Lately, I've been trying to figure out my own religious beliefs, and it's only been confusing me. Maybe typing it out will ease some stress?
I was raised a Catholic Christian (and technically still am; my mom makes me go to church every week even though I told her I can't stand the Catholic Church), but I honestly can't stand the religion. The only good thing that came out of it was my confirmation name that I can use instead of my dreadful middle name. (Joseph or Cornelius, which is better? Cornelius, obviously. Patron Saint of Cows for the win.) I just don't like the way they're so "spread the word, convert, convert!" and whilst they preach equality they're really not that great. And all they really care about is money, I can't stand the church. And I'm supposed to sit there and let them tell me that I'm an abomination because I'm not straight? Shove that shit up someone else's ass.
But when I think of death, I automatically think of heaven, but with angels, (and the puffy clouds, etc. You know, like the Philadelphia Cream Cheese commercials), and with one God watching over the Heavens, pretty much like Christian beliefs. But I don't actually believe any of the other nonsense (just... i dunno. when science backs up stuff like the big bang, it makes adam and eve (adam and steve) pretty unconvincing), and it irritates me when the church told me that "God created the two great lights in the sky; the sun, and the moon". Um, the moon doesn't produce its own light. Not to mention that Christianity and Greek Mythology has some of the same "stories", and could of been slightly based off of it.
I'm really interested in the Shintoist Faith, and I'd really like to learn more about that. It's more simplistic; there's a spirit for everything, let's not anger those spirits. I know that it's much more complicated than that, but I like the message a lot more. Of course there are multiple Gods (which always made more sense to me), and it just seems to be a better idea, and lots of Shintoists also practice Buddhism funerals, which I also like the idea of. But as much as I like the idea of it, I'm not sure if I can go out and say I actually believe in it.
However, I do feel that there is a greater being out there that created everything, and that there are multiple gods and such, but as humans we're not really supposed to know exactly what he or she is until we die, when all is revealed. Religions were only created to explain things that science couldn't, after all. So you can't really believe that each story man has created was one hundred percent true. I believe the idea of Shintoism, but the exact stories that Shinto has scrounged up may not exactly be the truth. But there definitely is some type of being out there that created the world, and lesser deities under the supreme creator that control everyday life, just nobody knows what they are yet.
As for the meaning of life, I believe that life is just life. We're here, we're alive, so let's have fun and live it up. Whatever that creator has planned for us is what we're destined to do, and we can't change the destiny, but nobody exactly knows what they're destined to do in the first place, so whatever happens, just happens. Once die, all will be revealed. You can't really define what the meaning of life is, because you could ask how the gods were created, or why there's a god in the first place who created this world, what exactly is this world, and why is there life on it? I guess I just think too much about why the universe just can't be total "nothingness" with no life on it whatsoever, or, no universe whatsoever and there not even be a world in the first place. So I guess I don't actually have a meaning of life.
lol seriously; to perpetuate the species.