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Wolf Whispers

Ropav

Howls of Loneliness
So I decided after completing five chapters of my other book that I hated it so I started it over and so far I have be getting good responses from people reading my prologue telling me it was a good decision. I am currently working on chapter one but here is the prologue please review it and tell me areas I could work on and what you think would improve it. So without further ado here is the beginning of the end:



Prologue: Darkness Descends

The past haunts, the future looks bleak. we are in the present but we all continue as if we live in the past. It was a dark and dreary night when my life was forever changed. I had become someone who I had thought only existed in legends, but I am getting ahead of myself let me start from the beginning and by the beginning I mean the very beginning when the world was young, everything perfect and where Wolfsbane Warriors never existed.

Peace, Friendship, Hope, Love! All those words came to mind when someone mentioned the realm of Leviatha because it was a land that nobody ever attacked, the evil ones feared it and the homeless came to it because they knew they would be welcomed. It was a place of healing it didn't need any warriors to protect it because nobody ever had a desire to attack it. Ruled by the people it only had one law this one law is what became its biggest downfall: You may not attack anyone unless you deem they are worthy to be attacked. Since no one deemed anyone worthy to be attacked no suspected that their latest visitor would bring their peace to an end the time had finally come when Leviatha would become like the rest of the world and it would become worse it would become a dark void that whoever entered into this void would become poisoned with hatred and negativity it would destroy their minds by attacking their most venerable points. For one negative person is all it takes to poison an army of positive people and thus this stranger started spreading the poison. When he entered the realm all the animals fled because they could sense his aura of pure wickedness and hatred. The people weren't so lucky they were so unsuspecting because of the one law that they never suspected the evil that was about to befall them.

That very day that evil struck a baby was born and because the aura of evil was so strong in that area the baby was cloaked in hatred even before it could think for itself it became far more evil then evil itself. That’s when the storms started dark storms that destroyed everything and anything that strayed into its path. The people learned to fear the storms, they learned to predict when they would happen and knew to get indoors as soon as they saw the signs that the storm was starting. Just the other day it was a bright peaceful day and they had just celebrated 500 years of peace in that time nobody was hurt, nothing was stolen it never rained for long and everyone was happy. The days progressed as the storms put everyone in bad moods. The baby kept growing and as the days turned into years and the baby grew into a man it was clear he was pure evil his name was never mentioned because every time someone mentioned his name they were found dead the next day. The people didn't know what to fear more the storms or this man that was raised in the little town of Leki. He was not only evil he was cunning and could easily outsmart even the wisest elder in the blink of an eye without some much as thinking. He acted on whim and anytime he felt the need to bully someone he would just plan a strategy and once the plan was set in place the person that was the victim stood no chance whatsoever and usually ended up dead quicker than planned making him pick another person to scheme against it went on for years and the darkness continued to grow. The people tried to find someone that could save them from this evil that had entered their land but nobody was courageous enough to stand up to him. They feared him and thus let fear define them destroying their hope they gave in to despair and tarnished their name to where they were the most feared realm. Nobody in the other realms would show up anymore and they became isolated. They needed someone to rescue them, they needed someone to light the way and lead them out of the dark they needed peace again. Chaos ensued and destruction was becoming all they knew.

The man who first invaded the land had long ago since returned to his home but his seed was planted the day that the baby was born. Their hatred grew their negativity increased only increasing the dark tempest outside. Malice and pride reigned in their hearts as each man fought to survive they no longer helped each other instead they pushed aside the weak and made sure only the strong survived. Nobody wanted to live in this moment, nobody wanted to survive anymore but something kept them from giving up. They continued to fight this worried the man he wanted total destruction he had to find out what was giving them the reason to keep fighting. So he followed them made sure he knew everywhere they were going and every time he found someone that gave the negative something to be positive about he destroyed that hope. He wanted destruction and despair to reign and as if he wasn't bad enough he had a partner a dark horse that was just as cold hearted as his master. The stallion was midnight black powerful and wicked anytime the stallion was let out everyone ran for fear because the stallion was a cold blooded killer and wouldn't even hesitate for one second. When they were together that’s when chaos was the most likely to happen. People knew the stallion by its deadly stares and his name struck fear in their hearts for his name was Demonis which basically says he is a demon. The last brave person to speak the name of the man lost his life when Demonis attacked him. Everyone lived in fear but nobody could make it stop, nobody could change it because everyone was a coward because they had nothing left to fight for but there selves and because they only fought for their selves nobody could find the courage or strength to fight the evil. The darkness had come to reflect their hearts and nobody could fight it because nobody wished to risk their lives for another they had all lost hope and when one loses hope they find it hard to fight another day.

They were like coyotes fighting over whatever they could get to survive the young usually survived because they were quick and strong whereas the old couldn't fight enough to survive. As the old died the young soon forgot what it was like before the darkness invaded the land and some of them even joined the man and became his minions known as the Dark Raiders they carried out his dirty deeds and made everyone’s lives even more miserable if someone even so much as looked at one of them they were instantly put to death the let darkness control their hearts and they were very gifted at destroying others which wasn't a very good thing. They focused all their time on controlling the population and making sure only the strong and elite joined their cause. They even began making the strong join and if the person refused they killed them off. They wanted no opposition and preferred to make sure they stayed in charge. The people realized they needed help from someone but they didn't know who they could trust turn to because nobody living within 1,000 miles of them wanted anything to do with them for every man was for himself and nobody wanted to lift a finger to help another. They all hated anyone that tried to a light because they just knew that person would never succeed for the evil one was not only gifted physically he also possessed dark powers that could manipulate time and space, he could create a dark void to swallow you up making you think you were gone for years causing you to go mental and lose your mind, or he could simply knock you out with a suffocating hold of pure evil that makes even the evil ones scream in anguish. Nobody could stand up to his power and nobody ever tried to either because they would rather have lived in misery instead of dying to fight for a better life. They perished by thousands all dying off because they couldn't resist their selves. They couldn't fight themselves long enough to try to make a difference they let fear control them.

The tempest was raging outside while everyone was preparing to weather yet another storm. Nobody knew who or what was causing such chaotic storms they just knew their peace was slowly being destroyed day by day. What had happened? Why was their perfect world turning so imperfect? The people watched the pounding rain fall and not even the most positive of them could shake off the feeling that something evil had finally found their home. Leviatha was becoming enshrouded in shadows and for the first time they actually needed protectors they needed warriors but they had no idea who they could choose for nobody was courageous enough to stand up to the darkness that was slowly poisoning all their minds turning them negative. This darkness had to go before it was too late but who would step up and fight it? Who would become the hero and save them from the nightmare that had invaded their land?
 
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JX Valentine

Ever-Discordant
Hey! Welcome back to the forum!

As a heads up, you might find your readership will go up (or at least, y'know, be sustained) if you don't use color tags. This is because you never know which skin your readers are using, so sometimes, your text might be a bit difficult to read. (In this case, Serebii uses a lot of skins that just don't work well with blue text.)

Once that's cleared up, I might be back to drop a proper review. Just wanted to give you a leg up with your restart. b)'')b
 

Ropav

Howls of Loneliness
Thanks I edited it to black is it easier to read now?
 
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