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Untamed Serenity [One-shot]

Faerie

MONS
PG. Nothing really bad in this.
Hello everybody! ^__^ I know some of you are enjoying my current fanfic, Love and Loyalty. I'm currently suffering a bit of writer's block with that one, so I tried writing a one-shot to see if I could get ideas from that. It turned out to be better than I assumed it would, so I'm posting it here! Yay! :D So, if you're interested, here goes:

<Untamed Serenity>
What Do We Look Like Through Pokemon's Eyes?​

The sun shone down upon the open expanses of a meadow. A gentle breeze rustled the bright emerald blades protruding from the fruitful soil. A small brook ran through the clearing, the milky yellow sunlight reflected glisteningly on the water's surface.

A Mightyena stood at the water's edge, its tail held high loftily. It lowered its head and extended its tounge, lapping up the liquid gratefully. It tasted sweet on this anhydrous summer's day. When it had finished, it sniffed the air questioningly, beads of water dripping from its chin. Its ears twitched, detecting the songs the birds chirped gaily. Life was beautiful, and that Mightyena wanted to live it peacefully.

But not all people--Pokemon, as the humans called them--saw the world as he did. One day, years ago in this same field, he had met another Mightyena. That Mightyena had a Trainer, and she willingly fought by the human's side.

He had been laying in the grass pleasantly that day, enjoying the relaxing silence, when she had padded up to him. She bared her teeth, but her expression was friendly. He registered it as a 'smile', a strange human practice that wild Mightyenas did not do.

"Hello," she said. "I'm Kakku. What's your name?"

He had not looked at Kakku, or even lifted his head. Instead, he replied in a low, serious tone, "I don't have a name."

Kakku cocked her head, looking very suprised and confused. "You don't have a name? Why not?"

"It's not natural," he muttered gruffly. "It's something humans invented. Names are fickle; ask any other wild Mightyena and they'll tell you the same thing."

"When my Trainer caught me, I started meeting a lot of other Pokemon. They all had names, so I thought it was normal," Kakku inquired.

"Well, you were wrong. So," he added slyly, "Are you going to battle me now?"

"No," Kakku said, shaking her head; another human gesture. "I'd only challenge you if my Trainer told me to."

"Would you jump into a Gyrados's mouth if your Trainer told you to?" he growled, his tails twitching with irritation.

"What're you implying?"

The Mightyena turned to Kakku, glaring at her dangerously. "I'm implying that you're a fool for fighting 'till you're knocked out just because some human tells you to! It's so stupid!"

"It's not stupid!" Kakku barked indignantly. "My Trainer loves me and takes care of me; I'm just repaying her for her kindness!"

'But don't you see?" he retorted, now angry. "Your Trainer is only doing those things to watch you battle. It thinks that it's fun watching you fight until you faint from exhaustion or injury! It's a sport, Kakku. A sport!"

Kakku wrinkled her snout in disgust as she said, "Well, that's awfully self-assured from someone who eats other Pokemon!"

He snorted. "Well, how else do you expect me to get meat? Go to the Pokemart and buy some? Try to picture that."

With a growl of contempt, Kakku turned tail and stormed off, flicking her tail contemptfully. She clearly wasn't going to stay and take any more junk from the likes of him. The male Mightyena let out a deep sigh and laid his head on the grass, allowing it to tickle his snout.


Nowadays, the Mightyena still stuck to his conjectures, and knew he always would. Humans had banned slavery, yet they used them like tools. They were such hypocrites. He still wondered, though, about Kakku and how she was so loyal to humans, doing whatever they said. Who knows; maybe her trainer had loved her, but hadn't yet realized the errors of its ways?

After all, he thought as he closed his eyes, nobody's perfect.
 
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Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
One tip: Don't use color text when fic writing. As with my skin choise it's hard to see, but atleast it doesn't blind me like that twit that seems to constantly use green text for every damn post >>

Anyways this was a very interesting one shot, there are so few from the eyes of pokemon, or rather, so few that are written with such talent. There were a few places that could have been elaborated a bit. I think, I could just have gotten confused XD anyways, overall this is a good one shot, and I loved the interaction of the two Mightyena. Hm, this would earn a three/three and a half stars for writing, and four for originality.

Anyways keep up the good work.
 

Faerie

MONS
^__^ Thanks. Yeah, I usually don't use color for writing, but I just wanted to for this one. If I had known people didn't like it, I probably wouldn't have done it. O__o
Anyways, I agree that people don't tend to write many fanfics from a Pokemon's POV. I'm glad you like mine! I haven't been writing Pokemon stories for a very long time, and it's good to see that people like my work. :3
 
L

lone_wolf816

Guest
This is a pretty good one shot and it reminds me of Pokemon Rebellion in a way...Nice description!

;197;
 

Faerie

MONS
Glad you like it. Yeah, it is sort of similar to Pokemon Rebellion in a way. I've never actually read Rebellion, but I've seen the summary and have a basic idea what it's about. xD
 

Shiny Spoink

Soul Trainer
HAHA!Its funnyish!well, funnier and less meaningful then LAL so I like it!Heres a tip, when writing fics, make it meaningless, stupid, pointless, and funny!no, just kidding, thats just how I like my fics.I liked it when Mightyena said: "Would you jump into a Gyrados's mouth if your Trainer told you to?" LOL!So um...I wanna put this on my site too and as you can see im kinda son a sugar rush now so XDXDXDXDXD!yay!
 

Kiyohime

Well-Known Member
o_O *backs away from the very hyper pig bouncing around the room*

You've got a wonderful amoutn of description-- not too detailed, but just good enough to let us imagine. Good job on describing the Migtyena's gruff voice, too. ^.^ You proably already knew, but I absolutely adore Mightyenas. :p

You also did a great job of bringing up two conflicting point of views that were portrayed realistically, so kudos! :0
 
W

Whisper

Guest
OMG. All I can say... Wait- There is that that storywas a new perspective on Pokemon and their trainers... I LOVED IT!!!!!
 

Faerie

MONS
Shiny Spoink: Erm...Hello. You're awfully hyper. O__o I'm glad you liked the story though! Yet be warned...The story actually was as meaningful as LaL. I guess you just didn't catch the meaning. :p Oh well.

Scrap: SCRAP! 8D Thank you soo much for coming here! *is honored* I'm glad you liked it so much. ^__^ And don't worry about the hyper pig: just be glad he's not in your class. Like me. X__x *dies*

Whisper: Hello! :3 Good to see you on the forums. I'm glad you liked it so much! I know it's pretty short, but apparently people think it's really cool. Yay. xD
 

Shiny Spoink

Soul Trainer
AGG!You are right!XDthere was meaning!oh well, *secretly destroys story with rusty metal guitar*the funnishness bloked it out and im not a gewd writer*sticks out tounge*as you can see, im still hyper and you know that if i stop bouncing, ill die so dont complain!i didnt like mightyena, you shud of done spoink SPOINK ROX!!!lalalala!*crashes into wall*how long has it been since my last post?i dunno, like 5 hours!yay!ive been hyper for 5 hourz!!!!!!!!!
 

Faerie

MONS
Um, yeaaah...O__o Cool. 5 hours. That's a little...Odd...Well, are you going to put it on your site or not? :/ *ish confused*
 

Shiny Spoink

Soul Trainer
oh right, i forgot but ill do it tomorrow cuz i need smething to updat-who shot me with a tranquilizizing dar-...z..z...z..
 

Faerie

MONS
Thanks for the comments! Yeah, I sort of wanted to portray Pokemon in a different way. I got to thinking, "I really doubt all Pokemon would like to be forced to battle by humans. I sure wouldn't." So I decided to write a fanfic about it. Eh, it's a one-shot, but whatever. xD

>__> I wonder when this is gonna be moved into the Completed Fics section...
 

Zerodius

Eternally hating D/P
Never reviewed this?

Oh well...

I really liked this one-shot... altought I do find the ending to reveal itself to be quite strange and funny at the same time.

On one side, we have a trained Mightyena with an identity, who is unique, that serves the will of a human.

On the other side, the Mightyena that has freedom... but is nothing more than a mere Mightyena, than one of many.

Pick your poison. Soulless throught lack of an individual soul or throught enslavment by a superior force?

Anyway... very nice story overall.
 

The Red Butterfly

rocket queen
I thought this was really good! Usually i don't like fics from a pokemons pov but I like this one!!!!! Keep up the good work!
 

Faerie

MONS
Thank you. Glad you both liked it! ^__^

I didn't spend very long actually writing it, but I thought about ideas for a couple of days before I started. I think that, in Kakku and the wild Mightyena, there's something everyone can relate to. They're fun characters to write about. Pokemon and animals make great characters because you can take the few things humans know about them and make up personalities accordingly.

Sometimes people use brackets <like this> or other kinds to indicate alien languages (not "ET" alien, just "foreign" alien) or animals speaking, but I don't like to do that because it seems like they're not really speaking. If you just put the speech in normal quotation marks, it implies their being...Animate, and they can still be speaking another language if you want them to.

I guess I still have a lot to say, even after my other posts. *shrugs*
 
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