So I've already maxed my Tyrantrum's affection this morning, and he does not swallow the cupcakes whole like I'd hoped. He likes being rubbed on the crest on his head, which is much easier to deal with than his belly. Now, I've started bonding with the final member of my team left to bond with, my Aegislash. It turns out, she can indeed eat Poké Puffs without a mouth, you just have to hold the cake over the space between her eye and the top of her shield. She likes being rubbed low on her shield, which I don't find weird at all, since she's a haunted sword and shield with no, *cough* lady parts, in that area of her body. Anyway, I got her to two hearts before giving my 3DS a rest to recharge.
Before bonding with Tyrantrum, however, I modified some of my team members' movesets. I taught Venusaur Substitute over Energy Ball, and Aegislash Swords Dance over Iron Head. My IVs, EVs and Natures might not be competition-ready, but at least my movesets are. That's been a rule I've followed since Gen 3, and I'll keep following it until the day that either Pokémon dies, or I do.