rfc77]

My parents never talked about storks... Instead, when I asked where babies came from, they said inside a mother's womb. ._.

My Parents Told Me About The Womb As Well Because It Was One Of The Few Words I Remembered After A Farm Goat Punctured My Brain in 2004 But Because I Did Not Remember Its Meaning Then My Parents Told Me That Womb Was Short For Wombat And That There Used To Be A Stork That Delivered The NewBorn Babies But He Was Killed By Poachers So A Wombat Took Over The Job And Traveled Underground To Deliver Babies Instead Of Flying And Dropping Them Because The Way That The Stork Delivered Babies Was A Lot More Dangerous And Not As Sneaky

 

[Rave]

that i was handsome and that girls would like me.

only the uncool unpretty girls.

 

[noobers]

That the water that pours from our faucets hasn't been through thousands of urethras. Well, they didn't lie about it. They just never told me.

 

[Kurry]

that i was handsome and that girls would like me.

-sinks into deep depression-

 

[TheSilentBang]

That santa claus wasnt real...

WHY MOM WHY :'(

 

[Riversong]

The usual. Santa Claus, easter bunny, tooth fairy.

I'm trying to think of something funny but I got nothing.

 

[~Demon Maxwell~]

My Dad used to tell me that people with black hair were seriously depressed with their lives and felt the need to burn it. Of course, that was when I was very young... always got creeped out though. .__.

And that if you staple your nose, you die. I don't even know.

And that tissues from Italy are softer than those from England, my mom always said for some reason. Now, I know this is quite a controversial topic for some people - tissues are serious business and all, I get it - but I recently got some from Italy when my mom brought some back, and they SUCK. I'm glad I kept my English tissues. .__.'

 

[Rayze Darr]

My mom told me that her and my dad were legally forced to divorce because he didn't show up to a couple's event.

She wasn't too far off from the truth. I guess "legally forced" and "he was spending the night with another woman when they were renewing their vows" are comparable.

Stay classy, Dad.