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Yes (Contest Shipping, PG-13, One-Shot)

Discussion in 'Shipping Fics' started by TurtwigFan1, Oct 8, 2008.

  1. TurtwigFan1

    TurtwigFan1 burning it down

    Hey all, just a quick one-shot story here, but if a lot of people like it, or I get the time, I may make it into a series. So here it is, the One-Shot or Prologue that is Yes. Also, '*****' means a time jump. '***' means a scene change.

    Yes

    5 years after leaving Ash and travelling alone, May returned to Johto again. At 15, she had still not won a Grand Festival, but came 2nd in the Kanto Festival, with Solidad beating her again. But anyway, we join May in Goldenrod City...

    “We’re here in the final round of the Goldenrod City Pokémon Contest,” said Dorian, announcer of the Johto contests, “On my left is Drew Carter and on my right is May Maple! You have five minutes on the clock. BEGIN!”

    “Roserade, you’re up!” shouted Drew. Roserade came out of its Poké Ball with a flurry of pink petals.

    “Munchlax, take the stage!” said May. Munchlax came out of his Poké Ball with a confetti seal, decorating his entrance.

    “Roserade, Magical Leaf!” ordered Drew. A shower of rainbow coloured leaves appeared from Roserade’s bouquets.

    ”Munchlax, SolarBeam!” ordered May. A light yellow-white beam appeared in Munchlax’s mouth.

    Both the Pokémon shot their attacks hitting the opposing attack with great beauty and power. However, Roserade was showered by rainbow sparkles, meaning May lost about 15 percent of her points, and Drew lost about 2 percent of his.

    ***** ​

    “10 Seconds left!” shouted Dorian.

    SolarBeam and Magical Leaf collided for the second time this match. A cloud of white smoke appeared. A loud DING was heard and the battle was over.

    “That was well fought on both sides, but who has won?” asked Dorian.

    The smoke cleared and the board was revealed. Over the course of the five-minute match, Drew had lost 60 percent of his points, but May had lost nearly 80 percent of hers. The board flashed up with a picture of Drew and Roserade, and the dark yellow ribbon he had won.

    “Congratulations to Drew!” said Dorian.

    Drew smiled and hugged Roserade. May sighed but told Munchlax ‘no need to worry’, a phrase she’d picked up from her meetings with Dawn in Sinnoh. May and Drew shook hands and Drew left to stand on the pedestal.

    All of the co-ordinators who had participated in the contest clapped for Drew as he received the beautiful Goldenrod Ribbon.

    “Tune in next time folks, when we will be in the gorgeous Pecugrove Town!” announced Dorian, finishing the contest. Drew stepped off the pedestal and followed May to the Pokémon Centre.

    ***​

    “Tough match out there huh?” said Drew, comforting May.

    “Yeah, Munchlax was good.” May replied, sad about losing.

    “May, there’s no point in feeling down, you’ll win the next one!” Drew said, trying to pump confidence into May.

    “No I wont, I’ll lose again, just like I did the past 3 times!” cried May.

    “Oh May,” sighed Drew, putting his arm around May.

    “Drew,” said May dreamily, putting her head on Drew’s shoulder.

    The couple stayed like this for a while, sitting silently, without a care in the world, until May’s PokéGear rang.

    “Aren’t you going to get that?” asked Drew, moving slightly away from May.

    May picked up her PokéGear off the couch and ended the call.

    “I’ll call them back, but not before we do something…” May said flirtatiously.

    Drew smiled and held May’s waist. May put her arms around Drew’s neck. They embraced, feeling the warmth from each other. They then pulled their heads away and dived in for a kiss. Drew’s lips met May’s and for the first time, they kissed. They hugged tight, never wanting to let go. They opened their mouths their tongues exploring every area of each others mouth, occasionally touching. Drew removed May's small, short-sleeved jacket, throwing it onto the couch. They kept on kissing, never breaking contact. Drew started to make a drastic move.

    However, May’s PokéGear rang again, ruining the couple’s perfect moment. They pulled away from each other and Drew took off his jacket.

    “I gotta take this.” May said, very annoyed and very sad.

    May left Drew sitting on the couch watching the television. May answered her PokéGear.

    “WHAT?” asked May angrily.

    “Hey, what’s wrong? I only called to congratulate you on your performance in the contest!” said the shocked voice of May’s 12-year old brother Max, currently on his travels in the Kanto region.

    “Oh, sorry Max, but can we make this quick, I have stuff I have to do. But thanks for calling!” said May, with a hint of nervousness in her voice.

    ”Well done in the contest May, you’ll win the next one! Bye!” said Max, hanging up. May pressed the ‘End Call’ button and put the PokéGear back in her bag.

    May was about to go back to Drew, when the Pokémon Centre door opened. In came May’s new Johto contest rival and friend, Sasha.

    “Hey May! I saw you on TV, shame about you losing!” said Sasha.

    “Oh, hey there Sassy,” replied May, itching to get back to Drew.

    Sasha could see that May was blushing and also saw her hair was slightly messy. Sasha knew that May like Drew, but she never knew that Drew like May.

    “Off-topic here, have you been kissing Drew?” asked Sasha.

    “How did you know?” asked May, jumping slightly.

    “You look like you have!” said Sasha, laughing and pointing to May’s cheeks and hair.

    May went even redder and started trying to explain herself.

    “No need to explain yourself to me, hun! But, can you tell me one thing? Are you in love with Drew?” Sasha asked. May nodded.

    “Yes I am,” May said, “Yes.”

    El fin.

    I hope you all enjoyed this fic! Any criticisms are welcome and if you want me to make this into a series, just tell me in your post!

    TurtwigFan1 - ;387;
     
  2. Stabberz

    Stabberz The RPG Godfather

    Wow That Was .......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
    Different um but good at the same time it was a bit rushed but on the whole good
     
  3. DanChimchar

    DanChimchar Friends are Diamonds

    It was good. It did seem Fimilar somehow lol
    Battle seemed quick.
    As a May Fic wirter My self and a Drew and May Shipping I must say it was pretty good
    8.5/10
     
  4. Stabberz

    Stabberz The RPG Godfather

    I Think That Shouldn't keep have it a along series if you do do one
     
  5. TurtwigFan1

    TurtwigFan1 burning it down

    It was supposed to be rushed, for me that is how I wanted it to feel. I wanted it to feel that lots of things were happening to May, one after the other with no breaks.

    However, thank you for the criticism, I can see why this story would make you feel that way!

    Lastly, I think I will make it into a series! It will be slower and not as rushed!
     
  6. Torpoleon

    Torpoleon Pokémon Sun!

    This was.... good. Try to put some more description and don't rush.
     
  7. harryheart

    harryheart Well-Known Member

    Read it and am amazed, I havn't really got into much of this shipping bizz but from reading this I see what it is all about! Well done!

    There are a few spelling mistakes which don't need mentioning but just to point that out to you for future chapters.

    Now, onto the plot line, I like how it starts off with the battle, a good way to introduce a story. The whole Drew and MAy business is also interesting, something I have heard of before but never read. With the new girl Sasha, that part seemed a little rushed so I may edit that bit a little if I were you! 8/10

    Spelling and grammar is also very good, I couldn't see any grammar mistakes but they may be there. So with this category I would give it a 7/10

    Vocab is also very interesting using a range of exciting words so a 4/5

    Overall its a 19/25

    SUPERB
     
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2008
  8. TurtwigFan1

    TurtwigFan1 burning it down

    Thanks! A full review would be nice, as I am making this into a series, starting at the beginning of May's second Johto journey!
     
  9. harryheart

    harryheart Well-Known Member

    Well I am looking forward to it, and if it is anything like your Moonshine explorers then it will be a great read
     

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