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Wannabe Bad Guys

How is the storie?

  • Awesome!

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Really Really Good

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Really Good

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Good

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • It is the best thing i have ever read

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Good

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  • Good

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  • Total voters
    4
ok i decided to make a story!

...


ok let's roll!


Prologue!


Willie walked downstairs, ready for work at ONBS. He took a last check in the bathroom to make sure his black and blue plaid tie was straight. As he looked at his fit body in the mirror, he sighed. He pulled his hands through his blond and brown hair and straightened his black collar shirt. He felt imprisoned, going to work, everyone bossing him around, and stupid Cipher who wouldn't leave ONBS alone. Well Cipher didn't really bother ONBS, ONBS just trailed Cipher. He wanted to let his feelings out to someone who would understand. He sighed again and walked downstairs. He sat down at his 2-seater brown dining table and made his coffee. He turned on his new 45-inch high-definition TV and turned to the news channel. It felt weird, seeing you on TV saying it is live, when you are sitting right in front of yourself. Suddenly the screen flickered and his picture got distorted and a new picture suddenly appeared in its place. It looked like his colleague at work, Ancha. In the background, there was a red screen saying, "Breaking News Flash".


"We are interrupting for stunning news. We have been informed that Cipher has just taken over Phenac City and are threatening to blow it up with the citizens if anyone comes to save the townspeople. All of Orre is under siege and we will take you to Phenac City with our newspeop- what are you doing cameraman, don't ruin my news break!"

"Ancha, idiot, we can't take our newspeople to Phenac or else Cipher will blow it up!" the cameraman, Bob, said frantically. Willie sat up in his couch. He had never thought that Cipher would make such a huge comeback right after Michael thwarted them again, after Wes and Rui too. There had been rumors around Pyrite Town that Miror B. was back with Cipher and was going to blow up everything in Orre, but of course, he didn't believe them. He was completely stunned by this attack. He rememebered when Cipher took over Phenac twice in the last 7 years, but he didn't think that they would do it again.

"Oh! We have another breaking news story! Oh... oh no... no... Cipher...,"Ancha trembled,"has-"


The ground started to shake violently. The TV fell down and smashed. Willie dove under his dining table, wondering what the hell was happening and what the breaking news story was.

_____________________________________________________________

ya i know the title doesn't explain the prologue at all but it will fall into place. so, how was it?
 

Dilasc

Boip!
This is short and that is that,
Storyline seems very flat.

You need description. No seriously, you've posted lots of bad stories before this, and this one's just as bad. Did you write it up on a word processor? I get the feeling you didn't, but that's just me. You have to describe things. What is Cipher? What does OSBN stand for? What if I had no flippin clue what any of this damned stuff even meant? See my point? Fix it or this will be closed like everything else.
 
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