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Why Brendan's Hair Is White

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Charizard Champion#06

Spiral Warrior
This is my first sprite comic that I have ever made (and my first thread).
Basically this is a comic about a hair parlour in hoenn where characters from the Pokemon series come in and get there hair done... badly... and it shows how each character got their hair that way. Enjoy!
Note: The first two aren't that good but I got better so don't stop reading after those.
1:Brendan
2:Brendan 2
3:Wally
4:Archie
5:Maxie
6:Greta
7:Sidney
8:Tucker
9:Steven
10:Wallace
11:phoebe
12:Bruno
13:Gary
14:Gary (Alternate Ending)
15:Wattson
16:Back to School Special
17:Fire Red/Leaf Green Girl
18:Blaine
19:Lance
20:Nurse Joy
21:May
22: Professor Oak
23: Drake
24: Drake (Alternate Ending)
25:Flannery
26: Drew
27:Christmas Special
28:Wynaut Special
29:Agatha
30:Roxanne
31:professor Birch
32:Norman
33:Rocket Grunts
34:Akagi
35:Koga
36:Bug Catcher
37:Lt. Surge
38:Filler: Pokemon XD 2
39:Sabrina
40:Erika
41:Ending Comic
Newest Comic:
EndingComic2.png

Thanx 4 any comments!

Fan Art:
By once in a blue Mew
By wandering mew
Specials:
Back to School Special.
Christmas Special
Wynaut Special
Banner:
Banner4Comic2-1.png

And for sigs:http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c393/CZC006/Banner4Comic2-1.png
And the new banner:http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c393/CZC006/Banner4Comic3.png

Credits: The Spriters Resource for backgrounds, Chris Li for overworlds, and Photobucket for hosting.
 
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jellsprout

Well-Known Member
Why does the hair parlor say "Hair Parlor" on the roof? How can anyone read it when it's there?
Don't say "A 1/2 Hr Later" but "Half an hour later". Also don't type that all over the panel but just small in a white box in one corner or something.
 
ForeverFlame

ForeverFlame

Well-Known Member
Pretty Good... I'm guessing this isn't a comic series?
I like it, but there are a few things that needs improving. Here's some Constructive Criticism for ya. (And/Or Suggestions. xP)

'Hair Parlor' should be in custom letters, like the ones on the Pokemon Centers and Pokemarts in RSE.

'A 1/2 Hr Later' should be 'A Half-Hour Later' and it would be better in a white block, in the top corner.


EDIT: Wow Jellsprout, we posted like the exact same thing. :O
 
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Charizard Champion#06

Spiral Warrior
Thanx for the comments. You're right ForeverFlame, this isn't a series.
Good idea with the custom letters though.
The reason I had "Hair Parlor" on the roof is because I wanted the readers to see that it was a hair parlor... the thing is I didn't realze that Brendan couldn't. I'll put "A Half-Hour Later" on the top.
What did u think of the idea?
 
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Pikip kid

Guest
um i don't think he's really got white hair isn't it a hat
doesn't he have black hair
 
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Ilex

Oddish plzkthnxbai
Try not to save as as JPEG. Try PNG, it works the best ^^

This is average for a first comic, as I see you're still trying things out.
The text is really tidy for using the pencil tool, but try using the text tool. When making your next comic try focusing on plot and conflict, and certainly longer.

Btw, Bredndan's hair actually IS brown, he's just wearing a white hat believe or not.
 
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Charizard Champion#06

Spiral Warrior
Ilex said:
Try not to save as as JPEG. Try PNG, it works the best ^^

This is average for a first comic, as I see you're still trying things out.
The text is really tidy for using the pencil tool, but try using the text tool. When making your next comic try focusing on plot and conflict, and certainly longer.

Btw, Bredndan's hair actually IS brown, he's just wearing a white hat believe or not.
Click to expand...
It looks like his hair is white in this pic \/
http://www.studiopokemon.com/imagenes/personajes/brendan_may.jpg
I don't think it's a hat.
Anyways the text tool on my computer didn't work so I had to create my own text. I just wanted to make it a short funny comic without any plot or conflict, it isn't a series. Once I've finished editing it I'll post it.
Thanx 4 the comments again!
 
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Neopolis

Battle Pyramid Champion
^I think it was shown in the Manga or something. But meh, either way, if it is his hair, he might just've dyed it...
 
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Johto Trainer

Guest
lol....is that really it?;p..however the sign needs a wee little bit of work
 
ForeverFlame

ForeverFlame

Well-Known Member
Wow, wow, WOW!
That's a pretty good improvement.
It still needs improving, though. So I'll continue to crit you, until you're up to par.

You should have blank-outlined panels, just to make the comic look more official.

It shouldn't be at the flower shop, it should be at a custom-made building put in a real place in Hoenn.

You should try to make it PNG instead of JPEG.

You can do SO much more with this comic. You can make it 6 panels, or it could even have 10 episodes! You can have it show the inside of the Hair Parlor. It can show how the person that did his hair was a mad-scientist or w/e. Reach for the stars, don't just make it there for whatever reason.
(That isn't really crit, it's more of a prep-talk.)
 
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Charizard Champion#06

Spiral Warrior
I finally finished the second comic!
Here it is:
http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c393/CZC006/c5fd55a4.png
The person who did his hair wasn't looking at what she was doing so she grabbed the wrong bottle. She didn't even need a bottle for trimming his hair. She must have been a new employee. I even saved the comic on png.
 
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Tabby Catty

Courtney loves Ruby
Even though Brenden's hair is black and the white is a goofy hat I liked the topic. I think that maybe you should do something like about how people like Maxie, Tucker, and Greta go their hair styles how about that idea?
 
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