TwinTack RPG

[Zpinda]

Far away, in a world where people of Earth and people of that world, Unifos, do not know of each other, lives two twin boys, Zack and Jack. These two young boys are faced with a serious problem. Their mother is in danger of passing away, due to a disease. The cure is available, but it is on planet Earth, and the two young boys do not know of the planet Earth.

As they visit their dying mother, a mysterious man comes up to the twins and calls them out into the room.

He tells them of planet Earth, and that the cure is there, but they will need to take twenty-three more people with them, to generate enough energy for the teleporter. So Zack and Jack begin looking for help.

It will be a dangerous journey, but it will be worth it...

There are some already made characters, but others will have to make thier own. They are as follows

1.Zack- Me(Chaos Control)
2.Jack-
3.John-
4.Lizzy-
5.Pierre-
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.
25.

For others making thier own characters, post your character as follows:

Name-
Age-
Apperance(hair,clothes,race,etc.)-
Gender-

Please note that the more decriptive you are, the more of a chance you have of being accepted!

 

[Yami Ryu]

http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=107376 <- rules, which if you had read before posting, you would know you have a rule breaking 'plot' and I bet you didn't post your own character because it'd probably be as sorry an excuse as your plot :/

You need to explain the:

Who
What
Where
When
Why

Fully. And not leave anything up in the air unless it's free form.

Far away, in a world where people of Earth and people of that world, Unifos, do not know of each other,

Far away in a world where people of two races don't know eachother, and they live on planet earth? >.> SPEAK ENGLISH PLEASE! Or atleast make Sense. WTF. Do you mean in an alternate dimension where there are two worlds in one star system that rotate around the same star- aka sun, support life and they are both ignorant to the other?

:/

lives two twin boys, Zack and Jack.

Where do Jack and Zack live??

These two young boys are faced with a serious problem. Their mother is in danger of passing away, due to a disease.

WOAH DO TELL- yes that's a serious problem doctors would be able to fix- so how does this fit into the plot?

The cure is available, but it is on planet Earth, and the two young boys do not know of the planet Earth.

If the cure is on earth and no one knows of earth, then by default 'there is no cure' :x and I take it Jack and Zack are these Unifos so WHAT does a UNIFOS look like?

As they visit their dying mother, a mysterious man comes up to the twins and calls them out into the room.

omg mysterious man of generic rp!

He tells them of planet Earth, and that the cure is there,

How does he know of Earth :/

but they will need to take twenty-three more people with them, to generate enough energy for the teleporter.

So what the people are made of energy? So the Unifos are walking electrical charges?

So Zack and Jack begin looking for help.

Yeah like 23 people will endanger their lives for ONE person.

It will be a dangerous journey, but it will be worth it...

Yeah for Jack and Zack! :O

I suggest you put more thought into the rp :/ such as making it more of an 'epidimic' than one person getting an 'incurable save for the cure on the earth disease'- that no one knows about mind you. Explaining what the **** is going on, and etc. I mean what you have is the most basic of the bare backbones for an RP to grow from- as in a more indepth plot. Something that would actually have people interacting- not make two characters the stars as well, Jack and Zack will be as only their mother is sick... :/

 

[Zpinda]

Hmm, I realize that I am not ready for an Rpg, so Admins, close this thread.