Absolution (T)

[Megahound]

Absolution (PG)

ABSOLUTION

Introduction:

There was once, in the Pokemon World, two packs of Pokemon.

The Blackfang and the Whitefang pack.

In the peaceful Pokemon World, these packs were even created because all the other Pokemon hated Absol. They thought that Absol brought disasters. Therefore, the Pokemon decided that all the Absol would be banished to the outlands, a place faraway from Pokemon.

Because of this, Absols hated every other creature, they sought vengeance, they killed but not all Absols sought vengeance. Some wanted to make the other Pokemon understand that they did not cause disasters. So, the good Absols came to be known as the Whitefang pack and the vengeful and hating Absols came to be known as the Blackfang pack.

Chapter 1: Prologue

Sol is an Absol from the Whitefang pack, like his brother Loz, like Whitefang pack Absols, they wanted to make other Pokemon understand that Absols did not cause disasters.

Because there are less Whitefang Absols than Blackfang Absols, the Whitefang Absols did not stick together as a pack. They lived alone trying to find the way to reach other Pokemon.

"Sol! Wake up! Wake up!" A voice reached Sol's head.

"SOL! WAKE UP! YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING FOR 16 HOURS!"

Sol jumped upright. "Whoah! Who's there?" Sol asked to himself, still half-sleep.

"I'm your brother Loz! You idiot!" said Loz.

"Oh. Hey Loz." said Sol.

"Hey? Go grab the bag and start searching for berries! You have had enough sleep!" said Loz.

"Oh, okay." said Sol, grabbing the bag and walking towards the forest.

"Oh and don't go near the grasslands. You don't wanna get in trouble with the Blackfangs." said Loz.

Sol didn't hear what his brother had said as he already had gone far while his brother was talking.

"Man, this is boring, searching berries, eating berries, searching berries. When are we ever gonna find a way?" said Sol to himself.

"We're never gonna find a way if we continue this. I'm gonna go to the grasslands, perhaps there is a way there." said Sol to himself.

Sol continued walking and collecting berries, putting those in his bag until he reached the grasslands. Sol wasn't afraid of anything, not even the Blackfangs.

He dropped his bag and started searching for paths that could lead them to other Pokemon. He went deep, searching and searching.

SUDDENLY! He could feel something moving around him. Something walking straight towards him. The grass was rustling. There wasn't one, there was two, no three, four, no more. There were many of them. Sol was surrounded!


This is my first fan fiction. I need lots of suggestions. Thanks.

 

[Megahound]

Chapter 2: The Blackfangs

Sol was surrounded! But he wasn't scared.

"Who's there?" he asked.

There was no reply but a faint growling.

"Grrrr...." The growling came from all directions.

Sol was ready to attack but he could feel that he was heavily outnumbered.

SUDDENLY! More than 10 Pokemon jumped right on Sol.

Sol got scratched and slashed. He was steadily fainting.

Somehow he opened his eyes and looked at the attackers. They were Blackfangs!

He was continuously getting attacked when a loud voice boomed through the area.

"STOP!" It said.

The Blackfangs stopped attacking and looked at the Pokemon who had come. It was Loz.

Sol had fainted. Seeing this, Loz went near the Blackfangs.

"You are gonna pay for what you've done to my brother!" said Loz and angrily used Hyper Beam.

He OHKOed 3 Blackfangs, but the others attacked Loz while he was sitting ducks, recharging.

The Blackfangs defeated Loz and he fainted.

"Let's kill 'em." said one Blackfang.

"No, wait." said the Alpha Blackfang. "They've learned their lesson. Let's leave them for now."

"Okay, sir but next time I'll kill 'em." said the first Blackfang.

"Yes, next time you will." said the Alpha Blackfang and they left.


Done chapter 2. Chapter 3 will be tomorrow. Suggestions needed.

 

[Dormant]

So, a new writer has come, ye? Well, I got to say. The fic looks promising, but there are some problems with it(Just like... well pretty much any stories or media contents has some problems...)

First of all, I want to say hi. And second, I'm going to make suggestions and point out some flaws so don't be disheartened!

"Man, this is boring, searching berries, eating berries, searching berries. When are we ever gonna find a way?" said Sol to himself.

"We're never gonna find a way if we continue this. I'm gonna go to the grasslands, perhaps there is a way there." said Sol to himself.

Here's the first problem. The two dialogues should be said in just a single one, as it makes it redundant.

SUDDENLY! He could feel something moving around him. Something walking straight towards him. The grass was rustling. There wasn't one, there was two, no three, four, no more. There were many of them. Sol was surrounded!

Uhm... That was... quick. I think you need to build up the ambush scene more since it just came out of nowhere...

Anyways the second chapter neeeeeeeeeeeeeeds to be longer, a chapter must be two pages long(In Microsoft Words) and don't just say 'SUDDENLY!', it can come across as a Narm(A situation that is suppose to be serious ends up being unintentionally funny). And the fic in general looks very rushed, yes the grammar is quite okay. But you need to flesh out the scenes more.

I hope this review will help!

 

[Megahound]

So, a new writer has come, ye? Well, I got to say. The fic looks promising, but there are some problems with it(Just like... well pretty much any stories or media contents has some problems...)

First of all, I want to say hi. And second, I'm going to make suggestions and point out some flaws so don't be disheartened!



Here's the first problem. The two dialogues should be said in just a single one, as it makes it redundant.



Uhm... That was... quick. I think you need to build up the ambush scene more since it just came out of nowhere...

Anyways the second chapter neeeeeeeeeeeeeeds to be longer, a chapter must be two pages long(In Microsoft Words) and don't just say 'SUDDENLY!', it can come across as a Narm(A situation that is suppose to be serious ends up being unintentionally funny). And the fic in general looks very rushed, yes the grammar is quite okay. But you need to flesh out the scenes more.

I hope this review will help!

Thanks. I will keep that in mind.

 

[Megahound]

Chapter 3: New Encounter

After some time Sol woke up.

"Argh! This pain is unbearable." said Sol to himself.

He looked around and saw Loz unconscious on the ground. He was more injured than Sol. Sol picked up Loz on his back, with all the power left in him and headed to the clearing where they lived.

When they reached the clearing, Sol put Loz down gently. He began to think about the battle. "I couldn't even attack one Blackfang. I am so weak....." thought Sol to himself and fell asleep.

Hours passed by, and Sol woke up. He saw that Loz was awake beside him.

Loz was still laying down and was in deep thought.

Sol was energetic but he still had some wounds while Loz had broken his two feet.

Sol had to do something. He began to think. Then he remembered a place, where wounds would heal quickly. The Lake of Healing.
The Lake would heal any Pokemon which took a dip in it.

"It is said that Suicune walked over that lake. I am sure it will heal you." said Sol to Loz.

"Hmmm." said Loz weakly.

"It is east from the grasslands, away from the Blackfangs. We will be able to get there without trouble." said Sol.

Loz didn't say anything but he looked agreed.

Sol supported Loz to stand up and they started walking.

They had reached the grasslands but this time they did not come across any Blackfangs. They quickly continued east and they rested a bit under a tree. They continued towards the east. They walked till they could walk no more. They lied down and fell asleep quickly. After they had a good rest, they woke up and for the first time in their lives, they saw Pokemon which were not Absol. They were very happy. Sol shouted in happiness. Loz wanted to jump in happiness but his injuries prevented him. They saw Pokemon like Pidgey and Rattata.

Sol laid down Loz and went to talk to the Pokemon.

"What brings you here?" asked Sol to the Pokemon.

"Oh, we go where the wind takes us, and the wind brought us here this time." said one Pidgey.

"And we go where the Pidgey go, we want to fly like them and one day we will." said one Rattata.

"Nice to meet you guys! I believe you have been here for some time now, can you tell us where the Lake of Healing is?" said Sol.

"Lake of Healing? It's right behind those trees." said one Pidgey.

"Thank you." said Sol to the Pidgey and picked up Loz.

Sol was happy to see different Pokemon and he was also happy because they did not hate Absol.


Done chapter 3. Chapter 4 will be up by tomorrow.

And if you like this fan fiction, then you can put one of these in your signature:







Credit to Astral Shadow for these.

 

[Megahound]

Chapter 4: A New Journey

Sol then went behind those trees and saw the giant lake. It was beautiful and shining.

"Oh it's so beautiful. I am sure it will heal you Loz." said Sol and dropped Loz into the water. Sol then splashed in the water.

He felt very good. He could feel his wounds healing and when he came out he felt very energetic but there was no sign of Loz. Had he drowned? Sol went to check out then suddenly water splashed onto his face and he jumped back. Even more water splashed onto him when Loz jumped right out of the water.

"Hahahahahaha! I feel great!" shouted Loz.

"You're back bro!" said Sol.

"You bet I am!" said Loz.

"You get healed real quick. No wonder Suicune had walked over this lake." said Sol.

"Yep I believe it. What are we gonna do now?" said Loz.

"You saw those Pidgey and Rattata back there? We are gonna ask them where the nearest town is. Then visit the town and tell them." said Sol.

"Let's go then!" said Loz.

Sol and Loz went to the Pidgey and Rattata and asked them where the nearest town would be.

"The nearest town is past the forest and behind those mountains." replied one Pidgey.

"Okay thank you very much." said Sol.

"The town is quite far. It's gonna be a long journey." said Sol to Loz.

"I don't care how long it will take. I wanna go there." said Loz.

"Okay." said Sol.

Sol and Loz then started their journey. They went deeper into the forest and walked for days until they saw the mountain. They went near the mountain and rested, then they continued again and climbed the mountain. They walked over the mountain for even more days until they could see the town. They quickly climbed down the mountain and ran towards the town. It looked like a small crowded town. They could hear the cries of different Pokemon, some talking. They were very excited.

They entered the town and saw many Pokemon, many houses and they were also very happy because no one showed any sign of hatred towards them. They went towards a shop where a Kangaskhan was sitting.

"Welcome to Kangaskhan and Co! How may I help you?" said the Kangaskhan.

"Hello there, we would like some food and water please." said Loz.

"Okay. Your Pokedollars." said Kangaskhan.

"Take these. These are all I have." said Loz handing out the all the Pokedollars he had then.

Kangaskhan filled a bag with some berries and bottles of water and handed it over to Loz. Loz held it.

"What is the name of this town?" asked Sol.

"Oh, this town is called Little Town." replied the Kangaskhan.