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To Die Tonight... (Naruto fic, PG-13/T)

Discussion in 'Non-Pokémon Stories' started by GoGoTenda, Mar 17, 2006.

  1. GoGoTenda

    GoGoTenda I Eat Zapdos' Eggs

    Alright, people of serebii. This is my fic set in the Naruto universe, 100 years after the beginning of the manga and anime series. In case you believe the title is lame....well, yeah, it is. But (!), it is lameness with a reason, as the main character's name means roughly the same thing, albeit in horribly mangled japanese grammar. For now, please enjoy the open prologue and comment/criticize as you fell necessary.


    “A hundred years ago, there was a demon known as the Kyuubi; a massive and extremely powerful fox bearing nine tails. It was a cruel and vicious thing with no true motives other than that to destroy. The beast ravaged the land and killed the people who dared to stand in its way. That was, until, someone managed to defeat it.

    A man known as the Fourth Hokage, leader of Konoha, the Leaf Village, rose up to defend his kin. The Kyuubi attempted to strike him down, not aware of what the Hokage had in store for him. At the cost of his own life, the Hokage used his own, special technique to seal Kyuubi inside a newborn, though orphaned, baby from the village. He hoped that the child would be viewed as a savior, but instead he was seen as a monster.

    The child was hated and shunned by the rest of the villagers, who had sworn to never tell him or the other children of what had happened. For twelve lonely years, the child yearned for acceptance and acknowledgment from the villagers until he finally received it from his teacher. This started him down a long and difficult path, the telling of which could fill shelves of books. When his arduous journey was over, however, this boy found himself as the Sixth Hokage, Rokudaime.

    Under his leadership, Konoha, the village which now hailed him as a hero, prospered. It flourished in technology and art; it expanded in size and power; and it basked in wealth and fame. All was not well amongst the other villages, and the Sixth received word that Konoha’s Golden Age was the object of envy for more hard-pressed villages. Konoha found itself in a sea of enemies who lusted after its success. Fearing an attack, the Sixth sent a messenger to Konoha’s sole ally, the Sand Village, to request help in case something happened. The messenger’s remains were found many years later, hidden by the ambush party that killed him.

    With little warning, Konoha was attacked on all sides. The massive gates set in the stone wall surrounding the city were destroyed, and wave upon wave of Konoha’s foes poured in. Konoha was renowned for its skilled warriors, the ninja, but they fell to the sheer numbers that faced them. They were killed indiscriminately, with no mercy shown to even the youngest soldier. After a week of watching his people die, the Sixth was forced to take drastic action. The village was ordered to be evacuated as the Sixth broke the seal placed on the Kyuubi.

    He was flooded with the Kyuubi’s strength, but unable to control the power himself. Kyuubi used the Sixth as a puppet, keeping him alive while laying waste to everything in Konoha, friend or foe. The enemy armies were powerless to stop him; they fled for their lives, but most were caught and killed. When the village had been purged of every beating heart, Kyuubi managed to escape from its former host and disappeared into the wilderness. The Sixth was the only living thing left among the piles of bodies which lined the streets of Konoha. But he would not be alive for long, for the Kyuubi’s control had left him broken and dying.

    The villagers left they’re hiding place to find Konoha a destroyed city and their leader barely breathing. He was made comfortable for a few minutes leading up to his last breath. The villagers grieved for their lost hero, and his death is considered the blackest day in Konoha history. It was the end of the war against Konoha and the beginning of a long period of healing.

    Konoha was gradually built back up under the leadership of the Seventh Hokage. It was not nearly as grand as the Golden Age, but there was much more planning behind this new Konoha. The wall was rebuilt, expanded, and fortified. Hospitals and medical stations sprang up like weeds. Konoha’s sole school was renovated and tripled in size. It was the school which was subject to the most drastic changes.

    In the short but brutal war, the average age to become a first rank soldier, a genin, was twelve. Mere children fought to protect their village, but they were easily cut down by more experienced enemy troops. The villagers refused to lose their children again, and the minimum age was raised to the age of fifteen. This lengthened the time that ninja-in-training were in school, making each individual student much more versed in the ways of combat before being able to graduate.

    The war had also faced Konoha with a shortage on high-level ninja, jounin, to teach the traditional groups of three genin. The Seventh ordered jounin teachers to take on larger groups of students in order to work around the shortage. Genin were still grouped into threes, but rather than always taking a jounin with them, they were now often working with other cells of three to complete missions, tasks requested by the non-ninja villagers not only in Konoha but throughout the country. This system freed up jounin to take on more difficult (and more lucrative) missions while still managing to educate genin, albeit on sometimes awkward schedules.

    It was many years after that Konoha was officially back on its feet. The Seventh continued to organize the rebuilding while simultaneously attempting to bridge gaps between Konoha and the enemies whom had attacked it. Eventually, alliances were loosely formed between Konoha and the Grass, Rain, and Cloud villages while the Stone and Mist villages remained enemies. With the villages resolving their differences and many apologies by all involved, trade was able to start again and interaction between the villages slowly began. While the Sixth has become known as Konoha’s Hero, the Seventh has become the Peacemaker due to the establishment of relative peace between the villages.

    One year ago, the Seventh passed away after a sixty five year reign as Hokage. The new, Eight Hokage has recently assumed command, and it is yet to be seen what type of leader he will prove himself to be…”

    A loud, drawn out yawn filled the dark and cool room. The shades had been drawn, leaving the only light coming from a flickering candle in a bronze holder, which was placed on the corner of a desk. Sitting at the desk in a wooden chair was a boy, mouth slowly closing after the yawn. The candle light reflected off his peach skin, tinting it orange from the fire.

    In front of the boy and on the desk was a large book, a few inches thick and with huge pages. It was opened to one of the last page of a section which he had been assigned to read for class. The top of the page had a header reading “A History of Konoha – Summary of the Sixth Through Eighth Hokages”. Yawning again, the boy lifted the back cover of the book and turned it over, hiding the text from view. He pushed his chair out, gently grabbed the candleholder, and shuffled across the dim room to a bed.

    After placing the candle on a bedside table, he pulled back the sheets and sat on the edge of the bed. He blew out the candle and plunged the room into darkness. The boy crawled under the covers and drew them up to his chin. His eyes closed as he spoke a soft prayer for sleep, ending in the barely audible “…and let my test go well tomorrow.” Slowly, he drifted off and into unconsciousness.
  2. Spiffy! A bit heavy on the prolouge, but very nice.

    I needed this. I've been reading Non-fiction all week.

    Anyway, update again soon!

    *sets up camp and looks for the consesions*
  3. xXSaberXx

    xXSaberXx xxxXsightless


    x3 Little different than I expected. Poor Naruto. *mourns* THOUGH HELL. I didn't really like him ANYWAY. x3


    And please, let some coolio nin charies appear too. D: *I know they will*

    HUGS LUFFS YAY. No mistakes. D: I think. It was just a nice prolouge.

    *joins Byzantium* x33333
  4. GoGoTenda

    GoGoTenda I Eat Zapdos' Eggs

    Oh wow....I have fans. I have fans. I must have slipped into the twilight zone or something. Regardless, the fact that people enjoy it urges me to post the next section! And because I am terribly impulsive...that's just what I'll do.

    Yes, Saber. Coolio nins will appear, most likely by the basketfull. In fact, lets get a little introduction to some of those nins in:

    (Warning! This and probably all subsequent chapters will be long [by my standards, which are obviously the best ones]. Substantially longer than a lot of other things up here, while still shorter than a fair few too. Think in the six page word doc per chapter type of sizing. Yeah, that's it.)

    Chapter One: Enter Shinu

    “This is it, the day that I’ll become an official ninja.” A black, shaggy-haired teenager stepped out onto his doorstep and pulled the door shut behind him. He looked up at that the pale sky, thin gray clouds reflecting on the surface of his dull blue irises. A black, short sleeved t-shirt clung to his torso, failing to hide the lightly toned muscles underneath. The edge of the shirt hung over the top of a pair of dark blue jeans. These, in turn, covered the tops of a strange kind of blue sandal which covered everything except the toes and heel. A box about the length of a hand was strapped to his right thigh, the black box forcing the white linen strips that served as straps to catch the eye. The boy turned his gaze from the sky and down to the street before him.

    The street was paved, but it was obvious that he lived on the edge of town. About a hundred or so feet to his left was a thick looking forest which the street led to but then turned into a dirt path at the forest’s edge. Between the forest and himself was an open field on the far side of the street and his home on the close side. He started to walk down the short path from his door to the street, sparing a glance to the small garden filled with various flowers and herbs. A sundial which seemed to dominate over the plants told him that it was nearing 9 o’ clock. “Crap! I thought it was earlier!” The boy turned right onto the street and started running, his feet clicking against the ground as he went.

    About a block later, he started to see signs of other people. Houses began to spring up, simple and small for the typically poor people who lived on the fringe of his home city of Konoha. A few people were out in the expansive fields behind and around their homes; several waved and called out “Good morning, Shinu” to which he replied “You too, (name of neighbor)”. The houses grew steadily closer together and the yards steadily smaller until he found himself in a narrow city street.

    Here, the line between house and shop was blurred. Signs and carts were everywhere, advertising food, supplies, entertainment, anything, everything. There were many people, mostly heading places, but also milling about. Shinu caught snippets of conversations, talking about weather, or the price of apples, or how they’re children were doing at the Academy. The Academy, I have to hurry there. He nearly ran head first into a slow moving cart puller, but he spun around the man as if dancing before continuing to run down the street.

    Up ahead, a brown-haired girl was walking down the three steps between her door and the sidewalk. She looked up and spotted Shinu, lifting her ‘it’s early, I’m tired’ frown into a brilliant smile. “Shinu!” He was too busy to notice and sped past her, causing her dress to swirl and float. She hastily held it close to avoid any possible embarrassment. Her faced returned to a small frown as she watched the boy disappear from sight before walking after him at her own slow pace.

    Shinu kept going until the Academy was in sight. It was a large building, made of a yellow stone of some kind. Part of it was obviously very old, bearing the marks of time through a sort of worn down look and a discoloration when compared to the newer looking compounds which had been built around it. Above each door was a large round emblem bearing Konoha’s signature leaf swirl: it was a spiral design with a two extra lines in the lower left hand corner to make it appear more like a leaf. The symbol itself was black on a red background. Shinu ignored the surroundings for the most part, having seen them almost every day for the last eight years when he started schooling at the age of seven. He slowed to a stop in front of the main door and stood, crouched slightly with his hands on his knees. Beads of sweat were running down his face and along the larger strands of hair that now hung in front of him. Anyone within ten foot would have been able to hear his panting. “I just hope I got here in time.”

    Slowly, he got back up and stretched his left hand out for the door. He gripped it and pulled. Nothing. Puzzled, he pulled again, this time harder. Still nothing. Shinu gritted his teeth and placed both hands on the handle and pulled with all his strength. It didn’t budge. “What is up with the door! Class was supposed to start at least five minutes ago!” Shinu released the door and dropped his clenched fists to his sides, shaking with mild anger.

    “Five minutes ago? According to my watch, class will start in three minutes, not negative five.” Shinu bristled slightly at the coldly mocking voice. It was male, sounding quite mature while still managing to be young. Shinu heard the jingle of keys before the voice spoke again. “Now, kindly remove yourself so I can unlock the door, Shinu.”

    Shinu moved to the side of the door and let the newcomer by. The other was taller than he was by a few inches, with similar black hair. However, instead of lying messy like Shinu’s, this man had his much shorter hair laying flat and smooth except for the front which was gelled to spike up. A haughty smile was fixed across a slightly pale face as the man looked at Shinu from the side of his deep brown eyes. A black cape completely concealed the rest of his features except his right hand which was putting the key into a lock by where the double doors met. Shinu crossed his arms and made a ‘hmph’ noise. “I still don’t understand why you have keys to the Academy, Kuro.”

    “Because I’m a second year genin entrusted with various responsibilities that include the school. And you should be calling me ‘Kuro-san’ or at least ‘-kun’ since I am, after all, your superior.” Kuro’s smile widened as he withdrew the key and pulled the door open. He walked inside, not bothering to hold the door open for Shinu. Shinu quickly grabbed it though and made it in. He caught up to Kuro and fell into sync next to the older boy.

    “I don’t see any reason to. We’re supposed to be friends, aren’t we? You’re the brother of my friend and we’ve known each other for years. Besides, you get enough respect from Aiji.” Shinu let out a small laugh at mentioning Aiji, while the same reference turned Kuro’s smirk into a frown.

    “Don’t remind me. He has far more of a right to just use my name than you do, but instead he just calls me other things.”

    “Aw, what’s the matter, Kuro? You don’t like it when he calls you ‘Kuro, baby’?” Shinu laughed a little more this time, ignoring Kuro’s furious glare.

    “Of course I don’t. It sounds like he’s talking to his girlfriend when he does that. It bugs the Hell out of me.” Kuro growled and turned down a hallway with Shinu immediately following suit. “Let’s just not talk about that, alright? I was just kidding when I told you to call me ‘-san’.”

    “No, you weren’t, but that’s okay. I just like to make fun of you, and that was a nice, easy target. We both know there’s nothing malicious to it.” Shinu smiled warmly, a gesture which Kuro returned (without the superiority from before). “So, Kuro…” He leaned closer to Kuro while the older of the two leaned down a bit “what, exactly, is going to be on the test?”

    “Shinu, you know I can’t tell you what you’ll be tested on. Besides, it’s all basic stuff anyway. You’ll be fine.” Kuro stood upright again and stopped in front of a door. Shinu pulled to a stop next to him and waited as Kuro retrieved the ring of keys and started to place the correct one in the door handle. The key went in and Kuro stopped. “…it’s already unlocked…”

    “Wait, why would the front door be locked but the classroom left open? That doesn’t make any sense.” Shinu placed his left hand under his chin scratched it gently. His idle right hand began tapping on the box strapped to his leg. “Doesn’t Aiji have keys to the school, too?”

    “Yes, and so does Onkei. The three of us have duties here, so we all have keys…but Onkei wouldn’t have bothered to lock the front door after coming in. Only Aiji would once he realized he got here first, and then it’d just be to delay Onkei and myself while he set up something to annoy us.” Kuro withdrew the key and placed a hand on the handle. He glanced over to Shinu and nodded towards the door. “Expect to be in an illusion as soon as you set foot in the room, okay? Try to break it, but also expect to fail. He’s too far advanced at genjutsu for someone of your level.” Kuro faced the door again and pushed it to the side.

    The door slid open easily, revealing a desk and chair where the teacher would sit. Off to the left were long counters and seats for students to sit on. Each row of seats and counters were elevated higher than the last. Large windows were set in the opposite wall, but the binds were drawn. Only one of the five ceiling lights was on, making the room very dark. Cautiously, Kuro stepped into the room and reached for the light switch which he knew to be on his right. A single finger clicked the switch back and forth, changing nothing. “We’re already in it.” Kuro walked into the room, allowing Shinu to follow behind him.

    Thwunk. The door had slid closed behind them, making Shinu jump in surprise. Instinctually, his right hand went for the box, but Kuro waved his hand to tell him to stop. Kuro sighed, and called out to the darkness. “Do we have to go through this every time I get here later than you?”

    “Of course, baby. Besides, it’s not like I’m going to hurt either of you.” A playful voice answered from all around before laughing lightheartedly. Shinu glanced around the classroom in an attempt to spot the voice’s source, but to no avail. It did, however, draw more giggles from the disembodied voice. “I think I’ll have fun with Shinu-kun first.” Something whooshed through the air and embedded itself into the ground an inch from Shinu’s feet.

    He leapt back and flicked his box open, quickly drawing weapons and throwing them in the direction the other projectile had come from. Three stars of metal launched from his right hand, spinning through the open air and making small ‘thunk’s as they stuck into a wall concealed by darkness. Shinu reached down for what had been thrown at him and recognized it as a kunai knife, long and slender with a kite shaped blade. The handle was wrapped in small strips of cloth and had a loop of metal opposite the blade. He pulled the knife from the floorboards and clutched it in his left hand. “If he wasn’t going to hurt me, why did he bother throwing a real weapon?”

    “Because he likes to play games and he likes to play for stakes.” Kuro had closed his eyes to concentrate on dispelling the darkness. His hands move slowly through various signs, each representing an animal of the zodiac. Something else whooshed through the air and Shinu saw a flash as Kuro spun on his heel quickly. The black cloak had cut through the open space and wrapped around something, the fabric staying fixed in the air in a large bunch. After a second or so, the cloth went limp and another knife dropped to the ground. The brief defensive maneuver had revealed the rest of Kuro’s clothing, which consisted of a loose, black linen shirt and a pair of slightly baggy black pants. A box similar to Shinu’s was strapped to Kuro’s right leg. Around Kuro’s waist was a strip of cloth, dyed a deep navy blue, and with a silver piece of metal fastened to the front. The metal bore an engraved Konoha leaf swirl. The cloak moved of its own accord again, this time to obscure Kuro’s body from view. Shinu’s eyes moved back to Kuro’s hands, which had remained moving throughout the flawless counterattack. Kuro’s eyes flicked open and he pressed his palms together. “Reveal.”

    For a moment, nothing appeared to happen. Kuro’s eyes slowly moved around the room while Shinu’s head turned about wildly in an attempt to see something change. The older boys’ eyes locked on something. Shinu attempted to follow Kuro’s gaze, but saw nothing besides the normal wall of the classroom. The cloak curled around the knife which lay on the ground, and then lifted it up to Kuro’s hand. Kuro took the knife and threw it at the wall, where the point sunk in half an inch. Almost immediately, ink became visible to Shinu. A glyph had been drawn on the wall and the knife had planted itself in the middle of the symbol. The darkness faded, revealing opened curtains and a smiling boy sitting at the teacher’s desk.

    “I was really hoping that that was going to last longer. I guess you’re just too good for these simple ones, huh, baby?” He drew out the last word, pronouncing it ‘baaaby’ in a purely playful way. Kuro glared at the third boy, drawing giggles from his target. Shinu crossed his arms and gave Kuro a sort of slanted smile before speaking.

    “The two of you make such a cute couple. Don’t you think so, Aiji?” Shinu looked over to the seated boy with a smile. Aiji returned the gesture, and then started laughing as Kuro made a ‘hmph’ noise and walked to retrieve the knife from the wall. Aiji’s eyes closed when he laughed as his whole body shook up and down with each breath. Shinu took this time to stand on his toes a bit to see what Aiji had decided to wear today; Aiji rarely wore the same thing twice, and often it was a wild experience just to see.

    Aiji’s slightly unkempt hair was a rich, chestnut brown with streaks of a vibrant red. Or at least, that’s what it was today. Shinu distinctly recalled it being jet black and cobalt blue a few days earlier. He either spends a ton of money on dye…or it’s another illusion. Aiji was wearing a shirt of red fishnet underneath a leather jacket the same brown as his hair. Below the jacket, which was allowed to remain open, was a pair of similarly toned khaki pants. Shinu assumed that Aiji was wearing a pair of black sandals (as usual) designed like his own blue ones. The band of metal bearing Konoha’s symbol was conspicuously absent from Aiji’s outfit. “Aiji, where’s your handband?”

    Aiji stopped laughing frowned slightly. “I didn’t have one in red, so I decided to skip it today.” Shinu’s jaw dropped a bit as Kuro’s blood pressure increased. Aiji looked from awestruck Shinu to quivering-in-frustration Kuro. “…I did something wrong again, didn’t I, baby?”

    “Yes!” Kuro spun quickly, waving the knife he had thrown. “If the teacher, or anyone else for that matter, were to find out that you didn’t have your headband on you somewhere, they’d freak out and possibly accuse you of being a traitor. I’ll get you a spare from the storeroom.” Kuro started to turn when he noticed the light glinting oddly off Aiji’s forehead. Slowly, he leaned forward and extended a finger. Aiji shrunk back into the chair with a trembling smile. Kuro’s finger touched not warm flesh but cool metal. Instantly, Aiji broke his technique and the headband became visible. Red cloth held the symbol in the middle of his forehead, with the ends in a knot at the back of his head. “Does everything you do have to be laced with illusions?”

    “I prefer it that way, yes.” Aiji pushed Kuro’s hand away as the two began to stare each other down. Shinu’s right eyebrow rose as he watched a thousand words pass between the two soundlessly. He looked from Kuro’s hard glare to Aiji’s not-so-innocent blue eyes. The silence was suddenly broken when a tapping noise came from the door followed immediately by a voice. Aiji and Kuro instantly broke their stares to look over to the voice as Shinu leapt five feet into the air.

    “Can someone let me in? I forgot my key.” The voice sounded tired, as if its bearer had only recently woken up. This was further complicated by the rather laid back tone with which he spoke. Kuro looked to Aiji, who didn’t even wait for the question.

    “I locked the door again after you two were in the illusion. I probably should have expected Onkei to show up sans key again. Shinu-kun, would you mind letting him in?” Shinu nodded while regaining his composure. He stepped to the door and turned the simple latch inside the door handle, releasing the deadbolt. The door slid open and Shinu was created with a mess of dirty blonde hair and a pair of pale blue eyes. Shinu stepped back and to the side to let Onkei past.

    Onkei did so, nodding to Shinu as he went by while simultaneously leaving the door wide open. He was roughly Shinu’s height, placing him just under Kuro and a little above Aiji. His eyes seemed pupil-less, a telltale sign of his Hyuuga blood. Hyuuga was a famous clan from Konoha, hailed as one of the most powerful due to their ability to perceive most anything through their eyes. The Hyuuga were also known for white irises and dark hair. Onkei was one of few children with genes from another clan, and was therefore both blessed and cursed to forever stand out among his family. Absolutely no one overlooked a blonde amidst a sea of black hair.

    He wore a shirt made of what looked like canvas, having an off-white color and rough texture. The sleeves probably qualified it as a straight jacket; they were much wider than his arms and continued past his fingertips for easily six inches. His pants were of the same materially and roughly the same size, meaning oversized. Onkei typically explained it as ‘room to grow into’, but Kuro had told Shinu that it was merely to belie his fighting style. Few people would expect to be knocked out by a kid that couldn’t even find clothes that fit. Onkei put his right hand behind his head and smiled embarrassedly. “I missed the trap, I assume?”

    “…no wonder you’ve been late all week.” Kuro growled playfully. Onkei let out a weak laugh and scurried off to the supply closest at the back of the classroom. Shinu looked up at a clock mounted above the doorway and started. He quickly moved to the third row of seats, fifth seat from the aisle. As he sat down, Kuro glanced at the clock. The hour hand was hovering just before 9 while the minute hand had clicked to the last tick before the large 12. “See, Shinu, now everyone else is going to be late.” Kuro moved to the wall with the windows and sat on the windowsill, watching the door. Aiji hurriedly stood up and sat on the seat to Shinu’s right.

    Aiji looked at Kuro from the corner of his eye, and then leaned towards Shinu’s ear. In response, Shinu casually slumped down to bring the ear closer to Aiji’s mouth. “Kuro probably wouldn’t tell you what’s on the test, but I’m much nicer. What’ll you have to do is-“

    “Aiji, whisper another word and you’ll die where you stand.” Kuro was pointing a kunai knife at Aiji with a smile. Having obviously never intended to tell Shinu anything, Aiji stood up and ruffled the younger boy’s hair before walking towards the back of class to help Onkei pull supplies from the closet. Kuro watched Aiji walk away while absentmindedly concealing the knife from wherever he had drawn it. Shinu began nervously strumming his fingers on the tabletop as he waited impatiently for the clock to strike nine and for everyone else to show up.

    Author Comment: This chapter really extends for another 5 or so pages, but I need a break somewhere. The ending is pretty broken-off, but it had to be done to not kill the reader.
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2006
  5. xXSaberXx

    xXSaberXx xxxXsightless

    x3 Tis fine.


    I should get Scrap over here. >.>;;; Either that, or I'm just RETARDED. ROFL.

    Honestly, I really enjoyed that. There was a few weird i's before......WORDS. I suppose that's the formatting though, not an intentional Typo, or anything of the like.

    imy/i watch

    *points to*


    ILLUSION. GENJUTSU. Dude. Onkei is hawt and is mine. D: rawr. AWWWWWW. Why'd you have to break it off? ;.;

    Oh well. I can wait. x3 LUFFS HUGS.

    And Aiji is a smart-a*ss. :33333

    PS. I wanna makes you a banner for this. ;.;
  6. I know the problem in these quotes. You, tried to do inner thinking with Italics but mis-typed the tags. Its [ I ] [ / I ] without the spaces.

    Simple mistake, should be feet.

    I just woke up so I'm a bit to drowsy to give a proper review. Nice chapter... Well written, nice length. Try to update a lttle less often. I can only really handle chapters being posted once a week, But, its your choice.
  7. GoGoTenda

    GoGoTenda I Eat Zapdos' Eggs

    Thanks for pointing out the broken tags. Fanfic.net messed them up, but the original word doc has them. I edited with the .doc version ^^;

    Chapter updates should fall into a weekly schedule, except for spring break starting this Friday where I'll be in China and unable to post. Hopefully, Chapter 2 will be up by then so I can skip the scheduled update.

    Shonen Ai? Where? Or, better, between whom? There are a lot of ways to read into this. Oh, and yes, do get Scrap over here.

    Why is Onkei yous, Saber? And what makes him so hawt? o_O

    Aiji is indeed a smart ***.

    Go ahead a make a banner, Saber. Those kinds of things are always welcome (plus, it's bound to be better than my crappy homemade one *points to sig*). Til the next update, which will be held off til later this week.

  8. Kiyohime

    Kiyohime Well-Known Member


    *Naruto fangirl head splode splatter*

    Saber knows me too well. *hobo smack!* Looks like we'll be setting up camp here. *subscribes to thread* :3

    You're going to China? Wow! D:

    Byzantium makes it easy for the rest of us by pointing out the errors, so I shall be one of thise annoying reviewers who only point out notable parts they liked and so on...is that okay? <<
  9. Peh Lazy. You're gonna make me do all the work while you get to comment on all the goodness and munching on 75 % Fat Free Buttered Popcorn?

    Meany ;-;

    I don't think that made much sense but I'm sure it got the point across.

    Enjoy China Go-Go! Help them rebuild the Great Wall, and make sure to leave you distinctive mark on the Forbidden Palace!
  10. GoGoTenda

    GoGoTenda I Eat Zapdos' Eggs

    I should really pay more attention to my own threads, huh? >>

    China was great, thanks. I recommend the People's Republic to everyone :p

    Byzantium, you don't have to let Scrap and Saber freeload. Just ignore my plentiful errors and let them point them out.

    Scrap, there won't be any yaoi (it would bump my rating up too high and someone might call me bad things XD). You can interpret the rest of it however you want, though ;P

    Update eventually, hopefully in the next to days. Pray for me!
  11. GoGoTenda

    GoGoTenda I Eat Zapdos' Eggs

    Oh my, an update at Byz's provoking. Maybe I can get back into the swing of writing, hm? Sorry to keep everyone waiting. ^^;

    Chapter Two: A Test, A Test!

    Finally, they did, though mostly in large groups. Others roughly Shinu’s age poured into the room with seconds to spare, taking their assigned seats as they had all year. Shinu’s drumming stopped as he listened to familiar voices and saw familiar faces. He watched them enter and sit, while some of them milled about and gossiped about the test. A girl sat down next to him, jarring him out of his people-watching state. He looked at her bubbling fury and gave her a sheepish grin. “Yes, Akiko?”

    “Why did you just fly by me without even saying good-morning? Hm?” Akiko brushed her brown hair out of her eyes, running her left hand over her ear and revealing more of her glare to Shinu. Shinu had always wondered how her hair could be such a color while Kuro’s was almost jet black. Brother and sister did share the same russet eyes, but most everything else was entirely different. Kuro preferred to wear clothing of his namesake, or at least of dark tones: Akiko was dressed in a sleeveless pink jacket which barely covered the top of a stark white, pleated dress. While brother was typically silent or sarcastic, sister was loud and direct. Her eyes continued to burn holes in Shinu’s head until he looked down slightly to answer her.

    “I was in a rush because I thought I was late. Please forgive me.” Shinu bowed as best he could, considering his sitting position. Faintly, he heard Aiji laughing from wherever he had decided to eavesdrop from. The laughter was mixed with a low chuckle of Kuro’s. Desperately, Shinu bowed lower so as to hide his burning face.

    “Aw, that’s alright, Shinu.” Akiko’s voice was sweet now, holding a hint of shame for being so abrasive. Soft fingers reached for Shinu’s chin and then tilted it up, gently bringing his head back up until it was even with hers. She withdrew her hand and giggled. “You’re really red, though.”

    “That’s not going to make it better!” Shinu covered his face with his hands and turned away from Akiko. His cheeks were on fire from the extra bloodflow, and his heart was making minute jumps and skips. It wasn’t just embarrassment; he knew that even if Akiko didn’t. He turned his blue eyes upwards to see Aiji mere inches from him, crouching on the counter. “Aiji!” Shinu leaned back quickly, nearly toppling out of his seat.

    “Hehe! Is Shinu nervous around the lovely Akiko?” Aiji smiled down at him even while Shinu shook his head ‘no’. Something sinister snuck into the smile, revealing itself as Aiji spoke. “I think that Akiko should give Shinu a nice good-luck hug before the test, yes?”

    “Yes!” Akiko leapt forward, flinging her arms around Shinu, who raised his own arms to try and defend himself. He was powerless against her, however, feeling more and more breathless each time she brushed against him. Shinu was soon lost, his mind spinning while his body was firmly grounded by Akiko’s grip. Aiji was in hysterics even after he’d fallen backwards off the counter and tumbled to the front of the classroom, where Kuro gave a quick glance to make sure he was still breathing. Akiko let go of Shinu and got back into her seat: It took Shinu a few moments to recover and make it back to his own place.

    “I hope Aiji broke his neck…” Shinu was still bright red as he grumbled into his desk. His face was mostly hidden as his head lay upon crossed arms. Tiny vibrations went through the table as Akiko set an elbow down and propped her head against her palm.

    “Relax, Shinu. We’re just teasing you. Aren’t you used to it by now?” As Akiko finished, Shinu sighed softly. She watched him for a minute, just sitting there acting angry and faking frustration. Slowly, her gaze was pulled across the room as if by unseen strings as her attention span dwindled. “None of the instructors are here yet? Who’s going to give us our test?”

    “That would be us.” Kuro sat up from the windowsill and walked to join Aiji and Onkei, who had made their way to the front of the class. He took the center position, facing the class with Aiji on his left and Onkei to the right. The previously loud classroom quickly became silent. “As you all know, second year genin are assigned to help teach younger students, assisting the true teachers as best we can. This test will not only determine which of you will graduate this year, but it’ll also give the higher ups something to judge us by.” Here he gave a casual wave to his teammates. “That being said, I think we’ll take the written portion of the exam first.”

    Aiji and Onkei took stacks of the papers they had fished out of the back closest, and after Onkei gave half of his to Kuro, the three student teachers began to pass them out. Shinu groaned softly. “There had to be a written section.”

    ”Every time, Shinu.” Kuro handed him a paper and then preceded to Akiko, then the next student. Shinu dug a pencil from his pocket and scrawled his signature onto the paper. Without further argument and only a quiet ‘good luck’ from Akiko, Shinu started on the test.

    Shinu’s pencil scrambled furiously across the page, making quick work of the early, easy questions. His scratching ceased in the middle of the paper, pausing long enough for to make sense of the problem. He muttered an “Obviously…” and scribbled down an answer with barely contained pride. Onkei and Kuro both had taken turns trying to walk him through trajectory problems, and actually understanding it was about enough to make Shinu scream. Steeling himself, he managed to hold it in and work on until the front page was complete. He calmly turned the page over and stared down at the next question.

    It read “Define a Bloodline Limit” and Shinu smirked. He wrote up the textbook definition word by word from memory, gracious to be receiving essentially free points on the test. The would-be ninja read over his answer slowly, checking each character. A Bloodline Limit is a technique developed through the evolution of genes. It is programmed into a person’s genetics and passed from generation to generation within a family, hence the ‘bloodline’ in the term. Bloodline Limits can not be taught, though some have requirements to be met before they can ‘awaken’. These criteria often include age or charka capacity, but other objectives are not unknown. “Perfect,” he whispered and turned the page.

    The test was long, dreadfully long. Shinu managed to work through it, getting hindered only by history questions. History had always been his worst subject, as he could never begin to care about a bunch of dead men. After seven pages of paper, he was finished. He looked up to see who else was done. The questions about each Hokage and their accomplishments had dragged down his time, leaving only a handful of other students still working the test. Akiko was already done, playing with an eraser and glancing at the clock every few seconds. Shinu stood up and grabbed his test, making his way to the aisle. He walked down the steps and handed the test to Kuro. “Easy.”

    Kuro smirked and took the test, placing it face down on a stack of papers on the desk he was sitting at. He waved his hand towards Shinu’s seat, which Shinu turned to go back to. The youth trotted back up the stairs and returned to his seat. When he sat, he noticed writing on his desk. The characters read ‘How did it go?’. He looked to his right and saw Akiko smiling at him, handing him a pencil and the eraser she had been playing with. Shinu ran the eraser across the desk, removing the markings and leaving little nubs of blackened rubber. He brushed his hand across the surface to wipe the debris away and then scribbled an answer. ‘It was easy. You?’

    Akiko read the words and bit her bottom lip slightly. Shinu felt compelled to ask her what was wrong, but refrained. Instead, he handed her the pencil and eraser. She took them, cleared the desk, and wrote her own reponse. ‘I think I failed’ with a little smiley facing bearing a sweat drop. Shinu grabbed the pencil, writing:

    ‘You did not, you’re better than me at this stuff.’

    She tore the pencil away; ‘Not true. Remember all those quizzes I bombed?’

    ‘You mean the ones you got A minuses on?’

    ‘Yeah, I bombed them.’

    ‘’Bombing’ implies that you failed. As in ‘got an F’’

    ‘It might as well have been an F. I’m not going to graduate’ with a crying face.

    ‘You’re not going to fail.’ Shinu put down the pencil and sighed. Akiko didn’t take it, but didn’t seem entirely reassured. Absentmindedly, Shinu began erasing the graphite from the now blackened desk. He stared up at the clock. The second hand ticked away slowly, bouncing forward and then slightly back. He noticed Kuro rising from his seat and heard the older boy clear his throat.

    “Three minutes remaining. Then you can all be out of here.” He was in the process of sitting down when the door to the classroom flew open, slamming loudly. Everyone looked up to see a girl roughly Kuro’s age with a curtain of blonde hair behind her. She looked flustered, and was panting quietly. “Misao? What is it?”

    ”I think she’s really going to kill someone this time, Kuro. Can you please come stop her? Onritsu tried to stop her, but it didn’t work.” Misao rested her hands on her knees and bent over to catch her breath. Her white blouse hung limp with light moisture and her black pants were wrinkled from running. The red from her face was gradually receding, but still present.

    “She’s not going to kill anyone, but I’ll go just in case.” Kuro stood back up and addressed the class. “Keep working. You’ll have an extra minute after the bell due to the disturbance, but no more.” The students still working instantly returned to the test, but everyone else was set on watching Kuro and Misao. Kuro walked to the door and gently grabbed Misao’s hand. “Come on, Misao. Onkei, you’re in charge.”

    “Alright, I guess…” Onkei was at the back of the class, obviously watching for signs of cheating. He nodded at Kuro, who then nodded back and left the class. Misao followed after him, closing the door with her free hand, and said “Thank you, Kuro.”

    The class was silent again. Shinu sat quietly, contemplating what was going on. Misao was obviously talking about Shikane, who was certainly the type to explode at a student who asked too many stupid questions. Kuro was more or less the student boss of all the genin teacher assistants, making him the obvious choice to stop whatever was going on. Shinu let it go; he’d hear about it later today whether or not he asked. He rested his head on his arms and watched the clock.

    When the second hand hit 12, a ring filled the school. Shinu stood up quickly, as did almost everyone else in the class. Onkei had made his way to the door and opened it for whoever wanted to leave. Nudging Akiko slightly, Shinu made his way out of the classroom. The girl was in front of him and began talking as soon as they were out of the classroom. “I definitely failed.”

    ”You’ve done this for every test we’ve ever taken and you’ve always been wrong.” Shinu started down the hallway with Akiko on his right. “Can’t you just trust that you did well?”

    “No, that doesn’t make sense. Someone has to fail that test and it’s going to be me!”

    “Don’t worry yourself, Akiko-chan. The failure is Shinu here, right?” Shinu was sent stumbling forward by a hard slap to the back. He turned in anger and laid his eyes on the speaker. Messy brown hair and feral, yellow eyes. A constant grin and air of haughtiness followed the other student wherever he went. A black, sleeveless shirt covered his trunk and a pair of baggy, pouch-covered khakis did the same for his lower half. He cocked his head to the side and smiled at Shinu. “Tell me, how badly did you fail?”

    “I didn’t fail, Kamimaru. I passed with flying covers, as I’m sure you didn’t.” Shinu returned the forced smile as Akiko moved to his side. Kamimaru laughed in his arrogant way and wiped a fake tear from his eye.

    “Right, right. To each his own, I suppose. I’ll see you two later when the results are posted.” Kamimaru strode past Shinu and Akiko, letting his conceit pour around him. Shinu watched him leave before making a rude gesture towards Kamimaru’s back.

    “God, he’s annoying, huh? I hope he really does fail.” Shinu returned his hand to normal and started walking down the hall again. Akiko hurried to catch up and fell into time.

    “That’s horrible, Shinu. What if he ends up on your team?”

    ”Then I’ll have to kill him, I guess.” Shinu laughed but stopped when he saw Akiko’s shocked face. “I’m kidding. I hate his guts, but I wouldn’t kill him.”


    “Yes, Akiko, I wouldn’t kill him. Unless he tried to kill me first, of course. Then I wouldn’t hesitate to end his life.”

    ”That’s truly horrible.” They walked together quietly until they came to the front door of the school. Shinu pushed it open and held it for Akiko, who stepped through and blinked into the sun. “What are you dong for lunch? The results should be posted afterwards, so I was just going to eat somewhere nearby.”

    “I actually didn’t think about lunch at all, but I am starting to get hungry. Thinking tends to do that to me…would you mind if I joined you? I can pay for myself.” Shinu withdrew his wallet from deep within a pocket as proof.

    “Of course I wouldn’t mind. I was thinking we could go to Yochi Za. They’re lunches are soooooo good.” Akiko swooned and held her hands to her chest, acting like she was in love. She giggled and ran a few feet down the street. Shinu followed after, nearly catching up before she darted away again.

    “That sounds good. It’s right around the corner, right?” Shinu noticed that Akiko was stopped in front of a store, pointing up at the sign. He read it aloud and sighed. “Yochi Za….it’s not even around the corner, it’s on it.”

    “Yup. Lets go.” Akiko bounced up the couple steps to the door and snuck inside, leaving Shinu to walk slowly behind her. The restaurant was small, containing a few tables and chairs with most of the seating at a bar behind which the head chef was taking orders. The man was middle aged and dressed in an apron and comfortable clothes. The whole restaurant smelled of cooking and food, the scent of which made Shinu ravenous.

    “Welcome, you two! Just got out of the test, right?” He smiled warmly and placed menus at two seats at the bar. Akiko bounded to the closest of the pair and sat, letting Shinu walk farther.

    “Yes we did, sir. I probably failed, but he thinks he passed.”

    “You? You look like a smart young girl, not the type to fail at all. However, we’re offering complimentary tempura to students like yourselves if you’ll let me fetch you a plate.” The man walked along the counter to prepare the food. Akiko swiveled in her chair to face Shinu.

    “Now we wait for the results.” She grabbed chopsticks from a bucket on the counter, pulled them apart, and began to fiddle with them. Shinu grabbed his own pair, but left them together on the menu in front of him. Waiting is the worst, he thought…
  12. Wait, so Shinu passed by performing soaring renditions of old rock staples? :p

    0-0 Had no idea Dong was a verb.

    Anyway, I liked this chapter. I like you're style, it holds my interest (just disregard the 1 month lateness of this review). It kinda lost steam after the test ended, with some ackward conversation (like the "kill Kamimaru" thing).

    Either way, good job! ^_^

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