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Images: BulbaGarden Archives (sprites) and Serebii (anime screenshot)

This fic is on FanFiction.Net as well.

Author: AquaMilotic
Title: Who is Ash Ketchum's Father?
Fandom: Pokemon
Pairings: PokeShipping (Ash x Misty) and JoyShockShipping (Ash's Pikachu x Misty's Togetic)
Status: Finished
Rated: R, for strong language and mentions of sexual activity. However, no details or actual sex scenes. I was doubting between PG-13 and R, and decided to play it safe.


- This fic is supposed to be humorous. Breaking the fourth wall, mentioning fandom/shipping is intended to be a joke, not more than that. Mentions and 'descriptions' of sexual activity are supposed to be funny, not hot.

- The harsh things said about Delia... I am very strongly against slut shaming. Misty voices my opinion on this. I do NOT agree with the things some of the male characters say about Delia!

- The story is a parody on the South Park episode 'Cartman's Mom Is A Dirty Slut', in which South Park character Eric Cartman tries to find out who his father is. Because of that, the storyline is loosely based on the plot of that South Park episode, even though the ending is very different.

- If you are offended by Pikachu x Ketchup jokes, please leave this page now.

Chapter 1: https://forums.serebii.net/threads/who-is-ash-ketchums-father-pokeshipping-r.675716/
Chapter 2: https://forums.serebii.net/threads/who-is-ash-ketchums-father-pokeshipping-r.675716/#post-19000140
Chapter 3: https://forums.serebii.net/threads/who-is-ash-ketchums-father-pokeshipping-r.675716/#post-19000141
Chapter 4: https://forums.serebii.net/threads/who-is-ash-ketchums-father-pokeshipping-r.675716/#post-19000142
Chapter 5: https://forums.serebii.net/threads/who-is-ash-ketchums-father-pokeshipping-r.675716/#post-19000143


Chapter 1

A few months after winning the Alola League, Ash sat on the couch, next to his mother.

'Why are you so quiet, Ash? Is something wrong?' Delia asked. 'Is it because you miss Misty?'

'Well, I miss her, but I've been wondering... Who is my father?'

Delia knew this day would come. She always told Ash that her father was a Pokemon Trainer who travelled on his own, but that was an excuse to avoid difficult questions. Today, the time has come to tell Ash the truth.

'Ash, you know how babies are born, right?'

'Yes, Brock talked to me about love and sex a few months ago.'

'Well, the thing is... Just before I got pregnant with you, I was at a party. The annual Pallet Town Bailey's Festival...'

'Bayleef Festival?' Ash asked. 'What does Bayleef have to do with sex?'

'No, Bailey's. A heavy, alcoholic beverage. It's a drinking festival, for adults only. I was a young woman who drank alcohol for the first time, back when I was nineteen years old... I saw Spencer Hale, an attractive young man from Greenfield. When I saw the bulge in his way too short shorts, I knew he wanted me. I couldn't stop staring at his sexy brown eyes and decided to take my top off, we made out a little, and he gave me a second bottle of Bailey's.'

'Okay...' Ash mumbled. 'Then what happened?'

'I got really, really, really drunk. I have no idea what happened. But a few weeks later, I found out that I was pregnant with you!'

Then, Ash got up from the couch. 'Mum, something urgent just came up. I've got to go.'

'So soon? I thought you were staying here for the rest of the week...'

'Sorry, I'll let you know what this is about later,' Ash said.

'Okay... But please, put some clean underwear on. When Misty visited you in Alola, she said you still were still wearing the underpants you wore on the day you started your journey!'

After changing his underpants against his will, Ash ran out of the house. His mother was unable to stop staring at her son, who got further and further away from the house.

Spencer Hale lived on Cinnabar Island, not far away from Pallet Town. However, to get there, Ash needed to cross the sea. How would he do that? 'I know!' he thought. 'Misty's Gyarados!'

A few days later, Ash shaked Misty's hand in front of the Cerulean Gym. 'Misty, I've missed you so much!' The boy from Pallet Town noticed Misty's revealing Alolan outfit, consisting of red flipflops, a short, yellow skirt and a yellow crop top with thin, red straps, much to his pleasure.

'I've missed you too!' Misty said. 'What brings you here?'

The Cerulean Gym Leader couldn't help but notice Ash's staring. Was he checking her out? Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

'Well, Misty... Tracey arranged something for us. You've got three weeks off, so we can go on a small journey through Kanto.'

'That's amazing! But what about the Gym? My sisters are too lazy and irresponsible to fill in for me...'

'Gary is filling in for you at the Gym. He'll be here this evening. Tracey already called Daisy to tell her about this. Grab your backpack and come with me!'

Half an hour later, Ash and Misty sat down on a bench just outside of Cerulean City. The Cerulean Gym Leader took her Gyarados, Corsola, Politoed, Psyduck and Staryu with her.

'Ash, what is our plan? What kind of journey is this?' Misty asked.

'Well, I'm trying to find out who my father is, and I wanted you to come along with me,' Ash explained. 'You're my best friend, and I want you to be there when I finally find out.'

'That's amazing! It'll be amazing to spend some time together! But do you have any clues?'

Ash told his friend what he heard from his mother. He told her about Delia getting drunk and checking out Spencer Hale.

'So Spencer Hale is your father?' Misty asked.

'Probably... My mum doesn't remember what happened after making out with him.'

'Why not?'

'She was drunk. Really, really drunk.'

'So you want to ask Spencer what happened that night?'


'Do you even know where Spencer lives?'

'Tracey told me that he lives on Cinnabar Island.'

'Nice! How do we get there?'

'On your Gyarados,' Ash suggested.

'Wait... So you just asked me to do this so you could travel to Cinnabar? So you just want to benefit from Gyarados, and you don't give a **** about spending any time with me?' Misty snapped.

'No! I wanted to spend time together! I could've easily taken a ferry to Cinnabar. Or I could've borrowed Professor Oak's Mantine,' Ash said. 'I want you to be there when I find out who my father is, because you're my best friend!'

'I hope I'll meet my future father-in-law,' Misty thought. However, she could NOT say that out loud. What if Ash would be freaked out? What if Ash wasn't into her? He just had to be into her! He was mesmerized by the view of her in a skimpy bikini. He freaked out from jealousy when Danny and Rudy were hitting on her on the Orange Islands. And besides, he was checking her out earlier today! But did the kid understand how he felt? Was he aware of concept like love and sex?

Then, Ash interrupted Misty's thoughts. 'I have another surprise for you!'

'What is it?' Misty asked.

'Pi Pikachu!' Pikachu shouted, pointing at a white, winged Pokemon with blue and red triangles on her body.

'Toge Togetic!' the Pokemon squealed, while flying towards Misty and jumping in her arms.

'Togetic! I can't believe it's really you!' Misty cried. Back when she visited Ash in Hoenn, she had to release her Togetic in the Mirage Kingdom, so her Pokemon could protect the Togepi living there.

'Tracey told me that he got a phonecall from Princess Sara last week. Her Togepi evolved and became the new protector, so Togetic could return to Misty. Originally, Tracey was going to pick up Togetic and bring her to the Gym when visiting Daisy. However, when I told him I was going to see you, he contacted Princess Sara. The Princess told Togetic to fly to Cerulean City, so she could reunite with you,' Ash explained. 'So yeah, Togetic is back for good!'

'This is the best day of my life!' Misty cried, while petting her Togetic. Her unofficial child, who she adopted when the Pokemon was a baby Togepi.

'Pi Pikachu!' Pikachu cheered, while staring at Misty and her former signature Pokemon.

Meanwhile, in Pallet Town, Delia Ketchum stared out of the window, worrying about her son. 'Why didn't I tell him?' she thought.
Last edited:
Chapter 2

One week after reuniting with each other, Ash and Misty reached the shore of Cinnabar Island. Misty thanked her Gyarados for the ride and returned the Atrocious Pokemon to his Poke Ball.

'Well, we're at the shore now. Where on the island should we look for Mr. Hale?' Misty asked, while looking at the sea.

'I have no idea. Maybe we should go to the Pokemon Center?' Ash suggested.

'Good idea!'

However, just before the two reached the Pokemon Center, they saw a familiar face. An old man wearing a brown wig walked up to the two. 'Hey, Ash and Misty, long time no see! What brings you to Cinnabar Island?'

'I'm looking for Spencer Hale! Do you know where he lives, Blaine?' Ash asked.

'I'll tell you... But only if you beat me in a Pokemon battle!' Blaine suggested. 'One on one.'

'You're on!' Ash answered. He never shied away from a challenge. Especially not if it was the man who he had one of the best battles ever with, back when his Charizard defeated Blaine's Magmar.

'That's the spirit! Go, Rapidash!' Blaine shouted. A white horse emerged from the Cinnabar Gym Leader's Poke Ball. 'Rapi Dash!'

'That's a strong-looking Rapidash!' Ash complimented. 'However, he's no match for my Bayleef!' The yellow sauropod with the leaf on her head came out of her Poke Ball and got on top of Ash.

'Bayleef, I'd love to cuddle, but first, you need to beat the **** out of that Rapidash!' Ash said.

'Bayleef? Why Bayleef? Ash, Rapidash is a Fire Pokemon! Why Bayleef?' Misty asked her friend. Grass Pokemon were weak against Fire types! Ash should know that by now!

'I Baylieve in Bayleef!' Ash joked, causing both Blaine and Misty to facepalm. However, despite his stupid choice of Pokemon, she decided to keep her mouth shut and decided to be the referee. 'This is a one on one Pokemon battle between Ash from Pallet Town and Blaine from Cinnabar Island. Trainers ready? Go!'

'Ash, you'd better have some Burn Heals!' Blaine teased. Then, he looked at his Pokemon. 'Rapidash, let's end this quickly. Flame Wheel!'

The horse ran at her enemy at high speed. However, Bayleef jumped away just in time to avoid getting struck by the fiery horse. 'Bay!' the Grass Pokemon squealed.

'Don't give up, Rapidash! Try another Flame Wheel!' Blaine commanded.

Ash looked around and realized he was battling near the shore! He knew what to do! 'Bayleef, when Rapidash gets close to you, grab her with your Vine Whip and throw her in the water!'

And so, the Grass Pokemon grabbed the horse with her vines and smacked her into the sea. After getting the Fire type wet, Bayleef used her vines to grab the horse and smack her down on the ground. Then, she finished the battle with a Body Slam.

'Rapidash, no!' Blaine screamed.

'Rapidash is defeated! Bayleef is the winner! Victory goes to Ash!' Misty said.

After returning his Pokemon to his Poke Ball, Blaine walked up to Ash, who was down on the ground, squashed by his Bayleef. 'Ash, that was a very smart idea, using the location to your advantage.'

'Thanks, Blaine!' Ash said, while Bayleef kissed her Trainer on his cheek. 'Can you tell me where Mr. Hale lives?'

'He lives in a cottage on this island, five minutes away from here,' Blaine answered.

'Thank you, Blaine!' Misty said. 'It was nice seeing you again.'

'I've gotta get back to my Gym to feed the Pokemon. Bye!' the Gym Leader said. 'Oh, and you two are a cute couple!'

'We're not a couple!' Misty snapped. However, Blaine was unable to hear her, since he was too far away by now.

'Wow, she's so hot when she's pissed off,' Ash thought. Often, when he and Misty were arguing in the past, he pitched a tent in his jeans. After all, the arguments were their way of building up sexual tension, even though the boy from Pallet Town used to be unaware of his feelings for Misty. Used to be, until Brock told him about the Pidgeot and the Beedrill.

Ash wanted to get up, but his Bayleef still squashed him with her Body Slam, much to Misty's chagrin. 'Bayleef, get off him, he's mine!' she thought. However, she could not say that out loud...

Ten minutes later, Ash knocked on the door of the cottage west from the place he battled Blaine. A man with long, brown hair opened the door. 'Hello, can I help you?' he asked.

'I'm Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town, and I need to ask you something, Mr. Hale,' our hero said.

'Ketchum? That name sounds familiar,' Spencer said. 'Come in.'

After introducing themselves, Ash and Misty sat down on the couch. Spencer took place on a seat opposite of the couch, to talk to his visitors. 'What brings you here?' he asked.

'Well, my mother told me something, and I wanted to ask you something about that,' Ash said.

'Your mother? Ketchum? Delia Ketchum?' Spencer asked.

'Yes, she's my mother. And I'm trying to find out who my father is, and you might be able to help me with that,' Ash explained.

'Your father?'

'Yes. A while ago, my mother told me a story. Eleven years ago, during the Bailey's Festival, she got drunk and partied with you, she said. She described a man named Spencer Hale, wearing short shorts and kissing her. However, she was drunk that night, so she doesn't remember what happened after that kiss. A few weeks later, she found out that she was pregnant with me. Do you know what happened?' Ash asked.

'Ah, Delia. She is what I'd call... Well, she's a slut,' Spencer said. 'She spent the evening with a lot of different guys that night.'

'Hey! Don't insult my mother!' Ash snapped. 'But Mr. Hale, are you my father? She only told me about spending time with you.'

''No, I can't be your father,' Spencer said.

'Pikapi,' Pikachu sighed, while he petted Togetic, who fell asleep in his arms.

'Why not? Mum said she made out with you at that party.'

'Well, I never slept with her. I was about to ask her if she wanted to come over to my place to... Well, you know... However, at that moment, she saw a muscular man with blonde hair walking around the area where the festival took place. She walked away from me to talk to him. She said she'd come back to me, but she never did.'

'A muscular man? Can you tell me a bit more about that man?' Ash asked.

'Well, he wore a green coat and had spiky, blonde hair. Oh, and he had a Pikachu on his shoulder, and I think I heard him talking to your mother about becoming a Gym Leader in Vermilion City.'

'Do you know that man's name?' Ash asked.

'Sorry, I don't know him and I don't know what his name is,' Spencer answered.

'Okay...' Ash said. 'Thanks anyways.'

He, Misty, Pikachu and Togetic got up, said goodbye to Spencer and left the cottage. Then, they sat down near the shore to rest. Because the weather was hot, Ash decided to take his shirt off.

'Misty, what should we do?' Ash asked. 'If we don't know who that muscular man is, we don't have any clues...'

'Wait, I think I know who Spencer was talking about! He said the man was blonde, had a Pikachu and talked about being a Gym Leader in Vermilion... That must be Lt. Surge!'

'Hey yeah!' Ash said. 'Let's go to Vermilion City and pay him a visit!'

While saying that, he noticed that Misty was staring at his abs. Was Misty checking him out? He always thought girls didn't interest him, until he realized something when Brock gave him sexual education. The girl he had such strong feelings for was drooling over his bare body!

While Ash and Misty were talking about Surge, Togetic decided to plant her lips on Pikachu's cheek, which was even more red than normally. This caused Pikachu's tail to harden. The electric mouse stuck his tongue in the Fairy type's mouth. Then, Togetic rested on the ground, laying on her back. Pikachu decided to give the white Pokemon a belly rub. He gently moved his paws around Togetic's body and stroked up and down, up and down, and more and more down...
Chapter 3

Five days after visiting Spencer Hale on Cinnabar Island, Ash and Misty took a walk through Vermilion City.

'Misty, why does this have to be so difficult? Why can't mum just tell me who my father is?' Ash moaned.

'Well, because she doesn't remember,' Misty said. 'I'm sure she'd tell you if she knew.'

'Why did the writers of Pokemon have to make her a slut?' Ash asked. 'Why couldn't they just give her a husband and make them monogamous?'

'Ash, don't slut shame!' Misty snapped. 'People are free to **** whoever they want, whether it's casual or in a relationship!'

'I agree. It's just... I wish I knew who my father is!'

'Well, maybe we'll find out,' Misty said, while the two reached the Vermilion City Gym.

And so, ten minutes later, Ash and Misty sat on the couch in the Gym's living room, next to Surge.

'... And that's what Spencer Hale said. He saw you talking to my mother,' Ash said.

'What is your mother's name? And what does she look like? I'm trying to remember,' Surge asked.

'She's a brown-haired woman named Delia Ketchum,' Ash said. Then, he grabbed a photo album out of his backpack and showed Surge a picture Todd Snap took of her.

'Hey, she's hot!' Surge said. 'And I think I remember her!'

'You do? So does that mean you slept with her?' Ash asked.

The Gym Leader frowned. 'Why do you need to know that?'

'Well, I'm trying to find out who my father is. I need to know who she slept with!'

'Pikapi!' Pikachu begged the Gym Leader.

'Oh, I didn't sleep with Delia,' Surge said.

'You didn't?' Misty asked.

'No, of course not! She was drunk!' Surge said. 'I tried to seduce her, but when I noticed that she was too drunk to consent to sex, I left her alone. When I left the party, I think I saw her with a purple-haired man. A pretty boy who came to the party with his red-haired friend and a talking Meowth.'

Upon hearing Surge's explanation, Ash's face turned purple, even more purple than James' hair. 'NO! JAMES IS MY FATHER! PLEASE LET THIS BE A HORRIBLE LIE!'

'Sorry, but that purple-haired guy is the last person I saw her with,' Surge confirmed. 'About that... Half an hour ago, when I took a walk this morning, I think I saw that man, his Meowth and that red-haired woman enter the pub next to this Gym!'

'Thanks, Surge!' Ash said. Then, he got up, grabbed Misty's hand, stormed out of the Gym and went to the pub, without even thanking Surge for the conversation.

When entering the pub, Pikachu pointed at James. 'Pikapi!'

'Hey, it's James!' Misty said.

'Hello, twerps! What are you two doing here?' Jessie asked.

'We're looking for James. We need to ask him something,' Misty explained.

'That's fine, but not until we did our motto!' Meowth teased.

'We don't have time for that! Can we please just ask James one question and leave?' Ash asked.

'I don't know what you want to talk about,' James said. 'But please just let us do our motto. Meowth wrote a special version for you two!'

'Fine...' Misty moaned.

Then, Jessie got up and shouted. 'Prepare for trouble!'

'And make it double,' James said.

'To protect shippers from devastation!'

'To unite all PokeShippers within our nation!'

'To support AAML, Ash And Misty Love!'

'To let twerps look at the stars above!'



'Team Rocket can see you two are lovestruck!'

'So surrender now, or prepare to ****!

'Meowth, good luck!'

'What the **** was that?' Misty asked. 'And what's PokeShipping?'

'Don't you know what that is?' Jessie asked.

Ash stared at the red-haired woman. He had no idea what she and James were talking about.

'Shipping is the belief that two people belong together. There are different shippings. People who want you to be with Serena are AmourShippers,' Jessie explained. 'May and Drew is ContestShipping, James and me is RocketShipping.'

'And you and Misty together, that's PokeShipping. Brock, Tracey, Delia, Violet, Lily, Daisy, Jessie, Meowth and me are all PokeShippers.'

'Ash and me together? That's preposterous!' Misty snapped, while blushing heavily, much to Togetic's and Pikachu's laughter.

'Then why are you blushing, you little lovebird?' Jessie teased.

'We didn't come here to talk about Misty and me hooking up, which we're not going to do,' Ash protested. 'We're here to ask James something.'

'What is it?' James asked. Meanwhile, Pikachu hopped on a table in the pub and started drinking ketchup. He gave another bottle to Togetic, who got drunk on the red power food as well.

'James, I won't beat around the bush. I need to know something.'

'Okay, shoot.'

'Are you my father?' Ash asked. 'Surge told me that he saw you talking to my mother eleven years ago in Pallet Town. Did you sleep with her?'

'James? That's impossible! He's gay!' Meowth protested.

'I am not gay!' James snapped.

'He's gay!' Meowth said. 'And he looks fabulous when he's wearing a pink, frilly dress when we try to steal your Pikachu, twerp! James is a fabulous, gay drag queen!'

'I am not!' James said. 'Just because I'm bisexual, doesn't mean I'm gay!'

'Prove it!' Jessie said. The female Team Rocket member has been waiting for ten years for her friend to make a move on her, but it never happened. Was James gay, not interested or just too shy to try anything?

'Prove it? That's fine!' James snapped. He walked up to Jessie, put his hands on her buttocks and stuck his tongue in her mouth for five minutes, without any interruption. Meanwhile, Meowth, Ash and Misty looked away and decided to check on Pikachu and Togetic, who were drunk after drinking two bottles of ketchup.

Ten minues after kissing Jessie, James tapped Ash on the shoulder. 'Hey, twerp! We need to talk.'

'James! Did you **** my mum?' Ash snapped. 'Tell me, or I'll make Pikachu use Thunderbolt on you!'

'Oh no! Pikachu is too drunk to attack!' James teased. 'However, I'll tell you. But you have to do something for me first!'

'Okay, what is it?' Ash asked.

James moved his head towards Ash's and whispered in his ear. 'Confess your feelings to the twerpette. If you do, I'll tell you what I remember.'

'But I don't have those feelings for Misty!'

'Come on, twerp! Everyone knows you two are gonna get it on someday! Just do yourself a favour, and I'll talk! I finally opened up to Jessie today and fingered her when you and Misty weren't watching. Now it's time for you to open up to your psychotic redhead twerpette!'

Confess to Misty? How would he do that? He wanted to do it later, when he felt ready. Not in a pub full of people, including Team Rocket! However, he didn't have a choice. He walked up to Misty, who was checking on the drunk ketchup addicts.

'Misty, what's up with Pikachu and Togetic?' Ash asked.

'They're drunk. They had too much ketchup!' Misty explained. 'It looked like they were trying to... Well, you know...'

'What do you mean?'

'Sex! Pikachu and Togetic were trying to have sex! S-E-X! In a pub! That's ****ing inappropriate! It's fine if they get it on, but not while there are people watching them! So yeah, I'm holding Togetic now, to make sure Pikachu can't stick his thing in her! When we get out of this pub, we'll let them have their fun.'

'Pikachu found love? That's so cute!' Ash said. 'But Misty, I need to tell you something.'
Chapter 4

'Pikachu found love? That's so cute!' Ash said. 'But Misty, I need to tell you something.'

'What is it?' Ash asked, while James stared at the two people he shipped.

'Misty, you are... I think...' Ash stuttered. 'I am...'

'What is it, Ash?' Misty asked. Was he finally ready to confess? Was this real? Finally, her life had purpose again! After releasing Togetic, being locked up in the Gym against her will and missing Ash, her life lost purpose. Now, with Togetic and Ash back in her life, she felt like life was finally going to be good.

'Misty, when Danny and Rudy... And when you wore a skimpy bikini... And when you wore that mermaid outfit...'

'Ash, I get it,' Misty smiled.

'You do?'

'Don't speak,' Misty said. She moved her head towards Ash's, wrapped her arms around him and planted her lips on his, causing the boy from Pallet Town to blush heavily. From a distance, Jessie, James and Meowth stared at the twerps and even took a picture of them! After a minute of kissing on the lips, Ash challenged Misty to a game of tongue wrestling. While feeling warm and fuzzy, she felt his bulge poking against her body.

After watching Ash and Misty make out for fifteen minutes, James walked up to the couple. 'That was awesome! Are you two together now?'

'You bet we are, James!' Ash said. 'Right, Misty?' The Cerulean City Gym Leader nodded.

'Ash, a deal is a deal,' James said. 'What do you want to know about the Pallet Town Bailey's Festival eleven years ago?'

'Well, Surge said he saw you and my mother together that evening. I need to know who she slept with that evening, so I can find out who my father is,' Ash explained.

'Twerp, I'm afraid you're never going to find out.'

'Why not?'

'I ****ed her, but so did several other men at that event! And I've heard that she slept with half of the men in Pallet Town. So yeah, I'm afraid you're never going to find out.'

When hearing James' answer, Ash shed a tear.

'Come on, twerp! You can't help it that your mother is a slut!'

'James, don't slut shame women! Didn't you have casual sex with Delia that night?' Jessie snapped.

'Sorry, babe,' James said, while putting his hand on Jessie's rear end, much to her pleasure.

'So yeah, twerps, I'm afraid there's no way to find out. She had sex with at least ten men that night, I think.'

'That's a shame,' Misty said. 'Still, thank you for talking to us.'

When Ash and Misty got up and were about to leave the pub, Misty realized something. When making out with Ash, she forgot all about the drunk Pikachu and Togetic! 'Ash, where is Pikachu?'

'I don't know! We need to find them, before they have sex in public! If they do that, we might get fined for it! After all, if the Pokemon do illegal stuff, the law states that the Trainers are responsible,' Ash screamed. 'I can't afford a criminal record!'

Luckily for our heroes, they saw the Pokemon in a corner, close to the bathroom, without anybody seeing them, since all other people were standing in line to get a drink from the bartender.

'What are those two doing?' Ash asked. He saw Pikachu moving up and down on top of Togetic. The electric mouse did NOT take kindly to Ash and Misty disturbing his moment, causing him to jump up and use Thunderbolt on the couple!

'Ash, do you realize what just happened?' Misty asked.

'Pikachu and Togetic are having sex!' Ash screamed. Luckily for him, the other pub visitors were talking so loud, that no one could hear the Thunderbolt or the screaming Ash.

'Ash, let's give them some privacy,' Misty suggested. 'Let's turn around, so we're not looking at them, while also making sure that other people can't see what they're doing.'

'Pi Pikachu!' the yellow Pokemon said to his girlfriend. 'Finally those stupid humans give us some ****ing privacy!'

'Yes! I love Misty, but I wish she wouldn't stop us from having some fun,' the drunk Togetic squealed. 'Toge Toge Tic!'

And so, Pikachu got back on top of Togetic and allowed his Metapod to enter Togetic's Cloyster, much to Togetic's joy. 'Toge! Toge! Toge! Toge! Tic!' she moaned.

'Pika! Pika! Pika! Pika!' Ash's friend shouted. Despite being drunk, his Metapod was still able to aim his String Shot at Togetic's Cloyster.

'Togetic!' Misty's signature Pokemon moaned. After giving Pikachu another hug, the drunk Fairy Pokemon flew in Misty's arms.

'Are you and Pikachu ready to leave?' Misty asked.

Togetic nodded.

'Did you have fun with Pikachu?' Misty teased.'

'Toge Togetic,' the Pokemon confirmed.

'I'll hold you while walking. You're too drunk to fly on your own,' Misty said. Then, Ash grabbed Pikachu and left the pub.

'Where do we go now?' Misty asked. 'I have only one week left before I have to be back at the Gym, and we have no clue where to look next...'

After noticing that the drunk Pikachu fell asleep, Ash had an idea. 'Hey, I know! Let's go back to Pallet Town!'
Chapter 5

In the Pokemon Center of Vermilion City, Ash and Misty stood in front of the video phone and saw Professor Oak getting Tackled by a purple, poisonous blob. 'That Muk of yours is getting on my nerves,' the Professor moaned.

'Professor, I have to ask you something,' Ash said.

'Okay, what is it?'

'I remember that you had a machine to do Pokemon DNA tests with. That way, you found out that your Meganium is the father of many Grass Pokemon at your Pokemon Corral. Would you be able to do a DNA test on humans with that machine?'

'On humans? Why?'

'Well, I want to know who my father is,' Ash said. 'My mum told me she some time with Spencer Hale eleven years ago, but they never did it, because she got distracted by Surge. However, when we talked to Surge, he said he didn't sleep with drunk women. Then, James said he slept with mum. However, he also said she had sex with at least ten men that night. Would you be able to track down all men she had sex with that night and do a DNA test?'

'Wow, I didn't see that one coming...' Ash's friend said. 'However, I think I can help you. Come to my lab in two days and we'll talk about this.'

'Thank you, Professor!' Ash said.

'You're welcome,' he said. 'Hey, why are Togetic and Pikachu looking so worn out? It's very early in the evening, too early for them to sleep...'

'That's a long story. We'll tell you on Thursday,' Misty said. 'Bye!'

Two days later, Ash and Misty sat on the sofa in Professor Oak's lab, next to both Delia and the Professor.

'Professor, when are we going to do the DNA test? Do you know how to find out what men my mother slept with? I know she ****ed James, but what about the others?' Ash asked.

'Well, we don't need to do a DNA test,' the Professor said. 'I already know who your father is.'

'Who is it?' Misty asked.

'Well, it's a long story,' Delia said. 'But after the party I told you about... Well, the next morning, I woke up with a hangover. Next to me, I saw Professor Oak, wearing white boxers and a lab coat. He looked so handsome with his lab coat and nothing under it... In fact, he still does!'

'What do you mean, mum?' Ash asked. 'So you slept with Professor Oak. But how do we know who my father is? James said you slept with at least ten men that night!'

'Well, when you were a baby, she asked me if I was willing to do a DNA test,' Professor Oak explained. 'Then, we found out that you and I share the same DNA.'

'What do you mean?' Ash asked.

'Ash. I am your father.'

'You? But why didn't you tell me?' Ash snapped. 'And mum, why didn't you tell me? You knew all this time!'

'Professor Oak and I didn't want the town to start gossiping about a sex scandal between a rich Pokemon Professor and a drunk, vulnerable woman, so we kept this a secret,' Delia explained. 'I mean, I had a reputation for constantly being drunk during parties, so if the town found out, they would think Professor Oak was taking advantage of me. But yeah, we were planning on telling you in a few years, but when you asked Professor Oak, I mean, dad, to do a DNA test, we knew we had to tell you the truth.'

After all these years, Professor Oak was his father. His friend, his mentor, his rival's grandfather... Even though he wish he knew earlier, he understood why his mother was unable to tell him sooner.

'Sorry for not telling you earlier, Ash!' Professor Oak apologised. 'I understand if this is difficult for you. I won't expect you to start calling me dad, father or daddy if you're not ready for that.'

'Don't worry, dad! I'd much rather be your son than James' son!' Ash laughed.

Finally. The mystery was solved. Ash knew who got his mother pregnant at the drinking party eleven years ago. 'Dad, it'll take some time to get used to what I just learned, but I'm happy to have you as my father.'

'And I'm proud to have you as my son, Ash! I love you!' the Professor said. 'This is why I've tried to be your friend during your journey, and call you on the phone all the time. Even though I couldn't open up about the fact that you're my son, I still wanted to be involved in your life.'

'Does this mean Gary will have to call me Uncle Ash from now on?' Ash teased.

'Yes, it does. I gave him a phone call yesterday, and I told him I was going to tell you today. But remember that nobody, aside from you, Misty, your mother, Gary and I are allowed to know about this!'

'Mrs. Ketchum, Professor Oak... There's just one thing I want to know,' Misty asked. 'I see you two together all the time when you visit Ash during League tournaments. Was Ash the result of a fling, or are you two together?'

'Well, back then, Delia was in her wild phase and had one night stands with many men,' Professor Oak said. 'However, I was in love with her. When Ash started his journey, Delia was alone more often, so I visited her every day. Because of that, we got closer and closer, and we decided to be together when we watched Ash's Johto League battles.'

'We were planning to tell you at some point, but never got around to it,' Delia added to that. 'But yesterday, Professor Oak proposed to me! We're getting married next year!'

'That's amazing, mum!' Ash said.

'That may be, but did you change your underwear during the past three weeks? You smell like a Gloom!' Delia snapped at her son.

'Mum, please...' Ash moaned.

To change the topic and distract Delia, Professor Oak asked Ash a question. 'Since you're travelling with Misty... Does this mean I have a daughter-in-law?'

'Yes, it does! In Vermilion City, we finally confessed our feelings to each other and made out!' Ash said, while putting his hand on Misty's bare leg. Then, Misty started licking her boyfriend's neck in front of her parents-in-law!

'Well, congratulations! You two are a really cute couple. However, you two are acting a little inappropriate... Public display of affection is cute, but this is too much...' Delia said.

'If you want, you two can use the guest room upstairs to have some fun,' Professor Oak suggested.

'Thank you!' Ash said. Was he finally going to lose his virginity to the girl of his dreams?

One our later, it turned out that he did. Both he and Misty were deflowered. Now, they finally knew why their friend Brock was so obsessed with sex! 'This is the best day of my life!' Misty moaned, while her Cloyster used Surf. Meanwhile, Ash's Metapod released his String Shot inside Cloyster.

Half an hour later, Pikachu and Togetic entered the guest room and gave their Trainers a hug.

'Pikachu, sex is amazing!' Ash said.

'Pi Pikachu! Pika Pika Pi Pikachu!' the yellow mouse replied. 'I know, I just got laid as well! Togetic and I fooled around in the corner of Professor Oak's living room. We didn't even get caught!'

Meanwhile, Misty held Togetic. 'You feel heavy, Togetic. Is something wrong?'

Togetic shook her head. 'No, Misty! Nothing wrong!'

Then, the white Pokemon popped out an egg!

'Pi Pikachu!' Pikachu cheered.

'I'm so happy for you, Pikachu! You're going to be an amazing father!' Ash said, while giving his Pokemon a high five.

Togetic hugged her boyfriend. After that, Misty grabbed her Pokemon, put the Fairy type next to her and petted the mother in the making on her head. 'I'm so proud of you, Togetic!'

'Toge! Togetic!'