Virginity

[willpower]

Where did you hear this? There are lots of girls who are attracted to guys who aren't total jerks--a sense of adventure just excites them. It's not like nice guys are 100% unattractive to girls. Hell, I consider myself a nice guy.


This didn't happen recently, but some old music is reminding me of it, and I figured I'd put this out there as a reason to not have sex (which doesn't make sense if you've seen what side of the debate I'm on).

I've said a number of times how sex is very bonding with your partner. It's an act of love, and it makes you feel closer than ever with your boy/girlfriend, so long as it's the right person. (I would assume--I've only had sex with one person and she is right for me.) However, if two teenagers were to have sex (and this is probably true for adults, too), and then break up or leave each other or whatever, the emotional stress is that much worse, and it'll likely be traumatizing (similar in the way that KartWheelyGirl was 'traumatized', for lack of a better word--something so devastating happens and you, as a teenager, cannot correctly cope with it).

So that's one reason to not have sex.

well man i dunno if you live in an envoironment where things are different than the one that i do but the fact is that you fail to get a girl in london if you are not good looking and a poser. And the fact that girls do not like nice guys was mentioned on the Relationships thread and someone even gave a link to a website exclusively made to explain why nice guys fail.

I also want to share the experiece of a friend of mine... She dated and had sex with a guy for 2 years and that guy (from what ive heard good looking and athletic) always treated her like garbage and she would always forgive him and what not. Eventualy she was pregnant and he left her and the boy saying all the bullshit assholes do when they are not ready for responsabilities. She had the boy and kept saying that she was stupid by liking him and told me and my cousin (shes one of my cousin's closest friends) that she will be a single mother and will never want to the the boy's father ever in her life. Another fact is that her parents never liked him(my friend's ex) since day 1 and always told her that he sucks.

Basically, 1 year and a half she had the baby i hear the news from my cousin.

SHE WENT BACK TO HIM...

 

[Djevelsk]

It's a terrible cliche, but it's not how big it is, it's how you use it.

Not so much a cliche thanks to premature ejaculation.

Some prick I know is apparently well endowed, BUT he blew his load during foreplay.

His equipment is hardly impressive now, is it?

 

[Krake]

Personally, I'm waiting until after marriage, not necessarily out of any religious beliefs, but because I want my first time to matter.

Granted, if, hypothetically speaking, I 'loved' my significant other, I might consider it, but I really doubt that I would want to take the risks that outweigh the benefits unless I really had feelings for her.

Whether someone wants to have sex outside of marriage is their own choice. I believe that, like love, sex means something different to everyone, and it should be done at the mutual discretion of the two people involved.

And the fact that girls do not like nice guys was mentioned on the Relationships thread and someone even gave a link to a website exclusively made to explain why nice guys fail.

Seeing as that I'm pretty sure that I posted said link, I can go in depth about what the website is about: It wasn't saying that all nice guys will never get girlfriends; it's that a lot of guys are superficially nice or insecure and then complain whenever girls don't like them because or those two flaws, among other things.

 

[Grei]

Not so much a cliche thanks to premature ejaculation.

...

Do you know what a cliche is?

Some prick I know is apparently well endowed, BUT he blew his load during foreplay.

His equipment is hardly impressive now, is it?

So? You can be 'well endowed' and still be a one-minute man.

I'd think it quite impressive (yet also somewhat unimpressive) if somebody is able to get off with foreplay. Sometimes, though, you can't help it--especially for first-timers. Doesn't mean their apparatus is worthless.

I think I detect some bitterness, jealousy perhaps This isn't the topic, however. Willpower, that story sounds vaguely familiar--in that it seems to happen a lot. The guy usually doesn't want the responsibility if it's an accidental pregnancy, though it's arguably because they aren't the ones carrying the child for nine months. It's easy to slip out when your problem is happening to somebody else and not yourself.

And those girls that choose to keep their baby's/babies' father(s) out of their lives pretty much have that choice. Granted, if the father went to court and demanded they see their child, then that'd be different, but as I said many guys don't want the responsibility.

[Obligatory tie-in to the topic]THAT'S why people shouldn't lose their virginity before they're ready, to be cool or whatever. That's wrong, in my opinion.

 

[Vaporeon4evr]

Okay, personal experience time.

I used to believe in abstinence until marriage. Now, my personal rules have diminished some, and I'm beginning to get more liberal with the idea. It's a difficult subject for me, to be honest. I'm trapped in the thralls of adolescent desire, and she has never been so appealing to me as she is now. We've been together nearly two years, and forgive me if I'm divulging too much information, but we've come awfully close to burying the baby leg. Sex is no longer some far-off ritual that we hold on a pedestal of matrimonial unity: it's tangible and real, and dangerously close within our grasp. It's thrilling, really, but terrifying at the same time. We're both eager, but apprehensive at the same time. She regards her virginity with immense significance and importance. Basically, she is extremely keen to relinquish it, since she's of the "your first should be your only" mentality, and cannot fathom the pain of losing me after sharing something so intimate.

I share these sentiments, though not as strongly. Of course I'd like to believe I am prepared, and the temptation is as alluring as it ever has been. Yet, her caution has made me cautious in turn, and for the time being I do not know what to do.

I don't know why I'm pouring out some meaningless personal drama, but I guess it goes to show that virginity and abstinence are unbelievably difficult concepts to grapple with, especially in youth. There is no clear-cut way of doing things.

 

[Jb]

...................^

Anyway i say pull it out before you "finish" that solves the baby problem.

 

[mew801]

In my opinion, people should wait until they are at least 16/17 before losing their virginity, but I think waiting until marriage is waiting a little too long. I know different religions have different views and I totally respect that. I just don't think there should be like 13 year olds having sex, thats just a little disturbing.

 

[Vaporeon4evr]

...................^

Anyway i say pull it out before you "finish" that solves the baby problem.

Haha, I know. Hey, it was for the sake of discussion

 

[Profesco]

Okay, personal experience time.

*personal experience*

Caution is wise; but fear isn't always necessary. I'll still say that marriage, specifically, does not need to be the marking point of when it's a good idea, so you both shouldn't beat yourselves up over finding your desires struggling against your principles. You may not be looking for advice, Vaporeon, but if you are: you're both apparently still doubting whether it's the right time. I'd say that's reason enough to await some definite peace of mind and surety (surety that isn't driven solely by desire, that is ;3).

Perhaps you're lucky with this girl you have. Even what feels like the best and most serious relationship can take a tragic and completely unexpected fall. It is only wise to have some assurance of lasting commitment before taking an irretrievable step.

 

[Djevelsk]

So? You can be 'well endowed' and still be a one-minute man.

I'd think it quite impressive (yet also somewhat unimpressive) if somebody is able to get off with foreplay. Sometimes, though, you can't help it--especially for first-timers. Doesn't mean their apparatus is worthless.

I think I detect some bitterness, jealousy perhaps This isn't the topic, however. Willpower, that story sounds vaguely familiar--in that it seems to happen a lot. The guy usually doesn't want the responsibility if it's an accidental pregnancy, though it's arguably because they aren't the ones carrying the child for nine months. It's easy to slip out when your problem is happening to somebody else and not yourself.

And those girls that choose to keep their baby's/babies' father(s) out of their lives pretty much have that choice. Granted, if the father went to court and demanded they see their child, then that'd be different, but as I said many guys don't want the responsibility.

[Obligatory tie-in to the topic]THAT'S why people shouldn't lose their virginity before they're ready, to be cool or whatever. That's wrong, in my opinion.

I wasn't shocked, I was just saying that being large isn't everything. And it also wasn't the lad's first time.

And I don't think that happens often, I've never heard a similiar story, nor did it happen to me when I lost it, nor any of my friends, well, as they tell me.

It's worrying you'd find it impressive to *** during foreplay, and maybe you've been in such a situation yourself? I never said it was something to be embarassed about, so apologies if I've offended you.

 

[GhostAnime]

I used to believe in abstinence until marriage. Now, my personal rules have diminished some, and I'm beginning to get more liberal with the idea. It's a difficult subject for me, to be honest. I'm trapped in the thralls of adolescent desire, and she has never been so appealing to me as she is now. We've been together nearly two years, and forgive me if I'm divulging too much information, but we've come awfully close to burying the baby leg. Sex is no longer some far-off ritual that we hold on a pedestal of matrimonial unity: it's tangible and real, and dangerously close within our grasp. It's thrilling, really, but terrifying at the same time. We're both eager, but apprehensive at the same time. She regards her virginity with immense significance and importance. Basically, she is extremely keen to relinquish it, since she's of the "your first should be your only" mentality, and cannot fathom the pain of losing me after sharing something so intimate.

Lol I bet you aren't the only one who finds it hard to resist who has argued fervently against it! Come out spineless hogs!

 

[Grei]

I wasn't shocked, I was just saying that being large isn't everything. And it also wasn't the lad's first time.

Nobody said large was everything, though. :O
What you quoted had to deal with a condom breaking because of... either misuse of the penis (?) or having a penis big enough to make the condom easier to break.
I think. : /

And I don't think that happens often, I've never heard a similiar story, nor did it happen to me when I lost it, nor any of my friends, well, as they tell me.

Key words. I'm not going to judge your friends, but I know it's common for people to lie about stuff like that to save themselves embarrassment (because it actually sort of is something to be embarrassed about :x ). That's why lots of guys seem to have six-inch penises--admitting they're small is worse than just being average, for most. That's just another example of it.

It's worrying you'd find it impressive to *** during foreplay, and maybe you've been in such a situation yourself? I never said it was something to be embarrassed about, so apologies if I've offended you.

Impressive, though it does generally have a positive tone does not always have to be positive. Impressive doesn't need to mean appealing. ; )

Myself, I've never been in such a situation. On average it takes me almost half an hour--my favorite organ is sensitive in a bad way, and I lose the erection easily if I become uncomfortable or too sweaty and warm.
Both of which are common in sex.

You may not be looking for advice, Vaporeon, but if you are: you're both apparently still doubting whether it's the right time. I'd say that's reason enough to await some definite peace of mind and surety (surety that isn't driven solely by desire, that is ;3).

I agree. I agree with the entire post, but specifically this. If you aren't sure if it's the right time, it probably isn't, and that's OK.

 

[Tazarkul]

...................^

Anyway i say pull it out before you "finish" that solves the baby problem.

Er... you know that doesn't work... right?

and is it me or is the Attitude towards Virginity and Sex a lot more relaxed in Britain than it is in the US?

i hear people talk of waiting until marriage because they think they should owe it to their future wife/husband to be a virgin... but why?

What is so important about 'Saving' yourself? why do you have to 'Resist'?

 

[Djevelsk]

Myself, I've never been in such a situation. On average it takes me almost half an hour--my favorite organ is sensitive in a bad way, and I lose the erection easily if I become uncomfortable or too sweaty and warm.
Both of which are common in sex.

I can understand what you mean here, I used to find it hard to sustain an erection after having to put the condom on myself, I just found it an akward thing to do for some reason.

And even now if I get uncomfortable I can lose my fight a bit, but problems like that seem to dissappear as easily as they came if you take them off your mind.

 

[willpower]

Er... you know that doesn't work... right?

and is it me or is the Attitude towards Virginity and Sex a lot more relaxed in Britain than it is in the US?

i hear people talk of waiting until marriage because they think they should owe it to their future wife/husband to be a virgin... but why?

What is so important about 'Saving' yourself? why do you have to 'Resist'?

because in britain everyone likes to show off.... Everyone is pressuring each other to do it and if you make the dicision of waiting until marriage, you are gonna be mocked for life. Yep, what do we expect from a country where most of the population is severely immature...

Also, 85% of the girls in britain are easy, in other words, sluts.

 

[Grei]

Also, 85% of the girls in britain are easy, in other words, sluts.

Is this an actual statistic of some sort?

I can understand what you mean here, I used to find it hard to sustain an erection after having to put the condom on myself, I just found it an akward thing to do for some reason.

And even now if I get uncomfortable I can lose my fight a bit, but problems like that seem to dissappear as easily as they came if you take them off your mind.

Yeah, part of it was the awkwardness of the condom, but even in the middle of sex, if I get uncomfortable it makes it really hard to actually maintain the erection. I'm pretty sure it's almost 100% mentality-based, though. I usually worry about maintaining the erection. When I first had sex, my body had gone into the fight-or-flight response (I think--it was in part due to the rest of my family being a floor above us), so I kept losing the erection. Since then it keeps coming back to haunt me.

EDIT: Although I don't normally do this, 1337th post.

 

[GhostAnime]

Some of things I'm hearing is a "british thing" is actually a worldwide thing. At least in the west.

Women can be ****s.

Sex is pressured among teens.

We aren't that radically different.

 

[Tazarkul]

because in britain everyone likes to show off....

How so?

Everyone is pressuring each other to do it and if you make the dicision of waiting until marriage, you are gonna be mocked for life.

Oh sorry, i must have missed that one while i was living in... oh that's right, i still live here.

Yep, what do we expect from a country where most of the population is severely immature...

*Sigh* a 'Your Mum' joke fit in here i suppose...

Also, 85% of the girls in britain are easy, in other words, sluts.

yes, lets throw random statistics out there and hope people believe us...

Dude... what? you just threw some Prejudice at me with no proof or evidence to back yourself up, why...?

 

[Golde]

Heh, I don't plan on loosing my virginity anytime soon, if ever. I don't believe in love though...like, relationship wise. And if I did have the desire to loose my virginity, I probably couldn't, because with my mindset, I couldn't string someone along for my own benefit (the love thing, I just said).

So, who knows. I'll probably stay alone in life, which is damn fine with me. *thumbs up*

 

[Profesco]

Profesco used Hi Bump Kick!