Top Secret! (PG 13)

[dyo]

Hi, uhm... It's the first fic I write, it would be good if people here helps me. It's basically a wierd adaptation to my life at the Pokemon World... it looks like a freak girl thing, but it can turn good! Well, here is:

Top Secret! Prologue: "Some years ago..."
(Rated PG 13 because of some ocasional bad languaje and siblings verbal and 'physical' violence)

Long ago, a renombred family started to form, with Pokemon's Capture as familiar tradition and specialization. Whole generations of famous catchers made this family a very specializated experts, due to the gift that all of the Moonlight had on the blood. Generation after generation of catcher, every of them better than the last one. But sometime, a little girl was born. This little girl, however, showed herself very useless for any kind of phisical activity. Is exactly this little girl, who's story will be related, from her first memories of life, to her present.
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It was a beauty full-moon night at Ecruteak, Jotho. At a manor's garden, a woman was sit at the ground talking to her husband.

"Dear, this girl is a beauty blessing... And now Sei will have a little sissy for playing and teaching her! I can barely imagine it and contain emotion tears..." the woman said while drying a tear popping out from her eye.

This girl's family, by the way, didn't judge the age, but the maduration grade for determinate the exact date for earning their familiar ancestral techniques, being the last one who learned them the teacher for the new decendant. Seeing this way, maybe this little descendant grew up too fast...

"Well, deary, we'll have to wait until she look prepared for it, and then, until her birthday. Don't get too excited this quickly, she had just born..."

"Yeah... We've got to think a name for this new descendant of us, don't you think? Something... Something that fits our wishes for her future perfectly"

"We'll think of something for that. If you want any name, then, just say it and that will be her middle name" answered the man.

"Uhm... I always wanted to call a girl some way... If you'll admit any name, I would really love to call her..."
_______________________________

"Dyo! It's time to wake up, deary!"

Time passed by, and after some unpeacefull times at this (now) quiet manor, the little girl born on a full-moon night grew up, and now that 2 years passed by, she already knows very much things normal people learns at school when becomes 6 years old, or at Kinder Garden, normallly when become 5.

At a pretty room a little girl was sleeping peacefully at a bed surrounded by pokemon dolls. There was another bed at this one's side, but it was empty. A girl entered to the room then.

"Haven't you heard mom, sissy? Time to wake up, for breakfast" said the girl, a bit older than the one sleeping.

"...m goin'-..." murmured the little girl sleep.

"You better do quickly, you little sleepy brat" said the older girl punching her sissy's little head afectively soft.

The little girl finally standed up when her older sister got out from the room. Her messed hair was pretty and shiny, and she was wearing a grey pijama with some letter, with cheerfull colors, which readed 'Funny Colors', with a color bar behind the letters.

At the dinner room, the other girl was already breaking with her brothers.

"Dyo is coming mom... Or so she said..." said the girl to a brown haired, middle aged woman.

"You trust her?" asked laughing a dark haired boy older than than the two girls.

"I wouldn't" replied a brown haired boy, very alike to the younger girl.

"Oh, the first child had speak... Shut up, it's 'bout trusting me for wake her up!" said the girl.

"Sei, Clef, Mimo, you all shut up now and eat a peacefull breakfast, yes?" interrupted the woman.

"Yes, mother..." said the three bored, at the time that the younger child was going downstairs.

"Oh, there she is! See?" the older girl said thriumphant to her brothers.

"Oh, well, shut up Sei. Hi Dyo, are you awake?" said the dark haired boy.

"Yup, I think so..." said the younger child, Dyo.

"Mimo! You shouldn't ask it that way, it's better 'Hiya sissy, pathetic Sei did waked you up so?'" corrected the older child to his younger brother, Mimo.

"Ignore'em, ignore'em, ignore'em..." murmured Sei trying to control herself for that was coming.

"Really? I though 'stupid Sei' was better, but now I couldn't though any of those... Ya know... Too sleepy for thinking..." answered Mimo.

"... Ignore'em, ignore'em, ignore'em... What you'd said 'bout me, you freakin dark haired fairy!?" reacted then Sei, the older girl, younger than them, however ^^;

"Dark haired WHAT????" exploded Mimo too, and the two started to fight.

"Uhm? Oh, hello, Clef... Why are they fighting?" Dyo said to her brother Clef, the older one. They were really alike! The same skin tone, same hair colour, same eyes, the two of them were long-haired, and incredibly cutes! The perfect siblings couple you would like to meet.

"Errr, the two are VERY impulsive, you alredy know right Dyo?" he said, patting her head and carrying her on his arms. "Hey, you two, you're giving Dyo an horrible example as older siblings, you better start acting more according to your age." Seing Sei teasing Mimo, he added "For the two..."

"Sei, you better act more like a girl besides" added Dyo from her brother's arms.

"And you better act more like younger child! Don't tell me what to do or how to act!" said Sei, irrited by the comment 'bout her ways.

"I though it was rather a sugerence than an order Sei. Now you all calm down..." said a middle aged man.

"They were the ones fighting Dad! Me and Dyo did nothing more than try to do exactly what you had just done, right Dyo?" explained Clef to his father.

"... and let's have a peacefull breakfast..." continued the childs' father.

"Don't want to! I don't like breakfast!" complained Dyo, but immediately shuted up when her mother brought her Oran's juice.

"So now you shut? Such a girl..." murmured Sei, still angry.

"Hey, at least she'll be a bit more girlish than you, and more calm and gentle than you" replied Mimo at her side.

"Sh*t, shutupfairy..."
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It's another quiet night at the Moonlight's manor. It's full-moon again, and Dyo's parents are talking again 'bout their younger daugther and child.

"It's full moon again... Does this reminds you anything?" asks Dyo's mother to start.

"Yeah, little Dyo seems prepared... I'm surprised she could get everything the same day she was taught 'bout it, and that she's already mature enough to learn all this" replies Dyo's father.

"Since two years... I'd never tought it would be in so little time that we should be talking gain 'bout our daughters. I never though she would grow so fast!" exclamed impressed the childs' mother.

"Uhm, never though either... But she's prepared. Prepare yourself now, for her next birthday will be that momment we were waiting for... Erm... Not so much time..." said the man sweatdroping.

"I think. We've got how many months then? I can't remember not even the date for the emotion!" explained very excited the woman.

"It's just February... We've got to worry for Clef's birthday first after thinking 'bout Dyo's and her special 'birthday gift'..." sighed the man.

It turns out that the 's family heads hided this info from their younger child until she was about to become three. Noticing she was mature enough, they decided to ask a bit more from her until her birthday would come. That night on dinner...
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"Dyo, you should go to bed earlier. You've been doing a great effort since this week" suggested her father.

"Uhm? Nope, it's okay... I'm not sooo tired..." said Dyo distractedly while her siblings where looking for an answer on how she could talk that clearly while eating.

"Yeah, but you should anyway dear. You don't wanna be or look tired your birthday, right?" said her mother.

The little girl thought a bit 'bout the sugerence before answering. "Uhm, you might be right, I wouldn't be able to do anything if I'm tired..." she rasonated. Then, she moved her food plate ahead and standed up before kissing all of her family members and go upstairs with "Good nights, until tomorrow"

Once the little girl was gone, her mother asked the boys "Mimo, Clef, would you please allow us to talk to your sister alone?"

The boys looked at eachother, and already knowing what their parents where planning, retired upstairs with a "Good night" too.

At a pretty bedroom there's a a bed surounded by pokemon dolls, and at the side of this one there's another bed, surrounded by pokeball dolls or rare pokemon dolls. A little girl enters the room yawning, and stretching her little arms. The girl turns the light on and... Oh, it's just Dyo. The little girl get's quickly at her bed and sighs.

"Whooo... It's cold out there... Uhm? Is that a...?" she whispered surprised, opening wide her big, inocent eyes.

"...Sei is the one in charge this time, it'll be a happy memory for me all my life to see you as your sissy's teacher" said her father's voice from the dinner room.

"...???? What was that?" whispered Dyo from the warm of her bed. "... 'As your sissy's teacher...'"

Then, Sei entered the bedroom, and Dyo quickly closed her eyes and fell asleep, thinking 'bout that words...
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Hope everyone enjoyed this, since it's the first fic I post... Dyo's story, by the way, is an adaptation to my real life to the Pokemon World, but with some details changed... (Ex: I wouldn't like to travel, nor hunt animals, but at the story that's what my family does, 'cuz I'm a pokemon catcher and so was my sissy. That was true somehow, then). When reading you all will know what's real and what's not, or at least will learn to diferenciate it after some few chapters. Au revoir

-;282;

 

[Pinecone Tortoise]

Wow, this is really quite impressive! Your characters are starting to come across as recogniseable people, your formatting (the way you've spaced out the story) is making it easy to read and there's even a sense of mystery and intrigue loitering around to bring your readers back for next chapter. Lovely.

Unfortunately, most of these positives are countered by the numerous spelling/grammar/punctuation errors littered throughout the chapter. Not to worry. The fact that your major error is a technical one is a relief - technical errors are easier to fix than contentual errors. Do you use a Spellchecker (like the one built into Word)? Those things can really help - but don't rely on them entirely. Spellcheckers have been known to make mistakes. Especially if you're new to writing, I'd advise getting a beta reader (someone to proofread your chapters before you post them). Beta readers not only pick up technical mistakes that a Spellchecker might miss, they can advise you on content as well. That is, they can tell you if your story is rushing or if it needs more description or if one of your characters is behaving unrealistically.

Actually, out of those three, (pace, description and characterisation) I think the one you'd want to work on most is description. Your characters are surprisingly memorable and defined for a first chapter and the pace of your story seems neither too slow nor to fast. Congrats there! Description, however, could afford to be more plentiful. Perhaps tell your readers about the way your characters look and behave as they say and do things? Subtle gestures/mannerisms, tone of voice and other body language are often the msot helpful tools for convey the way a character is feeling.

Anyway, youv'e got an amazing start here and, as I said, there's a sense of mystery to draw people back for the next chapter. Let me know when you post it, e? ^^ Thanks. So, yah, please put this beginning to good use - a little more description and complete removal of the technical errors would be nice, but you're going strong for the moment! ^^

Good luck and fun to you!

Piney.
;204;;324;

 

[dyo]

Wooh, thanks for reading and suggesting! ^^ It's way too hard for me to write this kind of things based on myself and people I know, but I was mainly doing this for some friends at a club that always ask me 'bout myself. Uhm, thanks again for the sugestions, and for the compliments too! I like to know someone likes it ^^ And the thing for the grammar was, that I don't speak english... I'm natively a spanish-talker, and for the Beta reader, that can be you if you want... None of my other friends can log enough for that, from what I was told by them... Anyway, I was thinking to post the 1rst chapter now but my disk got misteriously broken >0<o And, 'bout the charas... Check my Gallery time in time, I'm thinking to post links for pics since I'm not describing them! They're RL people, if they see their description is not good they'll kick me! XD Specially my sissy Sei... Oh, anyway. I supose I can improve,a nd supose I can add you to the PM list... See ya later, and recomend the fic if you like it! XD Au revoir
-;282;

 

[The Great Butler]

Not a bad little piece of work. It's satisfied what I would expect from an early chapter. Piney pretty much pointed out what needs work, so I'll leave you with a compliment on your efforts and my wishes for the success of your fic.

 

[Pinecone Tortoise]

Hey. Me, your beta reader? Well, if you can't find anyone else, I suppose I can try. Problem is, I'm rather busy at the moment, so I can't guarantee quick response times. Eh, as I said, if you can't get anyone else, let me know and I can try to beta for you. But perhaps you'd want to try a parent or someone else on the forums first? Let me know what you decide. ^^

Good luck and fun to you!

Piney
;204;;324;

 

[dyo]

Well, thanks the both... Uhm, parent? Nope, tht wouldn't be good... I don't use to like showing my parents what I write, they ususally can't understand very good english besides... And the rest of my friends don't have very much time... So I'll just post the first chap now, the disk is finally working as it should!! XD Here, though I haven't made you wait very much, this was quick...:

Top Secret!, Chapter 1: "An Unknown Land"
(Still PG 13)

'At that time, I didn't even suspected what were those words for... I'd even fell asleep trying to find out what was behind that... Until next morning...'
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A little girl is sleeping, and a older girl goes into her room to wake her up.

"Com'on, Dyo, wake up! Happy Birthday! And..." said the older girl, Sei, to her younger sissy Dyo while taking a megaphone "I've got to go with you somewhere!"

The girl waked up and answered sleepy "Umh? What's up, Sei? And that messy thingy?"

"This? Oh..." replied the older girl retrieving the megaphone "You don't wanna miss a really amazing journey, want you?"

"'Course I don't! Wait me Sei!" answered the little girl suddenly waking up and putting attention.

"Ok, Ok, but first get ready and we're going" answered smiling the older girl.

'Sei had only learned the technique some months ago, when she became 4, but she was really amazing for that little experience. As the last one who learned our family techniques, "she was the one in charge to teach ME", the new decendant, like my father had just said the last night...'

The little girl is now going downstairs with her older sister, while talking.

"Where are we going? We've got time to break? And greeting Mummy and Daddy? What's up with Mimo and Clef?"

"All that has its answers, but on the right time Dyo. Patience is a required request to be like Mimo or Clef" answered the older girl to her sissy, smiling sweetly.

"Besides of practice, right?" the younger girl's sweet, low voice said.

"You're very good! Yeah, girl, and we've got time to break and greet Mummy and Dady, then we go"

"How many time we'll be out?"

"Not very much time"

"That was suposed to be my 'birthday present'. I've got to say I really grew up too fast, since I were mature enough for learning my family techniques a year younger than Sei."
_______________________________

Sei and Dyo are flying at Sei's Pidgeotto now, enjoying the wind at their faces. Dyo's now wearing glasses for an unknown reason.

"When we'll be there?" asked again the little, curious younger girl to her sister.

"Well... We have enough time for talking a bit ^^; "

Dyo sweatdroped then.

'Such a way to keep me shut all the journey... _-_ ' I say swetdroping too.

"Oh! I almost forget to tell you, a friend of mine lives at the port city in the place where were going. Want to go and visit him later, Dyo?" Sei informed her sissy.

"Uhm? Friend? Well ^^ " answered with her sweetie and very low, almost whispering, voice the little girl.

"By the way, were not going to Kanto, the Sevii Islands or any other place you know well, so you better don't go away from me. Stay where I can see you" prevented Sei to her sister.

"No problem, you're usually the one who goes away, not me ^^ " reminded Dyo with a smile at her face.

'After a while, we arrived at Petalburg...'

"Well, now we need to go at any route close..."

"How come you know someone from this place? And how is this place called?"

"This, my deary sissy" Sei said while pointing the whole place and getting out from her pocket a Poke Nav "is the Hoenn Region!"

"The what? How far we are from home?" asked Dyo a bit worried.

Sei sweatdroped before answering "I though you read it on that book I gave you?"

"Yep, but I still don't know it! >< " complained little Dyo.

"Well, we're here" said the older girl poining Petalburg at her Nav little screen "and if we go up a bit..."

She went to the north of the map then, showing some islands and two regions together "We have the Jotho Region, our home. I think you know where Ecruteak is if I show you this map?

"Yup! This is Ecruteak!" said Dyo pointing Ecruteak at the Jotho map on the Nav's screen.

"Well, according to my friend, a route next this city has very much cute pokemons. One of those cutie thingies might be good for you to start, don't you think?"

"Yeay! I want a cutie thingy!"

"Well, this one," said Sei pointing Route 102 at the screen map "is the one there"

She then pointed at the real Route 102 "BUT according to the same friend there's a secret place on that route where many rare pokemons can be found"

'That same secret place where I caught you, remember? ^^ ' I said to my second starter pokemon.

"So, how I'm going to caught a pokemon if I got no pokemons, Sei? Will you borrow me one of yours?"

"Yeah, but since we're at another region, we need to use pokemons from this region"

Dyo then fliped her head 90º confused "Uhm?"

"It wouldn't be fair for this poor pokemons to fight against pokemons they aren't used to see. If you fight with a pokemon from this region, then you can do it fair and caught the pokemon, now you understand?"

"Yup! But are you goin to catch any pokemon first for telling me how to?"

"'Course! I can't just leave you alone and tell you 'catch it' without even had taught you how you're suposed to do it, that's not fair and less my way to be. Oh, and here's the path to the secret place. My friend said exactly that it's "behind some messed up bushes behind a three" ^^ "

Dyo followed Sei through the path and stared amazed "Your friend seems to know very much o0 "

"Well, he's from here, I wouldn't expect less. However, he's not exactly from this city, so it's very good for him to know the secret path thing"

"This of the secret path looks like in a movie! XD "

Sei sweatdroped "Yeah. . . Like a movie. . ."

'Oh my god, I'd really said that?' I asked sweatdroping.

'Yeah you did. I was close and overheared you' my second starter told me.

'Right, I'd overheared from my pokeball as well, you exactly said that ^^ ' defended my first starter.

'Whatever, where were I? Oh, yeah...'

"Well, let's see--... Oh, there's one of them!" said Sei pointing at a Surskit.

"Woah, it's so cute! Your friend was right! XD " exaclamed excited Dyo, getting herat-eyed.

"Pay atettion, instead of getting heart-eyed! Now, I'll show you how you've got to do for catch any pokemon very easily. Now, go, Mudkip! " Sei started.

"Woah, pokemon from this region are VERY cutes!! <3 " said Dyo getting heart-eyed again.

"Put atention, I'm doing this JUST ONCE!" said Sei slaping her head.

"Ouchie... Okay, just say it, don't hit me... ,>-; " said little Dyo putting a hand at her head.

"Words just don't seem to work on you, little Dyo! >< " complained Sei.

"You were going to teach me how to caught a pokemon, not to complain 'bout me, remember? >o<, " Dyo reminded.

"Oh, right... Mudkip, Water gun!" ordered Sei.

THEN...! ... The Water gun missed the Surskit.

"Aww... It missed..." said Dyo lowing her head.

Sei didn't looked worry. Instead, she took out from her pocket a pokeball, calculated something and threw the pokeball. The pokeball got the Surskit in, and started moving like when you're about to catch a pokemon.

"If this works, Dyo, we can't get the info anyway, but..." started Sei sweating.

"So? Why we're catching pokemons from another region then?" interrupted little Dyo.

"'Cause what you said. You said you always wanted a cute and loyal pokemon. There at Jotho, you can only find a pokemon like it, Growlithe. But if you would like to evolve it, its too loyal and it would harm even your friends if they get closer" explaine with a grin Sei.

'The pokeball stoped then, meaning my sissy caught the Surskit, and Sei took it from the ground while retrieving Mudkip' I explain.

"That black thingy is so cutey! Can I use it?" Dyo said cheerfully.

"Well, I had something better prepared for you instead..." Sei said looking for something in her bagpack and getting out three pokaballs, one with a grass symbol, another one with a water symbol and the last with a fire symbol.

"What this things are? What's inside this pokeballs?" the sweet younger voice said.

"Something amazing... Hoenn Starters"
_______________________________

This WILL end at the next chapie, I swear!!! ^^; Well, by now I just think it's okay, it' enough for today and haven't though of everything 'bout what follows, but I'd already made you all wait a lot, so... Well, wanted to post it... And besides, it's already 6 Word pages! >< That's at my PC at least, if at anyone's it's shorter than that it's not my fault and will not tolerate to hear any comment 'bout posible lie, heard me? Uh, I think strress is bothering me lotsa...
-;282;

 

[dyo]

Well well, no reply? Uhm, anyway, here's the next chapter... By the way I wanted to menction, that here a new narrator is added, it speaks between this ' ' ones and it's on present time. It's not that I'm bad narrating, I wanted to clear this. And yes, my Languaje profesor says you actually CAN do it, it's allowed at complex narrations! Hope it's goin' fine by now besides that ^^; Here, enjoy!! XD :

Top Secret!, chapter 2: "An Awesome Birthday Gift" (still PG 13)

"Woah!! Grass, Water and Fire?" little Dyo asked anxious.

"Yup ^^ Seems like it likes you, doesn't it?" Sei said sweetly to her almost-twin sister.

'Bet who I chosed...'

"Yeah, which's Fire one?" Dyo exclamed allowing her emotions to show.

"Oh, you hurry girl... I told you to have patience" Sei said taking the grass pokeball.

"This one" she said while releasing the pokemon inside "It's Treecko. He looks happy to see you ^^ "

"Nice to meet you as well, Treecko!" said the younger girl happily.

Then Sei took the water signed pokeball and released the pokemon too "This is Mudkip, the one I used. She's my little sissy Dyo, Mudkip, greet her ^^ " introduced the older girl.

Mudkip raised a hand as a greet while shooting a bit of water to Dyo's face.

"Oh, so cute! Nice to meet you, Mudkip, sweetie! Maybe we'll see again later ^^ " the little girl guessed sweetly.

"Finally, who I'm sure somehow you'll choose..." the older girl said, taking the fire pokeball and releasing the pokemon inside.

"This is Torchic, the fire chicken..." she started, but suddenly stoped when she saw Dyo taking Torchic in her arms "... Which I'd already knew you were going to choose.. ^^; "

"Oh, you're so cutey! Well, nice to meet you! I'm sure we'll see later 'cuz I'll ask Sei to!" Dyo said sweetly to her sister's Torchic.

'Now, Mudkip and Treecko live at my house at Sei's charge, while that same Torchic is your mate'

'Predecible'

"Yeay! I'll use him to fight my new pokemon, Sei?" the little girl squeeled.

"Well, yes, once you find it 'course" said the older girl sweatdroping.

"Well, I'll look for it then ^^ " the other girl said happily.

"Wait, I heard from my friend that here lives a little girl like pokemon. He told me those thingies are very loyal to their masters and can think for themselves if their trainer's away from them and even recognize the people their master trust for asking for help if they can't protect you. Besides, of being very cutey, exactly the perfect pokemon for a little girl like you for start" Sei explained, stoping her a while.

'Yes, but she didn't knew what was going to happen with my starter pokemon...'

"Oh, yipyy! Yayyayayyay! I'm going to catch a cute, loyal and own-quick thinker pokemon! XD " the younger girl squeeled cheerfully.

"Oh, okay, just calm down and I'll lead you to the place where my friend says he first saw one" her older sister tried to calm her down.

"He has one? =( " the young girl said disapointed.

"No, he didn't wanted to caught it, he just saw it. And you see, when I told him the characteristics needed for my sissy's perfect pokemon, well, he immediately though of it" Sei told her, remembering the scene.

"Yay! Your friend seems very gentle!" exclamed the younger girl, thinking it was pretty cool from someone she didn't even knew and didn't even knew her.

"Well, if you want to spend your birthday getting fun in this region, we can visit him later ^^ " suggested the older sister.

'You all know who my sissy's friend from Hoenn is, don't you?' I say to my pokemons smiling.

"Who is him? He has a familiar tittle like us? And his family, who are them? =\ " asked the curious young girl.

"Oh, well, you can ask him later I guess..." answered her sister tired.

"Okay. Where is that pokemon he said?" asked the little girl curiously.

"Errrrr, in this same place we are it's suposed to be easier to find it, you can find it at the whole route, but here its more common" answered the girl's teacher and sister.

"Never though to be a catcher would be so hard..." sighed Dyo.

"It's hard: You have to be determined, don't be cruel but its not so good to be soft; an intermedious state is always better, but only little people can keep their cold without feeling guilty later. The ones who can keep their cold easily are the better catchers: our family had been famous for having all this qualities, including a good physic and ability for catching pokemon. Character plus abilty, that makes a good catcher, and if we add info seek, you're done" explained Sei to her younger sissy proudly.

"Oh, it looks very hard... I can't wait 'til I've got to travel to find rare pokemons..." dreamed the little girl.

"Never allow that fact of being 'hard' to make you hesitate: if you got my blood and our family's, you should have it on your genes, so don't worry since while growing up talent will show itself with practice and determination" calmly explained Sei to her sister and apprentice.

"No, I wasn't meaning to give up so fast! I'm just starting to learn, but I care 'bout our family's name and I'll do everything, even the immposible, to keep our fame" defended herself the younger girl.

"'Bout can't wait 'til travel... That will be when growing up, by now wait pattiently and just do what I do. During our first years of training, we caught pokemons around our homeplace. When growing up we're suposed to have practiced enough, and besides have caught all the pokemons in the area allowed, so we'll have to travel for finding another specimenes. That is what makes us catchers special" eclamed excited Sei. She was starting to enjoy having a sister more than when she knew she was going to born!

"I understand... According to the homeplace area and family posibilities, you have a different starter pokemon, diferent pokemons to catch when training, different growing up and training and all those things that determinate how good you'll be when growing up..." guessed Dyo rolling her eyes.

"Yup. I'll let you come with me to train after this... <3 " Sei said patting Dyo's head.

'She was very warm with me then... She even promised me that you'd just heard and did it when we went back home...' I say while my pokemons stare at each other whit a 'maybe we shouldn't have asked' look.

"Yipy!" Dyo squeeled excitedly.

"Hey! Come here, don't scare it..." Sei whispered while taking Dyo behind a bush.

"'Don't scare it'... Scare what?" Dyo whispered back while fliping her head once more.

"That is the pokemon my friend told me" Sei whispered again pointing at a Ralts "Evolved, it's suposed to be a very much powerfull psycho pokemon... Besides of all I told you, and has very much ability with dimensional distortion"

"Dimensional Distortion? Cool! I want it! XD " Dyo whispered.

"So catch it! Go on, ask him for a fight first so it will be prepared. Another rule from our family: the pokemon you'll catch is your opponent, but you shall be respectfull to it. Never trap it, that's not showing any trust in your abilities besides being very dishonest behaviour. And can't do that, right Dyo?" said the older girl patting Dyo and puling her a bit ahead.

"Oh... 'Course its horrible to do it!"

Then the Ralts fliped its head confused as Dyo.

"Oh, it even does my signature gest! It's destined to be mine, see Sei?" Dyo said excited.

"I though he saw you..." Sei mumbled sweatdroping.

"Oh, no... I'm suposed to reveal my identity, not to let them see me... But now you know I'm here, little... Wanna fight?" asked Dyo gently to the little, sweet pokemon in front of her.

"For me?" the Ralts clearly said to the young girl.

"He speaked!" Dyo gasped.

"Or you're mad or you can understand him, I'd just heard a 'Ral?' from him" Sei complained.

"He asked if we're going to fight for him! o0 " squeeled scared and surprised Dyo.

"Now that's wierd... But go on ahead, tell him the truth and pact with it for its destiny" Sei was a bit surprised of what her sister had just told her, but decided to keep her cold to don't scare her even more.

"Okay... Little, hear, we're going to fight, yeah... It's for you indeed, but trust yourself! You can still give a good fight!" cheered up Dyo to convince the little psychic pokemon.

"What? Let's try..." the Ralts said, then growled sweetly.

"Oh he's so sweet! That's 'cuz I need to catch him!" Dyo squeeled while an endless sweetness feeling ran through her body.

"I think he was trying to make you hesitate... Looks like you didn't, little..." sighed Sei triunphantly to the Ralts.

"Don't call me little!" the Ralts complained.

"I still hearing him!" squeled surprised Dyo.

"How you know its gender? Maybe you two are destined indeed..." Sei sighed with a 'Wath the...?!!' expression at her face.

". . . Little, can we have a fight for you? I'd alerted you so I'll start, I guess" Dyo said taking Torchic's pokeball.

"Uh, I though you were going to feel guilty and go away if you heared me growling, but it seems you didn't... You'll be a good catcher <3 " the Ralts teased.

"! Sei, he overheared us!" Dyo exclamed surprised to stil hearing clearly the pokemon's words.

"It's careless, we didn't said anything really important..." sighed Sei, holding her head at her right hand ashamed.

"Oh. Then... Go Torchic! Scratch him, then Ember!" the girl comanded. She was feeling excited to make her first try to catch a pokemon.

'Then, we started our fight for the Ralts... He looked nervous.. Remember what you felt, Ralleys?' I ask my second starter, who is right now at my side, afectously huging me.

'Uncomforted... I was just walking in look for my family since I was lost even from my older sissy (I understand you Dyo... ,-, )... And I heard some whispers! I was scared and then someone appeared. I was still afraid, but I had the wierd sensation that if I was going to be caught anyway for someone when growing up (my parents had advertise me not to go away for it) it had to be that one'

'Oh, really Ralleys?' teased my first starter, getting closer to me, maybe a bit jaleous.

'. . .' my second starter keep shut sweatdroping 'Yeah, really...'

"Oh, he's evading all my atacks..." said disapointed the little girl.

"That's good, you'll have a very quick pokemon once you have caught it =) " complemented Sei giggling.

"Am I suposed to distract him then?" Dyo asked, now a bit more calmfull.

"Yeah, you first distract it somehow, you later calculate angle, speed, impulse of the pokeball and probablity of success in catching it, then throw a ball" explained Sei.

The younger girl nodded "Okay. Torchic, go on with an Ember!"

The little psychic pokemon started to evade the fire chicken attacks, knowing his future if he didn't.

Then, the girl started to murmur what her sister had just told her "Angle: 35º on the air, Speed: the enough and needed, Impulse of the pokeball: 75% is enough, Probability of success: 99,00%". After that, she threw the pokeball.

"Oh crap, I'm caught here! I'll never see my family again!" the psychic pokemon thought, then by telepathy waved his family "I love you all! Bye, I'm being catched, I don't think to ever see you again... Good bye"

"I got it?" asked nervously Dyo. She was sweating, very much seriousness was reflected in her eyes, and her look was too mature for her short age.

"Make sure it don't goes away. If the pokeball moves, wait. If it keeps quiet, take it. You've got a new pokemon <3 " Sei told her sissy excited, already knowing she did well.

The little girl took a look at the pokeball "Looks like it don't moves anymore! <3 " she squeeled cheerfully.

"Take it then. It's all yours. Oh, and..." started the older sister.

"What? What?" Dyo said impaciently. She was sooo excited that she finally had caught a pokemon herself!

'Never though she was going to say that... Maybe any of you was about to ask why I kept Blaze if I already had a starter pokemon ^^ ' I guess.

'You're practicing your psycho abilities, right?' the 'baby' pokemon from my team jokes.

'No, not really. I'm doing but that was only femenine perception' I giggle.

'With those two who'll stop you?' my second starter say, still huging me.

We all laughed then.

"Well, Dyo... I just saw you control very good Fire pokemon... And I..."
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Suspense is going to kill you until next chapter, right? Ha, it's enough for today anyway, don't complain! I was doing it way too long, I had to put it an end some time! Seriously, the chapter alone it's already 9 Word pages (my computer, don't wanna hear any correction nor complaining TT ). So there is, that was the worse thing I could have done, I'm sure! Au revoir, and please forgive me!! ^^;;;;
-;282;

 

[The Great Butler]

Not bad at all. The "oh crap!" line from Ralts gave me quite a chuckle, I must admit.

The only problem I see is that you're using emoticons in dialogue. People can't actually say "Yup. I'll let you come with me to train after this... <3 "

 

[dyo]

Uhm ,I'll try to change that for the next chapters. Thanks for the suggestion, and by the way, like you did now, I would like all of my few readers to tell me if I've improved something since the last chapter, how much I need to improve my grammar (... _-_; ) and these things, will you? Thanks again, Au Revoir!
-;282;

 

[dyo]

Whoo... Excuse me for not posting in so many time, it's first been night time longer because of autumn, then school, then my health (hope it gets better...) and later the ******* diskette!! Well, now I'm finally posting it! Mwahaha, Dyo tries to make my life imposible failed, so I finally can post again, another chapter. Enjoy!:

Top Secret!, chapter 3: "Tactless" (I don't think PG 13 rate is ever changing, but well...)

"... I wanted you to keep that Torchic. Put it a nickname and make it yours. After all, that idea don't seem to bother Torchic, does it?" said the 'teacher' to her apprentice.

"Tor, torchic!" the torchic said. Well, he said that, in fact Dyo heard 'No it doesn't' but Sei can't understand pokemons...

"Why I can understand pokemons but not you nor Mimo or Clef can?" asked Dyo, a bit sick.

"You can understand WHAT? No idea, it must be Mom and Dad thing" Sei answered hesitately.

"I'd never heard them talk to any pokemon more than their ones, but I though they understand them 'cuz they knew them the better" Dyo whispered confused.

"Me too, but now you tell me this I start suspecting of Mom 'cuz she's the one whom gave us any special power, or at least her family" Sei answered reflective.

". . . It's wierd..." the younger Moonlight mumbled.

"Well, let's go back to the Torchic thing. How are you going to name it? Try to call him by a way you can still use once he fully evolved" suggested Sei.

"What's his final evolution name?" Dyo asked, starting to think already.

"Uhm, we have to ask Tact 'bout that..." said the older girl sweatdroping at her own ashaming answer.

"Tact?" Dyo asked while fliping her head confused as her sign gest.

"He's my friend, the one I told you about" Sei explained her smiling confidently.

"Oh... We can go to ask him then" Dyo said smiling, finally having a chance to know the one who indirectly helped her to find the perfect pokemon.

'So, we flied to Slateport, to Tact's house. It was the first time I was going to see him and I didn't even knew him, but he didn't either and helped my sissy to find the perfect pokemon for me. I wanted to thank him, so we went' I explain my pokemon. They needed to know, otherwise they would tease me forever!

The young girls arrived at Slateport and went down from Sei's Pidgeotto.

"Hi Sei! I have to think she's your sissy, the one that you wanted the perfect pokemon for?" a little, long haired boy greeted the older girl warmly. He didn't seemed to be older than Sei, and he was wearing a very sweet smile when he stared at Dyo.

"Yeah, we haven't look very much for it. You can update our Pokedexes, please?" Sei asked him.

"I don't have a Pokedex, Sei..." Dyo mumbled with her mid-closed eyes while taking away her glasses and getting them into the li'l box, then into her pocket.

"Now you do, you'll need it in order to record the pokemon's you catch info, or receiving info from it when you're about to" Sei explained her smiling confidently.

"I don't have a pokedex, but I know very much 'bout pokemons. Is that's usefull, I think..." answered the boy sweatdroping and nervously smiling.

"Great... You can tell me this pokemon's final evolution then?" Dyo said showing her Torchic, greeting with a vow only.

"A Torchic? Aren't you girls from Jotho? How in the world you'd got Hoenn Starters Sei?" the boy asked, greatly surprised.

The girl only smirked as enough answer.

"I see..." simply sighed Dyo and the boy sweatdroping.

"Well, its final evolution its called Blaziken, it's something like this" the boy said showing a Blaziken pic.

"Then, I think I'll call it..." Dyo started, thinking a while.

"You want to call it a name you can still use when it evolve? Very smart" complemented the boy with a smile.

"We are very smart since we borned, Tact" Sei replied to the boy with a unsatisfied espression at the aparent surprise reflected at the boy's eyes.

"... Blaze. I think I'll name him Blaze!" Dyo finally said softly punching her hand's palm with her other hand, brightly smiling.

"Tor torchic!" Blaze said. However, 'I like it!' was what Dyo heard from him.

"He likes it! AND my last birthday gift for you Dyo" Sei said, taking a pokeball marked with a leaf with a water drop falling from it.

Dyo stared amazed at the symbol at the pokeball. "Woah, beautyfull! What is it inside?" she exclamed.

"You can't guess it?" the older girl said releasing her Black Surskit.

"You'll give her a shiny pokemon?" the boy asked, staring in awe with his eyes opened wide.

Dyo flipped her head 90 degrees again, confused. Ralts poped out from his pokeball and did the same. "It's shiny?" the little girl asked.

The boy was starting to fill the pokedexes while talking "Yeah, it's a shiny one. Normal Surskits are blue" Then, he noticed the Ralts imitating Dyo "So, this is the pokemon you caught there? Sei told me you did it great"

"I did?" Dyo asked blushing, flipping her head 90º again while the Ralts imitated her.

The little boy giggled "Looks like he likes you!"

Dyo noticed then the Ralts popped out and was imitating her in fact "Oh..." she placed her hand in her forehead ashamed while Ralts did the same.

"This one can evolve in something like this" said the boy smiling, drawing a perfect Kirlia.

"Woah, its cute!" Dyo and Sei exclamed at the same time.

"This is a Kirlia, Ralts First Stage Evolution. Ralts can be hard to train 'til it learn another attacks, and until level 13 or around, it can't attack the enemy. You have to be very patient" the boy explained her gently.

"Uhm, thanks, that's just another reason that makes it perfect for my sissy" Sei thanked him.

"Its nothing. Once it learned at least Confusion, it becomes very much easier to train, and even if this things grow up quickly, not that much for the Final Evolution..." explained the boy.

"The final evolution is that cute too?" Dyo asked getting closer to the boy to see how he updated the Pokedexes.

"Judge it" the boy said, showing her a Gardevoir pic he'd just uploaded to the Pokedex.

"Woah! It's humanoid!" Dyo exclamed surprised.

"You like it? Then this will teach you to be patient, okay?" Sei told her sissy sweetly.

Dyo nodded happily and turned back to talk to the boy "If I come back here anytime, I can come here too?"

"No problem, come anytime you want" answered gently the boy while still filling the Pokedexes.

Dyo stared at the pics at the Pokedexes a while, dreamy "Yay! Cool! Err, I mean... Thanks..." but then she stoped.

"...Tactless... But you can call me Tact if you want" said the boy, Tactless. He didn't looked that tact-lacking anyway...

'I really did. I went anytime I'd wanted... But this wasn't my starting team, anyway...' I sigh.
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A while later...

"Here. The two hold now Hoenn pokemons info, and if you catch any of this ones you'll get more and maybe secrets 'bout it" Tact explained handing the girls the updated Pokedexes.

"Thanks, Tact!" the Moonlight sisters answered.

"We're going. Maybe we'll come back later. Now that little Dyo knows you, she might want to see you again then, want to Dyo?" Sei asked her little sissy gently smiling.

"Yeay! I want to see you again, Tact! You'll be here if I come back when traveling?" Dyo asked innocently.

"Uhm, I guess..." Tact said, rolling his eyes and staring at Sei as waiting for something.

"He, Tact's momy's boy! Be sure he'll be here foooreeever!" teased Sei giggling, evily grinning at Tact.

Tactless blushed and stared down to the floor.

"Don't feel down, it's just Sei-chan!" Dyo tried to cheer him up with a warm smile.

Sei looked at her watch. Dyo though it was wierd, she didn't had a watch before, or she had it? "Well, now we have to REALLY go... Bye, Tact, see you later!" Sei sweatdroped.

"Eh? Well, bye..." Dyo said a bit down.

Then Sei released her Pidgeotto and climbed up "Bye, we'll come back later! ^^ Come up, Dyo"

Sei took Dyo up, and the little girl dreamed a bit "I'd always though it would be almost miracolous to fly on my own pokemon, and all I've got to do now it's just get one and breed it... Thanks again, Tact" she waved smiling "'Bye'" Dyo finally winked at him at a last sight by veery much time...

"? . . . Those girls are one rarest than the other one..." sighed Tact sweatdroping.
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Well, very probably you know what's up, right? Or at least now you do... Or if you don't... Nono, don't PM PLEASE! I don't have time to answer PMs, except if these are REALLY VERY EXAGERATEDLY important! And, I wanna clear that when I said first that Dyo wanted to make my life imposible, I meant something like: "Me. I'm a schyzo girl. I named myself at the net Dyo. It was because of him. Yeah Me. Don't bother" I think you get it, I'm Dyo but Dyo it's also my 'alter' name so it can be confuse thing sometimes... So I specified, and now Au revoir, hope you enjoyed and are enjoying the story!
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