Virginity

[Lucos]

Somebody's going to be in for a bad surprise when they were "safe" and still gets and STD. Condom's are, as Tony the Tiger says,"GRRRRRRRRRREAT!," but they aren't perfect. You can get STDs even though you use a condom.

No you can't. If you use a condom PROPERLY you're not going to get any STDs, I can assure you. Then some people whine about "but what if a condom breaks?". Well, you can put an entire fist inside a condom and it still won't break. Condoms are nearly impossible to break. I know I've never broken a condom in my 21 years old life so far. And even with a broken condom, or even without a condom at all, the chances of getting a STD is extremely small, like GhostAnime already said.

Excellent disregard of the entire thread up until now. You are not bringing up anything new or never-before-discussed, you know. We have all considered the efficacy of contraceptive measures. Repeatedly.

If what I said is nothing new than why do people keep comming up with lame excuses such as teenage pregnancy and STDs to prevent people from having sex ?

Seriously, every clever person who uses both "the pill" and a condom is 100% absolutely save, don't tell me otherwise because it's true, the doctors will tell you the same. Besides, I know people who f-ed many times, but they're not a parent of 192992 children, neither do they have any STDs, wonder why... maybe because they know how to use a condom and the girls know how to take the pill?

Seriously, STDs and preganancy should NOT be a reason to stay away from sex. Not being mature enough or not knowing how to use a condom and/or pill should.

 

[Lorde]

My thoughts on virginity?

As long as you stay safe, I see nothing wrong with sex. I'm not going to preach abstinence.

 

[ChaosMage]

I think you sort of need to know yourself and have a good sense of who you are as an individual before committing to another person. I've known too many people start a long-term relationship at 14 or so, and then when it ends some time later they've spent some of their vital formulative years invested in someone else rather than discovering themselves. I also don't personally believe in sex outside of a relationship, although I tend to not mind as long as it's consented to some degree (this is where alcohol becomes an issue- you might have said yes but you won't necessarily remember saying yes). I had numerous opportunities to lose it to people I casually knew at social occasions, and did consider it, but I knew I'd regret it. So yeah, I waited longer than most, but I appreciated it all the more when it happened with someone I loved. I can't really put an exact age on when you're emotionally prepared, but I guess 16 is reasonable- at least physically you should be ready to go.

 

[Deku_Link]

No you can't. If you use a condom PROPERLY you're not going to get any STDs, I can assure you. Then some people whine about "but what if a condom breaks?". Well, you can put an entire fist inside a condom and it still won't break. Condoms are nearly impossible to break. I know I've never broken a condom in my 21 years old life so far. And even with a broken condom, or even without a condom at all, the chances of getting a STD is extremely small, like GhostAnime already said.

That doesn't mean they don't break.


I don't know where people get the impression that unlikely = impossible.

 

[Tyrant Tar]

Well, you can put an entire fist inside a condom and it still won't break.

It's a terrible cliche, but it's not how big it is, it's how you use it.

 

[Djevelsk]

I lost my virginity at 16 and I've no qualms if anyone loses it before or after that age as long as it's safe seeing as two of my friends have gotten girls pregnant and it's just not wort the hassle. It's really not a big thing, I didn't feel like a different person afterwards, I felt closer to my girlfriend, yeah, but it's going to be like that for anyone I have sex with. You don't need to wait to make it 'special' just don't do it if you're uncomfortable. To me, it's really not something you need to save unless it's noted in your faith.

 

[Vaporeon4evr]

Sex is for adults. DON'T TRY IT KIDS.

 

[Grei]

Sex is for adults. DON'T TRY IT KIDS.

Aww, teenagers are practically adults. Just ask half of them! They'll show you.

They'll show you ALL.

//////

Or, another counter to this
Sex when you're an adult may not be as enjoyable as if you were a kid

You could miss out

 

[Pikachu!84]

I say wait until you are ready and don't do it with random people like some people do.

 

[lucario is best]

i dont see any thing wrong with sex because if your safe there is nothing to worry about

 

[willpower]

just kill me if this is inapropriate:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaXPxxk3sKg

anyways...
in my honest opinion there are a lot of prespectives about having sex before marriage... for me, as long as you are mature and concient enough of what you are doing, go ahead (of course even most 16 and 17 year olds are not any of these especially because society is getting more and more childish with time...).

If you are an hardcore religious follower, dont do it before marriage. Normally people just get together nowadays without getting married, so basically, as long as you love that person (LOVE PEOPLE! dont confuse that with infactuation or lust! , because most of the people nowadays dont know what love is...), you can have sex...

to the ones that think/have sex just for pleasure, thanks for being the bad examples of society by demonstrating the fools and ignorants you are, just demonstrates how society is turning more materialistic...

i just also wanted to add that in this shithole (england), if you say that you are 17/18 year old virgin and fairly looking, no one will believe you!!

 

[Ran-neechan]

No you can't. If you use a condom PROPERLY you're not going to get any STDs, I can assure you. Then some people whine about "but what if a condom breaks?". Well, you can put an entire fist inside a condom and it still won't break. Condoms are nearly impossible to break. I know I've never broken a condom in my 21 years old life so far. And even with a broken condom, or even without a condom at all, the chances of getting a STD is extremely small, like GhostAnime already said.

Well, Rachel and Ross' condom broke!

 

[Dark Trainer Ayrille]

The thread title: I have it.

My opinion on secks before marriage is: so? You get a disease, you got one. That's it. Be responsible for yourself. Secks is reproduction. Reproduction means the species will survive. And having babies after you're thirty means that the chances for birth defects start to rise, so why not make babies that won't murder the gene pool while you can?

Keep your virginity if you want - if you believe in the whole abstinence and 'sex before marriage is bad' thing, you're doing the gene pool a favor by not getting laid because you're so uptight, trust me.

:I

 

[KartWheelyGirl]

The thread title: I have it.

My opinion on secks before marriage is: so? You get a disease, you got one. That's it. Be responsible for yourself. Secks is reproduction. Reproduction means the species will survive. And having babies after you're thirty means that the chances for birth defects start to rise, so why not make babies that won't murder the gene pool while you can?

Keep your virginity if you want - if you believe in the whole abstinence and 'sex before marriage is bad' thing, you're doing the gene pool a favor by not getting laid because you're so uptight, trust me.

:I

Why does everyone make it a point to make virgins feel bad? Being a virgin and wanting to wait is not a bad thing. We just want to know that the other person is truly committed before sleeping together. I know there are guys out there who can fake a whole relationship and lie about loving a girl just to get some. If I hear a guy say, "you should have had sex and then dump her," I won't sleep with him. I don't want to give my heart to someone and then get dumped. I know what happened with my ex's brother and the girl he had a baby with. He didn't even marry her. Where I live, guys don't respect women and it's hard to find a really nice guy to build up a relationship with. I want to wait until I'm financially stable before getting pregnant.

 

[Dark Trainer Ayrille]

Yes, but thinking sex before marriage is wrong and bad and sinful is outright stupid.

Did I say "hurrrr imma make virgins feel bad"? No. I did "hurrrr imma make people who think sex before marriage is sinful feel bad".

And I'll say it again - PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY. That is all. You get a disease, or you get preggers, you better be able to take responsibility for it instead of whine about it (it's the partner's fault! I can't do this! BE AN ADULT GODDOMMOT).

And won't sleep with the dude if he says that? Chickie, you don't just not sleep with him, you dump that ******* if he's just gonna use you!

 

[willpower]

Why does everyone make it a point to make virgins feel bad? Being a virgin and wanting to wait is not a bad thing. We just want to know that the other person is truly committed before sleeping together. I know there are guys out there who can fake a whole relationship and lie about loving a girl just to get some. If I hear a guy say, "you should have had sex and then dump her," I won't sleep with him. I don't want to give my heart to someone and then get dumped. I know what happened with my ex's brother and the girl he had a baby with. He didn't even marry her. Where I live, guys don't respect women and it's hard to find a really nice guy to build up a relationship with. I want to wait until I'm financially stable before getting pregnant.

well said but still... there is a big contradiction of this world...
girls dont like nice guys and find them unatractive...
its incredible how society can leave you in the dark... i dont know in what to believe loool

 

[KartWheelyGirl]

Yes, but thinking sex before marriage is wrong and bad and sinful is outright stupid.

Did I say "hurrrr imma make virgins feel bad"? No. I did "hurrrr imma make people who think sex before marriage is sinful feel bad".

And I'll say it again - PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY. That is all. You get a disease, or you get preggers, you better be able to take responsibility for it instead of whine about it (it's the partner's fault! I can't do this! BE AN ADULT GODDOMMOT).

And won't sleep with the dude if he says that? Chickie, you don't just not sleep with him, you dump that ******* if he's just gonna use you!

I wasn't only referring to you specifically. It was more of a general question. It seems as if everytime I say I'm single or a virgin, people quickly have to jump in and make me feel bad saying "you're doing everyone a favor by staying that way." Or they say "you're a virgin? Remind me to put you on my ignore list." They make me feel like I don't deserve to be in a relationship and feel loved. I'm not a bad person. I'm actually fun to be around. I'm not conceited. I don't like the way I look, but apparently if I call myself unattractive, they think I'm seeking compliments. I'm not. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I know I criticize myself way too much, but it's so I won't get a big head. I figure I might as well criticize myself before someone else will. My ex didn't want me to have a self-esteem. He outright told me that. I know how low my self-esteem is and I don't want a guy I know IRL to take advantage of that. (Dec. 2008, my ex was right next to me when he told his friend he should have had sex with the girl and then dump her. I waited until I got home to cry. Earlier that day, he asked me to sleep with him. I told him no. I don't tell anyone in person when I'm upset. I just keep my feelings bottled up and cry in my room. I can express myself online because no one knows me IRL so I feel like it's okay to. My ex was so horrible and mean that after seeing him almost everyday for four months and many long hours (120 days approx.) I haven't really tried getting to know anyone. I feel like the only way I can be safe and not worry is if I stay a virgin until marriage. I feel like it's the safest thing for me to do. Not everyone has to agree.

 

[Ran-neechan]

KartWheelyGirl, I think you're really brave for sharing something so emotional online and I absolutely commend you for telling him off!

I know some people are afraid of having sex until marriage, but I'd just like to share (and I'm not trying to scare women), that sex for the first time hurts like hell. I've spoken with my family and friends (Esp my cousin Mira ugghhh) and they all shared and agreed with me. But around the 2nd - 3rd time, sex is definitely magical.

Just like you KartWheelyGirl, I had pretty bad self-esteem issues throughout highschool, and I was bullied frequently (I definitely wasn't the prettiest girl on the block either). But when that right person comes around and just looks at you in the eyes and says, "You are so beautiful." (and actually means it) and just takes you in his arms and "loves" you; You just forget everything happened. So, never give up! All those people who neglected you including your jerky ex-boyfriend: they can go shove it.

 

[GhostAnime]

You know, although waiting until marriage is more safe, it isn't anymore guaranteed.

I know I criticize myself way too much, but it's so I won't get a big head.

Kinda off-topic, but if you don't want a big head then simply look at yourself neutrally. Insulting yourself for the sake of doing it isn't really a good impression to lay onto others. This is why guys think of it as just seeking attention.

 

[Grei]

well said but still... there is a big contradiction of this world...
girls dont like nice guys and find them unatractive...
its incredible how society can leave you in the dark... i dont know in what to believe loool

Where did you hear this? There are lots of girls who are attracted to guys who aren't total jerks--a sense of adventure just excites them. It's not like nice guys are 100% unattractive to girls. Hell, I consider myself a nice guy.


This didn't happen recently, but some old music is reminding me of it, and I figured I'd put this out there as a reason to not have sex (which doesn't make sense if you've seen what side of the debate I'm on).

I've said a number of times how sex is very bonding with your partner. It's an act of love, and it makes you feel closer than ever with your boy/girlfriend, so long as it's the right person. (I would assume--I've only had sex with one person and she is right for me.) However, if two teenagers were to have sex (and this is probably true for adults, too), and then break up or leave each other or whatever, the emotional stress is that much worse, and it'll likely be traumatizing (similar in the way that KartWheelyGirl was 'traumatized', for lack of a better word--something so devastating happens and you, as a teenager, cannot correctly cope with it).

So that's one reason to not have sex.