Tranquility - Poem

[katiekitten]

In otherwords, a water poem. Unoriginal, I know, but I had to write it on this subject. >.< I hate it when I am limited to a single topic... Ah well.

And yes, I know, no Phoenix update either. XD I am getting ready to write it, I am just having difficulty on a few plot holes that decided to crop up. >.< In the meanwhile, you can read this. XD

Enjoy! I'm not particularily proud of this, but nevermind. And I think I spent Tranquility wrong. >.< Typical. XD

And, for the final time, enjoy.


Roaring, leaping, dancing, singing,
Cascading down the mountainous slope.
Slipping, sliding, pouring, diving,
A weaving ribbon of silken rope.

Tripping, falling, skipping, dawdling,
As it nears the inevitable brink.
Screaming, shrieking, flying, twinkling,
As crystal shards from the heavens break.

Crashing, tearing, sunlight glaring,
Splashing back to its long lost home.
Sighing, drifting, twirling, sinking,
Soon again to travel alone.

Never stopping, forever flowing,
Doomed to this earth to walk,
Down every path, through every stream,
Escape just a fading dream…

Alone.

 

[whit19]

And yes, I know, no Phoenix update either. XD

Damnit. >_< She took my line.

Hmm... Not really sure what the poem was talkin about otha then... bein alone. seein the word Crystal shards reminded me of Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles at first. I guess the poem is about what a person goes through, throughout their life? No wait! That can't be it cuz we can't fly! >_> <_< Maybe its just animal life in general?

 

[Bay]

This poem is good katiekitten! I liked how you mixed internal rhyme and the nomal rhyme in this poem. Also the description in this poem is quite good.

And off topic, please update "Phoneix" soon! XD

Well, hope you have a good day!

;134;~Good night, and good luck~

 

[katiekitten]

XD Don't worry, I will be. I sorted out a MAJOR plothole yesterday that was my main staller, and am just ironing out all of the creases. The thing is with one of my characters, Jirachi, I didn't actually kow anything about him when I included him. Now I do, I have to make him fit in... Which is slightly hard. But I'm getting there.

Um... ^.^;; I guess that is why I am not so much of a poet. This poem is just about a rivers journey from a mountain top. XD I is not very insightful... Ah well.

Thanks for the review, Whit! *hugs and gives a bucket load of cookies*

XD I'm glad you liked it, Bay! My favourite part of this peom was the rhythm, although I did feel that the style got a little repetitive... Ah well. Thanks! *buries under cookies and hugs*

 

[Delphina]

And I think I spent Tranquility wrong

you spelt tranquility right but you spelt spelt wrong XD
it's amazing - what grade did you get?

 

[katiekitten]

XD Blasted typo fingers... *is about to cut them off, but thinks better of it* XD

I entered it in this poetry competition, and it didn't place. XD I'm no good at peotry...

 

[Timid Kyogre]

Aww, don't worry, you'll get better at it soon XD practice makes perfect. Trust me, this poem was better than any poem I'd write.

Never stopping, forever flowing,
Doomed to this earth to walk,
Down every path, through every stream,
Escape just a fading dream…

Alone.

Favorite part XD

~Timid Kyogre

 

[katiekitten]

Thanks Timid! *hugs* I'm sure it isn't better than yours! *keeps an eye out for one* =D

XD Yeah, practise makes perfect. I'll have a couple more goes at poetry at some point, I do keep on spouting random poetry lines. Maybe I can actually turn them into poems at some point. XD

That's my favourite part as well. =D The first part was a little repetitive with its style, I didn't really like it. But I had to write a water poem, and that was all I had. XD

Thanks again! *gives peanut butter cookie*

 

[Torkoal]

Its decent. Its rather short, so there's not much for me to review. I might advise lengthening this a bit/ other than that, i can't really tell you anything.

 

[KaMaKaZi]

i love that poem
thats all i need to say...