This is court, defend yourself! v2

[Monster Guy]

A remake of a game I made a looong time ago. Sadly, this game wasn't popular enough for somebody else to remake it.

The game is simple. The first person accuses the next poster of a crime, and the next person defends their innocence. Then they accuse the next poster of a crime, then the next person repeats step two and the game continues.

Example

I accuse the next person of stealing candy from babies!

Objection! Those babies' parents should be thanking me! Candy is bad for their teeth. What were they thinking giving them candy?!

I accuse the next person cheating at poker

Try to be witty with the accusations and defenses, this is meant to be funny. Feel free to use courtroom lingo.

Rules

General Serebii rules apply
No flaming or trolling
if you are ninja'd, please edit your post accordingly
Don't SPAM the thread with chit chat
Have fun

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I accuse the next poster of not reviving this game for me.

 

[Monster Guy]

I'm allowed to bump my own thread so.

 

[SilverChiko]

Objection! I had no knowledge of this game ever existing and therefore couldn't if I wanted to.

I accuse the NP of having too few waifus.

 

[Monster Guy]

Objection, I'm not a polygamist! That is a crime in an of itself.

I accuse the next person of doing unspeakable things...

 

[Sprinter1988]

Objection! If you cannot speak of what I did, you cannot prove I did it!

I accuse the next person of turning my Exeggcute into an omelette!

 

[HM02gon]

Well, I'm a blind woman and I can't tell if eggs have eyes or not. The omelette was delicious, though.

I accuse the next person of farting on a crowded bus.

 

[Monster Guy]

Are you sure it was me? It could have been anyone of these people!

I accuse the next person of killing my hopes and dreams!

 

[Ascended Dialga]

It was in self-defense!

I accuse the next person of eating my Blaziken.

 

[Pikachu Fan Number Nine]

It was my father who did it I'm a vegetarian

I accuse the next person of breaking all my Eagles LPs

 

[Sprinter1988]

There was an earthquake and they fell....

I accuse the next person of condemning many poor pokemon to an eternity of suffering, locked inside pokeballs in an PC system with no hope of escape!

 

[Everlasting]

Objection! These Pokémon were actually injured, so putting them in a PC would let them proper time to rest. Nothing is eternal!

I accuse the next person of being too beautiful.

 

[Sprinter1988]

Objection! You're using personal bias there. (Thank you, btw)

I accuse the next person of kidnapping a penguin from the zoo!

 

[Satoshi & Touko]

Objection! That penguin happened to be Dawn's Piplup, her first Pokémon and I was actually returning it to her!

I accuse the next poster of abusing my poor Herdier.

 

[Sprinter1988]

Objection! You should not have let it poop in my garden!

I accuse the next poster of serving Lord Voldemort!

 

[Pikachu Fan Number Nine]

I was under mind control at the time

I accuse the next poster of trying to set me on fire

 

[Everlasting]

Objection! The person was already burning up, and the bucket I threw was not of oil, but water!

I accuse the next poster of eating all the donuts I bought!

 

[Sprinter1988]

I was hungry and they weren't named

I accuse the next poster of being a werewolf

 

[Lexya428]

Objection! How would he know?! Is he stalking me?!

I accuse the NP of stalking me.

 

[Sprinter1988]

Objection! I am not. Just ignore that man in the shadows... you don't hear me breathing... its all in your imagination....

I accuse the next poster of having an over-active imagination!

 

[Everlasting]

My imagination is mine alone. Spying on me is against human privacy!

I accuse the next poster of theft on this big screen television!