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Hi guys....I've just finished this little work and i really need some opinions on it. Maybe you could take some time off your schedule to read this story and please DO write a review or comment. Please give me some tips in making this story a little more better if you're not satisfied with it.

It's kind of weird looking though. REAL SORRY. This story's about water. Sorry as this is the first time I'm doing this.





The drips of water suddenly rush out as I turn the tap on. I stand in front of the sink, pulling up my sleeves in case they get wet. I get ready to wash my hands; to clean the dirt that had been collected over my night's sleep. I move my hands closer to the rushing water and begin to realize something - a problem.
Keeping it in mind, I wash my hands as thoroughly as I can. I find a towel on my left hand side that was used to clean my face the day before and I use it to dry my wet, clean hands. I hear the water, the sound of it hitting against the sink and into the holes from which it shall be taken elsewhere. To be purified. I then walk over to where I kept my toothbrush. I pull it out from its' holder and begin to fiddle with it. I take my tube of Colgate which was in reach. I turn open its' container and begin to squeeze out the paste and slowly, I start to spread a little of it over my brush. I brush my teeth with utmost care; carefully brushing over my teeth in order to rid myself of the dirt. I can feel the sourness of my mouth starting to fade. I feel much better. But wait! what's that:

The water...

The water is still running! I quickly turn the tap. The water had been on the whole time. Why is that? Why is that every time a person is to brush his teeth or even wash his hands, he leaves water running? Why is that when a person takes a bath, he leaves water running even after he had bathed? Is it because he had forgotten? Or is it because he has become lazy and ignorant; forgetting about what water brings and how it keeps us running. Running! That's it! We keep running away from this problem. We don't think of what would happen if we don't take care of our water - our water supply.
I take my cup that I use for rinsing and put it under the water. I wait until the water fills up the cup. As soon as it filled to level, I turn the tap once more to stop the water. I rinse my mouth to get rid of the last sign of tooth paste in my mouth.
Again I think: What if the water runs out and we humans start to extinct; one by one starting to die because of the lack of water. I press my head against the mirror in front of me. I start to think - to imagine. To imagine a life without water.
I must've drift off.

I snap out of it by a loud clatter from downstairs. I feel really tired. I am lying comfortably on my bed now. But, that's impossible, I think out loud. Had I been dreaming before? Groggily, I start to the door to see what is all the noise about. I gingerly walk down the stairs; holding on to the sides for extra support.

" Henri!" I hear my mum's voice from the kitchen. "Get down here this instant and have your breakfast."

I walk to the kitchen and see my mum busy cleaning some dishes. The sun is already up and shining really brightly. Opposite me, the window shows me a dewy morning. The grass and leaves from the trees outside glisten beautifully below the morning sun.

"Henri!" mum said impatiently. " You're late for breakfast. You've been asleep for a long time. Did you sleep late? I'd have thought you were in a coma or something."

I just shrug. I can't tell her that I woke up the second time just now. I mean, I don't believe it myself. I sit myself down onto the chair I usually sit on. I can see that my cereal had already turn soggy. Hesitantly, I pick up the fork that had been prepared earlier and I start stirring the mixture of soggy cereal and milk.

"Sorry mum. I guess I was up all night reading a book." Phew, good one.

"Well, just eat up," she says brusquely. " You've the whole day ahead of you"

The cereal tastes really weird. Nothing like normal soggy cereal. It tastes kind of sour! Mum must be trying out new cereals again, I think. She normally does that when we run out of the old ones. You could say it's a habit of hers'. But when I ask her what brand it is now. She said something mind-boggling instead of the anticipated answer.

"It's the same one," she said. " Like every morning since 'THE DAY' we lost it."

'THE DAY' we lost it? I ask myself. What's that suppose to mean? Am I still dreaming? I pinch myself hard on my arm. Pain shot through my arm and I instantly grasp my arm tightly to wait for the pain to subside.

PAIN. I'm awake.

"What's it?" I ask her as she clear the table.

She look at me, concern. " Dear, are you running a temperature?"

"I'm not sick mum!" I say solemnly.

"WATER. We've lost it for about a year now."

I gape at her surprisingly.

"WHAT?!" I blurt.

"We're running on milk now. Haven't we told you this?"

I turn frozen solid. Had the time I imagined a life without water come true? I think in disbelief. I run out the door and left mum standing there; thinking I've gone completely nuts. As I step out onto the grass, I see bottles and cartons of milk by our doorstep.

"We're sent milk every morning," My father comes from behind and gently place his hand on my shoulder. "The price of it doubled since that fateful day."

"But dad!" I cry. "Isn't there dams and like, sea around the world?"

"Sssh..." he shush me while placing his finger on his lips. " Yes, but what happened last year -"


"Well, people started dying because of some kind of virus or bacteria found in the sea and rain water that we started to depend on other sources when we found out," his eyes focus on me. " We've found that milk has nothing to do with water whatsoever."

"But the cows"

"Well, the cows are given suitable tablets that help them give out more milk, while giving them food and everything else they need to live long." There's a long pause after. "Since when are you a Science enthusiast?"

"Just curious." I thank him quickly and jog back into my room. I jump onto my bed and lay there, my body sprawl. This cannot be. Is this our future - or is this our present. I loosen up and begin to relax. My heart rate returns back to normal and I feel surprisingly sleepy. I close my eyes tight, hoping that this is all nothing but a horrible dream.
Sure enough, I drift off.

I didn't know how long I slept, but when I woke up I found myself in front of the mirror; cup of water still in hand. I was surprised, relieved and happy altogether. I was surprised that it had really been a dream. I was relieved that water was still being used. And I was happy that there is still time to save the water. There's still time to maintain the cleanliness of it. We won't be running from now on, I won't allow it: to allow our world to turn sour.

Oh! and could you please point out my errors :)

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I will not bother quoting all grammatical errors, there are too many. You used things like 'I can see the water' which should be 'I could see the water' or, if you wanted to be REAL grammatical, 'I could see the water in front of me'. Work on it and you'll be good.

-I.S. ;212;


but it's in present form though. I thought of using 'could' but one person told me if it was in present form, it should be 'can'. I am quite confused. And if you could, point out other errors (don't have to be everything though).


I'd just like to point out that i just want comments. And i hope people who takes interest in this give comments......that's all


Oh yeah, alsk, all stories/fics/journals are written in past tense. You wouldn't be telling someone something when it was happening. Like this-

'A flood comes over me,' would mean you are dead.

Milk!!! Yay-ness!!!!

-I.S. ;212;