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Through the Thunder and the Lightning

Brutaka

Ignition
So what game did you get that you'd abandon your creations for? It also broke your update record.
Terraria. I just spent 14 hours straight on there...

No problem, and it'd be interesting to see you review around the forum. I don't think I've seen you besides in this thread, and we could use all the reviewers we can get.

Oh, my critiques are mostly for mostly sketches and drawings. And my grammar and stuff isn't good enough to correct on that basis, as you can tell :/
But I suppose I could critique on plot flow and direction.
 

muchmula

Absol's Trainer
New reader here, I like the story so far, but is it abandoned? If I'm reviving, sorry. If not put me on the PM list.
 

Brutaka

Ignition
New reader here, I like the story so far, but is it abandoned? If I'm reviving, sorry. If not put me on the PM list.

No! Of course it isn't abandoned! I have a guest over this week, and part of next week, and while she's here we're doing tons of stuff and going lots of places. So I dont have much time to write. But when she leaves I will try to get Ch. 8 out. And yes, you can go on the PM List.


EDIT: I'm EXTREMELY sorry I haven't updated in so long...seriously guys. But I promise I'm still gonna work on it. There's a contest going on for art and literature that I'm taking place in. My short story is almost done and when its done, I'll submit it. Once the contest is over, I'll post it as a One-Shot, regardless if I win or not. So you'll have that.

So thats why not only my fic is delayed, but also my shop has been paused for the moment as well...

But the submission period ends today, so...

EDIT II (08/04/12 12:29AM): Chapter 8 is finished as of now. However, I'm gonna give it a 24-hour cool down as was recommended. Only a little bit more guys!
 
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Brutaka

Ignition
Drum roll please! *a drum rolls past me* *facepalm* "That was a bit too literal..." Anyway...I now present...Chapter 8! The Fracture!

Chapter 8
The Fracture

"Ah!" I cried as I gave everything I had into my Quick Attack. I smashed right into the boulders. "Ow! That...ow...really didn't feel good..." The rocks didn't even budge. "No, I can't give up," I said, dusting myself off. I dashed into the boulders again. Electricity flew everywhere as it was released from my cheeks in my attack. I was thrown backwards. I slowly got up and held my head. "Okay, no more of that..."

Teary-eyed April watched with dismay. "Sparky, stop it before you kill yourself. Its no use." She turned and walked over to the wall. She dropped to the floor and sat against the stone behind her. "Oh, I hope we don't get stuck down here forever..."

"No! Don't say that! We'll find a way out! We're a team, the best there is!" I took a seat next to her. In a calmer tone, I say, "Seriously, we'll get out."

"I hope your right..."

"Hey now, where's all that spirit I'm so used to hearing?"

"But look, the wall's solid; we can't get out. What's the point?"

"Hm. You know what? Let's talk about something else. Because maybe someone will realize we're gone, and they'll come save us. Too bad we can't get a rescue letter out...Anyway, like I said: we should talk about something to take our minds off of this."

"Good idea," April said with a nod. She wiped her eyes. "So. What do you want to talk about?"

"I knew you were going to ask that...I suppose we could, I dunno, talk about ourselves. Get to know each other more, you know?"

"Okay, I guess. Um, you go first?"

I looked down at the floor. "Well...I really don't know much about myself. The amnesia took all my memories. I was left with a name. Nothing else. I'm sorry, I really can't contribute then..."

"Hm. How about you tell me what's been going inside your head since you woke up? Maybe that will tell me more about you."

Do I tell her? Tell her that I...like her? No, not yet. It wouldn't be right. She's clearly still upset about the possibility of us not making it out...Maybe later would be better. I looked back at her. "There isn't much to tell. Obviously, waking up as Pokemon is terrifying."

April gave me an odd look. "What's so bad about being a Pokemon?"

"Er, that's not what I meant. All I'm saying is that I know I'm supposed to be a human. Randomly waking up as a different species would be scary, wouldn't it? Not to mention not being able to remember anything. Imagine if you woke up as a human and couldn't remember anything. You'd be freaked out, wouldn't you?"

April nodded. "I guess I see your point. Go on."

"So while I attempted to even just stand up in my strange new form, you showed up. At first, you actually kinda scared me, haha." I let out a small chuckle.

"What do you mean?" April was giving me that odd look again.

"Well, I suppose I'm used to being taller. And when I saw you, I thought you were some sort of giant squirrel monster or something. But then-but then I-" I was stumbling at that point. I couldn't decide whether to tell her my feelings or not.

"But you what?"

"Um, then I realized I wasn't so tall and that you were only as tall as me. I hadn't remembered all the Pokemon names at once, but I knew you were one of them."

"Uh-huh. I know there's more than that..." She looked at me with a serious gaze.

What!? Am I really that transparent? Oh no, now what? I fumbled for words. "Er, um, well you see, when I saw you...a-and that sparkle that you had on your coat...it-it"

"Oh boy...why does this always happen? I had suspected as much. You like me, don't you? Like, you know, like me, like me?"

"Wha!? Er, um, uh, no, not at all! Well, uh, yeah. Yeah, I do..." I was looking at the ground again. This isn't when I wanted to bring this up!

April sighed. "I knew it...I've caught you just randomly staring at me. It looked like you were daydreaming. But you weren't. You were staring at me. Well, I suppose its to be expected. I am incredibly good-looking after all, teehee!" She seemed happier. I thought that was odd.

She looked as if finding out made her upset. But...she's all giggly again. Could that mean? No, don't get your hopes. Arg! I can't believe it! What am I thinking!? How could I have let that feeling go crazy again? People...humans...aren't supposed to like Pokemon! But denying this feeling is getting harder and harder. I've got to turn back soon!

I shook my head, clearing my thoughts. "Look, April, it doesn't matter how I feel. That's the Pachirisu talking. I'm really a human. It would...it would never work out..."

"What do you mean? You are the Pachirisu! At least, you are now!"

"I just don't want to get all attached to you. In fact, it'd be worse for you if you became that way towards me. I'm still trying to turn back, remember? If I were to go back, this Pachirisu would be gone. I wouldn't be here. I'd be back with my friends, my family. As a human. And if you grew to like me...in that way...then imagine how hurt you'd be? I couldn't stand to do that to anyone. I just couldn't."

April was silent for a while. Then she put her paw on mine. "Then don't. Stay with me instead. Imagine the adventures we could have together! Doesn't...doesn't that sound like fun?" She was giving me a shy, sideways glance.

I took my paw away. All of this was getting way too touchy-feely for my taste. "No, please, don't do that to me. Just, stop. Stop it...Don't make me choose!" What am I saying, of course I'd go home. I can't like a Pokemon!

"Shane! You're gonna have to decide eventually!"

I looked at her suddenly, confused. "You...you called me Shane."

"What? Oh, I, uh-"
BOOOM!
April was interrupted with a huge sound that resembled an earthquake combined with something big hitting something hard. The ceiling began to crack. Small rocks started falling and they became bigger with time. Then I saw a large boulder falling from the cavern roof directly towards us!

"Move!" I yelled as I shoved us both out of the way with Quick Attack.

"Shane, I-"

"Not now! Come on, before something else falls on us!" I pulled her up off the floor and lead her away from the falling rocks. They seemed to be relatively isolated to a small area.

As the rumbling stopped, I noticed light shining down from the ceiling. An exit!

"Oh thank Arceus, look! Light! It could be a way out!" April said with a leap of joy.

"Its very likely to be. Come on!" As soon as we were about to make the first step however, a huge beam of ice froze the hole and left a huge pillar of ice blocking the exit. Before we could even be sorry for ourselves, the ice was shattered and melted by a red hot inferno.

"...Is it over?" I asked tentatively.

"I-I think so. Maybe we should go check." And so we slowly walked to the hole in the ceiling. Through the hole, we could see that it was roughly twilight, as the sky was cast with an orange hue. "I'll fly up and see what's going on."

"Be careful," I warned. With a smile and a nod, she flew through the gap and landed on the edge.

"By all that is mighty, what on Earth is going on!?" April yelled with fear in her voice.

"What? What's happening?" I was anxious to see what she was riled up about. Without a word, she hopped down and told me to hold onto her tail. I did, and then she hopped up into the air, lifting me off the ground. She wasn't strong enough to get me all the way up, but with a flash we were launched upwards. Her Quick Attack barely got us above the gap, and she glided us both to the ground near the hole.

The next thing I noticed was what I presumed had April in such a fuss. It wasn't twilight. In fact, it was the middle of the night. The sky was red with the embers of a huge fire that blazed all around us for miles!

Oh no! What about Salvage Springs? We're really close to town! But I looked to where the town was. It was safe and encased in huge dome. Towards the top, directly under the surface of the shield was Uxie. He seemed to be using his power to shield the town. On the side of town closest to us, on the ground, were two other Pokemon that were strengthening the barrier with their Protect attacks. They were Quagsire and Honchrow, the Salvaging Co-Guildmasters. A purple and black, pig-like Pokemon was strengthening the barrier on the other side of town with his powers.

A large explosion to our left, however, drew my attention. An epic battle was taking place. Well, it would have been epic had it not been completely one-sided. Three large birds were fighting a group of rock and steel snakes. And the snakes were losing badly. One of the birds, an orange one covered in flames, shot off a multitude of Fire Blasts at the steel-clad snakes. They fell hard. The blue bird, which sported a large navy-colored tail, froze the rock snakes solid with a beam of ice. The yellow bird was somehow whipping gusts of fire-hot wind that helped in downing the steel snakes. It would be a safe bet to say that a few stray shots from the birds it what made the hole in the cavern roof.

As the last snake fell, the three birds landed on a grass hill, looking at their defeated opponents.

"Ha! Weaklings," the yellow one spat.

"Yes...I would have expected General R to send stronger opponents. I'm quite disappointed," the blue one added.

"It was a necessary win though. Uxie didn't want to join with Master Z, so we attacked. General R was at least smart enough to send in opposition," the orange one said. He looked at the fallen snakes, "but I was surprised with these pathetic excuses of soldiers."

"But come on, who could stand up to us?" the yellow bird retorted.

"Mehehehe, true," the blue one laughed arrogantly.

"Come. We have much more work that needs to be done," the red bird reminded.

"But, Moltres, what of the town? The fire will surely burn it to the ground." the blue bird asked.

"Leave it. If Uxie doesn't want to cooperate, then fine. He'll just have to watch his pathetic excuse of village turn to ashes..." Moltres said with an evil chuckle. The three birds then spread their wings and flew south, right over us. They were a powerful force.

"Hey, April, who were those three?" I asked.

"Moltres, Articuno, and Zapdos. They aren't deities, but they're legendary in their own right. Those three are among the most powerful in existence. And they burned down Foggy Woods!" April yelled with anger.

"Yeah, and the fire's about to take Salvage Spring with it!"

"No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! How could this happen? Why? Why were those birds even here? They're supposed to be tucked away, asleep on Element Island! What are they doing here? What are we going to do?"

"I don't know. Uxie's shield isn't going to last forever," I said grimly.

"No it isn't. But there isn't anything we can do. The fire has the whole town surrounded. We can't even get to it."

I took a glance at the purple shield surrounding the town. It flickered and a crack began to force near the base. A horrible splintering sound was emitted by it.

"Oh no, its already happening! The shield is failing!" April cried. The cracking noise sounded again, and fractures appeared all over the force field. Then, with a mighty crashing noise, the dome imploded on itself and hundreds of purple shards rained over the Salvage Springs...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Muhahahahaha! Time for some serious plot developments and more twists and turns than a water slide! Shane's feelings for April finally come out, April attempts to convince him to stay, and April finally called him 'Shane'! General Z's forces win the Battle of Salvage Springs, and the town is about to consumed in flames. What will they do!? Why am I asking you this again? You guys don't know. I do! Mehehehehe. Okay guys, see you in a month! Just kidding ;)
 

Azurus

The Ancient Absol
Well well well, it seems Shane is conflicted in where he wants to be and the town is in peril.
Who exactly are General Z and General R and what could they possibly want.

I'll stay tuned to find out next time and thanks for updating, it was worth the wait. Looking forward to more.
 

Brutaka

Ignition
Well well well, it seems Shane is conflicted in where he wants to be and the town is in peril.
Who exactly are General Z and General R and what could they possibly want.

I'll stay tuned to find out next time and thanks for updating, it was worth the wait. Looking forward to more.

Yes...Shane's human thoughts and the Pokemon's instincts are started to conflict...
Oh...you mean you don't know who Z and R are yet? Hm....And who knows what they want? God-like beings are very fickle in that regard.

Your welcome as always. And there will be more, promise!
 

Knightfall

Blazing Wordsmith
Definitely worth the wait!

Wow, there's a lot going on in this chapter.

The legendary Elemental Birds working for General Z, who wants to recruit Uxie to his cause.
In their failure to persuade Uxie they leave fire that will lay waste to a protection less Salvage Springs, so yeah, the next chapter better be out soon!

Brutaka said:
What will they do!? Why am I asking you this again? You guys don't know. I do! Mehehehehe. Okay guys, see you in a month! Just kidding ;)

Because, you enjoy hearing our theories on what happens next. That's why!
And you know that it's me who takes a month to write a chapter, so don't take my sign off! (I'm kidding, seriously, glad to have you writing again)

Knightfall signing off ...;005;
 

Brutaka

Ignition
Definitely worth the wait!

Wow, there's a lot going on in this chapter.
Yes, quite a bit considering its one of my shorter chapters. Longer than the last two, but shorter than 1-5.

The legendary Elemental Birds working for General Z, who wants to recruit Uxie to his cause.
In their failure to persuade Uxie they leave fire that will lay waste to a protection less Salvage Springs, so yeah, the next chapter better be out soon!
And what about Shane and April? They're stuck on a grassy hilltop surrounded in flames after all.

And you know that it's me who takes a month to write a chapter, so don't take my sign off! (I'm kidding, seriously, glad to have you writing again)
lol. Yea, I hope I dont do that again :/ You know, take forever for one chapter.
 

Knightfall

Blazing Wordsmith
And what about Shane and April? They're stuck on a grassy hilltop surrounded in flames after all.

You think I forgot them? I was just thinking about the fact that the entire town is about to go up in flames.

lol. Yea, I hope I dont do that again :/ You know, take forever for one chapter.[/QUOTE]

Same here.

Knightfall signing off ..;005;
 

Cometstarlight

What do I do now?
I presume that General Z and R are Zekrom and Reshiram respectively, correct? Nice twist to bring April and Shane's relationship to light as well as bringing in the bird trio.
 

Brutaka

Ignition
I presume that General Z and R are Zekrom and Reshiram respectively, correct? Nice twist to bring April and Shane's relationship to light as well as bringing in the bird trio.
SHH! Don't tell every one the secret <_< >_> Just kidding. But yes, you'd be correct in that presumption.
Shane's and April's relationship had been underlying thing going on during the entire fic, and they did have some alone time. Don't let two teens that have a crush on each other have alone time. In a cave. By themselves. And that totally doesnt have perverted underlying meanings >_> Because remember folks, this is a G rated fic. No sexual innuendos here <_<
Anyway, about the birds, ya, I plan on having most, if not all, the legendaries make a showing here. Not the Black/White Kyurem though, I wont have a place for them.
 

Azurus

The Ancient Absol
I feel like an idiot? How was that not obvious...

I'll go shoot myself now, don't try to stop me.

"But it was just a mistake, you have so much to live for, don't do i.... oh."

"What did you think I was doing?" As he lifts a shot of alchohol up to his lips. "Just gonna shoot myself with shots"

*edit* yeah that was bad, but it was funny at the time. *edit*
 
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Brutaka

Ignition
I feel like an idiot? How was that not obvious...

I'll go shoot myself now, don't try to stop me.

"But it was just a mistake, you have so much to live for, don't do i.... oh."

"What did you think I was doing?" As he lifts a shot of alchohol up to his lips. "Just gonna shoot myself with shots"

*edit* yeah that was bad, but it was funny at the time. *edit*

You mean...you really didn't know? Neat. I had actually thought between Zekrom's appearance in the Prologue along with the consent mention of Z(whose the only legend whose name starts with Z and was already mentioned) and R(which 'R' legend goes with the 'Z' legend?) people would have figured it out. But as you stated, even you thought that was obvious. But when some of the people had troubles figuring out who they were, I didnt help them because it would make for a slightly bigger surprise later.

However, figuring it out now wont effect your reaction to much of anything later on.
 

Azurus

The Ancient Absol
For some reason, browsing around my brain for legendaries that begin with R and Z only turned up the regis and Zerobii from a different fic, and they aren't even Legendary. I have even been playing pokemon black/white recently and didn't even think of them.
 

Saph~

Serebii Champion x.x
Once again another great chapter ^_^ cant wait for the next one, Nice use of dialogue also :)
 

Brutaka

Ignition
Sorry for the wait. Least it was as long as last time. This is the first chapter to go through a beta reader. Though they only caught like three things, so...Well, I know there's more mistakes than that. With that out of the way, here's the next chapter!

Chapter 9
Exodus
April and I sat against the stone wall, not only completely depressed, but tired from all the stress the day had given us. My eyelids felt heavy, and I nearly dozed off multiple times.

After witnessing the dome crash in on itself, the fire that was about to consume the town had crept in on us quickly. The hill we were on was grassy, so we knew we had to find safety from the inferno. The only thing we thought of was to jump back into the Mud Caverns. That's what we ended up doing. The Luminous Orb had faded into a dull glow and now the moonlight shining through the hole was the only source of light.

"Heh, trapped again in this same cave..." I muttered.

"Don't even start." April looked just as tired as me.

"Sorry. Well, I suppose if we're gonna wait for the fire to burn itself out, we should get some rest. The cave is made of rock and mud; we'll be safe from the flames down here."

"A good idea, I guess. See you in the morning," April said. She laid down on a dry patch of loose dirt and I did the same. April didn't look very comfortable though.

"Uh, hey, if you want, I guess you could use my tail as pillow or something," I suggested weakly.

April gave me a sideways glance. "You know, Sparky, I just don't get you. You say you like me. Then you say that you don't want to like me. When I admit my feelings to you, what do you do? You tell me not bother. And now this? You just don't make any sense!" She was yelling at end.

I was silent for a moment. "It was just a friendly gesture. I'm sorry I even bothered." She could tell I was hurt. Her expression softened.

"Oh, Sparky, I'm sorry. I just...I was confused. And your like the first guy I've ever liked before, and then-"

"No, don't. Just...just try and get some sleep. We have a long day tomorrow."

"Sparky..."

"I said that I didn't want to talk about it. Good night." I curled up on my tail and buried my face into my tail.

April laid on the floor again. Before closing her eyes, she whispered, "...I'm sorry..."

...Me too... I thought before I fell asleep.

That night, I had the dream again. The surrounding landscape was much clearer now. I seemed to be sitting on a stone floor. Perhaps the roof of a tower? I couldn't tell. It was windy though. In front of me was an indescribable creature. It was speaking a powerful, all-knowing voice, but I couldn't quite make out the words.

"Yo... a...... the ......y t... t......s la...d's su......er.........g..."

The ground beneath me shook and crumbled and I fell into the darkness.

Then I was back in the cave. Awake now, I looked around. Sunlight was streaming in through the roof. April was still sleeping, though she seemed to be having a nightmare or something. I jostled her.

"Hey, April, you okay?"

"Hunh? What? Sparky? Is that you? Oh, sorry, I was having bad dream."

"Hm. What about?" I knew there was still tension from the previous night, but I wanted to see if I could avoid talking about it.

"Um...sorry, I can't remember." She looked at the hole in the ceiling. "Oh, hey, its light out. Looks like the fire is gone too."

"Yeah, I was about to say that. I guess we should go see, should we?"

"Oh, I hope the town is all right..." April motioned for me to hold onto her tail. I did, and together we blasted out of the cave.

The grass was all burnt up now. The forest was mostly flattened and the surrounding area was black for miles and miles. We laid eyes on Salvage Springs, or what was left of it, together.

"No! The town...my home! It's gone, its all gone!" April cried. Indeed, where the small town of Salvage Springs used to be now lies a blackened ruin. Some of the more metallic structures were somewhat intact, such as the Cafe and the gate into town, but nearly everything was just a pile of ash.

"This isn't good. Not good at all. I'm sorry, April."

"What happened to everyone? They didn't....you don't think they...?"

"April. They're fine. I'm sure they all escaped. Also, I'm sorry your town burned down and all, but we need to keep moving. We don't have much food and we should probably find where everyone went." I was speaking with much less emotion than would be expected. Last night had numbed most of my feelings, at least for a little while.

April sniffled and nodded. "Yeah, you're right. But where should we look? I don't know where Uxie would take everyone."

"Me neither. But," I started. I squinted at the far end of town. "I'd image they went that way." Near that side of the town there was a trail that wasn't covered in black ash. Once our minds were made up, we began to make our way to the path. The hill we were on was only about an hours walk from the town gate.

It was noon when we reached the remains of Salvage Springs. Walking through the place was very depressing. We didn't talk much, though April cried to herself occasionally. She would see an old hang-out or a friends house and cry a bit, muttering incoherently. I kept walking in an attempt to keep her moving as well. I felt bad for not feeling the way she does, but I only lived in the town for a few days. I didn't know it that well. April, on the other hand, grew up here.

The main street was blocked by some fallen, burned-out tree trunks, so we had to take a side street I had wanted to avoid. At the end of the street was April's house. Or what was left of it. The new mailbox that was out front was a pile of ash. Both beds were completely gone. The house itself was mostly flattened, as it was completely made out of wood. The small bubbling spring was black with ash and now made a slow gurgling noise. The place was sickening, and I truly felt the pain this time. April was in heavy tears and was collapsed on the ground.

"I worked...so hard on it...my, my dad helped me with it...it's-it's all I had left from him. And now...now its gone..." April muttered through her fit of sobbing.

What's that? It sounds her like her dad is gone. Something to ask about later, I guess. I put a paw on April's crying frame. She stopped her muttering for a moment and looked up at me. Her eyes were puffy from all the crying. She looked at the ground for a moment, gave a small nod, then managed to find the power to stand up again. With a paw on her shoulder, I pushed her along. She didn't offer much resistance, but I knew it was what kept her going all the same.

After making it out onto the main road again, I noticed that there weren't any other obstructions to hamper our progress. So I was thankful for that. We passed the Yamask Bank after a little ways. The place was actually fairly intact but the burned-out look and the piling ash everywhere made the place look even more creepy than it already was.

The Kangaskan Storage was completely flattened. I hoped they had already taken all the stuff when they evacuated. The Link Shop was equally burned up.

We didn't stop at the Cafe. I tugged April along and she didn't stop. She had been mostly looking at the ground that entire time so she may not of even noticed that we had passed her favorite place besides her house. Maybe she didn't want to notice.

At the edge of town, a question struck me. "Hey, April, do you know what's weird? The fire burned too quickly. There's ash and wasteland for miles, but its only been one night. How could the fire burn that quickly?"
She sniffled and cleared her throat. "I'm-I'm not sure....but rumor says that Moltres fire burns hotter and faster than any other fire in the world..."

"Hm. That must be it. Oh, and is there any other town nearby? Maybe one that everyone would escape to?"

"No, not really. The closest city is that way, I guess," she said softly then pointed in the direction that we were going. The unburned path led that way as well.

"Well, that's a good a way as any. Let's go. I hope we don't have to go that far."

I shouldn't have said that. I wish I could go back and time and slap myself. The trip was long. It was very, very long. The ash and black went on for miles and miles in front of us. April decided it would be much faster for her to fly and I ran on the unburned grass below her. I suppose that's one good thing about being a Pachirisu: I was fast as lightning. The electricity that coursed through me must of been stimulating my muscles in a way that boosted my running because I couldn't think of any other way to explain how fast I was going.

The exercise was good for us. It let us both focus on only one thing: moving forward. It pushed any thoughts of the burned out town, the fighting birds, the missing people, and the awkward things spoken the night before.

After many miles and quite a bit of time later, we stopped for a rest. We didn't talk. I took two apples out from my bag and we ate. After a short while, we went back to running or flying, respectively.

After dozens of more miles, we noticed something in the distance. It was greenery! Apparently the fire wore out after a while, and we were leaving the wasteland. Invigorated by the sight, we pushed ourselves harder to get the forest. Though once we got there, April lit up like a light, figuratively speaking. Just inside the edge of the forest was a large gathering of Pokemon. And not just any Pokemon. It was the entire population of Salvage Springs!

"Sparky! Sparky, Sparky! Look! Oh, thank Arceus!" April squealed, hopping about.

"Hm. How did everyone get this far out? That's what I'm wondering. Look how long it took us to get here, and we were going really fast." I was happy, sure, but it confused me.

"Well, they did it somehow. I'm just happy they're all alive!"

"Sure, sure. I suppose its a question best left unanswered anyhow. Well, let's go meet up with them." And so we slowly walked up to the group. Everyone was mostly talking amongst themselves and many were sad about the loss of their home. Spinda, who had been conversing with her three chefs, noticed us first.

"April? You're alive? Oh, that's wonderful!" Spinda made her way over to us in her characteristic swaying movements. "Happy day, happy day!"

"Spinda! Did everyone make it?" April asked after a quick hug with her friend.

"Yes, yes! After the Elder's shield broke, the only thing he could do was make a smaller one with some other Psychic Pokemon. He called everyone together and he contained us all. Then him and the rest of the Psychics moved the shield with us, protecting us from the fire. The Elder is a powerful Pokemon indeed."

"Well I'm glad everyone's fine. Um, where is the Elder? I don't see Uxie around." I asked, looking around.

"Oh, he's talking with the other town Elder."

"Other Elder? What other Elder?" I was confused.

"No, no, the Elder for our new town. We're all going to be living in Treasure City! Won't that be exciting?"

"Treasure City? I've always wanted to go there!" April exclaimed.

"Well, want no more. Look!" Spinda pointed in the distance ahead of us. There, between the trees, was a metallic gate.

"Oh my Arceus! Sparky, let's go! Nice seeing you Spinda!"

"Anytime. See you on the inside!" Spinda finished with a wave. We took off after that and ran straight to the metal gate. It was an impressive sight. The gate was dozens time taller than us. It wasn't really a fortified entrance or anything, rather, it was a greeting arch. It was improved version of the rusty old gate that stood in front of what used to Salvage Springs. A grouping of paw prints was displayed on the top piece.

"Welcome to Treasure City! Where bounty is-" April started to read.

"-Right around the corner..." I finished. April turned to me, surprised.

"Sparky? You could read that?"

"Um, yeah. What language is that written in?"

"PokePrint, like normal. Have you always been able to read that?"

"No. This...this is new...."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So you may think "Oh, Shane can read Pokemon now. Isn't that good? Why is he worried?" Its a good question actually. But he has a reason to be worried.
Anyways, another shorter chapter. I hope I can get back into writing longer chapters, I dont know whats with me lately.
Earlier in the chapter, Shane and April are at each other again. Shane's still unsure of himself and what he really wants, as he grapples between the morals of a forgotten life and the feelings of an alien body. And being a guy alone with a girl he likes, he's not exactly, well, comfortable. I'm a guy too, you know, I get it.
And yes, there are two time inconsistencies in this chapter. The first, the lightning-quick fire, was sort of explained. The second, the lightning-fast town people, will be explained some-what later. So. Yup.
 
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Azurus

The Ancient Absol
They didn't actually escape at all, bwahahaha! Just kidding.

I noticed quite a few but they are simple spelling ones. I'll list them below.

"Sorry for the wait. Least it was as long as last time. This is the first chapter to go through a beat reader." should be "wasn't", should be "beta" (this line doesn't really count, but it's there)
"Oh, Sparkly, I'm sorry. I just...I was confused. And your like the first guy I've ever liked before, and then-" is it supposed to be "sparky" or "sparkly"?
"I said that I didn't want to talk about. Good night." I know it's dialogue but he should have said "talk about it" you were missing a word there.
"April? You're alive? Oh, that wonderful!" Again, dialogue but it should be "that's" unless that is just a quirk that spinda has.

That's all I could find on my second glance through, I didn't notice anything particularly off for regular description and it was mostly talking anyway.

Well, it seems Shane is discovering other abilities he didn't know he had, how will this affect him later I wonder? What of April? Is all her wealth destroyed and will she have to start all over from scratch?
Definitely looking forward to more from you, keep it up, it is getting quite interesting.
 

Brutaka

Ignition
They didn't actually escape at all, bwahahaha! Just kidding.
This isn't LOST okay? lol, god I hate those kind of endings.

I noticed quite a few but they are simple spelling ones. I'll list them below.

"Sorry for the wait. Least it was as long as last time. This is the first chapter to go through a beat reader." should be "wasn't", should be "beta" (this line doesn't really count, but it's there)
"Oh, Sparkly, I'm sorry. I just...I was confused. And your like the first guy I've ever liked before, and then-" is it supposed to be "sparky" or "sparkly"?
"I said that I didn't want to talk about. Good night." I know it's dialogue but he should have said "talk about it" you were missing a word there.
"April? You're alive? Oh, that wonderful!" Again, dialogue but it should be "that's" unless that is just a quirk that spinda has.
All fixed. Wow, those are embarrassing...
Well, it seems Shane is discovering other abilities he didn't know he had, how will this affect him later I wonder?
Oh no, he meant what he said. He didn't have that ability before. When he first got to Salvage Spring, he couldn't read the sign. But now he can read PokePrint. So what's happening to him...?

What of April? Is all her wealth destroyed and will she have to start all over from scratch?
I guess we'll have to wait and see...

Definitely looking forward to more from you, keep it up, it is getting quite interesting.
Yes, Yes ^_^
 
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