Something involving panda bears and a legend of a crystal skull.
I believe I can handle this.
Once apon a time, thousands of miles away, a lone panda bear named Karka was roaming through a forest in China that was close to the Yellow River. It was a happy time for Karka. Food was plentiful, the forest provided him with entertainment and a warm place to sleep, and the female pandas were all getting ready to choose their mates. One female he was interested in was named Sassa.
Suddenly, ninjas attacked. Five of them, each carrying a deadly weapon, stormed at Karka. The first brandished a deadly sword and swung. But Karka was too quick. Having been trained thuroughly in the ways of Ti Kwan Leep, Karka was able to deflect the blade with his massive claws and deliver a powerful boot to the head.
The next two ninjas carried nunchacks and sais. They charged Karka together while the other two crouched down and readied a strange object. The two charging were far better than the first and manged to land several painful, but not lethal blows to Karka. Karka swung his paw and hit one of the ninjas back several feet. The other ninja raised his nunchacks and cought Karka between the eyes. A terrible mistake on the part of the ninja.
The ninja was unaware, but Karka had a mystic creature inside of him. One that could only be released when he was smacked between the eyes by a ninja with a nunchack. The seal broke and an eight-legged cow emerged and moo'd a bone chilling moo. It then spreyed an acid sprey out of its utters and screamed it glorious furry as the ninja was destroyed. After the bones melted, an evil purple beam was shot out of the bushes. It was the weapon of the other two ninjas.
The weapon was no ordinary weapon though, it was a skull made of crystal. Karka shuddered at the sight of this as he saw the eight-legged cow lost its strength. Karka knew there wasn't much time. The skull would soon capture all of the cows energy and then the ninjas would use it to destroy the panda village. He charged in, but another panda already attacked the ninjas and disrupted the skulls attack. It was Fuunu, Karka's best friend. Fuunu looked at Karka and they nodded their heads. They both knew that it was time for them to merge together.
After striking several poses, they merged into Karnu, the Blue Panda.
The ninjas, proud and strong, drew their weapons of daggers and a dead orangutang. The battle ensuing was epic and deadly. Half of the forest was leveled in a matter of moments and fires raged. Soon, though, Karnu was victorious and Karka and Fuunu unmerged. Karka smiled and looked at Fuunu who smiled back, before punching Karka in the face.
Cought by surprise, Karka had no time to react and was even more shocked when he saw Fuunu using the crystal skull to drain the last of the eight-legged cow's strength. Fuunu laughed and announced that he would use the cow's power to become ruler of the pandas. As he said the ancient words which would give him the power, something strange happened. The crystal skull laughed and sucked Fuunu into its mouth, from where he would never return.
Karka, slowly looked at the skull as it spoke these words. "Karka! You are to place me in a box and write, 'send to Miami' on the top of it. Then, place me in a mailbox that the humans use. Do these things and you shall be free."
Karka did as he was told and never saw the skull again. He didn't end up with Sassa, though, he found out that she had AIDS so he hooked up with her more attractive sister, Yeewee, had 5 children, and died many years later as a happy panda.
As for the crystal skull, some say it made it to Miami, others say it took over the post office that was supposed to mail it and now rules that post office as a dictator, as for me, well... let's just say that it could be right behind you!
And that is the legend of the crystal skull.