~Worship~

[mysteriousfossil]

Chapter List Up!
Chapter 1:Heroes
Chapter 2:Horrors of the Night
Chapter 3:Flashbacks
Chapter 4:Enigma Palace
Chapter 5:Recruiting An Army
Chapter 6:Faces Revealed


This fic is started with a poem.... a long poem:

Worship
The stars shine
Tears are shed
Life continues
Anger is fed

A hero is born
A hero fights
They do it for others
They do what is right

In return a gift is given
The gift of a place
A place in memory
A worshiped face

Worship the heroes
Worship the gods
Worship you may
Against all odds

Now take the word
And let it spread
The word of worship
In thoughts it will embed

When all seems lost
And hope is gone
A new face rises
Above the dawn

Here is an instance
Of such fate
Where the hero comes in
All too late

Now we hope
That he can hear
The peoples struggled cries...
Of fear​

 

[mysteriousfossil]

Chapter 1
Heroes

What makes a hero?
Is it because they save us?
Is it because they are special?
Do they do it for us or for fame?
You don’t need powers
You don’t need to save lives
All you need is to inspire others
And live out the dream to help others​

A lonely child stepped onto the frosty path in the dark. His breath created clouds in the air as he paced along. The sounds of the night called to him but he did not answer. All was dark, all was peaceful. Yet to the child, something was wrong. Now he realized that he was not safe. His breaths sped up and his heart beat fast. As his pace continued to grow, he broke out into a run, then a sprint. The night closed in on the path, eating away at it like a hungry beast. He desperately tried to reach the lights but they were so far off. Finally, the night closed in and his scream echoed, scaring away all animals nearby.

The sun’s rays broke through the glass and poured into the room. All was still silent. A teenager woke up for a new day. He groped into the air in a tired stretch. A voice called for him from downstairs. He lazily slumped out of bed and got dressed. He reached into a drawer for his belt. His belt held six identical red and white spheres with stickers on them. One sticker was a lightning bolt, the next a raindrop, then a flame, a musical note, the letter G, and a flower. Each sphere, or pokeball, held a different creature called a Pokemon. The boy’s name was Kyle. Kyle walked down the stairs and headed for the living room.

“Mom, I’m going to the park with Krissy and Mike!” he called.
“Okay, just don’t get lost, don’t talk to strangers…” she ranted on about all of the things to keep her son safe. Kyle escaped through the back door and headed for the park.

“Hey Kyle!” yelled a girl with pink hair. Her hair was in a ponytail and she had her bangs dyed red. She had green eyes and red goggles around her neck. By now, it is obvious that this girl is Krissy. Krissy was wearing a pink jacket and old shorts. She had a backpack that had six pokeballs on the strap.

Next to Krissy was Mike who had dark brown hair and blue eyes. Mike was wearing a belt with six pokeballs and wore a black shirt with red sleeves and plaid shorts. He approached Mike and began to talk with him.

“You know why we all met here right?” he asked.
“Of course I do! I’m also practicing to be more like the champion. They say he’s only thirteen, just like us! Now let’s battle!” said Kyle excitedly.

With Krissy as the referee, Mike began by tossing a ball with a boulder sticker on it. A large snake-like creature popped out. It had a metallic body and there were spikes sticking out of its segments. The Pokemon had large crushing teeth with metal fangs in the back of its hard jaw.

“Steeeeeeeeeeelix!!!!” the creature exclaimed.

Kyle tossed up his lucky thunder bolt sticker pokeball and a lion-like Pokemon came out. It had black fur around its head and feet. The rest of its body was covered in blue fur. Its eyes were a deep yellow that seemed almost hypnotic.

“Luxray, use Iron Tail!” Kyle commanded.

“Steelix, dodge and use Dragonbreath!” Mike said.

Luxray’s tail glowed as it leaped at Steelix. It caught Steelix on the top of its head as a blue-green flame burst from Steelix’s mouth. The flames caught Luxray in mid jump and it fell to the ground. Just as Kyle was about to say another command a huge dark cloud blocked the sun. Darkness seemed to burst over the park and bordering forest. As this happened, shadows spread all over Vermillion City and the rest of Kanto. Little did one person know, they would be both the question and the answer to this darkness that had just begun…


A peek at next time in Chapter 2: Horrors of the Night….

“Here we go!” shouted Kyle.

Luxray and Vileplume leaped at the shadows while Krissy’s Murkrow and Mike’s Steelix used their projections to make the incoming shadows retreat.

“This ends now!” yelled a masked figure that appeared from the forest. He threw a small black orb that exploded into a net. The net crackled with dark purple electricity as it fell over the challengers’ Pokemon.

 

[mysteriousfossil]

Chapter 2:
Horrors of the Night

The wicked darkness
Blackness
Evil is present
Blackness
No one to hear a scream
Your scream
Blackness
Fight for the way out
And become our hero​

“What is going on?” asked Krissy who was just as surprised as everyone else.

“You think that I would know?” snapped Mike.

“Geez,” stuttered Krissy, “You don’t have to freak out like that.”

“Hey guys,” said Kyle worriedly, “Maybe we should stop fighting each other and start fighting off the…”

Kyle wasn’t able to finish his sentence as the shadows on the ground seemed to reach towards their Pokemon. Krissy immediately went to work by sending out a small black bird that looked mischievous called Murkrow. Murkrow’s Shadow Ball held off the seemingly alive shadows as Steelix and Luxray helped the other children at the park escape.

“This is so not as I planned…” murmured a voice from the shadowed forest.

“Who’s there?” yelled Kyle menacingly.

“Only me.” said the voice as a masked figure stepped out of the forest and onto the field. He was wearing a long black cape and had purple hair coming out from behind the mask. His mask hid his face and was divided into two halves, one with a sun and one with a moon.

“Who are you?” replied Kyle.

“I am Shade, an accomplice of the Shadow Union.” replied Shade.

“Well then are you behind these shadows?” asked Kyle.

“Maybe…”

“Well then here’s someone to play with!” Kyle held up a pokeball and a stubby blue creature with a giant red flower on its head. This Pokemon was called Vileplume. Just as Vileplume emerged, Shade disappeared into the shadows. The shadows advanced again and Kyle, Mike, and Krissy sent their Pokemon to work on defending the park.

“Here we go!” shouted Kyle.

Luxray and Vileplume leaped at the shadows while Krissy’s Murkrow and Mike’s Steelix used their projections to make the incoming shadows retreat.

“This ends now!” yelled Shade that appeared again from the forest. He threw a small black orb that exploded into a net. The net crackled with dark purple electricity as it fell over the challengers’ Pokemon.

“No!” cried Krissy as Shade walked away with the net. The trainers attempted to follow so Shade sent out a Pokemon to scare them away. It was a large black bird that resembled Krissy’s Murkrow only bigger.

“It’s a Honchkrow!” exclaimed Kyle.

Honchkrow shot a bright beam at the trainers that exploded and sent them flying. Shade recalled Honchkrow and walked away with his new possessions. As Shade went deeper into the forest he recalled the first time he had seen his master.

He had been going to pick something up from his uncle’s house which was through the woods. Dark clouds covered the moon and it was pitch black. At the time he had three Pokemon, Wartortle who was a blue turtle with a white tail that resembled a wave. Next was Kirlia, a smaller Pokemon that resembled a girl with a green body and a white dress with red crests protruding from her head. Finally, there was Vespiquen. She resembled a large bee with a big honeycomb in the place of legs. On her forehead was a red gem that often glowed when danger approached.

Shade’s real name was Brian, which he had long forgotten. Brian sent out his Vespiquen to lead the way through the forest. He could see his uncle’s house in the distance when the gem on Vespiquen’s head began to glow. A vicious gust if wind knocked her into a tree and Brian fell down. The darkness seemed to become blacker as Brian struggled to stand back up. He recalled Vespiquen and ran for the path.

He began walking on the path, then running. A shadow seemed to fly over him on invisible wings, chilling every bone in his body. Brian broke out into a sprint and tripped again. He screamed as the shadow closed in on him. He looked up and suddenly felt comforted as he saw the face of his loved ones. The shadow shifted again and evaporated. Then Brian heard a voice in his head telling him to follow the shadow and that was the last time Brian saw the world in his own way.

A peek at next time in Chapter 3: Flashbacks…

“Typhlosion, Fire Blast!” commanded Brendan.

“With that shot Brendan wins!” yelled the announcer.

Lily walked away, disappointed in herself for losing again. She knew now that she would be forced to take the offer given to her in the forest many years ago.

 

[Manchee]

Okay, I see you decided to post this. Well, to be honest: it's an okay-ish Fic. You've got an idea down, but you really need to start showing your Plot. I know it's realyl early in the Fic, but hints of what it's really about should be written. A plot of a normal Fic usually becomes obvious by Chapters 10 & 11. If it's not generally revealed by then, the Fic will most likely be unsuccessful.

A lonely child stepped onto the frosty path in the dark. His breath created clouds in the air as he paced along. The sounds of the night called to him but he did not answer. All was dark, all was peaceful. Yet to the child, something was wrong. Now he realized that he was not safe. His breaths sped up and his heart beat fast. As his pace continued to grow, he broke out into a run, then a sprint. The night closed in on the path, eating away at it like a hungry beast. He desperately tried to reach the lights but they were so far off. Finally, the night closed in and his scream echoed, scaring away all animals nearby.

This part was excellent. Great foreshadowing. Although it needs more descrption. We need to know more about the scenery.

The boy’s name was Kyle. Kyle walked down the stairs and headed for the living room.

NOOOOO!!!!!! Never just go plain and say: "This is Colton" or "This is Mudkip." Describe what they look like enough so that people can automatically know who or what you're talkin about.

“Hey Kyle!” yelled a girl with pink hair. Her hair was in a ponytail and she had her bangs dyed red. She had green eyes and red goggles around her neck. By now, it is obvious that this girl is Krissy. Krissy was wearing a pink jacket and old shorts. She had a backpack that had six pokeballs on the strap.

No, it's not obvious. Itcould be Nurse Joy, or some random girl trying to steal Kyle. He should've greeted her after you described her. Your description was dry. It is there, but not enough is there. And everything should blend together better. Dont say: "Her hair is pink. She is tall. She was wearing a sky blue shirt and a short denim skirt." It should be: "Her long magenta colored hair was swept into a high ponytail on her head, releaving her of the summers heat. Her sky blue shirt and short denim-blue skirt revealed much of her elegant body, much to Kyle's liking." Something like that.

All in all, you need work. But that's normal for a bginning Fan Fic writer. Check out some other Fics and look at the Advice For Aspiring Writers thread.

Good Luck ^_^

 

[mysteriousfossil]

Okay thanks! I wasn't sure if i was doing the right thing or not because im new to the whole fanfic thing... I'll look at them and try harder with my descriptions. Also, were my chapters too short?

 

[mysteriousfossil]

Chapter 3:
Flashbacks

Time passes
Memories fade
Some do
Some stay
The darkness stays
As well as grows
The only ones who can save us
The heroes​

A child sits on her front porch. Long blond hair curls around her knees as she curls up for warmth in the night. Her eyes shimmer in the cold moonlight,giving of signals of fear. As the darkness grows the night gets colder. The child’s pale skin is left open to the cold. She waits in the darkness, huddled in the moonlight. Only one noise is heard in the still scenery. An owl’s call cuts through the night and the girl is suddenly awake and aware of her surroundings.

The moonlight shines more on the dark forest in front of her house. A large tree, surrounded by smaller withering trees is revealed. Leaves rustle in the chilling night breeze. Then she knew. All at once the world seemed to come at the girl. She stood up and ran. Not into her house but into the forest. As she ran along her heart danced with fear. But fear of what? Now she went back into her normal self, unaware and scared. She had run from something, something dangerous. Now, as she looked on into the darkness of the forest path she realized she had run to the danger, not away.

Sleepiness overcame the girl and she fell to the ground. A new presence approached this kind, fragile girl. Her arms and legs spread out on the path. Wonderful dreams danced in her head, and the other being read them like a book. It entered her dreams and made them nightmares. Nightmares of cold darkness, being dragged away, then a sense of belonging. She woke up and looked around, startled by a noise around her. The girl looked up into the eyes of her watcher, and screamed.

Eight years later…..

A girl at the age of fourteen entered the stadium. Long blond hair held her shoulders. Her eyes were flickering with excitement and danger. She was not one to mess with. A crowd cheered around her, but not at her for as these cheers strengthened her opponent approached.

He was tall with a challenging look on his face. Seemingly silver hair covered his small head. The only reason for the intense cheers was because he was only thirteen and the champion of Hoenn, about to become the champion of Sinnoh. Or so the crowd thought. This girl was out to prove them wrong.

“Trainers,” the referee began, “Send out your first Pokemon!” With that command the battle began.

“Hey Lily, hope you’re ready!” taunted the boy.

“As ready as I’ll ever be, Brendan you silver headed meanie!” sneered Lily.

“No need to hate me!” said Brendan, almost innocent.

Lily threw a pokeball high into the air and a large blue dinosaur fell onto the stadium floor. It had a large tail and muscled arms. Its legs looked very sturdy and its tail spiked. Brendan sent out a blue creature that had a body like a dog and a pointy lion-like mane. Static electricity crackled around it and it charged at Lily’s Pokemon.

“Nidoqueeeeeeeen!” the dinosaur yelled as it braced for the other Pokemon’s impact.

“Manetric!” cried the charging Pokemon. Manetric rammed into Nidoqueen, trying to overwhelm it with its static charge. The shock merely bounced off of Nidoqueen’s tough blue skin. Nidoqueen stomped down on the ground and sent out a shockwave that cracked the earth beneath Manetric’s small feet, trapping it. Next, Nidoqueen went in for the final blow as Lily commanded it to jump up and land on Manetric.

Fierce battles ensued, pitting dragons and snakes against each other as well as shape shifting blobs and tree-backed turtles. The final showdown was between a butterfly like Pokemon and a large furry and flaming Pokemon. Lily’s Pokemon flapped its wings and a strong silvery gust knocked the other Pokemon down.

“Typhlosion!” exclaimed Brendan.

“Hah!” declared Lily, “This battle is all mine!”

“Yeah but you forgot that Fire overpowers Bug!” said Brendan. “Typhlosion, Fire Blast!” commanded Brendan.

The butterfly Pokemon was shot into a wall and wilted to the ground.

“Beautifly, no!” yelled Lily.

“With that shot Brendan wins!” yelled the announcer.

Lily walked away, disappointed in herself for losing again. She knew now that she would be forced to take the offer given to her in the forest many years ago. As she exited the stadium she was forced to remember all those years ago when she was just a little girl and she was approached by the shadows. Later that night she sat in the Pokemon Center, pondering her next move. She decided to leave that night and wandered out to the forest, never to be seen again for some amount of years.

Present time…

“Boss, I am sorry,” said a masked woman, “I wasn’t able to locate those pesky kids’ location.”

“Well then find them.” a gravelly voice said.

“I will go and try.”

She exited the room and removed her black and white mask revealing a head of long golden hair that moved like waves. The next room over was the control room, where the woman went to the scanner to look for her partner. He appeared as a purple dot on a map and seemed to be moving quickly through a dense forest.

That forest.

The forest where it happened.

This can’t be happening. I must leave immediately.

With that last thought the woman snuck out the door and took off for the forest. On her way she picked up six old items of hers. They were six pokeballs, caked in dust and rust. She put her mask back on and left. She hopped into a large Jeep and took off on the dark dirt road.

As she approached the forest chills were sent up her spine. She suddenly remembered all those years ago when she first met her boss. She made a deal and when she lost to one trainer in a championship her deal became renewed. Now she was like a thief, a shadowed thief. Her partner was the enigmatic Shade who had a similar experience with her boss.

Meanwhile…

Shade could tell when he was being followed. When he was being stalked by the enemy, he knew it. But this was no enemy. The breathing reminded him of a soft summer breeze, the footsteps of a gentle Pokemon. She approached from the side.

“Hey Lily, what are you doing here?” asked Shade as he walked up to his partner.

“I’m here for my destiny.” she replied coldly.

“Say what?”

Back at the control center…

I don’t trust her.

Not at all.

She is going to discover her destiny and stop my plans. My plans of a new world. A new world for all!

A peek at next time in Chapter 4: Enigma Palace…

“We finally meet.” said Shade

“Yes we do.” said an unpleasant voice.

“So let’s get this over with.”

“Yeah why are shadows covering the region?”

“Well, it is for a greater cause,” Shade said, “And that cause is for a new world of Pokemon or should I say Shadow Pokemon!”


I hope this helps reveal a little but not too much and also gives some good info about Lily. The trainer's teams so far will find a home in the first post and a new chapter title will be given.