Timothy and the Story About Pokemon

[Neko Godot]

PM List:
Byakugan Tenten
The Great Butler
Legendary Suicune Girl of Pokemon
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Fez the Mysfit Elf
Moonlight Locust

Timothy and the Story About Pokemon (AKA Gotta Nuke 'Em All!)

Rated PG-13.
I don't own Pokemon. If I did, I wouldn't be here right now.

Chapter 1: Introductions and Such

Pallet Town

Timothy laid in his bed, tired. His strange yellow eyes were closed, and his blonde hair was flat on his face. Tim was very relaxed, until his mom yelled at him. “Wake up Tim! You’re going to be late for your Pokemon.”

Tim wake up, confused, but then became angry. He yelled back, “How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t want a Pokemon?”

His mom appeared at the foot of his bed. “You have to have a Pokemon. It’s the law!”

“Says who?”

Timothy’s mom stood there. She had no good answer to the question, so she completely disregarded it. “Hurry up and eat your breakfast. You’ll be late if you don’t.”

Tim groaned. “I don’t want a Pokemon! And you know why!” he shouted.

“That Arcanine was not going to bite you! It just wanted to play!”

Tim’s voice lowered. “You weren’t there. The look in its eye, it was… it was… bloodthirsty.”

“That’s nonsense. Now get ready!”

~~~~~~~~~~

Tim left his house in Pallet Town soon after. He made his way towards Professor Oak’s laboratory.

“You are late,” Oak said sternly.

“I don’t care. I don’t want a Pokemon anyway!”

Oak’s face became as red as a Slugma. “Criminal!” he yelled.

Tim became nervous. “What do you mean?”

Oak took out a worn hardcover book. He turned to a specific page and read from it. “Anyone who does not take their Pokemon on their tenth birthday is considered a criminal.”

“That’s an actual law? I thought my mom was lying.”

Oak shook his head. “She wasn’t. I’m sorry, but now I’m going to have to take you to jail.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The officers looked surprised as Oak dragged Timothy by his collar into the jail. “What seems to be the problem?” one officer asked.

“This boy doesn’t want his Pokemon,” Oak said.

Upon hearing this, both officers went to Tim and dragged him into another room. This one was dim, with the only light coming from a tiny light bulb. “Okay jerk,” the officer began. “You say you don’t want a Pokemon. Well too bad, it’s the law.”

“I don’t want one.”

“Oh, you don’t?” the officer screamed in Tim’s face. Tim noticed the officer’s badge had the name Tom on it. “Well I don’t care about what you want! I care about the law, dammit! You will take a Pokemon!”

“No,” Tim calmly said.

“Ignore him Tim. How about a nice can of soda?” The other officer, Joe, gave Tim a cold can of soda. Tim drank it as Tom began yelling.

“How dare you give him a can of soda? He doesn’t deserve it! He broke the law! He’s a criminal! He should be thrown in jail!” By this time, Tim had finished his soda, and Joe gave him another. “What you’re giving him another soda! Are you crazy! Giving a criminal a soda is crazy!”

“Ignore him,” Joe told Tim. “He’s doing nothing to advance the story.”

Tim, who had finished his second soda, now realized he had to go to the bathroom. “Joe, I have to pee! Can I leave?”

Joe’s face now put on a maniacal grin. “Ha! That was the brilliance of my plan!” Joe laughed. “By giving you soda, I knew you would have to pee! So, I’ll only let you go if you take a Pokemon!” Joe evilly laughed right in Tim’s face. “So now what are you going to do?”

Tim got up, pushed in his chair, and walked to the corner of the room. He unzippered his pants and began to pee. After that, he zippered his pants and sat back down in his seat. “Listen,” he said to Joe. “I don’t want a Pokemon. I really hate them. But, if you insist, I’ll take one anyway so that this whole thing can end, and you can go home happy.”

“Sure,” said Joe. “Why did you wait ‘til now to say that, though?”

“I don’t know. I’m just doing what the writer tells me to do.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Back at Oak’s lab, Tim got scolded at. “Now you’re really late!”

“Let me take a guess. I’m going to get a Pikachu now, right?” guessed Tim.

“Wrong!”

“But I wanted a Pikachu! They’re so cute and fuzzy! It’s the Pokemon I hate the least!”

“Too bad. You got three choices. There’s Bulbasaur, Charmander, and Squirtle. Pick one!”

“I don’t like any of those!” complained Tim. “At least give me an electric type!”

“No”

“Yes”

“No”

“Yes”

“No”

“Yes! Yes! YES!”

“I give up,” said Oak. “I’ll give you an electric type.” Oak took out a bag.

“What is that?” asked Tim. “Is that a pocketbook?”

“No, fool, it is a murse.” Tim looked confused. “C’mon, you know. A man purse!”

Tim laughed at Oak. “You have a purse!”

“No, moron, it’s a murse!” Oak took out a Pokeball from his murse. “Here it is!” Oak tossed the Pokeball to Tim, but he missed and it crashed into one of the professor’s computer monitors. Out of the ball came a creature with a blue body and a fluffy yellow coat of wool. It had a yellow and black tail with an orb at the end.

“Mareep!” it cried happily.

“This is a Mareep,” Professor Oak told Tim. “It is known as the wool Pokemon. Mareep’s fluffy coat of wool rubs together and builds a static charge. The more static electricity is charged, the more brightly the light bulb at the tip of its tail glows. Its fleece grows continually. In the summer, the fleece is fully shed, but it grows back in a week. If static electricity builds in its body, its fleece doubles in volume. Touching it will shock you.” Oak finished his lecture, satisfied, but then noticed Tim was lying on the ground, sleeping. “Wake up, Tim!” screeched Oak, and Tim woke up suddenly.

Tim saw his Mareep. “Aww… it doesn’t look so bad. It looks kind of cute.” He rushed over to the Mareep and hugged it, but was shocked. “Ow, that hurt! Why didn’t you tell me about that, old man?”

Oak’s face was now a deep red. “THAT’S IT! MY FINAL FUSE HAS BEEN LIT! I CAN’T STAND YOU, YOU WHINEY BRAT! YOU ARE UNLIKABLE AND UNRELATABLE TO THE READERS! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A POKEMON BATTLE!” he boomed.

“No need to speak in all caps, old timer, but I accept your challenge anyway.”

*********************************
Pokemon Trainer Tim vs. Professor Oak
*********************************

Professor Oak took a Pokeball out from his murse. “Go, Dragonite!” An orange dragon appeared.

“Erm… okay Mareep. Go out there.” Mareep turned to face Dragonite.

“I’ll give you the first move, since you’re a noob,” said Professor Oak.

“Nobody calls me a noob! Mareep… uh… attack.” Mareep was confused at first, but then decided it would tackle. It went running head on to Dragonite, but Dragonite turned around and whacked Mareep with its tail.

“Good job Dragonite! Now use hyper beam!” The Dragonite flew in a loop, and then sent a white beam soaring out of its mouth and towards Mareep. Mareep dodged it, sending the beam crashing into Oak’s file cabinets. “All that research!” Oak cried.

Tim noticed that Dragonite was weak from the hyper beam attack, and was now on the ground, resting. “Mareep, do whatever you did before!” Mareep once again went running to Dragonite, and this time the attack made contact. However, Dragonite hardly moved, and the attack seemed unaffecting.

Oak yelled more commands at Dragonite. “Another hyper beam!” he yelled, but Dragonite was still weak from the last one and couldn’t move.

“Mareep, another… tackle!” Tim shouted, and Mareep ran towards Dragonite again. Dragonite had now recovered from the hyper beam, though, and now sent another one at Mareep. Mareep was running head on into a hyper beam and couldn’t stop.

The beam collided with Mareep. In a fabulous explosion, Mareep was sent flying into some of Oak’s computer monitors, causing them to get chipped of broken. Mareep struggled to move, but it fainted.

*********************************

“Well there we have it. I won, I won, I won!” taunted Oak. He returned Dragonite to its Pokeball. Tim did the same to Mareep.

“Will my Mareep get better?” Tim asked.

“If you take it to a Pokemon Center, it will. Unfortunately for you, the nearest one is in Viridian City.”

“So I have to travel there alone?”

“No,” answered Oak. “I’m paying a visit to Bill, who lives near Cerulean City. I’d also like to visit my grandson in Viridian. He’s the gym leader there.”

“Gym leader! Can I battle him?” questioned an excited Tim.

“We’ll see. He is pretty strong. Now if only I could remember his name…”

~~~~~~~~~~

Route 1

Professor Oak and Tim had been traveling on Route 1 for about a half hour. The journey had been mostly silent. However, Oak tried to start conversation. “So, what made you so against Pokemon?”

Tim looked at Oak for a second, and then answered. “Well, it is very hard to explain. I’m going to have to use a flashback.”

“I hate flashbacks.”

“Me too.”

It is a bright, sunny day in Pallet Town. Today is the day of the town fair, and everyone is excited. Tim wakes his mom up early so that they can avoid the lines.

After riding on a few rides and eating a lot of cotton candy, Tim’s mom has to use the bathroom. She lets Tim go exploring by himself. He sees a tent labeled K9 and enters it.

Inside the tent is a police office with a fiery red Arcanine. “This is a police dog,” the officer said. “It helps us solve crimes.” The Arcanine then proceeded to do tricks, such as finding hidden items and jumping through hoops.

At the end of the presentation, the officer welcomed the audience to come down and pet Arcanine. Tim gladly got up. However, as Timothy approached the Arcanine, it barked. Tim ran away in fear, and the dog gave pursuit, still barking. It was impossible to outrun the Arcanine, and soon it pounced on Tim. Tim saw its glaring eyes, its teeth, ready to bite. Luckily, the officer came to the rescue, and got Arcanine away from Tim before it attacked.

“That’s my story. That’s why I’m afraid of Pokemon,” said Tim.

“Well, it wasn’t that bad. I still prefer a good novel over a flashback any day, though.” A building appeared over the horizon, and the professor pointed at it. “We must be close to Viridian City now,” he told Tim.

“I can’t wait!”

End of Chapter 1

 

[Yami Ryu]

The beam collided with Mareep. In a fabulous explosion, Mareep was sent flying into some of Oak’s computer monitors, causing them to get chipped of broken. Mareep struggled to move, but it fainted.

I would have expected Mareep to have been exploded into puff fragmets from a headon collision.

Meh overall, even if 'long' this chapter felt, rushed and bland to me. I really didn't see any drama though you said there wouldn't really be any. And the humor was well poor at best. :/ suggest you put more effort into the next chapter, and try to make the characters/pokemon a bit more fleshed out. Or atleast make the humor more humorous. As in all honesty so far I'd rate this a 1 star fic.

 

[Neko Godot]

I would have expected Mareep to have been exploded into puff fragmets from a headon collision.

Meh overall, even if 'long' this chapter felt, rushed and bland to me. I really didn't see any drama though you said there wouldn't really be any. And the humor was well poor at best. :/ suggest you put more effort into the next chapter, and try to make the characters/pokemon a bit more fleshed out. Or atleast make the humor more humorous. As in all honesty so far I'd rate this a 1 star fic.

That's the thing with first chapters. They're so annoying to write. As for characters/Pokemon, I tend to focus on plot more than characters, so that might come out a little bad. And the main plot doesn't start until Chapter 3, so... that's all I have to say.

 

[The Great Butler]

Not bad, certainly different. Hahaha, Prof. Oak has a man purse

 

[Neko Godot]

Chapter 2: Blastoise, Mankey, and Beedrill, Oh My!

Viridian City

“Okay gym leader, I’m ready to challenge you!” shouted Timothy, followed by Professor Oak, who was shaking his head. The gym itself seemed to be built out of large blue building blocks.

A deep voice echoed across the gym. “What fool dares to enter the Viridian City Gym? Don’t you know that those who fail to win never come back? Mwuhahahahaha!”

“Grandson, is that you?” Oak asked.

“What, what are you talking about?” the deep voice continued. “I do not have a grandfather. You must be confused. Now leave this place! NOW!”

Professor Oak noticed a knob on one of the blocks, so he grabbed it and twisted it. A door opened into a room with flashing lights and many colored buttons. Inside the room sat a boy, older than Tim, who had wild brown hair. He was wearing a blue shirt and pants, and had on brown boots.

“Gramps, what are you doing here?” the boy asked. His voice was not deep, but high pitched and whiney.

“Up to your old tricks again, eh?” Professor Oak said. “Trying to keep your unbeatable gym record by scaring all of the challengers away?”

The boy hopped out of the room and into the gym. “Yes,” he answered, obviously frustrated that his plan had been figured out.

“Well anyway, nice to see you again, er… uh… what was your name?” Oak was lost.

“It’s…”

“No, don’t say it! I can figure it out! Er… was it Barry? Oh no, that wouldn’t be right. Uh… maybe Larry?”

“I’m telling you, it’s…”

“I said don’t say it! Okay, c’mon Oak, let’s think. I’m a professor, for goodness sake; I should be able to figure out my grandson’s name. Er… okay, I got it!” Professor Oak snapped his fingers. “It’s Mary!” The boy fell over in embarrassment. “What, that’s still not right, okay then…”

“It’s Gar…”

“Don’t tell me! It’s er…”

“Gary!”

“Gary? Who’s Gary?” Professor Oak asked. The boy, named Gary, fell over in embarrassment again. “Oh, that’s your name! Gary!” A look of realization appeared on Oak’s face. “But hm… I could have sworn your name was Blue, or even Green.”

“I myself thought it was Shigeru,” said Tim.

“Gramps, I never understood!” whined Gary. “I’m your own grandson, yet you can’t even remember my name!”

“Yes, I can, Mary,” said Professor Oak. Gary fell over in embarrassment once again.

“Who’s that kid you brought?” asked Gary.

“My name is Timothy, and I challenge you to a Pokemon battle for a gym badge!”

Gary fell over, this time with laughter. When he recovered, he spoke to Tim. “Kid ever consider a career in stand up?”

“No, I haven’t,” answered Tim. “Why?”

“Because there is no way that you can beat me now. I mean, I’m the final gym leader. You don’t have any gym badges. And it’s only the second chapter! You can’t beat me!”

“Yes I can!”

“No you can’t!”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“NO!”

“NO!”

“YES!”

“Hah!” Tim pointed at Gary. “You said yes! I can win!”

“THAT’S IT! I’M GOING TO SEND YOU ALL THE WAY BACK TO PALLET TOWN! SAY YOUR PRAYERS, KID!” yelled Gary.

********************************
Pokemon Trainer Tim vs. Leader Gary
********************************

“Go Blastoise!” Gary sent out Blastoise, a large blue Pokemon protected by a shell with large cannons on it.

“Go Mareep!” Tim threw his only Pokeball to release Mareep. “You know, I’m going to win. My electric type Mareep is strong against a water type like Blastoise.”

“Blastoise, finish this now. Use a hydro cannon.” From the cannons on Blastoise’s back came an extreme amount of water. It hit Mareep, nearly drowning it, and sent it with amazing force into one of the building blocks.

“Hah! I win!” cheered Gary.

********************************

Gary did a little victory dance, but an expression of fear hit him when he saw that Mareep had left a crack in the building blocks when it had been hit. “Everyone, out of the gym!” Gary yelled. Building blocks soon began to crash from the ceiling, the force of the crash causing other blocks to fall. As the three people ran out of the gym, a domino effect with the blocks began, and soon the entire gym had been destroyed. All that remained was a pile of building blocks.

A look of anger struck Gary’s face. “Leave! NOW!” Gary yelled at Tim and Oak. “I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! EVER!”

“What about in chapter eleven?” Professor Oak asked.

“Oh, that’s okay.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Route 22

Tim, Mareep, and Professor Oak were sitting quietly in a patch of green grass, keeping any noises or movements to a minimum.

“Can you explain why we are on Route 22 again, for the sake of the readers?” Timothy asked Professor Oak.

“Yes. You see, readers, the next gym is in Pewter City. Pewter City is home to Brock, who is an expert of the rock type Pokemon. Tim’s Mareep will not be able to affect rock types at all, so we are out here, trying to capture a Mankey. Mankey is a fighting Pokemon, and fighting is strong against rock.” Professor Oak then took out his murse.

“You still have that pocketbook?” asked Tim.

“It’s a murse!” shouted Professor Oak. From his murse, he removed an Ultraball. “Since Mankeys on Route 22 are generally weak, an Ultraball will have a high chance of catching one.” The professor handed the ball to Tim.

“Look! A Mankey!” Tim excitedly whispered. Mankey was a creature with a round body, a snout for a nose, and a light brown tail. “Mareep, tackle it!” Mareep ran at Mankey, and before it could react, Mankey was on the ground. “Okay Mareep, thundershock!” From Mareep’s fluffy coat came a charge of electricity that shocked Mankey. Tim threw the Ultraball at Mankey. It shook once, twice, then three times. Tim had captured a Pokemon.

~~~~~~~~~~

Viridian Forest

Tim and Professor Oak were now traveling through the Viridian Forest. Trees surrounded them, causing no light to be able to penetrate through, which contributed to the eerie atmosphere. Strangely, there was a lack of trainers in the Viridian Forest.

“Where is everyone?” asked Tim. “Isn’t the Viridian Forest usually filled with bug catchers looking for a fight?”

“Yes, it usually is. Something is not right.” Tim and Professor Oak then found it unusual when they did not hear the crunch of the leaves when they took a step. They looked down, and beneath them laid a body of a bug catcher. “What should we do?” asked a worried Professor Oak.

“Check his pockets for money!” Tim suggested.

“Good idea!” said Oak. He pulled out the boy’s pockets and noticed a murse.

“What?” exclaimed Tim. “Another man purse?”

“Don’t you know they’re all the rage?” Oak said as he tossed things out of the murse. However, a news clipping caught his eye. “Look at this. ‘Deranged Beedrill Flying Around Viridian Forest. It has been noted by many bug catchers that a wild Beedrill has been flying around the forest lately. It is suggested that people travel around the forest, not through it.’” Professor Oak checked the body of the boy, and found many Beedrill stings. “Oh no, we better run out of here!”

“Hold it!” yelled a voice, and from behind a tree a bug catcher came out. “My name is Harry. What are you doing with that murse?”

“We aren’t checking it for money!” a paranoid Oak said.

“Good,” said Harry, and he snatched the murse out of the professor’s hands. He emptied the murse’s contents into a murse of his own.

“See, I’m telling you, everyone has a murse.”

“Silence, old one!” shouted Harry. He looked at Tim. “Tell me, boy. Are you a Pokemon trainer?”

“Yes, I am,” answered Tim.

“Good. Then let’s have a battle!”

“No, me and the professor really need to leave. That Beedrill might come at us at any minute.”

Harry groaned. “First off, you say ‘the professor and I’ not ‘me and the professor.’ I hate improper grammar. Secondly, my Pokemon will keep you safe. That Beedrill fears my bugs!”

“Fine! Let’s battle!”

*************************************
Pokemon Trainer Tim vs. Bug Catcher Harry
*************************************

“Mankey, go!”

“Go, Caterpie!” Harry sent out Caterpie, a green bug Pokemon with yellow markings around its eyes.

“Mankey, use a karate chop!” Mankey ran at the Caterpie with its fingers glued together, and then chopped at it, sending the Caterpie into a tree and causing it to faint.

“Huh? How was a fighting type attack able to take down my Caterpie?” Harry wondered.

“Because my Mankey is just stronger than your Caterpie.”

“Okay then. Metapod, go!” Metapod, a green cocoon Pokemon, appeared on the field. “Metapod, harden!” Metapod briefly shined, but then became green once again.

“Okay… what a waste of a turn. Mankey, karate chop!” Mankey chopped at Metapod, but the harden attack made Metapod rock solid, causing Mankey to just hurt itself and faint.

“Aw man! You fainted my Mankey! Mareep, go!” Tim threw a Pokeball, and Mareep came out. “Mareep, thundershock!” Mareep sent out an electrical charge, burning Metapod to a brown crisp.

“Dammit! I can’t believe you did that to my poor Metapod. But I might as well move on. Go Butterfree!” Butterfree, a purple bug with wings, red eyes, and antennae, came out.

“Mareep, another thundershock!” Mareep shocked Butterfree, bringing it down to the ground. It still did not faint, though.

“Butterfree, show him what we can do! Confusion!” With some sort of psychic force, Butterfree lifted Mareep up into the air, and then brought it down at an incredible force. Luckily, Mareep still survived the attack.

“Mareep, finish this! Thundershock!” Mareep sent one last shock at Butterfree. Electrical charges went down its body, causing it to faint.

*************************************

“No, you fool!” Harry shouted. “Look at what you did!”

“I won! So?”

“Now the Beedrill will attack us! My Pokemon were the only barriers blocking it from coming out!” Already, Tim, Professor Oak, and Harry could hear a faint buzzing noise.

“Run!” shouted Oak. The three began to run toward the exit of the Viridian Forest, but it was too late. The Beedrill, a bug with yellow and black stripes, four wings, and two drills attached to its arms, appeared in front of them.

The Beedrill flew at Harry and stung him, causing him to drop to the ground. “Go on without me,” Harry whispered, but Tim refused to leave him behind.

“Mareep, thundershock!” Tim shouted, and Mareep sent a blast of electricity at Beedrill. While this was happening, Professor Oak was rummaging through his murse and took out an Ultraball.

“Take this!” Oak threw the ball to Tim right before he was stung.

“Mareep, thundershock!” Mareep used the attack once again, clipping the Beedrill’s wing. It dropped to the ground, having difficulty flying. Tim tossed the Ultraball at the Beedrill. It shook once. It shook twice. It shook for a third time. Beedrill was captured. Tim picked up the Ultraball, wondering what he should do all alone in the Viridian Forest.

End of Chapter 2

 

[Russian May]

Nice! Really funny and intriguing! Can't wait for next chapter!

 

[Neko Godot]

Chapter 3: Solid As a Brock

Pewter City

Timothy walked into the Pewter City gym, with both Harry and Professor Oak piled onto his shoulders. As soon as he walked past the sliding doors, he collapsed.

Brock’s apprentice, a younger boy, saw Tim fall. “Oh boy! It’s going to take us light-years to make this kid and his pals feel better.”

Brock, who had spiky brown hair and squinty eyes, came to look at the three fallen people. “How many times do I have to tell you light-years measure distance, not time?” Brock asked his apprentice.

“Sorry. But anyway, what should we do with these three? Check their murses for money?”

“No, we should leave them here. I bet you the two younger ones came for a gym battle. As for the older one, he may be a stalker of some sort,” said Brock.

Tim began to wake up. “Am I at the Pewter gym?” he asked.

“Yes you are. My name is Brock,” said Brock. “I’m the gym leader of this gym.”

“Then I challenge you,” said Tim.

“No, no. You need rest. You nearly fainted.” From the sliding doors entered a girl. She had long brown hair, a red skirt, a blue shirt, and a white hat. When Brock saw her, a love struck expression appeared on his face. “Hillary!” he shouted.

The girl, Hillary, walked to Brock. “Is it hot in here, or is it just you?” Brock asked Hillary.

“Didn’t we go over this last time, Brock? I don’t love you.”

Brock ignored Hillary and continued. “Did it hurt when you were dropped from heaven?”

“Brock, I’m so much younger than you. It just wouldn’t work out,” Hillary told Brock.

“Was your dad an alien? Because you are out of this world!”

“Brock!” shouted Hillary. “That’s enough! I came here for a gym battle, not to flirt with you!”

“Gym battle?” asked Brock. “But didn’t you get all the badges a long time ago?”

“Yes,” answered Hillary. “I need practice, though. You see, I’m going to enter the tournament again, so I can finally take Ash’s position of champion away from him.”

“Oh, then let’s have a battle now!”

***********************************
Pokemon Trainer Hillary vs. Leader Brock
***********************************

“Go Geodude!” Brock threw a Pokeball, and out came Geodude, a little rock with arms.

“Venasaur, come out!” Hillary chose Venasaur, a large, green monster with a flower on its back.

“Venasaur, razor leaf!” commanded Hillary. From its back, Venasaur sent hundreds of leaves at Geodude, sent at high speed. Geodude could not take the assault. It fainted.

“No, not my Geodude! Onix, go!” Brock sent out the rock serpent, Onix. “Onix, dig!” Onix jumped into the air, and fell face first. Instead of hurting itself, it took advantage of its descent by digging a tunnel beneath the floor.

“Venasaur, solar beam!” The flower on Venasaur’s back began to glow, but besides that, nothing happened. Now Onix had shown its face, and the next moment it had hopped out of its tunnel, charging right at Venasaur. “Now Venasaur!” Hillary shouted, and from Venasaur’s flower, a beam of sunlight was shot at Onix. Onix’s first layer of skin crumbled as it fell on the floor, defeated.

***********************************

“Well, that was an easy battle,” said Hillary. “Waste of my time. If I want to defeat Ash, I’m going to need to battle stronger people than you.” Hillary pointed at Brock.

“Me? I’m weak?” Brock asked Hillary.

“Yes, you are. You use the same Pokemon over and over again. You never let them evolve. Just because you’re the first gym doesn’t mean you have to make it easy for people.”

“You’re right,” said Brock. He released Geodude from its Pokeball, and removed an Everstone from its rocky skin. Soon the Geodude began to glow, as the process of evolution began. Now, in Geodude’s place, was a Graveler, which had longer arms and a more chipped rocky skin.

“Now you might stand a chance against challengers,” said Hillary. “In fact, let’s see. Battle this boy.” She pointed at Tim.

“Fine,” said Tim. “I’ll battle, and I’ll win!”

********************************
Pokemon Trainer Tim vs. Leader Brock
********************************

“I will battle with Graveler. Who do you chose?”

“Mankey, get out there and show Brock that he can’t win!” Mankey appeared on the field, ready to battle.

“Graveler, earthquake!” Graveler shook the ground, causing Mankey to trip and fall. “Good, Graveler! Now use rock throw!” Graveler picked up rocks from the gyms rocky surface and threw them at Mankey. The agile Mankey was able to avoid them.

“Mankey, low kick!” Mankey ran at Graveler then slid on the ground, feet first. When it was below Graveler, it jumped up and kicked its bottom. The impact of the attack sent Graveler into the ceiling and Mankey on the floor.

“Graveler, rock throw again!” Graveler took the piece of rocky ceiling it was stuck to, causing Graveler to fall. It threw the piece of rock at Mankey, who was directly below it. Mankey, who could not move, faced the brunt of the attack. “Tackle!” Graveler charged at limp Mankey, sending it up in the air. Mankey recovered and grabbed a piece of rock on the wall with its tail.

“You think you’re safe up there?” shouted Brock. “Well guess what, you aren’t! Graveler, earthquake!” Graveler shook the ground. The rock Mankey was holding onto detached from the wall, causing Mankey to fall.

“Mankey, fall on Graveler and use a karate chop!” Mankey pushed itself more towards Graveler, and fell right on top of its head. Mankey then used a karate chop and then back flipped off Graveler as it writhed in pain.

“Good, it’s getting weaker!”

“Not so fast!” shouted Brock. “I refuse to give up the badge. If I’m going down, I’m bringing you down with you! Graveler, self destruct!” Graveler began glowing.

“Oh no! Mankey, we have to make it faint now before it blows up. Use a low kick!” Mankey charged at the Graveler as it glowed brighter, and kicked it into the wall. As soon as it hit the wall, the Graveler blew up, far away from Mankey.

“So what? You felled my Graveler. Big deal. I still got Onix.” Brock threw a Pokeball and out came Onix.

Hillary shouted from the sidelines. “Hey you two! Did I mention whoever wins this battle gets a kiss from me?”

Brock became hypnotized. “Kiss… can’t lose… must have kiss…”

Tim took advantage of this time. “Mankey, karate chop!” Onix, who had no orders, was defenseless as Mankey chopped it.

“You fool!” Hillary shouted at Brock. “You were supposed to fight stronger because I told you I’d give you a kiss if you won, not go all goo-goo-gaa-gaa over me!”

“Goo-goo-gaa-gaa…” said Brock.

“Mankey, finish this! Use low kick!” Mankey slid on the floor, and jumped up when it neared Onix. It kicked Onix, then pushed off, sending Onix to the ground, fainted.

“No kiss…” said a heartbroken Brock.

********************************

Hillary approached Tim. “Well kid, you won. I honestly didn’t think you could do it. You proved me wrong. So here.” Hillary kissed Tim right on the lips. She tried to let go, but Tim refused. He was enjoying it too much. And now that she thought about it, Hillary was, too. Soon, the two began hugging and rubbing each other, until a recently recovered Professor Oak yelled at them.

“Stop it now! Tim, your mom told me that as long as I watched over you, there would be no kissing. So stop!” Tim and Hillary stopped their lip locking. Hillary, upset, turned around and left the gym.

“Now Brock,” said Tim, “I’m not finished with you yet. I want my badge!”

“Hold on a sec’,” said Brock. He took out a murse and shuffled through his belongings until he found a badge. “This is a Boulder Badge. It’s a token of how you blah, blah blah! Now leave! You stole my kiss! Scram!”

~~~~~~~~~~

Mt. Moon

Timothy and Professor Oak left Harry at Pewter City and headed towards Cerulean City. However, the only way to get there was to go through Mt. Moon. Tim and Oak were in there, hoping to get out fast.

“So, can you believe it?” asked Oak.

“Believe what?”

“That the name of the chapter was ‘Solid As a Brock.’ That’s bad writing there. What a horrible pun!”

“We really need a new writ…” began Tim, but he was cut off by a rumbling sound. “What was that?” Tim asked.

“I didn’t fart, if that’s what you meant!” said a paranoid Oak.

“No I heard…” and then Tim and Oak saw it. Ten machines were lined up in a row, drilling into the mountain. Attached to the machines were cranes, which were harvesting…

“Moon stones!” shouted Professor Oak. “Look at all of those moon stones!” As the two walked into this section of the cave, they noticed the people commanding the machines were wearing black outfits with a red R on them.

“Team Rocket? Why would they be here? I thought they disbanded,” Professor Oak said to himself.

In the center of the chamber stood a girl, not that much older than Tim. She was wearing a tight black dress and black heels. She had long black hair that fell down to her waist. “Hurry up, you grunts!” she shouted at the Team Rocket members.

“Hey you!” Professor Oak shouted at the girl. “Why are you here?”

“Well, you old fart, I’m here to help these fools harvest moon stones.”

“So you work for Team Rocket?” asked Professor Oak.

“No,” she answered. “They work for me.”

“And who do you work for?”

“That’s none of your business! Now go away!”

“No,” said Oak. “I challenge you to a battle. If you win, I’ll go away, but if I win, you’ll go away.”

“Then let’s battle!”

*********************
Professor Oak vs. Eon ???
*********************

“Go Umbreon!” The girl sent out Umbreon, a beast with a black coat with glowing yellow symbols on it.

Oak took a Pokeball out of his murse. “Go Dragonite!” The orange dragon appeared.

“Umbreon, crunch!” Umbreon ran at Dragonite and took a bite out of Dragonite.

“You may have took a bite out of Dragonite, but I’m going to take a bite out of crime! You know harvesting moon stones is illegal!” yelled the professor.

“Why don’t we just call the authorities?” Tim suggested.

Ignoring Tim, Oak commanded Dragonite to use a hyper beam. It did a loop in the air and then sent a white beam at Umbreon. Umbreon was blasted into one of the machines, causing it to topple over. The toppled over machine hit another machine, causing that one to topple over. The chain continued, and soon all of the machines, along with Umbreon, were on the ground, useless.

*********************

The girl grunted. “Oh well, we still got enough moon stones needed for our upcoming project. The master will be pleased with our accomplishments.” She turned to face the Rocket grunts. “C’mon, we’re blasting off!” All of the Rockets ran out of the cave.

“What exactly was going on?” asked Tim.

“I don’t know,” said Professor Oak. “Harvesting so many moon stones is strange. Even if you had a lot of Pokemon that could evolve by moon stone, you wouldn’t need that many.”

“So why did they do it?” asked Tim.

“I don’t know Tim. I don’t know.”

End of Chapter 3

 

[Bay]

Hey may lover! I liked this fic, quite funny. Hehe, the man purse, or "murse" parts in this story are funnny! Now I want a murse! Liked the way you incorporate some of the things that are put in bad fics, like bad titles for chapters and moving the plot, liked this example:

“Can you explain why we are on Route 22 again, for the sake of the readers?” Timothy asked Professor Oak.

“Yes. You see, readers, the next gym is in Pewter City. Pewter City is home to Brock, who is an expert of the rock type Pokemon. Tim’s Mareep will not be able to affect rock types at all, so we are out here, trying to capture a Mankey. Mankey is a fighting Pokemon, and fighting is strong against rock.” Professor Oak then took out his murse.

I did, however, found a few mistakes in this story.

“Run!” shouted Oak. The three began to run toward the exit of the Viridian Forest, but it was too late, the Beedrill, a bug with yellow and black stripes, four wings, and two drills attached to its arms, appeared in front of them.

That sentence seems to be a run on. Probably write it like this: “Run!” shouted Oak. The three began to run toward the exit of the Viridian Forest, but it was too late- the Beedrill, a bug with yellow and black stripes, four wings, and two drills attached to its arms, appeared in front of them." Or, instead of a dash I put eariler, you can just put a period there. Your call.

“You’re right,” said Brock. He released Geodude from its Pokeball, and removed an Everstone from its rocky skin. Soon the Geodude began to glow, as the process of evolution began. Now, in Geodude’s place, was ma Graveler, which had longer arms and a more chipped rocky skin.

I think the bolded part is a typo. Change it to "a".

“Stop it now! Tim, your mom told me that as long as I watched over you, there would be now kissing. So stop!” Tim and Hillary stopped their lip locking. Hillary, upset, turned around and left the gym.

Bolded part supposed to be "no".

Well, good luck on the next chapter!

;134;~Good night, and good luck~

 

[Neko Godot]

Fixed mistakes.
Well, the next two chapters should be up tommorow. Here are the titles.
Chapter 4: I Can't See In the Misty
Chapter 5: Now You Know

 

[Yami Ryu]

:/ the third chapter had a few points where .. it was a bit funny but overall this is still flat and bland and well. With how you have it structured I feel like you're writing this in the reply box. And Mankey felt powerplayed imo. Sure it's fighting type, but Onix and Graveler are made of rock and I doubt a prevo could so easily wipe the floor, or ceiling with them. As well, I remember Onix taking on a Tyranitar. And Onix didn't really take any orders from Brock, so .. you make the pokemon feel/come off as Pokebots. Mindless little creatures that well. Suck.

Meh my first review for your first chapter still fits. Maybe you should spend more time writing it and less time trying to rush out so many chapters at once.

 

[Neko Godot]

:/ the third chapter had a few points where .. it was a bit funny but overall this is still flat and bland and well. With how you have it structured I feel like you're writing this in the reply box. And Mankey felt powerplayed imo. Sure it's fighting type, but Onix and Graveler are made of rock and I doubt a prevo could so easily wipe the floor, or ceiling with them. As well, I remember Onix taking on a Tyranitar. And Onix didn't really take any orders from Brock, so .. you make the pokemon feel/come off as Pokebots. Mindless little creatures that well. Suck.

Meh my first review for your first chapter still fits. Maybe you should spend more time writing it and less time trying to rush out so many chapters at once.

Well, I'm not writing this in the reply box. Trust me, I've seen fics that were written in the reply box. What I don't understand is that if you think this sucks, why do you continue to read it? Oh, and yes, Mankey was uber. But so is May's Squirtle.

 

[The Great Butler]

I love this just because it's so silly. PROF. OAK HAS A MAN PURSE, for cryin' out loud.

I particularly liked the ridiculously 00ber Mankey, Prof. Oak's exchange with Gary, and the liplock scene in Pewter Gym.

 

[~*Nobody*~]

What is up with you and these Man Purses? ITS CREEPING ME OUT! And this is really making me laugh... Well the chapter names are and the chapters so a good thumbs up!

 

[Neko Godot]

Chapter 4: I Can’t See In the Misty

Cerulean City

“Here we are. The Cerulean gym,” said Tim.

“Ah, yes. I personally know the gym leader. Her name is Misty. Very charming and nice, you’ll like her.” Professor Oak and Tim entered the gym. Inside was a humongous pool.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING TRACKING MUD ON MY NEW FLOOR?” Oak and Tim nearly fell over when a red haired girl with a side ponytail yelled at them. She was wearing a red bikini. “I JUST GOT THIS FLOOR CLEANED!”

“Misty, is that you?” asked Oak,

“Oh, it’s just you, Professor,” said Misty. “I was worried that someone wanted to get dirt on my floor.” An assistant brought over a coat on a wire hanger for Misty to wear. “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?” she yelled at him. “NO WIRE HANGERS! NO WIRE HANGERS! EVER!” She pushed the assistant into the pool.

“Don’t you think you’re being too mean to your assistants?” asked the professor.

“I’m a gym leader. I deserve the best.” Misty looked at Tim. “Who’s this boy?”

“I’m Tim. I came to challenge you to a gym battle.”

“Oh, really! How cute! The boy thinks he can win!”

“Hey, I beat Brock!”

“Brock’s a moron. He has no idea what he’s doing.” An assistant came over to Misty with chocolate frosted donuts. “YOU FOOL! I WANTED VANILLA FROSTED DONUTS!” Misty then pushed the assistant into the pool. She turned to Tim. “Anyway, if you want to challenge me, fine. But prepare to lose!”

“Okay! Let’s begin our…” An explosion interrupted Tim. Down from the hole made in the ceiling came a hot air balloon shaped like a Meowth.

“YOU IMBECILES! MY CEILING! MY CEILING! NO NO NO NO NO! HOW COULD YOU?”

From the balloon came a woman with long red hair that curled at the bottom, a man with shoulder length blue hair, and a Meowth, a feline Pokemon. Both people were wearing white Team Rocket uniforms. They began to speak.

“Prepare for trouble!”

“And make it…”

“WILL YOU TWO SHUT THE HELL UP? CAN’T YOU SEE YOU DESTROYED THE ROOF? YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT!” yelled Misty.

“Well, you know, er… sorry?” said the woman.

“SORRY ISN’T GOING TO CUT IT, JESSIE!”

The man looked at Tim. “Who’s this twerp?”

“Well James, that is Tim. We were going to have a battle, but you came in at the worst possible time and ruined it,” said Misty.

“Oh, a Pokemon trainer. Let’s steal his Pokemon!” said Jessie.

“Shut up you two! I challenge you to a Pokemon battle!”

“Tim, you don’t want to do that,” suggested Misty. “At first they were weak, but they have been promoted to admin status. You’ll lose.”

“Shut up, twerp! Let the boy battle if he wants to.” James looked at Tim. “Let’s begin!”

************************************************
Pokemon Trainer Tim vs. Rocket Admins Jessie and James
************************************************

“Go, Mankey and Beedrill!” Tim threw two Pokeballs.

“Go Wobbuffet!” Jessie sent out a tall blue Pokemon with a short black tail.

“Meowth, go out there!” shouted James.

“But I don’t wanna battle!” whined Meowth.

“Too bad!”

“Beedrill, fury attack Wobbuffet!” Beedrill went flying towards Wobbuffet, then used its large drills to sting the Wobbuffet.

“Wobbuffet, counter!” Wobbuffet sent a blast of energy towards Beedrill, knocking it out.

“What was that?” exclaimed Tim.

“Counter deals back double the damage the opponent dealt. Useful, isn’t it?”

“For you it is! Mankey, karate chop Meowth!” Mankey ran at Meowth. Meowth, scared, ran away and hopped on James’s face. James and Meowth screamed in pain as Mankey karate chopped them both, knocking Meowth out.

“Meowth, you’re useless! Jessie, finish this up!”

“I can’t! Wobbuffet can’t attack until Mankey does!”

“Then I won’t attack!” said Tim.

“Damn, we’ve reached a stalemate!” Jessie cursed. “Retreat!” Jessie, James, and Meowth ran back into their balloon as it floated up through the hole in the roof and into the sky.

************************************************

Misty looked at the hole in the roof. “I was being serious. They are going to pay for that.”

“Our battle?”

“Fine. Let’s begin.”

*********************************
Pokemon Trainer Tim vs. Leader Misty
*********************************

“Go Mankey!”

“Staryu, go!” Misty sent out Staryu, a brown star Pokemon with a jewel in its center.

“Mankey, karate chop!” Mankey ran up to Staryu and chopped it.

“Staryu, hide under the water!” The Staryu jumped up and hid under the water. “I hope your Mankey doesn’t know how to swim.”

“It doesn’t have to! Mankey, karate chop the water!” Mankey followed the command and sent a strong current towards Staryu. Staryu crashed against the pool’s wall. It had fainted.

“Oh well. Starmie, go!” Misty sent out Starmie, a purple star Pokemon with a jewel in its center and two layers of stars. “Starmie, psychic!” With its mind, Starmie sent Mankey up through the hole in the roof and then brought it back down at an incredible speed. It crashed on the floor, fainted.

“Mareep, go! Use thundershock!” Mareep sent a wave a thunder at Starmie, but with its speed, was able to avoid it.

“Starmie, use hydro pump! Push it into the pool!” Starmie sent a jet of water at Mareep, sending it back flipping into the pool. “Good, now tackle and drown it!” Starmie pushed Mareep farther and farther underwater.

“Mareep, thundershock!” Mareep sent out electricity. Starmie swam away, but their was no escape. The attack electrified the whole pool, and by the end, Starmie fainted.

*********************************

“Well kid, you did well.” Misty went up to Tim and shook his hand. “I haven’t had a battle like that in a long time. Here is your Cascade Badge, proof that you beat me. Good luck with the rest of your journey.”

Tim took the cascade badge. “Thank you!”

~~~~~~~~~~

Route 25

“Here we are at Bill’s Sea Cottage. After this, I’m afraid I must leave you,” Professor Oak told Timothy.

The two entered the house, but were surprised when no one greeted them. “Bill, where are you?” Oak spotted a body, lying on the ground. “Oh no, it’s Bill. What should we do, steal his murse?” Oak asked worried.

“You will do no such thing.” A man appeared. He was wearing a black tuxedo with a small red R on the side. The man was also carrying a murse. “I’ve already taken his murse, along with his research on Eevee.”

“I know you,” said Professor Oak. “You used to be the boss of Team Rocket. You’re Giovanni.”

“Used to be?” said Giovanni. “I still am.”

“But that girl at Mt. Moon said she was the boss.”

“Luna? She’s foolish. She has no idea what she is talking about. I mean sure, she does help, but I still hold the title of boss.”

“So, why do you need Bill’s Eevee research?” asked Professor Oak.

“For the same reason we need large amounts of evolution stones. Now if you excuse me, I must be leaving.” Tim and Oak attempted to block Giovanni’s path, but he simply pushed him out of the way.

“Now what do we do?” asked Tim. “Team Rocket is back. We have to stop them.”

“Yes, we do. That is why it’s important for me to go back to Pallet Town. I fear that they may want some of my research also. But, before I leave you…” Professor Oak paused and took out his murse from his pocket “… I want you to have my murse. I’m passing the torch, or in this case man purse, to you.”

“Oh, well, I don’t know what to say?” Tim said, confused.

“You must like it that much. Now this is when we part. See you later, Tim.” Oak left the Sea Cottage.

Tim looked at the figure of Bill lying on the ground. Tim was going to need a new traveling partner. He threw the murse in the garbage and then proceeded to wake Bill up.

End of Chapter 4

 

[Bay]

Hehe, liked this chapter. I liked the way you put Misty as very bossy. So her!

I did find one mistake though:

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TRACKING MUD ON MY NEW FLOOR?” Oak and Tim nearly fell over when a red haired girl with a side ponytail wearing a red bikini yelled at them. “I JUST GOT THIS FLOOR CLEANED!”

I don't know, but this sentence seemed to be a run on sentence to me, probably because you packed a lot of desciption all at once in one sentence. Maybe you could write like this: "...Oak and Time nearly fell over when a red haired, side ponytail girl wearing a red bikini yelled at them..."

Good luck on the next chapter!

;134;~Good night, and good luck~

 

[~*Nobody*~]

ACK! I can't see it's so Misty! Now that cracked me up! And so did team rocket. Brock is a moron isn't he? Well with all the going girl crazy he sure can be!

 

[Byakugan Tenten]

lol XD Murse! LOL

Anyhoo, I loved the chapters, they were hilarious and I can see Misty saying...sort of...no..wait, yeah. I can't wait until the next chappie!

Good Luck!

~ IM ~

 

[~*Nobody*~]

*Still laughing really hard* Can't wait also! Hard as a brock thats funny!

 

[Dimentio]

I like this. Action with comedy mixed into one story. I think I'll read more, if I have any time to.

~fuzzy out~

 

[Mawile XD]

*dies laughing*

This fic is a barrel of laughs. Murse!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh man, this is hystarical. And Jessie and James were hilarious. Great job. The only problems have already been stated, so bye.