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Transcending Destiny (Pokemon Fantasy One-shot)

Saffire Persian

Now you see me...
This is just a short Pokemon one-shot (Rated PG). It's of the Fantasy Genre. This was a chapter out of another story of mine.. but I turned into a one-shot, as I doubt I'll ever post the story in its entirety here. As always, all comments, criticism, etc. are greatly appreciated.


Transcending Destiny
By Saffire Persian

The smell of ash and smoke choked the cool evening air, fogging up the beautiful orange and violet sunset that lay so close, yet so far into the distance. Yet, this only amplified the melancholy air that pervaded the tense atmosphere -- a kind of beauty that could only be wrought in a situation such as this. A situation of the most dire nature, with death as much a common thing as grass that lay under one’s feet. The screams of anger and pain, and the cries of triumph intertwined together in a song that was almost a palpable thing.

A cloaked figure stood upon the grassy hill, as silent and stoic as the stone dragons that lay scattered about the grassy terrain. His eyes were hard and cold, but filled with a desperate sort of determination found only in the souls who have nothing else to lose. Joel’s gaze wandered over to where the epicenter of the battle lay, some one fourth of a mile away from where he stood. Plumes of fire and lightning occasionally lit up the area, while spreads of black darkened it. It was obviously a losing battle: of course he had known this from the very start. It as a nightmare birthed into reality.

A spectral bird was in the midst of the battle, flying higher into the fiery heavens with every thrust of its rainbow colored wings. It glowed with all the majesty of a God, trilling melodically before sending the very fires of retribution raining down upon the blackened land and its inhabitants. Even from this great distance, Joel could see the tiniest detail of the bird, even if only perfectly in his mind. It was watching him even now with those malevolent eyes, cold and mocking. He was sure of it.

It was laughing at him.

Joel jerked his gaze away, gritting his teeth in anger and frustration, his hands finally coming to rest upon his sword hilt; the temptation to jerk it out of its sheathe and swing it at the nearest object was great. But now was not the time.

A figure was dashing up the hill toward him, at an almost inhuman speed. Joel recognized the figure immediately, a sudden glimmer of warmth coming into his green eyes. The approaching form was a haggard one, despite looking to be in his early twenties. His clothes were spotted with blood, and his boyish face was pale and worn, though it still retained a kind of youthful cheerfulness found in the faces of teenage youth. Both men made eye contact with one another, and the younger one’s pace slowed.

He approached Joel, his face drawn and tired. He was breathing hard, and was obviously nervous, looking back over his shoulder every few moments. The cloaked man nodded slowly, allowing his companion a moment to regain his composure and breath. He could already guess what was going on in the element-strewn battlefield, without even having to look. He had seen it all before, in dreams, as well as reality. He knew the true power behind the rows of gleaming feathers and savage talons.

Finally, once he deemed his friend had regained some of his strength, he spoke. “Did you get it, Conan?” he demanded, voice harsh and rough. His friend looked up, his boyish face looking rather indignant.

“Of course I did,” Conan replied, pulling out an object from the pocket of his own cloak, “wouldn’t have come back if I hadn’t.”

“I know.” Joel gently took the object from Conan’s hands, looking at it with unconstrained awe and reverence. For years – years upon years – he had been searching relentlessly for this item: it was a flute, looking centuries old, if not eons. Carved by hand and infused by magic by ancestors whose bones had long been put into the earth, Joel could feel the ancient aura radiating from this magical object. The pulse was strong and forceful, like a heartbeat - which was strange, coming from an object that looked so old and brittle that it might crumble into dust at the slightest touch. It was one of last of its kind, a memento of a time long forgotten, though few knew its true powers.

“It wasn’t the easiest object to find, you know,” Conan continued. His friend could never stand silence. “Had to steal it.”

Joel's eyes lingered on Conan’s face, taking in his friend’s attempt at lightening the atmosphere, before turning back to the Time Flute as he rolled it over in his hands, noticing the careful white Unown engravings running along the side. With another brief glance, Joel decided to humor him. “It couldn’t have been that hard to steal it from some old man –“

Woman,” Conan corrected, flashing a rather wolfish grin. Joel’s eyebrows rose. “She’s still after my head. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, they say.”

A grin tugged at Joel’s lips, but he did not smile back. “Indeed.”

Conan sighed. “Listen.” Conan's look became a serious one as he looked anxiously over his shoulder again. “It’s coming, they won’t be able to hold it for much longer. Are you absolutely certain you want to do this? The Flute can only be used once.”

With Joel's right hand now clutching the Time Flute in a gentle embrace, his left strayed, coming to rest over the sheath where the sword rested, waiting to be withdrawn. Memories of a time long past surfaced involuntarily, as his hand lingered, making him wince, but they only made him more determined, resolute. His companion’s gaze was different, Joel noticed, as he stared at the younger man: he could see his friend’s faltering gaze, though Conan was trying to hide it.

It was Joel's turn to sigh.

“Even after all this time, do you still not trust me?”

The words had been harsh, harsher than he intended, but they had hit the mark. The young man was stung, and his gaze fell from his, but only for a moment. Joel knew that his question was unfounded, that his companion’s loyalty to him was absolute. Now, he wished he hadn’t brought it up, as the young man’s steely golden eyes met his. There was a tinge of anger in them, now, though the sorrow reflected in them was more pronounced. Of course, in times like these, when was there not?

“You know I trust you I – it’s just . . .”

“You just do not like my plans?”

The younger man winced, looking guilty. “It’s just . . . it feels so wrong. We’re toying with the threads of Fate, and if we’re not careful, we’ll end up strangling ourselves. I understand how you’re feeling, but I can’t help but wonder ‘is it really worth it?’”

“It is worth everything!” Joel snapped, face becoming savage. His mind would hear no argument. “Everything! Nothing else in this dying world matters! You understand just as well as I do why we’re doing –”

“I understand why I’m doing it. I’m doing it to help a dear friend who I would give my life for.” The golden eyes softened. “But I can’t help but wonder if I’ll be doing more harm than good. It’s like . . .” he paused. “It’s like taking away the Mightyena from a forest. The Stantler may flourish for awhile, but without the Mightyena to balance them out, they eventually die.”

“They will die, and everything else with it, if we allow things to go on as they are. Would you prefer to allow the world to be how it is now?” Anger abated, Joel sighed, the feeling of weariness draping over him like the cloak he wore. He allowed his body to slump against one of the stone dragons, and the flute to roll out of his hand and onto the dead grass. He then looked absently at his hands, covered with scars. They looked much too worn and callused for one of only twenty-nine. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the look of deep concern emanating from his friend’s eyes.

“I can’t accomplish this without you," Joel began. "If there was any possible way that I could, I would do so. But as things stand, I can’t. I need you with me, but I can’t have you questioning my every decision. One moment's hesitation, one single miscalculation can bring everything I’ve worked to achieve . . .”

Gentle laughter cut him off, and a hand was offered. He took it, letting himself be pulled to his feet. Conan was also holding the ancient flute, glancing at it briefly, before offering it to its owner.

“I know that. I just wanted make sure you were certain. But what happens if your plan fails?”

There was a hint of humor in that last comment, so slight and subtle, most would have missed it. The atmosphere seemed to brighten in a small degree, and Joel allowed himself a thin smile. The ambience quickly darkened once more, as his emerald eyes spotted an elegant golden figure sprinting across the plain at great speed. The avatar of the east wind would reach them in a matter of minutes.

The time had come.

Joel didn’t answer at first, bringing the Time Flute to his lips. For a moment, time stilled as the melody, hesitant and wary at first, grew in volume at a rapid crescendo. It swirled and echoed through the atmosphere, its tune both jovial and melancholy at the same time. For a moment – a single moment in the eternities – the rest of the world sang with it, before ebbing away into a passing breath of wind.

A swirling mass was now appearing in the dusty sky just in front of him, twisting and writhing as it strove to take on a tangible form. Green and gold light emanated from the swirling vortex, the body emerging from it becoming more discernable as the moments – faster than they actually seemed – wore on. Finally, the glowing being took on a recognizable form, its body wavering into existence. It was faerie-like, with eyes as innocent as a newborn child, yet the aura that radiated around it was full of an ancient wisdom that could never fully be explored. In the background of it all, the angry roar of the feline, now running in a headlong dash toward them, reverberated. Joel could see its yellow eyes now narrowing into slits, while a snarl emerged on its muzzle as it reached the crest of the hill.

Joel turned to legendary creature as it hovered before him, looking about the war-torn land with a mixture of sadness and horror. It sensed his gaze, turning its head to stare at him, gossamer wings buzzing. For a small moment, the avatar of time was his to command.

Aid me. Take us back.

The faerie ascended into the air, just as the tiger let out a loud, thunderous yowl of anger and frustration. Joel’s eyes finally met with Conan's just as the scenery around them began to blur, now tinged with a golden light.

“If my plan fails,” he replied levelly, “then death will be my apology.”

++End++

As always, reviews are appreciated.
 
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Ryano Ra

Verdant Vitality
o.o...

O.O...

*tips hat into deep satisfaction and recognition*

I must say, Saffire Persian, you are an excellent writer. This has definitely gave me a lot of inspiration to continue writing Chapter 18 of Rhapsody, for there was so much fantasy elements. Now, I am definitely feel the urge to write endlessly this night upon reading it, because I just love so many fantasy elements and such. The beautiful scenery in the beginning of the one-shot just blew me away, for it was a divine scene. ^^

I feel so lucky that you dedicated this to me. ;_; It was well-written, just like the ranks of the fantasy authors. ^^ Fantastic, and I hope to see a lot of more fantasy short stories and chaptered novels from you in the future. Fantasy here, fantasy there, fantasy east, and fantasy west. Fantasy everywhere abound the imagination ship! X3 *gibbers ancient, rusted tongues of the old fantasy Riders.*
 
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Sike Saner

Peace to the Mountain
Amazing. Gorgeously described, gorgeously flowing. Characters who, with only the short time alotted by a one-shot to do so, succeed in capturing my interest - human characters that capture my interest so effectively, no less - that is saying something, considering how much I do tend to prefer Pokémon characters. Plus, what you have here happens to contain a formula that is like a literary drug: Leaving much to the imagination, but not too much. Somehow, you painted a rich, vivid picture, and yet gave the reader plenty to wonder about. I know I'm already concocting little "what if"s to answer what it was that compelled Joel and Conan to summon Celebi.

Favorite parts:

We’re toying with the threads of Fate, and if we’re not careful, we’ll end up strangling ourselves.

Either that is the most quotable quote I have read in recent memory...

“If my plan fails,” he replied levelly, “then death will be my apology.”

...or else that is. Do you realize just how cool both of those are? You really seem to have a sense for which words sound really, really good together. I wonder if you have ever written or considered writing lyrics?


Gorgeous, solid work, this. *bows* Very well done. ^_^
 

Saffire Persian

Now you see me...
I tend to prefer Pokemon characters, too, as you know.. And Lyrics? XD.. No.. I don't think I could write music at all... I can somewhat make music on a computer program (as you know) but that's about it. ^^ Thanks both of you.. I appreciate the comments.
 

IceKing

Sexorific!
But, this Fantasy One-Shot is dedicated to him - and may he overcome his stumbling block with Chapter 18 of Rhapsody , and find inspiration, for I want to read it, dang it!
[/QUOTE]

Tell him to post his chapters right away like me damn it! No need to wait for it to get finished before posting. He has 18 weeks to get over his writing block XD

It was a nightmare birthed into reality.

It glowed with all the majesty of a God, trilling melodically before sending the very fires of retribution raining down upon the blackened land and its inhabitants. Even from this great distance, Joel could see the tiniest detail of the bird, even if only perfectly in his mind. It was watching him even now with those malevolent eyes, cold and mocking. He was sure of it.

Nice description and vocab!

it still retained a kind of youthful cheerfulness found in the faces of teenage youth.

Ehh, don't repeat youth twice.

Conan continued.

Ugg, now I'm going to think Conan O Brian which wont exactly fit the tone...

For a small moment, the avatar of time was his to command.

What does avatar mean here?

The smell of ash and smoke choked the cool evening air, fogging up the beautiful orange and violet sunset that lay so close, yet so far into the distance. Yet, this only amplified the melancholy air that pervaded the tense atmosphere -- a kind of beauty that could only be wrought in a situation such as this.

Compared to the rest of the one shot, I don't know this just feels a bit weaker in level. Though that doesn't mean it isn't good ^_^

That was a WONDERFUL one shot, though I really think it works better as a chapter to a fanfiction because it doesn't really have any huge underlying themes and impact that most fantasy one shots have. You had wonderful vocabulary use, understandable in context as well and the descriptions were utterly fantastic. Again (I said this in a previous review), why is it that the person ALWAYS has to be cloaked? Why not wearing a shawl or veil.... I didn't really like the names Joel and Conan, in my opinion their connotations didn't really fit this fic. Perhaps Malachai and Agammenon XD??? (Dont you dare use those btw, they are my favorite male names!) Another thing I noticed in this fic is how you referred to things the way they were after descritption without having it included it dialogue or description: Time flute, joel, conan. I'm not sure if that's a bad thing or good thing; personally, I liked it that way. Very interesting overall, Conan striked some good points on how fixing things by going back into time is flawed, especially with the analogy of Miteyena and Stantler. You are a very gifted author, I cant wait to read requiem of a Dream (I just released that the word is OF not FOR so the movie thing no longer will make me feel uncomfortable). And my final comment is was the figure that came a Celebi, because the description made it seem more like a monster rather than the gentle, impish faerie that it is.

Overall: AWESOME JOB! Beautiful writing, definetely a 5 star rating!
 

Saffire Persian

Now you see me...
Thanks for reviewing, IceKing.... I agree, it's more of an actual chapter to a story - which it was, I just converted it into a one-shot.

It was a nightmare birthed into reality.

XD Thanks for pointing out that dang typo... *fixes*


it still retained a kind of youthful cheerfulness found in the faces of teenage youth.

Ehh, don't repeat youth twice.

o.o i did... *goes to find a synonym*


Conan continued.

Ugg, now I'm going to think Conan O Brian which wont exactly fit the tone...

I chose Conan for a different reason. xD I chose it for its meaning, because it means "little wolf"... though the reason why it fits doesn't really come into life here.

For a small moment, the avatar of time was his to command.

What does avatar mean here?

I can explain:

Avatar: (Definition) An embodiment, as of a quality or concept; an archetype: the very avatar of cunning.

In other words, I portray Celebi as the Avatar of time - as it is portrayed in the Animé in a sense, though I'm not sure how familiar you are with that. It's the same with the Legendary Beasts - which are "Avatars of the Wind", which I took from Suicune's Pokedex Entry that says something along the lines "Suicune is the embodiment of the North Wind".. So Raikou became East, Entei West.

Quote:
The smell of ash and smoke choked the cool evening air, fogging up the beautiful orange and violet sunset that lay so close, yet so far into the distance. Yet, this only amplified the melancholy air that pervaded the tense atmosphere -- a kind of beauty that could only be wrought in a situation such as this.

Compared to the rest of the one shot, I don't know this just feels a bit weaker in level. Though that doesn't mean it isn't good ^_^

Really? *blinks and surveys*

why is it that the person ALWAYS has to be cloaked?

Shawls are for women.. IMO. Plus, they're travelling, which are what cloacks are primarily used for - and they're trying to keep a bit of secrecy and such.. though the One-shot doesn't go too far into that.. Oh! XD I can guarantee you that old woman Conan was talking about was wearing a shawl..

Perhaps Malachai and Agammenon XD??? (Dont you dare use those btw, they are my favorite male names!)

Won't use them.. XD Neither or those names would fit Conan - which I find to be a rather youthful name.. which wouldn't fit Conan. Joel does actually have biblical connotations... like Malchai has. o.o

Another thing I noticed in this fic is how you referred to things the way they were after descritption without having it included it dialogue or description: Time flute, joel, conan.

o.o Well, I did describe the flute as what it was before announcing it as the time flute... Conan was referred to in dialogue at first.. Joel wasn't XD


fixing things by going back into time is flawed,

*hand cookie* You got what they were trying to do. XD

And my final comment is was the figure that came a Celebi, because the description made it seem more like a monster rather than the gentle, impish faerie that it is.

It could be considered a monster XD.. But I was trying to pull off a slightly gentler perspective.. I'll fix that later.

Thanks for the review!
 

BenJS

Happily Ignorant
I take ho-oh finally judged that humanity and pokemon/nature could not properly coexist, after all in the games it's said that the bird waits to pass judgment on humanity, sending the three beasts to watch over the world, or something like that.

Tis good, can't say much more than what has been already.
 
M

mindripper

Guest
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

Haha, well said, I can attest to that one!

he had been searching relentlessly for this item: it was a flute, looking centuries old, if not eons.

The latter portion is not worded well, and does not flow.

In the background of it all, the angry roar of the feline, now running in a headlong dash toward them, reverberated.

I did not really like this one as well.

Hey you did well with this one. The first couple of paragraphs were graphically rendered, and had the necessary fantastical elements. However, I cannot say I fully comprehend the gravity of the current situation which causes your character to want to go back through time. Perhaps you could have explained the possible ramifications etc as well?
 

Saffire Persian

Now you see me...
*nods* I agree with you on that - and it's my fault as well, considering I took this from a chaptered story of mine, and converted it into a one-shot, which, as you can see, did not take on the one-shot element completely. However,

Thanks a ton for the review!
 

billy5772

SENIOR
Hey, SP, cool one-shot. The description's were, overall, very nice and I am one of Ho-oh's biggest fans, so you had me hooked with both description and that firebird from the very first paragraph. I don't know if I'm just being really dense at forever o' clock in the morning [over here] or what, but I really couldn't appreciate what you were trying to say with this one-shot. I get the whole 'messing with destiny' thing, but it wasn't emphasized enough through the fic. I agree that you should've elaborated on Joel's plan and what the possible ramifications were, too. I mean, if it's Ho-oh judging the world, what was he gonna go back in the past and stop it by doing? I don't know. OH! And when that guy, Conan, showed up, I immediately thought of the most hilarious late-night talk show host on television, Conan O'brien! Anyway, good one shot, and good night!
 

Saffire Persian

Now you see me...
I thought I had responded to this a looong time ago. Anyway, it's nice to see you reviewing again, Billy, it had been awhile. ^^ And I agree with what you pointed out, but it was made quite quickly, and as I stated, it was part of a chaptered Fantasy novel.. But yeah.. not everything converted as well as I liked. Thanks for your reivew!
 
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