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Where I Belong(Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Oneshot)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Every Heart, Sep 7, 2007.

  1. Every Heart

    Every Heart Happy Rival!

    Where I Belong

    The time has finally come. In a few short moments, I will be leaving you.

    When I first met you, you struck me as a cheerful sort. You laughed all the time, you were always smiling, and you made sure that I kept my spirits up. You trusted me, and I could trust you. You were the first to believe me when I told you that I was really a human, not a Pokemon like you. I could tell that you were a little skeptical at first, but you still believed me without question. I had just met you, and yet, you had accepted a total stranger's tale of being a human, despite how crazy that must have sounded. You stuck right by me when no one else would; you went to the ends of the earth for me to help me turn back into a human.

    Do you remember when we first met? How you had found me passed out in a meadow near Tiny Woods with no memory? In mere minutes, we had practically become friends. Remember when the Butterfree asked us to rescue her baby Caterpie from the fissure he had fallen into at Tiny Woods. At first, I was a little hesitant to be thrown into such a strange request. After all, isn't that what the police is for, to be helping people? (Silly me, you don't know what the police is, do you? In a way, it is a human rescue team) But one look at you with your shining confidence and your willingness to help someone in trouble put my worries aside. When we rescued that Caterpie, I was excited and full of energy. Helping someone out had lit some kind of fire in me. No no, not like a literal fire. But in a way, it might have been you who had kindled that fire.

    You took me in. Gave me a home. And then you asked me if I wanted to form a rescue team with you. The thought had intrigued me. The idea of helping those that had been affected by the natural disasters in your world. But what made me seal the deal was the idea that it would be with you. We started our rescue team, calling ourselves Team Lightning. It was quite fitting, seeing as how I had turned into a Pikachu. Like you told me when we first met, I looked like your average Pikachu. Nothing out of the ordinary. Except for that mere fact that I am actually a human. And sometimes, I think that you forgot that...heck, I think I forgot that I am actually a human, not a Pikachu.

    Remember Team Meanies and their leader, Gengar? Heck, how could you forget? You two were practically at each other's throats! You may see him as your enemy, but when I look at you two, I see him as your rival. In a way, you strive to become stronger so that you can beat him. A part of your inspiration to try harder, to prove that our rescue team was better than his. But right now, as I look into your eyes, I see your answer to my previous statement. I can imagine you saying that I was your inspiration. That you trained harder and harder so that we can find a way to change me back. I want you to know that you are my inspiration too. I worked harder, but for reasons different than yours. Mine was to make you smile.

    Then there was the battle with Zapdos. The way you stood up to a legendary god made me proud of you. I think that Alakazam and the rest of his team were proud of you too, but they could never be as proud as I was that day. After that fight, our team name became well known. We rose up through the ranks of rescue teams, hitting silver rank, getting new team members. (Speaking of our team members, I just want them to know that without them, none of this would be possible either) We had exciting missions and rescues together. I wanted to keep doing this forever. I wanted to be with you forever.

    But Gengar ruined that possibility. When you and I had heard about the end of the world from Xatu, I was shaken. But not so much more than when we heard of the Ninetales legend. You have no idea how much that scared me. I was haunted with dreams and visions of pulling Ninetale's tails, watching Gardevoir die, and then running like a coward. But of course, they were just my own fears swimming around in my mind. But when I had that dream with Gardevoir in it, I knew that it had to have been me. There was no explanation. And Gengar knew it too. He rallied the entire town against us, against me. The way you looked at me when you asked me to tell them that it wasn't me crushed my heart. Because it wasn't true. I almost expected you to leave my side, facing across from me as you stuck me down with your fiery flames. But you didn't. Instead, you protected me. We ran away from it all and became fugitives.

    Remember what you said to me after hearing the legend of Ninetales? You had started to doubt me. You too had also believed that it was me, even if it was for one second. I don't blame you. When we were running away together, was that doubt in your eyes as you watched me? Did you secretly believe that this journey to discover the truth would end with the answer of me being the cursed human? But then you said that you believed in me. Because...I was a friend like no other. An invaluable friend. My eyes had been glistening with tears at hearing those words. I had whispered that you were my friend too. In fact...I think I wanted to be more than just friends.

    So we ran. Over forbidding mountains, scaling frozen cliffs, across fields of fire...and through it all, you didn't complain once. In a way, I enjoyed this time alone. On the spare few nights that we could sleep, I snuggled next to you and your body heat, and all my fear of getting caught would just fade away. Those precious moments with you was all I needed. We were able to escape the rescue teams coming after us, heck; we even defeated Moltres and Articuno along the way! I felt invincible, like nothing could stop us from obtaining the truth. Even Absol, who we had met along the way, was a great help to us. But to be honest, I envied that it was no longer just you and me traveling alone. And sometimes I think you were jealous with how polite Absol was to me. Just so you know, he could never replace you.

    We finally met Ninetales. I braced myself, waiting for her to say that it was me that had left the Gardevoir. I don't know why I was expecting that answer, but who else could there be that had also been a human before? But when she said that it wasn't me, I was surprised as you suddenly glomped on me, laughing and crying happily at the same time. And I cried too, happy that it was finally over. You and I could go back home and put this whole mess behind us; get back to our rescue team. But another bomb shell was dropped on us: a legendary named Groudon had been awakened. Thrust back out into danger, we defeated Groudon. I admit that I was scared, but since you were there with me, there was no way we could lose.

    That day, when we were told that I was fated to save the world from the unthinkable, to stop the natural disasters...I was...sad. It meant that you and I would soon be parting ways. I didn't want to go to Sky Tower, to ask Rayquaza to destroy the falling star. Because I would be leaving you. That night, as I sat under the stars, thinking about how we would be changing the world the next day, you came to me. You sat down, telling me how you wished that this didn't have to happen. Your paw slipped over mine, and that was when you told me that I was the most important person that you had ever had in your life. That you would die for me. You made a promise that no matter what would happen, me and you would always be together, forever...

    My heart was breaking in two. I wish that you didn't say those words, for it will make parting that much harder. But in our moment together under the stars, I wished we had an eternity together...just the two of us and no one else. I wished that I really was a Pikachu, that way we could start a new life together after this whole mess was over. With this desire burning, we made our way to Sky Tower. Despite the odds, we had taken on Rayquaza, defeating the god of all gods. Do you remember how the falling star seemed to be so close that you could grasp it in your claws? When the beam struck the star, I felt myself tearing away from you...I thought...that I had died.

    I felt detached, adrift...For a few seconds; I was nothing more than a spirit. I was afraid that I really had died, that I had left you alone in the world. My fear increased when Gengar appeared and started dragging me away to the dark world. I imagined your tear-stricken face...I didn't want to die. I had never had the chance to tell you how I felt about you. But then Gengar stopped, mentioning something about taking the wrong direction and just ditching me there. For a moment, I had opened my eyes and saw his. And in that moment, I discovered something. Me and Gengar have a lot in common, more than you know. He had the eyes of a human. He had been the one that had abandoned Gardevoir. And it made me think. He had gone down a road of trickery and deceit upon his becoming of a Pokemon. If I had not met you, would I have been the same as him?

    When I woke up, we were surrounded by our friends. And I knew we had succeeded. We hugged each other until we turned purple. We had started to celebrate...that is, until Gardevoir showed up. She told me that it was time for me to go.

    So I now turn to you. As we speak, my body is fading away. I'm sorry...but I have to leave you. My role as a Pokemon has ended. I have to return to the human world.

    Your eyes sparkled with tears as you grip my shoulders, tears streaming down your face as well as mine. You ask why I have to leave. You shake me slightly, saying how you don't understand, pleading with me not to leave you, and asking that big question: Aren't we friends?

    Yes, dear Cyndaquil. You will always be my friend. No, more than a friend.

    Cyndaquil, I love you.

    I wish I could tell you. To owe you the truth. But to shatter your heart even further would be worse. But in the end, no matter how you look at it, I'm not a Pikachu. I never was. It would have never worked out between us, me a human/Pikachu and you an ordinary Cyndaquil. We were nothing but star-crossed lovers who had met by fate. I don't belong here, with you and the other Pokemon. Where I belong is the human world. No matter what, I can never turn my back on what I truly am: a human. If I did that, I would be leaving behind the people that I cared about in the human world, like my parents, siblings, friends...I may not really remember them at the moment, but they remember me, and it would be unfair to them if I disappeared from their world.

    I could never forget you. I could never forget the adventure we had together, the special moments we shared, and how close we came to actually becoming more than friends. You will always be in my dreams, waking or not and I will think about you all the time, every day and every night. You may be a Pokemon, but even as a human, I think I might still love you and I won't be able to look at others the same way I am looking at you right now. I know that this will hurt, but eventually, you will be able to move on. I hope that you find someone that makes you happy, someone who will be able to fill the place that I cannot. That special someone that you can share a life with. I was blessed to have met you. Whoever you may find will be able to have the same lucky experience that I did.

    I give you one last hug, which is all I have left to give you. As I am engulfed by the blinding light, you sink to your knees, calling my name, oblivious to the other Pokemon. I can slowly feel my spirit detaching from my body, rising upwards into the starry sky, a sky similar to the starry one that we shared the night before. When you made that promise that we would be together forever. I'm sorry that I broke that promise. I know that you are heartbroken. You were a true, invaluable, irreplaceable friend. A friend for life. Maybe, if I wish hard enough, we will meet again. In this life or the next. And who knows whether I'll be just an ordinary human girl, or that Pikachu you found in the woods that fell in love with you.

    I'm so very sorry...but this is goodbye...
     
  2. MaplePhanpy

    MaplePhanpy Anywayz...

    Thats.... just beautiful... simply beautiful...
     
  3. Psychic

    Psychic Really and truly

    Well, this was certainly a fascinating fic to read. It was a great idea to take the two main characters of Mystery Dungeon and show how through all that they’ve gone through, their bond can be more than just friends (which is why this probably belongs in the shipping fic section, but meh).

    You did this in a very interesting manner, going over all that had happened to the heroes and showing how she felt through it all and in what ways her feelings were different than what we had all thought. It was perfect that you had it as if she was addressing him the entire time, but in truth is only thinking it and can’t bear to tell him because she knows how it would break his heart even more than she knows it is already breaking. At times, however, it felt a bit repetitive and I kept thinking “I don’t really need to hear about this, I already know it, this is getting dull” and while I don’t think you could have shortened it (you summarized the events very well, imo) I think you could have just varied the language a bit. For instance, just say “remember when blahblahblah” and “blahblah. Heck, when blahblah” a bit less – unfortunately that’s about the best advice I could give on that. Sorry. >>

    The end was much better, though; the tone changed, the style focused on what it needed to and the flow was wonderful. I think if you had described this scene, and this scene only where Pikachu is leaving, just described everything a bit more, the scene could have had more impact and been clearer in the reader’s mind. It was still quite good, though.

    Another small note is that while I think you picked an amazing title for this, I don’t think you really focused on why this is where she belongs, other than the fact that she loves Cyndaquil. Just to mention a bit more about how she feels comfortable as a Pikachu, how she loves this world and the people in it would have really helped show how the title relates to the fic itself.


    The characters were portrayed very well and you did a very nice job showing us what they’re like. Admittedly it irked me somewhat that you used Pikachu and Cyndaquil; I personally dislike the both of them (Pikachu as a general rule annoys me and Cyndaquil...I've always disliked them and find it weird since it's a quadruped) and find it incredibly strange to imagine them together (Pikachu is more-or-less bipedal...at times), but then again like most players I’m biased because I’m used to my Charmander and Treecko. (<3) The one time I thought it was genius that you used Cyndaquil was you mentioned the night when they snuggled together and she let his body heat warm her. Otherwise I prefer different Pokémon. ^^;


    Spelling and grammar were quite good the whole way through, though I did find a fair few mistakes. Nothing big and they didn’t take anything away from the read, not too noticeable either but you may want to note them and remember them for future reference.

    Saying ‘remember’ twice so quickly was a bit repetitive, and there should be a question mark replacing the last period here.


    The second sentence is a fragment: join them together with a semicolon.


    ‘can’ is present tense, so it should be ‘could.’


    Both of these need a period at the very end because even though they’re in brackets, they’re still sentences.


    Missing the ‘r’ in ‘struck.’


    ‘you and your body heat’ sounds a bit…well, like you’re only in it for the heat or something. It ought to be something more like ‘snuggled next to you, feeling your body heat warm me as we lay together’ and also there should be an ‘s’ at the end of ‘fear.’


    In this case it seems that you’re mentioning Absol for no particular reason, just for the sake of it. It would look a bit better if you joined the last two sentences together. Also, it should be ‘whom,’ not ‘who.’


    The ‘just so you know’ seems a bit out of place, here. You can simply replace it with ‘but;’ this short sentence would increase the meaning and make a bigger impression on the reader, making the sentence stand out more.


    XD Yay for glomping! Except that it’s simply ‘to glomp,’ not ‘to glomp on.’ For instance I glomp Mewtwo, but I do not glomp ON Mewtwo. At least not as far as I know – it’s possible that I’m wrong. Also, it should be ‘both laughing and crying happily all at once’ or something to that degree.


    There would be more impact to this statement if you removed the first set of ellipses.


    Second sentence is a fragment; again, join thee two, and it would look better to instead phrase it as ‘because it would mean that I would be leaving you’ or something similar.


    This isn’t a mistake but I just wanted to point it out because I absolutely love the way you worded it and it creates a wonderful mental image – very nice. ^^


    You might want to mention what sort of beam this is. o_O


    ‘Gengar and I.’


    Like I said, nothing big but you may want to fix them anyway. :p



    Anyhow, this was, all in all, a very good story that I quite enjoyed, and I think it’s a mighty shame that nobody else has really read this. You took quite a risk with this but the story came out very well, and you seem to be a really good writer. Keep working, and I look forward to reading more of your work! ^^

    ~Psychic
     

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