1. We have moved to a new forum system. All your posts and data should have transferred over. Welcome, to the new Serebii Forums. Details here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Be sure to join the discussion on our discord at: Discord.gg/serebii
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If you're still waiting for the e-mail, be sure to check your junk/spam e-mail folders
    Dismiss Notice

True Love Never Fades (Altoshipping - PG)

Discussion in 'Shipping Fics' started by wayc, Sep 28, 2008.

  1. wayc

    wayc Latias Fanatic!!!

    Author's Notes: This is my first serious attempt at writing any kind of fanfic. I originally was going to wait until I finished this thing before posting it, but then it would be a HUUUGE post and have much less interactivity to it.

    I'll post the Prologue and Chapter 1 for now and update every day until I run out and have to start writing more, when the updates will become less frequent. I hope everyone enjoys. Nobody's posted a serious Altoshipping fic here in quite a long time.

    Also, it takes place 8 years after Pokémon Heroes, so I suppose it's a bit of a dimension of my own creation. Is that enough of a disclaimer, or do I have to say I don't own Pokémon? I don't. And I'm broke. And now on to the story...

    True Love Never Fades
    by wayc


    With a loud whistle, a red and white blur cut through the air at a break-neck pace, coming to a complete stop at the top of a large stone building. There dangling from the rafters was a Raticate hanging on for dear life.

    “HELP MEEEE!” the Raticate could only scream to the guardian of Altomare before his grip fell slack and he started falling like a bomb to the treacherous rocky ground thirty stories below. A loud scream could be heard from beneath them as he plummeted.

    With great concern, but a clear mind focused on the impending severity of the situation, Latias dove down and watched the ground rush at her as she hurried to beat the falling Raticate to the ground. Equaling his falling velocity and pushing herself to the limit, she rushed forward and pulled out of the dive at the last second before hitting the ground, having just enough time to fly forward for the Raticate to land on her back with a heavy thump. Ignoring the pain of the impact, Latias cried out in a loud victory chirp, happy to have averted disaster and to have saved the Raticate.

    “Are you okay?” asked Latias sweetly with a touch of worry in her voice.

    “Yes... yes... I think so,” responded the obviously shaken Raticate. “All thanks to you. If you hadn't caught me, I surely would have hit a jagged rock and found my death. Oh dear me, that would not have been good.”

    As the Raticate clambered down Latias' back to the ground, another Raticate that was very pregnant came clambering up with tears in her eyes and hugged the other Raticate close to her.

    “BABY!!! You're safe. Thank the stars.” After they hugged and cooed at each other for several moments, the female Raticate turned to face her lover's savior. “Thank you so much for saving my mate. If it wasn't for you, he would be gone entirely from my life. I don't think I could have handled that, especially with the new baby on the way. We owe you everything!”

    Latias blushed. “Oh, please don't thank me. It's the least I could do. I'm happy to do what I can for everyone,” she insisted as she hovered silently half a foot from the ground, reaching up with one of her clawed arms to smooth out her feathers.

    “Don't be silly,” chimed in the Raticate that had been rescued. He whispered a few words to the other Raticate and she nodded before he readdressed Latias. “What you have done for our family will never be forgotten. In fact, though we can't exactly name our unborn son after you, we would be very happy if you were to choose his name, for without you, he would have grown up without a father.”

    Latias' eyes widened in flattered surprise. “I really don't deserve such an honor as to name your child. I wouldn't even know what to suggest.”

    The pregnant Raticate smiled sweetly. “Is there really not any name that comes to mind? A relative or a loved one perhaps?”

    Latias stopped for a moment and didn't move a muscle as she seemed to get lost in thought and inner-turmoil. Finally, she spoke. “Ash.”

    Chapter 1

    “PIKACHU, DODGE THAT HYPER BEAM AND USE A FULL-ON OFFENSIVE ASSAULT VOLT TACKLE LIKE WE PRACTICED!” screamed a young man of 22 with shoulder length pointy looking black hair who was sporting a green sweater vest over a white t-shirt and long slightly torn blue jeans. There was a highly determined look on his face as beads of sweat from being out in the hot sun for several hours ran down his cheeks. Around him the combined gasps of a full crowd in an enormous stadium resounded.

    “CHU PI!” the fatigued Pikachu screamed back in acknowledgment and leapt away right as a very powerful and violent beam slammed against where she had been standing only a moment before. With the incredible agility of an exceedingly well-trained and cared for Pikachu, she landed safely on her hind legs and without wasting a single moment, placed her front feet on the ground and took off in a running frenzy toward the frustrated and tired looking Exploud, her body temperature heating up as she began glowing an opaque yellow, sparks shooting from her cheeks.

    Before Pokémon Master Renée could shout out another command for her Exploud, Pikachu had made direct contact with the Exploud's stomach. With a sick electrical lurch and a loud roar from the Exploud, he went flying 5 feet into the air while static yellow shock erupted around his body. Landing on his side in the mud with a heavy crash just as Pikachu landed four feet away on her feet, he groaned and slid for several moments. Looking up at his trainer, he saw the look of panic and alarm on her face. He slowly got to his feet in a very tired and pained manner, glaring at the Pikachu that was struggling with her own composure, a fierce red glow of contempt and derision in his eyes. Faltering, he fell over on his side, eyes spiraled, fainted.

    Struggling and shaking badly, Pikachu turned around to face Ash with a look of utmost love and affection in her eyes. In that short moment Ash could see that she truly understood that everything they had ever worked for in the past 11 years had come to fruition and together they had finally achieved their ultimate goal in life. He looked at her in return with such adoration and pride, his trademark grin appearing for her.

    “Pika-pi...” was all she could softly muster before toppling over on her side, fainted.

    Until this moment, the crowd had become dead-silent. When realization dawned on them of what had just happened, the whole arena began to shake and explode in loud cheers. Still in shock, Ash stood there for a moment staring at his fainted Pikachu as Renée looked at her Exploud and frowned.

    “Good work, Exploud. You did amazingly,” she said before holding out a Pokéball and pointing it at him. “Return.” A beam of red light shot out of the device and collected the fainted Pokémon, transferring him back within. It was then that Ash did something unprecedented by any newly titled Pokémon Master before him. He climbed over the trainer platform and dropped into the field and ran toward his Pikachu. He picked her up in his arms, cradled her close to his chest, and immediately began administering medicine to her wounds. “You were incredible, Pikachu.”

    The loud amplified voice of the referee cut through the loud cheering. “This 6 on 6 Pokémon Master Battle has ended. Both parties have whited out. Renée's Exploud was first to faint by a few seconds, so the match will go to Ash Ketchum of Pallet Town, Kanto. This officially ends Renée Hostetter's of Azalea Town, Johto, eight year occupation of the title world champion. That title will now succeed to Ash Ketchum.”

    The cheering of the crowd that was almost deafening before now suddenly picked up in decibels even more. It wasn't very often that a new champion was declared, and the audience there was able to witness this momentous occasion in person.

    Ash could hardly believe his ears. The thing that he wanted most since before he could remember was now his. A flashback of being 5 and running around with his imaginary Pokémon gracefully battling for him before his mother cheerfully declared him champion of the universe ran through his head. It didn't seem real to him at all. Snapping out of it and tuning out the loud raucous cheers of the crowd and the referee, preoccupied with hopes of getting away to make sure his Pokémon were all right, he almost missed when it was announced where the World Champion crowning ceremony would take place.
  2. wayc

    wayc Latias Fanatic!!!

    Chapter 2

    Latias sat at her fountain within the Secret Garden and let the warm water gently tickle her claw as it trickled past. She no longer changed herself to appear as a human anymore. Preferring to become Shadow Latias and view the town that way at all times, she had also stopped attending the Tour De Altomare every year for the past eight. She just didn't feel like participating in much but her duties as guardian of Altomare ever since that day nine years ago when she had lost both her brother and the only boy she had ever loved.

    While lost in thought, a mint green Latios had flown up beside her and watched her, curiously. She looked up and regarded him with a warm chirp and started delicately preening the feathers on her wings with her mouth, her sparkling golden eyes somewhat glancing at him every so often as he stared.

    “I still don't understand you,” the Latios finally commented after a long and awkward silence. “You live in a beautiful island paradise around many people who care about you; Pokémon who respect and idolize you, and humans that are in awe about your legendary status. However, you seem unhappy all the time. I offer to make you happy and become your mate, but for the past 5 years straight since I got here, you rebuff my advances even though I am a very special Pokémon that is rare among the rare and that any other Latias would kill to have. You tell me it's been 9 years since any family trauma. There has to be something else wrong.”

    Latias sighed softly and stopped preening to make full eye-contact with him. “I appreciate that you are so interested in me and my past. You've been really nice to me over the years and I don't want you to think I'm arrogant or anything, but I'm just not interested. Had you met me when I was young and with my brother, I probably would have been enamored. I hate to sound rude, as it's entirely against my nature, but we've had this discussion several times before. I hope that we can still be friends, though. I am happy to have your company here in such a way.”

    The Latios shrugged as best a Latios can and broke eye-contact with her. “You are a very strange Latias and I can't stop thinking about you, but if that's the way it has to be, I guess I can understand.” He shook his wings indignantly and turned around to fly off in the opposite direction, out of her garden.

    Latias sighed again and hovered over to her swing set and gently placed herself on the seat and rocked herself back and forth, holding on to the ropes with her claws. She thought about how it was the very same swing set in which she revealed herself to Ash when she was a more youthful Latias with a heavy infatuation. Little did she know then that it would turn into full-blown love even after so long into her adulthood. It wasn't like she thought about him constantly, but it would get especially hard for her to function all by herself in the season in which all the other Latios and Latias paired up and started families, along with all the other Pokémon that lived in Altomare.

    She had had and rejected plenty of opportunities to find a mate and start a family because her heart still belonged to none other than her beloved Ash. She knew that she had fallen so deeply in love with this human that she would sacrifice having a family and continue waiting for something that just could never be. She had never told another soul why she seemed so unhappy much of the time. Everyone just thought that it was her brother's death afflicting her even though it seemed odd that her mourning could last so long and that she hadn't made peace with it yet.

    On many occasions, the Latios from before had offered to take over her duties as current Guardian of Altomare so that she could leave a place that seemed to make her so unhappy, but she refused him that as well. She just didn't feel she had anywhere else to go, and to find Ash after so much time seemed ridiculous. So much had changed for him since they were together. He'd met all kinds of people and Pokémon in his travels that she was certain that he would not even remember who she was. She preferred to live in the memory of his arm draped around her neck and her cuddling close to him after her brother had died, and the look on his face when she had kissed him and run away the next morning. She didn't want to think about the feeling of pain she would have to endure of finding him only to see a blank stare on his face as to who she was.

    It was then for the first time ever in her life that she began to feel anger. How could you leave me here?!, she thought to herself. You just came into my life, showed me incredible love and kindness that probably no other human or Pokémon alike could show another, and then left as quickly as you'd come.

    Thinking about how loving and kind he was melted away her anger instantly. She hovered there in shock that she could ever be affected so badly that she could feel anger for anyone so lovely as he. Letting her golden eyes begin to leak with tears and ignoring them as they streamed down her face, she thought, Why didn't you ever come back for me? Why, Ash, why? I love you. I want to take care of you and be there for you. Will you ever come back to me?

    As if to cosmically answer her question, she noticed a familiar woman, a long-time friend running up to her with long flowing brown hair tucked neatly under a beret. Latias quickly dried her tears and regained her composure as Bianca stopped in front of her.

    “Latias, you have to see this!!! Come quickly!” She took off in a sprint back toward their small cottage, Latias flying closely behind and mulling over what could possibly be so important that Bianca would come get her and be running around. Bianca was usually a very calm and not easily excitable person.

    When they arrived inside the house, Latias stared at Bianca in confusion. Bianca then pointed at the television set and said, “Look!” Latias turned her gaze toward the TV and suddenly stopped cold. There on the TV set was a man with a Pikachu, directing her moves in battle. She studied his features and could tell without a doubt that this man was her Ash, only older, in different apparel, and without the trademark hat. She could feel her heart thumping wildly, and a warmth spread around her entire body as she watched him.

    The scene unfolding on the TV was a replay of Ash's battle that made him champion earlier that day. A narrator was speaking and once Latias regained her senses, she began to listen; “You've heard right. The world champion is now Ash Ketchum of Pallet Town, Kanto. In a battle against the former champion today, he made it through with a win that clearly showed his abilities as a trainer were good enough to make him the best in the world. The awards ceremony that will officially bestow upon him the title of Master Champion will occur on May 27th in the beautiful island city of Altomare.”

    Latias stopped listening after that as her heart had practically stopped. She suddenly felt woozy and had to land on the ground to keep from fainting. She looked around frantically in search of a calendar. She had never taken much interest before in the way humans kept track of time, but suddenly it seemed like the most important thing in the world. Finally spotting an electrical clock with the date, she read, “May 20.” It was almost too much to take. Ash would finally be here again for the first time in 9 years in only seven solar cycles.

    Bianca turned around and looked at Latias expectantly. “Isn't that amazing? That nice kid who wandered into our garden a decade ago is going to be here again, except he's all grown up now.” She turned back to watch him on TV. “I wonder if he still has my picture. Maybe we'll get to see him again! Though, I wouldn't get my hopes up too high as now he seems to be the most important person on the planet. He's really cute now too. Wow.”

    Latias felt a small twinge of jealousy at Bianca's last remark, but let it go as she knew that Bianca had become somewhat of a boy-crazy flirt in her teenage years and it hadn't gone away even though she was 23. She quietly slipped out the door and flew back out toward her garden, arriving at the highest point she could find to look out over the city and think for a while. When dusk approached, she ruffled her feathers and made her way down to her favorite tree and landed on a large branch, curling up to sleep.
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2008
  3. Undead_soul

    Undead_soul What's the matter?

    Well Latias in love with Ash. i wonder how Ash is going to react to this?

    Anyway im looking forward to chp3. this is getting very interesting.
  4. wayc

    wayc Latias Fanatic!!!

    Heeeey! Thanks for commenting. ^.^ I'm glad someone's actually reading this. I hope you'll continue to enjoy it. :)

    Chapter 3

    In her dream, Latias saw nothing but a heavenly blue in all directions. She could tell that her psychic abilities were at work while she slept, something that rarely happened. She felt really alert and knew that something momentous was about to transpire.

    As if to prove her right, she spied a figure in the distance slowly coming toward her. Squinting to make out the outline of a Latios coming toward her, she gasped when he finally came close enough to see his face.

    “Brother,” she managed breathlessly.

    “My sister, it has been quite a long time,” Latios said in a deep comforting voice that sent nostalgic shivers down Latias' spine and caused her eyes to well up for the second time that day. “I saw what you did for that Raticate earlier today and I'm so very proud of you. You have grown into a very responsible and caring adult Latias.”

    Flattered, Latias vocalized and flew up to nuzzle the aura of her dearly departed brother. He craned his neck around hers. “It's my duty to protect Altomare and its inhabitants,” she said simply.

    Latios nipped at her neck lightly. “Oh, sister. I've seen you unhappy for far too long. It's that boy Ash, isn't it? I saw the way that you looked at him and sensed how you felt when close to him. I'm psychic too, don't you remember? You had never been happier in your life when with him. You were even stronger and more brave around him. I could see that he had a very positive influence on you, turning you from a playful hyper girl into a woman that could sacrifice it all to protect the ones she loved when called upon. Now you seem to have retained that maturity, but you just aren't the happy or playful Latias you were before. I didn't like you associating with him at first, but I came to see how pure of a soul that human has and started to secretly hope that you would stay with him and be happy.”

    Latias gazed up at him with sparkling tear-filled eyes. She couldn't believe that he knew the secret of her love that she had been hiding for so very long. She should have known, as he had pretty much raised her himself. Also, she was in shock that she had had her brother's blessing all along.

    She decided to finally let it all out as she choked back sobs. “Oh brother, how could I have thought you didn't know? It is him. He is the love of my life. He had such an incredible impact on me. The way he smiles, the way he cares, the way he walks, everything about him just felt so right when he was with me. When we touched, I felt safer than I ever had before in my life. He sent sensations through me that felt so out of this world that I was convinced that we were connected psychically.

    “But now... it's too late. I blew it. He left and I couldn't find a way to tell him how I felt. I was too scared and confused by my own feelings. When they didn't go away, I realized that I was stuck. I had to be Guardian of Altomare until someone was willing to take my place. By the time someone offered, I was so wrapped up in my own sorrow and fear that he'd not even remember me, I just gave up. And now it's too late. Far too late.” She held on to her brother and finally broke into loud dragon sobs.

    Latios wrapped his arm around his sister and let her cry for a while, gently rubbing her back. When she finally stopped and looked at him embarrassed and miserable, he spoke. “It's never too late. I don't think there's any kind of chance that he has forgotten about you. You saved his life and he yours. You are connected through that. He is coming back to Altomare for a short time. It is a sign that you were meant to be together. I came tonight to encourage you to take advantage of your one opportunity to be truly happy. You deserve that and so much more.”

    Latias blinked a few times and gazed at her brother with love and appreciation. “Thank you so much, brother. You have given me hope whereas I had only given myself despair. I will find him when he comes and discover a way to finally profess to him how I feel.” Latias nodded with determination as she spoke.

    Latios grinned proudly. “Now that's the Latias I've always known.” He gently lifted up his clawed blue arm and carefully wiped away the remnants of her tears. “I'm sorry my dear sister, but I'm afraid that now I must part from you once again.” His image broke and slowly his aura began to separate and glisten into a mist.

    His sister whined. “No, brother, please! I still need you. Don't go!” She frantically flew around the mist, trying to put it back together.

    “Fret not, Latias. We will be reunited again someday. Until then, enjoy your life to the fullest. Be with Ash. Fulfill your inner purpose. I love you always,” Latios whispered from seemingly faraway before drifting away into nothingness.

    Latias whimpered for a moment in the dark, but quickly regained the bravery and determination her brother had restored. She then awakened.
  5. Undead_soul

    Undead_soul What's the matter?

    So this chapter is all about Latias and her brother Latios. I'm glad that you meantion that.

    And this chapter is also al about Latias dream. this really shows that Latias really loves Ash.

    I really want to know what Ash would react to this. ^_^

    Anyway can't wait for the next chapter.
  6. *~Aipom Star~*

    *~Aipom Star~* 5 Years Time~

    Great! I love it. I agree - I wanna see how Ash reacts!

    One thing though - isn't Pikachu male? You put him as female...
  7. wayc

    wayc Latias Fanatic!!!

    Chapter 4

    Hey, I'm glad you're enjoying it! ^^ Latias can use all the support she can get in winning Ash's heart! ^-^

    Ahhh, Pikachu. I know that it's more likely than not she's male in the animé, but for the purposes of this fic I thought it would be a lot more cute if she were a girl. You might catch one of those reasons in this chapter. ;)

    Glad you liked that! It was actually the kind of scene I had running in my head before I even started writing this. I imagined Latias somehow psychically connecting with Latios in a dream and finally for the first time admitting openly her love for Ash. I wanted to make it very cathartic and touching and I think I achieved that.

    This next chapter was the most fun to write and a bit of a change of pace from the last one. I really wanted to show both characters' separate and individual lives so it would make it more exciting when they finally do meet up again. Bear with me. ^^ It's also the last chapter I have already written, so if there's anything anyone wants to see in a future chapter, let me know.

    On we go!

    Chapter 4

    Three nights later, Ash smiled as he watched his six champion Pokémon gleefully chowing down on the expensive food he had bought them with part of the P150,000 he had acquired for becoming the reigning champ. Pikachu finished early and wiped off her mouth before she eagerly ran through a doorway toward Ash and climbed up his leg, stomach, and chest to perch herself on his shoulder. He giggled as she then tickled his cheek by happily rubbing her own furry little cheek against it, her red electricity sacs giving him minuscule little shocks.

    “Awww. Looks like you enjoyed the chow, buddy. You really deserved it,” Ash said chuckling at her as Delia walked into his once inhabited childhood room.

    Her eyes watered at what she saw. “Oh Ashy dear, I can't believe that it was around this time 11 years ago that you were here all excited about becoming a trainer and getting your first Pokémon on your quest to become the champ, and now you're here again and you've done it! My very own son. My only son.” She suddenly burst into tears. “Wait there. I have something for you,” she instructed as she left the room.

    Ash and Pikachu sweatdropped with each other before Ash got down on his hands and knees and felt around under his bed. He pulled out a disgusting mold-covered slice of pizza sitting under six layers of dust. “EWWWWWWW!!!” he yelled as he flung it across the room and gagged. Trying again, he pulled out a dusty shoe box. Lifting the lid off the box and cringing at the musty smell, Ash and Pikachu peered in. Reaching in, Ash pulled out a dirty aged photograph of a teenager with short-cropped black hair holding a Pokéball, a familiar determined look etched across his face.

    “Piiii kaaaa,” uttered Pikachu in awed wonder, looking from the picture, to Ash, back to the picture again.

    “That was my dad,” said Ash suddenly. “He's the one that inspired me to train and befriend Pokémon in the first place.”

    “Chaaaaaa,” remarked Pikachu to the photograph in appreciation.

    Just then, Delia walked into the room again holding up a very snappy looking tuxedo. Pikachu and Ash looked up at her. “It was your father's,” she said before pausing. “I think you should wear it for the award ceremony and being inducted into the Hall Of Fame. There's bound to be a lot of media and photographers there and I don't want them thinking you were raised by Poochyenas.”

    “Ahh, uhh, I suppose that's reasonable,” remarked Ash.

    “Also, I cleaned and pressed six pairs of underwear for you to take along with you,” Delia said earnestly.

    “What?! Mother, it's only a one-evening event. I don't need to take ANY underwear,” Ash retorted in annoyance.

    “Don't take that tone of voice with me, young man! Besides, it's too late. I already packed them along with your teddy bear. Now, about your date --”

    “MY DATE?!,” Ash interrupted violently. “Mom, this is an award ceremony. Not a freaking Sock Hop!”

    “I just don't think it's right that you show up there alone. People will think you're troubled. You spend almost every living moment with your Pokémon and I'm starting to worry that you'll bring one home and tell me you're marrying her.” Delia shot back without missing a beat.

    The sides of Ash's lips spasmed in annoyance as Pikachu's ears imperceptibly twitched.

    She tried a different approach. “For me, Ashy? Pretty please? I want to watch you show up for your big day looking all handsome in your father's old tux, arm akimbo with your beautiful date's arm inside the loop, going up to receive your trophy and ascend to the title of Master Pokémon Trainer. It's the moment a mother dreams about from the first time she looks into her newborn's beautiful baby-blue eyes. I saw the potential in you. Just like your father.” Delia's eyes sparkled as she pleaded with her son.

    Ash let out a long drawn out sigh, beginning to regret having come home. “Fine, I will ask someone to come with me if it would really make you happy.”

    He began to run through a list in his mind of all the girls he knew. Ash was the first person to admit he didn't know a thing about them, but he figured that since now he was a Pokémon Superstar, girls would be throwing themselves at him and would die at the chance to share his most longed for moment with him.

    Delia immediately recovered. “There's no need for that, honey. That bright red haired girl stopped by a few days ago, asking about you. We had a discussion and she said she'd be delighted to attend with you should the opportunity present itself.”

    Ash flinched, staring at his Mom incredulously. She couldn't possibly mean. . .

    “Isn't that wonderful? You used to travel with her. Marsha... from the Celadon Gym!”

    Ash's stomach tied itself in illegal ancient militaristic knots. “Misty... from Cerulean Gym... ?”

    “That's right!” proclaimed Delia excitedly, mistaking her son's working memory as enthusiasm. “She's matured into such a beautiful young woman. You two would look so absolutely cute together.”

    Ash grabbed a box from the floor and put it on his bed, reaching for clothes and various miscellany trinkets from his room and placed them in the box. He then gently grabbed Pikachu and placed her in the box as well, eliciting from her a head tilt and a quizzical “Pi ka?”

    “Thanks for the good times, Mom. I'm moving out now.” Ash said with not much inflection to his voice.

    “Oh, come on, Ash! It's not that bad. You'll have a great time. Just this once? I'll never ask anything from you ever again. I promise.” Delia tried begging again.

    Ash somehow doubted this. “All right. I'll do it, but after tonight I think I'm going to head on to Johto. If she calls, have her meet me in Cherrygrove City on the 26th and we'll take the ferry to Altomare the next morning. They have it chartered especially for me and promotional purposes, otherwise I would have just flown to Altomare on my Staraptor. Lucky for you, they told me I could invite anyone along. Are you coming?”

    “Really?! You're officially inviting me?” Delia threw her arms around Ash and beamed. “I wouldn't miss it for the world.”

    Ash smiled and hugged her. “Of course. Just pleeeeeease let me be an adult and don't embarrass me. That's all I ask.”

    “I promise, Ash. I know you're an adult. You brought home more money yesterday than I've made in 5 years. I will be a VIP guest, nothing more.” Delia smiled and ruffled her son's spiky hair and then spotted Pikachu who had hopped out of the box and curled up in her son's lap.

    “Now, let's see about getting you a frilly pink bow to wear around your neck for the ceremony.”

    “Chu KA?!?!” Pikachu began to thrash and struggle, making grabby hands at Ash as Delia picked her up and started carrying her away, shutting the door behind her.

    Ash fell back on to his bed amidst the mess and sighed again. He felt sorry for Pikachu, but kind of glad that it was now her turn and no longer his. He decided he would rescue her tomorrow morning and began to doze off.
  8. Yoshi-kun

    Yoshi-kun Wandering the Forums

    I clicked the link in your sig. ^ ^

    The plot is really good. Your writing is too. I can feel the emotion and imagine the scenery. I felt really bad Latias when I read this, her life hasn't been so good, huh? But maybe now things will change. ;) I wonder if she'll go back to her human form when he shows up. Misty's coming back too, I hope things don't turn that nasty between she and Ash. XD I'd like to think they're at least friends, I don't think she could win in a 'fist' fight with Latias. ^ ^;


    The only problem I see is that your sentences can get a bit too long sometimes. Like here:

    That paragraph is only two sentences long, with most of it being only one sentence. That makes it kind of confusing to the reader, because there's no real break in between thoughts. It just feels too "wordy"? If you get what I'm saying? But this is the only issue with it. I'm just trying to help, you have already helped me a lot after all. ^ ^

    Now I'm waiting for the next the chapter. :D
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2008
  9. wayc

    wayc Latias Fanatic!!!

    Hey, thanks for the review. I'm really glad you clicked the link and read the story too! ^^ That sentence you ROFLed at really was a jewel, huh? Believe it or not I came up with that after a week of writer's block, having gotten stuck at "People will think you're troubled." XD

    You're right about that one sentence's length. It's a bit of a run-on. I was trying to be descriptive enough to make it seem like the action was happening in real time and not just giving a vague summary of it. I guess I just couldn't figure out where I could put breaks there and still make it sound good. I must have edited most of the sentences in this story at least twice. XD

    I really hope to continue soon but I've lost a bit of motivation seeing that not many people are reading this or replying to it. I think I'm going to upload this to fanfiction.net and Pokemon Tower too to see what people say there and it might get me in the mood to write more.

    Also, with talk of another Pokemon/Human Fanfic Award thing to happen soon, I do kind of want to get this completed and submit it. :)
  10. flaremaster

    flaremaster Active Member

    Oh NO, You MUST write more!

    I want to know what happens next, It's KILLING me!!
  11. Sumnor

    Sumnor Altoshipper!!

    You've done a great job! I really like the imagery and detail you put in physical visuals and emotions. I've enjoyed reading these four chapters.

    It's so sad to see Latias yearning for Ash after so many years, so I can't wait until the day they actually meet at the Master Champion ceremony. ^_^

    It seems like Ash has really grown up, but I was little surprised at Ash's exchanges with his mother. I think Ash would just be embarrassed with his mom's antics, not annoyed. I also think that he would be happy to take his mom along with him to Alto Mare. But I guess you must have had a specific reason to go with what you have, so I shouldn't pry too much. ^^;

    I'd really like to read more of your fic! I'm excited to know what happens next, and see how Ash and Latias' imminent meeting plays out. Keep up the great work!
  12. wayc

    wayc Latias Fanatic!!!

    Thanks for the review and kind words, Sumnor. ^^ It is always an honor to receive your praise.

    I got a little caught up in the chapter where Ash interacts with his Mom. I wanted to make it funny and silly. He really was happy to take his Mom along with him to Altomare. Remember the part where she hugged him? He's just older now and a little more impatient with the way she tries to pry into his life. :p

    I hope to continue writing soon.
  13. ChloboShoka

    ChloboShoka Writer

    A very powerful title. And it's nice to see some altoshipping around as well.

    Overall I find the plot is very good. The vocabulary, spelling, grammar and punctuation seem to be very decent. The whole idea of Latias loving Ash is something I can understand, since I feel it was her who kissed him in the movie.

    It was also great to see Ash grown up and I thought Delia's characterization was great especially the underpants reference. The pizza reference in chapter four was a little 'What the hell?' but that sounded a bit realistic and I am surprised Delia hasn't chucked that in the bin considering how much of a housewife she is.

    You're description is really great and I really felt the mood whilst reading the fan fiction. So you've done a really good job overall. I would love to see more chapters and see how this goes.

    I'm now going to quote some of my favorite parts.
    Excellent mood here.

    The Latios/ Latias interaction here was great. I thought it made a great touch and had a sweet flow.

    This was a funny part. I can understand how Ash really wants to be an adult. XD
  14. wayc

    wayc Latias Fanatic!!!

    Wow, that was a great review. ^^ Thanks for taking the time out to do it. I appreciate it a lot and I really feel motivated to continue now.

    I understand what you mean about the WTFness of the pizza slice. It was just a few days ago that I realized, "Hmmm... maybe I should have considered using a moldy one of those like odd-shaped doughnuts that are brown in the middle and white on the outside." You don't really see pizza at any time during the anime. Maybe I just forgot what I was writing about at that point in the story. XD

    Anyway, yeah... there might be a WTF moment here and there in my fics. I haven't watched the show regularly since the very beginning of Master Quest when Ash abandoned his Bayleef. ;_; I watched the end of Indigo Island for the cute Lapras interaction and when he said goodbye to her I almost cried. And then I watched Johto Journeys and Johto League Champions because of all the cute Chikoshippiness. ^^ Ever since MQ though I've only seen the odd episode here and there.

    I'm not an avid watcher, but I felt I'd played the games and seen the show enough in the past 9 years to write a decent fic with a decent knowledge of the area and characters. :)
  15. Latias.

    Latias. Member

    I really like this story, I just about love Latias and Latios, and made an account just to post here, lol. This is a great story, I can't wait for more to come. I like all the emotions like in chapter 3. You are doing great.;381;;380;
  16. wayc

    wayc Latias Fanatic!!!

    Why, hello there. Wow! You made an account just to reply to my story? I'm extremely flattered. I think I will work on Chapter 5 either Wednesday after school or Thursday after school when I'm sure I'll have some time. ^^

    If you really like Latias and Altoshipping too, I encourage you to check out the Altoshipping thread in the Shippers forum (the one this board is a daughter board of). There's a bunch of other people there who love to talk about Latias and Ash as well. :)
  17. ironfists456

    ironfists456 I don't know...

    This is a really good altoshipping fic, i like the humor at some parts and the "desparation" of other, i'm sorry if this seems like a crappy review, but i was never good at such things, i wouldn't be able to make out a grammar mistake even if it jumped out at me and yelled "BOO", so i don't make such attempts, oh well. But yea, keep up the good work and please update soon, please!!
  18. wayc

    wayc Latias Fanatic!!!

    I'm glad you liked it, ironfists. ^^ Thank you for telling me what you think. I really need to get off my lazy bum and write more... or I guess... get on my lazy bum and write more! XD Thanks again. :)
  19. ironfists456

    ironfists456 I don't know...

    Your Welcome!! :)

    Glad to know you appriciated the comment but don't I care as long as you don't let the story die


    Sorry a little over dramatic, but seriously nothing pisses me off more nowadays then when a writer starts a pretty good fanfic and then just drops it, and personally I see too many altoshipping fics doing this, that or the writer starts from updating every week to every YEAR!! Although like I said before as long as your still updating I don't really care as much.
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2008
  20. wayc

    wayc Latias Fanatic!!!

    You could always start a new one. :) I'd definitely post in it. And yes, I'm glad you like my fic. I really need to get back into writing it. I've never finished a fic before and that's a shame... this one I must finish! ><

Share This Page