Mewtwo’s Apprentice is a reality show fan fiction that I wrote back in early 2007, at the end of what we’d call Generation III, just before Diamond & Pearl were released. I’m posting it here now because I’d say it’s one of the best productions I’ve ever done, so some other Poke’mon fans can see it.
Before I start, let me clear up a few of the inside jokes found in it for you guys:
Joseph: A high school student from Texas who secretly produced this show.
Kaitlyn: One of Joseph’s girlfriends from school at the time
Poke’mon Gundam Wing: A Poke’mon RPG I programmed myself with Gundam robots as bosses
Jack: One of the robots from the Poke’mon Gundam Wing game
RE League: An online Flash Poke’mon RPG at Realitysend.com
Kero Kato: The leader of the RE League
Also, this show is based on the idea that Mewtwo created the Generation I and II legendary Poke’mon as clones just like himself and plots to destroy Ash and take over the Poke’mon Planet entirely. He could’ve used Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres to help him defeat Mew in Poke’mon the First Movie, but for some reason, he wasn’t yet willing to give the three legendary birds another chance.
I think that’s about it. If there are any other inside jokes that I can clear up for you guys, let me know.
Okay, on with the story!
Mewtwo's Apprentice - Chapter 1
From Cerulean Cave’s throne room...
Mewtwo: I am Mewtwo, King of the Poke’mon. As you know by now, I have failed miserably over the years in trying to train Poke’mon, defeat Ash, and take over the Poke’mon Planet. Some people blame it on my stupidity, others say it's because Ash is too powerful. Actually, the real problem is that I've never had a partner in crime smart, powerful, and deceptive enough to be able to figure out a way to beat Ash. My legendary Poke’mon are too stupid, and Mew? The name says it all. In recent years, I've gotten desperate enough to join forces with Ash and play sports with him, but I've finally figured out a strategy to defeat Ash. I've joined forces with Joseph. No, he's not my apprentice, but he says that if I entice 12 characters from across the last 10 years or so to attempt to become my apprentice by offering a large salary, I will find the character who will be able to do what I have not been able to do, which is train Poke’mon, defeat Ash for good, and take over the Poke’mon Planet for good. For some reason he has all sorts of cameras all over the place, and I don't know-
Joseph: Cut! Cut! You idiot! This is a reality show! You don't give away the fact that I'm doing this as a way to make money by getting high Poke’mon Planet TV ratings! Now continue with the explanation, and don't say anything about me running the show! I'm supposed to be retired, you know!
Raikou: Your retirement didn't last a month! What happened to Kaitlyn?
Joseph: Hey, no talk about Kaitlyn, and you're not supposed to be here yet! Get out of here! Now, action!
Mewtwo: Anyway, there will be 12 characters competing as two teams in challenges that prove their cunning and sly abilities, as well as their power and smarts. The team that does better in whatever challenge I choose will receive some useless reward that is probably more of a punishment than anything else, while the team that loses the challenge must visit me in this throne room. There a few of the members will be chosen by the changing-by-episode team leader to have a different private meeting in the throne room, where I will throw one of them into the dungeon for a year, the one I feel messed up the worst. However, they do not know about their potential trip to the dungeon yet, as I will just say "You're fired" and send the loser with Raikou away from the rest, who will lead the loser to their inglorious fate. I get giddy just thinking about it. Eventually, the two teams will be combined, and the players will start competing individually, until we get down to only two players, where I will hire the best remaining one, and "fire" the remaining one to the dungeon. Ooh, fun! Now, to meet our competitors, each from a different game, movie, or whatever the case may be.
Poke’mon Anime: Team Rocket’s Meowth
Poke’mon Red/Blue: Lance
Poke’mon Gold/Silver: Chuck
RE League: Kero Kato
Poke’mon Snap: Todd
Poke’mon Gundam Wing: Jack
Poke’mon Movie 2000: Lawrence III
Poke’mon Ruby/Sapphire: Steven
Poke’mon Colosseum: Miror B
Poke’mon Trozei: General Buzz
Lucario and the Mystery of Mew: Lucario
Poke’mon *beep*: Phoebe…what was that beep?
Joseph: Cut! Never ask me questions in the middle of taping, you idiot! Besides, you know perfectly well why I put that beep in there!
Mewtwo: All I said was Poke’mon *beep*!
Joseph: Exactly. The name of that comic book series will not be mentioned here, as I'm trying to erase it from my memory.
Mewtwo: So am I. It contradicts the plot of the TV show and games.
Joseph: That's what they tell me. Now get back to reading the list!
Mewtwo: That IS the list!
Joseph: Oh... right. Well, anyway, finish telling people about the competition. Action!
Mewtwo: These 12 players will start competition shortly, on the following teams:
A-Team
-Meowth
-Kero Kato
-Lance
-Todd
-Chuck
-Jack
B-Team
-Lawrence III
-Steven
-Lucario
-Miror B
-General Buzz
-Phoebe
Mewtwo: These idiots will be judged by my smart, brilliant, always-thinking assistants Raikou and Articuno, who will be my eyes and ears. I of course will have the final say in "firing" whoever I want, since it's my show and I'm arrogant and it's all about me anyway, but unlike that other reality show with a similar name, I'll actually "fire" the one who deserves to be "fired" according to his or her performance, not the one who gets on my nerves five seconds before I make my decision. Each episode's competition will usually be over the course of each Saturday, though there may be some exceptions, depending on what the competition is. The players should be here within a few minutes, so let's take a short commercial break and then get to the competition!
As a Poke’mon Colosseum commercial is on the air, Joseph starts to chew out Mewtwo.
Joseph: I'm paying you a lot of Pokedollars to do this for me, and I'm going to get you an apprentice that will get you a lot more than just Pokedollars, but you don't have the nerve to act reasonable on the air and use your brains! Don't give away to the fans that you're over-arrogant, and don't go insulting the other show that gave me the idea for this one!
Mewtwo: I can't help it! This is the way I am! Besides, you basically do the same thing when you're the host!
Joseph: Uh... uh... yeah, I guess you're right. Yeah... just keep doing what you're doing, then. Anyway, just make sure that you don't give away any surprises to the players when they arrive here shortly.
After a Poke’mon Mystery Dungeon commercial, Poke’mon Diamond/Pearl commercial, and Poke’mon Ranger commercial, Joseph starts to get worried, as the players have not yet arrived and the currently-airing Poke’mon Pinball Ruby/Sapphire commercial is the final one of the commercial break.
Joseph: Where are they? They're supposed to come out of those warps over there.
Raikou: Oops.
Joseph: Oh no.
Raikou: I think I turned off the warps to the cave.
Joseph: Why?
Raikou: Ash was chasing me, trying to capture me.
Joseph: So let me guess. You turned off all the warps to the cave, and now those players are repeatedly stepping onto them, trying to use them, but they can't, thanks to your stupidity.
Raikou: It's not my fault!
Joseph: It never is. Go turn them on!
As Raikou goes to turn them on, the commercial break is just about to end.
Joseph: Quick, get another commercial on!
Cameraman: We don't have any others!
Joseph: Mewtwo, can you improvise?
Mewtwo: But I-
Joseph: You're getting paid one billion Pokedollars for this!
Mewtwo: Oh, all right!
As the last commercial ends, the camera goes to Mewtwo, who starts dancing around, looking like a complete idiot.
Raikou: They're here!
The players walk in, seeing Mewtwo dancing like an idiot, and start laughing at him.
Lucario: I thought this was going to be hard!
Meowth: This will be a cinch!
Todd: I thought this Mewtwo character was a powerful guy... he's a pushover!
Mewtwo: That's it! You're all fired!
Jack: Already?
Mewtwo sees Joseph making desperate motions off-camera.
Mewtwo: No... uh... I was only joking, of course! You 12 characters are here with hopes of becoming my apprentice, but it's not going to be easy. You're going to have to impress me with your smarts, skills, stamina, and strength. You've already been notified of your teams, so stand with your teammates.
The two teams line up accordingly.
Mewtwo: Okay, the first challenge will be one of the simplest. Over the course of the next 12 hours, you will simply try to bring to me more Pokedollars than your opposition, with the A-Team working in Blackthorn City, and the B-Team working in Celadon City. If that means stealing from poor, helpless villagers, fine. If that means starting your own temporary business, go right ahead. Whatever you need to do to bring Pokedollars to me, do it, but any of you caught keeping Pokedollars for yourselves will not only be fired automatically but also lose all the Pokedollars that you were trying to keep, as the cameras will catch you, and Raikou will beat you up for them. The winning team receives a reward I will describe later, while the losing team will have to send a few members to a special meeting, where I will fire one of those players. Now, this episode's team leaders will be... for the A-Team, Kero Kato, and for the B-Team, Lucario! Keep in mind, if you are the team leader and your team wins, you will be immune from going to the special meeting the following episode. Does this make sense?
Lucario: Mostly. But can you steal from your opponents' Pokedollars?
Mewtwo: I should have mentioned that. You cannot do that. If so, then the other team could do all the work but have all their Pokedollars stolen by you, which would be unfair. And you may not leave the city that you are sent to. Practically anything else goes, though, and I expect some really interesting ideas out of your teams. Raikou will keep an eye on the A-Team, while Articuno will watch the B-Team, getting all sorts of information that will help me criticize you guys when you come back here. Now get going! What are you waiting for?
The two teams exit out different warps, with the A-Team and Raikou going to Blackthorn City, while the B-Team and Articuno go to Celadon City.
A-Team
Kero Kato: I have a killer idea that will win for sure.
Lance: Oh no. We've lost now.
Kero Kato: Hey, you're going to have to listen to me, as I'm the team leader!
Lance: This is my home!
Kero Kato: Too bad! We're doing it my way!
Lance: Fine, but it will be your fault if we lose!
Kero Kato: We won't lose, so that won't be a problem! Anyway, one of the biggest moneymaking businesses is a Game Corner, and I think that's what we should make.
Meowth: With what money?
Todd: And with what materials?
Kero Kato: We go to that house and kick out the people who live there, then turn it into a Game Corner. Some of us will work there, others will promote it.
Chuck: But we don't have any Game Corner games or anything like that! You're just thinking we can create a Game Corner out of a house! We're just going to create a mess!
Jack: Fi-re Ker-o Ka-to! Fi-re Ker-o Ka-to!
Kero Kato: Wait, wait, wait! Before you give up on me, let's first go call up Moltres and see how he could help us. I guarantee this will work!
B-Team
Phoebe: So, what brilliant ideas do you have for us?
Lucario: Well, I figure that we're so tough, we can just bully around these men and women here in Celadon City and force them to give us their Pokedollars!
General Buzz: What a great idea!
Miror B rushes off to threaten some ladies. The completely frightened women give him all of their Pokedollars.
Lucario: See, it's working great already!
Miror B: 700 Pokedollars?
Lawrence III: There's a better way.
Steven: Why are you doubting Lucario? This is the way to go! Hey, guy, give me all of your Pokedollars or I'll flatten you!
Guy: Here!
The guy tosses Steven a bag of Pokedollars.
Steven: Perfect! See? Never doubt Lu...cario! You ARE an idiot! There are only 300 Pokedollars in this bag!
Lucario: Oh, do you actually think the other team is going to come up with more than 1000 Pokedollars?
A-Team
Moltres: Here are 1,000,000 Pokedollars for you!
Kero Kato: Thanks!
Lance: Wait, this can't be right!
Kero Kato: I told you it would work!
Lance: You must have cheated!
Kero Kato: So what? I told Moltres I needed a donation for the Anti-Articuno Fund. He was generous.
Meowth: So, are we using these Pokedollars to build this Game Corner, or just keeping them?
Kero Kato: Of course we're using these to help us fund our Game Corner!
Lance: No, no, no.
Jack: There's no way this will ever work!
Raikou: That's for sure!
Kero Kato: Get out of here, Raikou!
Raikou: Hey, I have to watch you guys for my master's sake.
Kero Kato: Well, don't bother us!
Raikou: I bet that there's no way your Game Corner will make a single Pokedollar.
Kero Kato: How much?
Raikou: How about 1,000,000 Pokedollars?
Kero Kato: It's a deal!
Lance is shaking his head furiously, while the other team members stare in disbelief.
Kero Kato: Now we just need to find some people willing to work for us.
Meowth: I'm not!
Kero Kato: That's okay. I'll find some.
Todd: You go look yourself. We'll be finding real ways of getting Pokedollars ourselves.
Kero Kato: Fine!
B-Team
Lawrence III is searching for Poke’dollars under rocks (none there), Steven is using a metal detector to find and dig out Pokedollar coins (but only finds soda cans and other junk metal), and Phoebe is begging people for Pokedollars (but they just ignore her).
Lucario: Come on, there's a better way than this!
Miror B: What is that way?
Lucario: I don't know what it is, but there has to be one!
General Buzz: Is Erika’s Gym considered part of Celadon City?
Lucario: Articuno?
Articuno: Well...
Lucario: Yes!
General Buzz: All right! Let's go there. Erika has to have tons of Pokedollars stored there!
Articuno: I never said it was part of Celadon City.
Miror B: We know what that "well" meant, Articuno. Stop resisting us and admit the truth!
Articuno: Okay, so it is! This is unfortunate. I didn't want Erika to have a new reason to be mad at me... arrrgh.
A-Team
Lance and Meowth are sitting on the ground, tired out. Jack is walking over to them with a pile of Pokedollars.
Jack: Here are 1500 Pokedollars!
Meowth: Oh, it's no use. Maybe that Kero Kato is right. We're not going to get enough Pokedollars just by randomly searching for Pokedollars. I think we should go find him and help him out.
Lance: Why? He's going to waste those 1,000,000 Pokedollars, and if we help him out, we'll look as bad as he will. Let's instead just find Pokedollars in our own way, and let him waste those Pokedollars himself and get fired.
(Meowth looks at Lance)
Lance: Oh, all right, all right, we'll go find Kero Kato! But if you get fired, don't blame me!
But only a minute after Kero Kato's team members go looking for him, Kero Kato comes marching to his team with a giant gang of girls.
Kero Kato: Look who I found!
Lance: What?!
Kero Kato: These girls have agreed to work for us for one Pokedollar each.
Meowth: Only one Pokedollar each?!
Kero Kato: I told them they'll be getting a lot more after we get the Pokedollars back from Mewtwo.
Todd: But I thought-
Jack: Shh!
Kero Kato: Anyway, they will help us clear out the house, and some of them will even build Game Corner games and provide electricity. Meanwhile, I will oversee their building while you five go out advertising.
Lance: You mean four. I will not advertise for your failure of a Game Corner.
Kero Kato: Failure? What failure?
Lance: There's no way this will work!
Kero Kato: You say that just because I'm from Reality’s End!
Lance: That's right!
Kero Kato: So I say you're wrong just because you're from Kanto! Now those who are sensible will help me out, because I have thousands of Pokedollars. How many do you have, Lance?
Lance: Well, I-
Kero Kato: How many, Lance?
Lance: Okay, okay, I'll advertise! Working for a Reality’s End character... I'll never live this down!
B-Team
Lucario and his group arrive at Erika's Gym. Lucario starts knocking on the door.
General Buzz: Okay, since when did it become a good idea to just knock on the door of the place that you're about to rob?
Erika opens the door.
Erika: Come in!
Lawrence III: Since now.
The B-Team and Articuno follow Erika into the Gym.
Erika: So, what do you want?
Phoebe: Oh, just 1,000,000,000- ow!
(Miror B kicks Phoebe)
Lucario: Could we all have some tea?
Erika: Sure! I'll be right back!
Erika hurries off, while the six players and Articuno stand amazed.
Miror B: Thanks to my brilliance, we still have an opportunity to make our robbery!
General Buzz: Is Erika really this stupid?
Steven: She's never been known for her smarts.
Lawrence III: So, how are we going to go about this?
Lucario: Simple. General Buzz and I will go off hunting through the Gym for where all the Pokedollars have to be stored, while you four distract Erika.
Miror B: By force or by acting stupid?
General Buzz: By acting stupid, of course!
Erika comes out with tea for the characters, who walk over to a table. Lucario and General Buzz have gone off down a hallway looking for Pokedollars, but of course they went down the wrong one.
General Buzz: Maybe we should have just asked Erika for the Pokedollars.
Lucario: Are you sure?
General Buzz: She let us in, didn't she?
Lucario: Yeah... that actually might not be that bad of an idea.
The two of them go back to meet the rest.
Erika: So, where were you?
General Buzz: Uh...
Erika: Oh, it doesn't matter! Have some tea!
Lucario: (whispering) She is dumb!
General Buzz: Say, could we borrow 1,000,000,000 Pokedollars?
Erika: Borrow? You can have it! I'll go get some of my trainers to give it to you!
Erika walks away again. The six members are laughing, while Articuno looks sick.
Steven: Wow! This is too easy!
Phoebe: You should have just let me ask in the first place, Miror B!
Miror B: I was not aware of Erika's extreme shortcomings in the brains department.
Lawrence III: Why are you so gloomy, Articuno?
Articuno: This is way too easy for you guys. It's unfair!
Lucario: Hey, that's the way it goes!
Erika comes out with Ash and Pikachu.
General Buzz: Uh oh.
Ash: Articuno's got to be the ringleader! Get him, Pikachu! Thunderbolt attack!
Pikachu shocks the confused Articuno and Ash leads him off to a dungeon jail. Meanwhile, Pikachu continues to send electricity towards the others.
Lucario: Get out of here!
The six team members rush for the door. Lucario opens the door, and all six team members run outside.
BOOM!
Steven: What the-?
Ash: Thanks, May!
May: No problem!
Lucario: The front mat’s been taken out, so now we're way down here! Anyone think they can climb out of here?
No one says anything.
Lucario: We're stuck.
Ash: You guys are the stupid ones! Erika figured you were plotting something evil from the start, and she told us back when she got you tea! We planned this out, and it couldn't have turned out better! Now your leader Articuno is jailed, and we're calling up Mewtwo to tell him it's your fault his first legendary Poke’mon is locked up! Enjoy explaining this to him!
Ash runs off.
Steven: We're fired. One of us is, at least.
A-Team
Unaware of the fate of their rivals, the A-Team is still trying as hard as they possibly can- and are continuing to succeed.
Lance: I've got a somewhat new opinion on Kero Kato.
Todd: What's that?
Lance: He's still a loser who talks too much, but he certainly knows what he's doing today.
The five team members besides Kero Kato are advertising for their Game Corner, and they already have a line of characters waiting outside the in-progress Game Corner just waiting to get in. Even Raikou is in line.
Raikou: Kero Kato won his bet, so I've got to go win my Pokedollars back!
A few hours later, the girls have made the Game Corner usable inside the house, and all sorts of characters are rushing inside, including Raikou.
Raikou: Here are your 1,000,000 Pokedollars, Kero Kato.
Kero Kato: Ha! I told you it would work!
Raikou: At least I won't have to explain to Mewtwo that you did a bad job, because you did a great job... Now where's the roulette wheel?
Kero Kato: Over there!
Kero Kato's Game Corner is raking in the big money, and the A-Team continues to promote the Game Corner, which is getting tons of customers.
Meowth: Are you sure this is working out as well as it seems?
Jack: It doesn't seem possible, but I guess it is.
Chuck: I'm glad we didn't fire Kero Kato... yet, that is.
The Game Corner is making millions of Pokedollars, getting close to a billion Pokedollars. Blackthorn City residents obviously are obsessed with gambling, because they are wasting tons of Pokedollars at the Game Corner.
Lance: (whispering) Hey, have any of you wondered what would happen if these people started hitting the jackpot on the slot machines like crazy?
Todd: (whispering) Kero Kato rigged all the slot machines, and card flip machines, and practically every game in the Game Corner. These characters are too stupid to realize that they can't win... especially Raikou.
Lance: (whispering) I'm more like Kero Kato than I thought.
B-Team
Steven: Do you think there's a chance Ash was joking about calling up Mewtwo?
Miror B: There has to be at least a one percent chance that he was joking.
Lawrence III: Come on, guys, there's no way Ash could actually just go call Mewtwo. They're archrivals!
Lucario: Lawrence III's right. Ash can't and won't call Mewtwo.
Mewtwo: Idiots!
Lucario: I stand corrected.
Mewtwo: Get out of there and start explaining!
Phoebe: We can't get out, but we can start explaining.
Mewtwo: Wait... you can explain once you get back to my cave. How many Pokedollars do you have anyway?
General Buzz: One thousand.
Mewtwo: Well, that will be a down payment on Articuno's bail... you'll have to go 999,000 Pokedollars in debt to get him out of jail, or else all of you get automatically fired.
Lucario: Okay, we'll pay.
Mewtwo (on his cell phone): Okay, Ash, you can let the losers out now!
Ash gives the team members a ladder that they climb to get out of the pit. The bruised and embarrassed team members hand Ash their one thousand Pokedollars, and Ash frees Articuno.
Mewtwo: Believe it or not, it's been just about 12 hours since this started, so you have to come to my cave. I'll call up Raikou and get his crew back to my cave too.
Mewtwo's Cave (an hour or so later)...
Mewtwo: Both teams are now here, and let's find out how many Pokedollars each has. Articuno, what's the total for the B-Team?
Articuno: It's below zero.
Mewtwo: How much below zero?
Articuno: 999,000 below.
Mewtwo: You found a way to go into debt! How do you think you could run any part of my army, or do anything against Ash, if your goal is to make Pokedollars but you lose them instead? In fact, you lost Pokedollars you didn't even have! What's the matter, Lucario?
Lucario: You already know this!
Mewtwo: So what? I want to know the answer to these questions!
Lucario: Look, we stunk it up. That's all there is to it.
Mewtwo: Great explanation. How about this other group, the A-Team, Raikou?
Raikou: Well, they sort of made 1,867,539,000 Pokedollars.
Mewtwo: Over a billion?!
Raikou: That's right.
Mewtwo: Kero Kato appears to be a true leader!
Lance: Hey, I was behind him the whole way!
Mewtwo: Sure, whatever. But I'm impressed with Kero Kato and his team. You're immune from firing if you get forced to a special meeting, Kero Kato.
Kero Kato: Thank you.
Mewtwo: And your team can go enjoy its big reward... you each get signed autographs of my picture! These have got to be worth lots of Pokedollars!
Todd: Oh, brother. What about the Pokedollars we earned?
Mewtwo: They go to me, of course. I have to pay off this stupid debt that these losers put me in. Now go away!
The A-Team grab their signed autographed pictures with disgust and jump into a warp.
Mewtwo: Now the real fun begins! First, let's go meet in the room I have prepared for you... heh, heh, heh...
Phoebe: Why do I have a bad feeling about this?
Mewtwo's Meeting Room
Mewtwo is seated in a throne, with Raikou and Articuno in cool-looking seats. The others are in their own pitiful seats, seated around a table, looking worried, except for Miror B, who appears to be plotting some way of destroying Mewtwo.
Mewtwo: So let's talk about what went wrong, which is pretty much everything. First, what was the original idea, Lucario?
Lucario: I figured that if we just picked up a few hundred Pokedollars from some innocent bystanders, we'd beat the other team, who'd probably stink it up.
Mewtwo: Well, they didn't! In fact, they got almost two billion Pokedollars! Speaking of which, why were you counting on your opponents doing poorly? Why not just do well yourself?
Lucario: Because I felt we were doing good enough.
Mewtwo: 1000 Pokedollars is good enough?! Do you think I'd train my Poke’mon on 1000 Pokedollars, and say, "Oh, Ash won't spend more than 999 Pokedollars on his Pokemon"?
Lucario: Well, uh-
Mewtwo: You don't know what you're doing! You're the worst leader ever!
Lucario: Do you think any of these other losers would have done better?
Mewtwo: I don't know. What were your ideas, General Buzz?
General Buzz: They were- uh, they- well, I thought of- I was going to- uh-
Mewtwo: You're no help. What about Miror B?
Miror B: Must... destroy-
Mewtwo: You're useless. Steven?
Steven: I'm loyal. I stood behind Lucario's reasoning.
Mewtwo: Good for you! You see an idiot doing poorly, and you fully agree with him! Who's more foolish, the fool, or the fool that follows him?
Steven: Hey, that line is from Star-
Mewtwo: I know it's from Star Wars! What's your answer?
Steven: Uh-
Mewtwo: You don't have one! How about you, Lawrence III?
Lawrence III: It's not my fault! I didn't do anything!
Mewtwo: That's what you did! And as for you, Phoebe?
Phoebe: I had the idea of just asking Erika for the one billion Pokedollars in the first place!
Mewtwo: First of all, that plan worked well, didn't it? You ended up losing Pokedollars you didn't have! Second of all, why only one billion? That wasn't even enough!
Phoebe: Well, how was I supposed to know?
Mewtwo: You idiots! If you want to become my apprentice and earn a one billion Pokedollar salary, you have to actually think big! You can't just think, "my opponent is going to stink it up"! You can't just think, "the easy way is to just ask Erika for Pokedollars"! You can't just think-
Lucario: Okay, we get the point! We're morons!
Mewtwo: Who would you fire if you had the choice, Lucario?
Lucario: You!
Mewtwo: You're walking on eggshells, buddy! Tell me someone from your team!
Lucario: Okay, I'd fire Miror B.
Mewtwo: Why?
Lucario: Hey, Joseph doesn't like him that much! Maybe he will get him fired!
Mewtwo: Good thinking... not! Miror B, who to fire?
Miror B: Lucario, because he wants to fire me!
Mewtwo: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Lawrence III, because he didn't do anything.
Mewtwo: Steven?
Steven: Phoebe, as she didn't think big.
Mewtwo: General Buzz?
General Buzz: Steven, as he agreed with Lucario.
Mewtwo: Lawrence III?
Lawrence III: General Buzz, because he agreed with Lucario too!
Mewtwo: Well, that's great. You guys don't know who's to blame, so you just blame the first character to come to mind. So now Lucario will pick two of you to stay here with him, where one of the three here will be fired! Lucario, who will it be?
Lucario: Miror B and Phoebe.
Mewtwo: Lucario, Miror B, and Phoebe will stay here, while the other three of you may go, as you are safe- for now! Heh, heh, heh!
The other three walk out of the room and jump into a warp.
Mewtwo: Articuno, what's your opinion on these three losers?
Articuno: Lucario is a blind leader leading the blind. Miror B is out in space somewhere. Phoebe is just plain stupid. None of them deserve to be your apprentice.
Mewtwo: I unfortunately can't fire all three at once, but one will be fired. Lucario, give your argument as to why you should stay.
Lucario: I was given no help, and if any of these were in my position, they would have stunk it up just as badly.
Mewtwo: Good point, but as leader, you should still show yourself to be the best of the bunch. How did Kero Kato do, Raikou?
Raikou: Kero Kato was hated by his teammates, but he proved them wrong, and he got them working for him. He made nearly two billion Pokedollars, and he won a bet with me.
Mewtwo: I banned you from betting!
Raikou: Oops.
Mewtwo: That will cost you 999,000 Pokedollars, to pay off this team's debt.
Raikou: Well, I kind of- don't have any-
Mewtwo: What?!
Lucario: (thinking) This is my way out! I just have to find a way to use this in my favor! (speaking) Hey, don't trust anything Raikou says! He says that Kero Kato was a great leader, but don't trust what he's saying, because he made a bet! So I'm really not that bad after all!
Mewtwo: Wrong, you idiot! If Kero Kato was brilliant enough to get this loser to make a bet despite all the threats I made to him if he bet again after Poke’mon Madness 2's betting fiasco, he's got to be one of the most excellent leaders of the contestants here! You obviously aren't!
Lucario: Aren't you going to ask these other two why they shouldn't be fired?
Mewtwo: Why should I? I was never going to fire anyone but you. Guess what? You're fired!
Lucario sits in silence as the other two players leave the room and jump into the same warp their teammates entered.
Mewtwo: Raikou will lead you to your dungeon cell.
Lucario: Dungeon cell?!
Mewtwo: Hey, if you're this bad, I don't want you going around messing things up for me, like the way you did this time! You won't be much of a threat to me in the dungeon! Goodbye, Lucario!
Raikou leads Lucario to his dungeon cell.
Mewtwo: What a loser that Lucario is.
Articuno: Yeah, he really put up a pitiful performance this episode.
Mewtwo: Fortunately, he's out of here, and maybe his teammates will step it up next episode. Until then, this is Mewtwo saying goodbye for Raikou and Articuno! Remember, Beautiful Monsters love Big Macs! So long until next episode!
END OF CHAPTER 1
Before I start, let me clear up a few of the inside jokes found in it for you guys:
Joseph: A high school student from Texas who secretly produced this show.
Kaitlyn: One of Joseph’s girlfriends from school at the time
Poke’mon Gundam Wing: A Poke’mon RPG I programmed myself with Gundam robots as bosses
Jack: One of the robots from the Poke’mon Gundam Wing game
RE League: An online Flash Poke’mon RPG at Realitysend.com
Kero Kato: The leader of the RE League
Also, this show is based on the idea that Mewtwo created the Generation I and II legendary Poke’mon as clones just like himself and plots to destroy Ash and take over the Poke’mon Planet entirely. He could’ve used Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres to help him defeat Mew in Poke’mon the First Movie, but for some reason, he wasn’t yet willing to give the three legendary birds another chance.
I think that’s about it. If there are any other inside jokes that I can clear up for you guys, let me know.
Okay, on with the story!
Mewtwo's Apprentice - Chapter 1
From Cerulean Cave’s throne room...
Mewtwo: I am Mewtwo, King of the Poke’mon. As you know by now, I have failed miserably over the years in trying to train Poke’mon, defeat Ash, and take over the Poke’mon Planet. Some people blame it on my stupidity, others say it's because Ash is too powerful. Actually, the real problem is that I've never had a partner in crime smart, powerful, and deceptive enough to be able to figure out a way to beat Ash. My legendary Poke’mon are too stupid, and Mew? The name says it all. In recent years, I've gotten desperate enough to join forces with Ash and play sports with him, but I've finally figured out a strategy to defeat Ash. I've joined forces with Joseph. No, he's not my apprentice, but he says that if I entice 12 characters from across the last 10 years or so to attempt to become my apprentice by offering a large salary, I will find the character who will be able to do what I have not been able to do, which is train Poke’mon, defeat Ash for good, and take over the Poke’mon Planet for good. For some reason he has all sorts of cameras all over the place, and I don't know-
Joseph: Cut! Cut! You idiot! This is a reality show! You don't give away the fact that I'm doing this as a way to make money by getting high Poke’mon Planet TV ratings! Now continue with the explanation, and don't say anything about me running the show! I'm supposed to be retired, you know!
Raikou: Your retirement didn't last a month! What happened to Kaitlyn?
Joseph: Hey, no talk about Kaitlyn, and you're not supposed to be here yet! Get out of here! Now, action!
Mewtwo: Anyway, there will be 12 characters competing as two teams in challenges that prove their cunning and sly abilities, as well as their power and smarts. The team that does better in whatever challenge I choose will receive some useless reward that is probably more of a punishment than anything else, while the team that loses the challenge must visit me in this throne room. There a few of the members will be chosen by the changing-by-episode team leader to have a different private meeting in the throne room, where I will throw one of them into the dungeon for a year, the one I feel messed up the worst. However, they do not know about their potential trip to the dungeon yet, as I will just say "You're fired" and send the loser with Raikou away from the rest, who will lead the loser to their inglorious fate. I get giddy just thinking about it. Eventually, the two teams will be combined, and the players will start competing individually, until we get down to only two players, where I will hire the best remaining one, and "fire" the remaining one to the dungeon. Ooh, fun! Now, to meet our competitors, each from a different game, movie, or whatever the case may be.
Poke’mon Anime: Team Rocket’s Meowth
Poke’mon Red/Blue: Lance
Poke’mon Gold/Silver: Chuck
RE League: Kero Kato
Poke’mon Snap: Todd
Poke’mon Gundam Wing: Jack
Poke’mon Movie 2000: Lawrence III
Poke’mon Ruby/Sapphire: Steven
Poke’mon Colosseum: Miror B
Poke’mon Trozei: General Buzz
Lucario and the Mystery of Mew: Lucario
Poke’mon *beep*: Phoebe…what was that beep?
Joseph: Cut! Never ask me questions in the middle of taping, you idiot! Besides, you know perfectly well why I put that beep in there!
Mewtwo: All I said was Poke’mon *beep*!
Joseph: Exactly. The name of that comic book series will not be mentioned here, as I'm trying to erase it from my memory.
Mewtwo: So am I. It contradicts the plot of the TV show and games.
Joseph: That's what they tell me. Now get back to reading the list!
Mewtwo: That IS the list!
Joseph: Oh... right. Well, anyway, finish telling people about the competition. Action!
Mewtwo: These 12 players will start competition shortly, on the following teams:
A-Team
-Meowth
-Kero Kato
-Lance
-Todd
-Chuck
-Jack
B-Team
-Lawrence III
-Steven
-Lucario
-Miror B
-General Buzz
-Phoebe
Mewtwo: These idiots will be judged by my smart, brilliant, always-thinking assistants Raikou and Articuno, who will be my eyes and ears. I of course will have the final say in "firing" whoever I want, since it's my show and I'm arrogant and it's all about me anyway, but unlike that other reality show with a similar name, I'll actually "fire" the one who deserves to be "fired" according to his or her performance, not the one who gets on my nerves five seconds before I make my decision. Each episode's competition will usually be over the course of each Saturday, though there may be some exceptions, depending on what the competition is. The players should be here within a few minutes, so let's take a short commercial break and then get to the competition!
As a Poke’mon Colosseum commercial is on the air, Joseph starts to chew out Mewtwo.
Joseph: I'm paying you a lot of Pokedollars to do this for me, and I'm going to get you an apprentice that will get you a lot more than just Pokedollars, but you don't have the nerve to act reasonable on the air and use your brains! Don't give away to the fans that you're over-arrogant, and don't go insulting the other show that gave me the idea for this one!
Mewtwo: I can't help it! This is the way I am! Besides, you basically do the same thing when you're the host!
Joseph: Uh... uh... yeah, I guess you're right. Yeah... just keep doing what you're doing, then. Anyway, just make sure that you don't give away any surprises to the players when they arrive here shortly.
After a Poke’mon Mystery Dungeon commercial, Poke’mon Diamond/Pearl commercial, and Poke’mon Ranger commercial, Joseph starts to get worried, as the players have not yet arrived and the currently-airing Poke’mon Pinball Ruby/Sapphire commercial is the final one of the commercial break.
Joseph: Where are they? They're supposed to come out of those warps over there.
Raikou: Oops.
Joseph: Oh no.
Raikou: I think I turned off the warps to the cave.
Joseph: Why?
Raikou: Ash was chasing me, trying to capture me.
Joseph: So let me guess. You turned off all the warps to the cave, and now those players are repeatedly stepping onto them, trying to use them, but they can't, thanks to your stupidity.
Raikou: It's not my fault!
Joseph: It never is. Go turn them on!
As Raikou goes to turn them on, the commercial break is just about to end.
Joseph: Quick, get another commercial on!
Cameraman: We don't have any others!
Joseph: Mewtwo, can you improvise?
Mewtwo: But I-
Joseph: You're getting paid one billion Pokedollars for this!
Mewtwo: Oh, all right!
As the last commercial ends, the camera goes to Mewtwo, who starts dancing around, looking like a complete idiot.
Raikou: They're here!
The players walk in, seeing Mewtwo dancing like an idiot, and start laughing at him.
Lucario: I thought this was going to be hard!
Meowth: This will be a cinch!
Todd: I thought this Mewtwo character was a powerful guy... he's a pushover!
Mewtwo: That's it! You're all fired!
Jack: Already?
Mewtwo sees Joseph making desperate motions off-camera.
Mewtwo: No... uh... I was only joking, of course! You 12 characters are here with hopes of becoming my apprentice, but it's not going to be easy. You're going to have to impress me with your smarts, skills, stamina, and strength. You've already been notified of your teams, so stand with your teammates.
The two teams line up accordingly.
Mewtwo: Okay, the first challenge will be one of the simplest. Over the course of the next 12 hours, you will simply try to bring to me more Pokedollars than your opposition, with the A-Team working in Blackthorn City, and the B-Team working in Celadon City. If that means stealing from poor, helpless villagers, fine. If that means starting your own temporary business, go right ahead. Whatever you need to do to bring Pokedollars to me, do it, but any of you caught keeping Pokedollars for yourselves will not only be fired automatically but also lose all the Pokedollars that you were trying to keep, as the cameras will catch you, and Raikou will beat you up for them. The winning team receives a reward I will describe later, while the losing team will have to send a few members to a special meeting, where I will fire one of those players. Now, this episode's team leaders will be... for the A-Team, Kero Kato, and for the B-Team, Lucario! Keep in mind, if you are the team leader and your team wins, you will be immune from going to the special meeting the following episode. Does this make sense?
Lucario: Mostly. But can you steal from your opponents' Pokedollars?
Mewtwo: I should have mentioned that. You cannot do that. If so, then the other team could do all the work but have all their Pokedollars stolen by you, which would be unfair. And you may not leave the city that you are sent to. Practically anything else goes, though, and I expect some really interesting ideas out of your teams. Raikou will keep an eye on the A-Team, while Articuno will watch the B-Team, getting all sorts of information that will help me criticize you guys when you come back here. Now get going! What are you waiting for?
The two teams exit out different warps, with the A-Team and Raikou going to Blackthorn City, while the B-Team and Articuno go to Celadon City.
A-Team
Kero Kato: I have a killer idea that will win for sure.
Lance: Oh no. We've lost now.
Kero Kato: Hey, you're going to have to listen to me, as I'm the team leader!
Lance: This is my home!
Kero Kato: Too bad! We're doing it my way!
Lance: Fine, but it will be your fault if we lose!
Kero Kato: We won't lose, so that won't be a problem! Anyway, one of the biggest moneymaking businesses is a Game Corner, and I think that's what we should make.
Meowth: With what money?
Todd: And with what materials?
Kero Kato: We go to that house and kick out the people who live there, then turn it into a Game Corner. Some of us will work there, others will promote it.
Chuck: But we don't have any Game Corner games or anything like that! You're just thinking we can create a Game Corner out of a house! We're just going to create a mess!
Jack: Fi-re Ker-o Ka-to! Fi-re Ker-o Ka-to!
Kero Kato: Wait, wait, wait! Before you give up on me, let's first go call up Moltres and see how he could help us. I guarantee this will work!
B-Team
Phoebe: So, what brilliant ideas do you have for us?
Lucario: Well, I figure that we're so tough, we can just bully around these men and women here in Celadon City and force them to give us their Pokedollars!
General Buzz: What a great idea!
Miror B rushes off to threaten some ladies. The completely frightened women give him all of their Pokedollars.
Lucario: See, it's working great already!
Miror B: 700 Pokedollars?
Lawrence III: There's a better way.
Steven: Why are you doubting Lucario? This is the way to go! Hey, guy, give me all of your Pokedollars or I'll flatten you!
Guy: Here!
The guy tosses Steven a bag of Pokedollars.
Steven: Perfect! See? Never doubt Lu...cario! You ARE an idiot! There are only 300 Pokedollars in this bag!
Lucario: Oh, do you actually think the other team is going to come up with more than 1000 Pokedollars?
A-Team
Moltres: Here are 1,000,000 Pokedollars for you!
Kero Kato: Thanks!
Lance: Wait, this can't be right!
Kero Kato: I told you it would work!
Lance: You must have cheated!
Kero Kato: So what? I told Moltres I needed a donation for the Anti-Articuno Fund. He was generous.
Meowth: So, are we using these Pokedollars to build this Game Corner, or just keeping them?
Kero Kato: Of course we're using these to help us fund our Game Corner!
Lance: No, no, no.
Jack: There's no way this will ever work!
Raikou: That's for sure!
Kero Kato: Get out of here, Raikou!
Raikou: Hey, I have to watch you guys for my master's sake.
Kero Kato: Well, don't bother us!
Raikou: I bet that there's no way your Game Corner will make a single Pokedollar.
Kero Kato: How much?
Raikou: How about 1,000,000 Pokedollars?
Kero Kato: It's a deal!
Lance is shaking his head furiously, while the other team members stare in disbelief.
Kero Kato: Now we just need to find some people willing to work for us.
Meowth: I'm not!
Kero Kato: That's okay. I'll find some.
Todd: You go look yourself. We'll be finding real ways of getting Pokedollars ourselves.
Kero Kato: Fine!
B-Team
Lawrence III is searching for Poke’dollars under rocks (none there), Steven is using a metal detector to find and dig out Pokedollar coins (but only finds soda cans and other junk metal), and Phoebe is begging people for Pokedollars (but they just ignore her).
Lucario: Come on, there's a better way than this!
Miror B: What is that way?
Lucario: I don't know what it is, but there has to be one!
General Buzz: Is Erika’s Gym considered part of Celadon City?
Lucario: Articuno?
Articuno: Well...
Lucario: Yes!
General Buzz: All right! Let's go there. Erika has to have tons of Pokedollars stored there!
Articuno: I never said it was part of Celadon City.
Miror B: We know what that "well" meant, Articuno. Stop resisting us and admit the truth!
Articuno: Okay, so it is! This is unfortunate. I didn't want Erika to have a new reason to be mad at me... arrrgh.
A-Team
Lance and Meowth are sitting on the ground, tired out. Jack is walking over to them with a pile of Pokedollars.
Jack: Here are 1500 Pokedollars!
Meowth: Oh, it's no use. Maybe that Kero Kato is right. We're not going to get enough Pokedollars just by randomly searching for Pokedollars. I think we should go find him and help him out.
Lance: Why? He's going to waste those 1,000,000 Pokedollars, and if we help him out, we'll look as bad as he will. Let's instead just find Pokedollars in our own way, and let him waste those Pokedollars himself and get fired.
(Meowth looks at Lance)
Lance: Oh, all right, all right, we'll go find Kero Kato! But if you get fired, don't blame me!
But only a minute after Kero Kato's team members go looking for him, Kero Kato comes marching to his team with a giant gang of girls.
Kero Kato: Look who I found!
Lance: What?!
Kero Kato: These girls have agreed to work for us for one Pokedollar each.
Meowth: Only one Pokedollar each?!
Kero Kato: I told them they'll be getting a lot more after we get the Pokedollars back from Mewtwo.
Todd: But I thought-
Jack: Shh!
Kero Kato: Anyway, they will help us clear out the house, and some of them will even build Game Corner games and provide electricity. Meanwhile, I will oversee their building while you five go out advertising.
Lance: You mean four. I will not advertise for your failure of a Game Corner.
Kero Kato: Failure? What failure?
Lance: There's no way this will work!
Kero Kato: You say that just because I'm from Reality’s End!
Lance: That's right!
Kero Kato: So I say you're wrong just because you're from Kanto! Now those who are sensible will help me out, because I have thousands of Pokedollars. How many do you have, Lance?
Lance: Well, I-
Kero Kato: How many, Lance?
Lance: Okay, okay, I'll advertise! Working for a Reality’s End character... I'll never live this down!
B-Team
Lucario and his group arrive at Erika's Gym. Lucario starts knocking on the door.
General Buzz: Okay, since when did it become a good idea to just knock on the door of the place that you're about to rob?
Erika opens the door.
Erika: Come in!
Lawrence III: Since now.
The B-Team and Articuno follow Erika into the Gym.
Erika: So, what do you want?
Phoebe: Oh, just 1,000,000,000- ow!
(Miror B kicks Phoebe)
Lucario: Could we all have some tea?
Erika: Sure! I'll be right back!
Erika hurries off, while the six players and Articuno stand amazed.
Miror B: Thanks to my brilliance, we still have an opportunity to make our robbery!
General Buzz: Is Erika really this stupid?
Steven: She's never been known for her smarts.
Lawrence III: So, how are we going to go about this?
Lucario: Simple. General Buzz and I will go off hunting through the Gym for where all the Pokedollars have to be stored, while you four distract Erika.
Miror B: By force or by acting stupid?
General Buzz: By acting stupid, of course!
Erika comes out with tea for the characters, who walk over to a table. Lucario and General Buzz have gone off down a hallway looking for Pokedollars, but of course they went down the wrong one.
General Buzz: Maybe we should have just asked Erika for the Pokedollars.
Lucario: Are you sure?
General Buzz: She let us in, didn't she?
Lucario: Yeah... that actually might not be that bad of an idea.
The two of them go back to meet the rest.
Erika: So, where were you?
General Buzz: Uh...
Erika: Oh, it doesn't matter! Have some tea!
Lucario: (whispering) She is dumb!
General Buzz: Say, could we borrow 1,000,000,000 Pokedollars?
Erika: Borrow? You can have it! I'll go get some of my trainers to give it to you!
Erika walks away again. The six members are laughing, while Articuno looks sick.
Steven: Wow! This is too easy!
Phoebe: You should have just let me ask in the first place, Miror B!
Miror B: I was not aware of Erika's extreme shortcomings in the brains department.
Lawrence III: Why are you so gloomy, Articuno?
Articuno: This is way too easy for you guys. It's unfair!
Lucario: Hey, that's the way it goes!
Erika comes out with Ash and Pikachu.
General Buzz: Uh oh.
Ash: Articuno's got to be the ringleader! Get him, Pikachu! Thunderbolt attack!
Pikachu shocks the confused Articuno and Ash leads him off to a dungeon jail. Meanwhile, Pikachu continues to send electricity towards the others.
Lucario: Get out of here!
The six team members rush for the door. Lucario opens the door, and all six team members run outside.
BOOM!
Steven: What the-?
Ash: Thanks, May!
May: No problem!
Lucario: The front mat’s been taken out, so now we're way down here! Anyone think they can climb out of here?
No one says anything.
Lucario: We're stuck.
Ash: You guys are the stupid ones! Erika figured you were plotting something evil from the start, and she told us back when she got you tea! We planned this out, and it couldn't have turned out better! Now your leader Articuno is jailed, and we're calling up Mewtwo to tell him it's your fault his first legendary Poke’mon is locked up! Enjoy explaining this to him!
Ash runs off.
Steven: We're fired. One of us is, at least.
A-Team
Unaware of the fate of their rivals, the A-Team is still trying as hard as they possibly can- and are continuing to succeed.
Lance: I've got a somewhat new opinion on Kero Kato.
Todd: What's that?
Lance: He's still a loser who talks too much, but he certainly knows what he's doing today.
The five team members besides Kero Kato are advertising for their Game Corner, and they already have a line of characters waiting outside the in-progress Game Corner just waiting to get in. Even Raikou is in line.
Raikou: Kero Kato won his bet, so I've got to go win my Pokedollars back!
A few hours later, the girls have made the Game Corner usable inside the house, and all sorts of characters are rushing inside, including Raikou.
Raikou: Here are your 1,000,000 Pokedollars, Kero Kato.
Kero Kato: Ha! I told you it would work!
Raikou: At least I won't have to explain to Mewtwo that you did a bad job, because you did a great job... Now where's the roulette wheel?
Kero Kato: Over there!
Kero Kato's Game Corner is raking in the big money, and the A-Team continues to promote the Game Corner, which is getting tons of customers.
Meowth: Are you sure this is working out as well as it seems?
Jack: It doesn't seem possible, but I guess it is.
Chuck: I'm glad we didn't fire Kero Kato... yet, that is.
The Game Corner is making millions of Pokedollars, getting close to a billion Pokedollars. Blackthorn City residents obviously are obsessed with gambling, because they are wasting tons of Pokedollars at the Game Corner.
Lance: (whispering) Hey, have any of you wondered what would happen if these people started hitting the jackpot on the slot machines like crazy?
Todd: (whispering) Kero Kato rigged all the slot machines, and card flip machines, and practically every game in the Game Corner. These characters are too stupid to realize that they can't win... especially Raikou.
Lance: (whispering) I'm more like Kero Kato than I thought.
B-Team
Steven: Do you think there's a chance Ash was joking about calling up Mewtwo?
Miror B: There has to be at least a one percent chance that he was joking.
Lawrence III: Come on, guys, there's no way Ash could actually just go call Mewtwo. They're archrivals!
Lucario: Lawrence III's right. Ash can't and won't call Mewtwo.
Mewtwo: Idiots!
Lucario: I stand corrected.
Mewtwo: Get out of there and start explaining!
Phoebe: We can't get out, but we can start explaining.
Mewtwo: Wait... you can explain once you get back to my cave. How many Pokedollars do you have anyway?
General Buzz: One thousand.
Mewtwo: Well, that will be a down payment on Articuno's bail... you'll have to go 999,000 Pokedollars in debt to get him out of jail, or else all of you get automatically fired.
Lucario: Okay, we'll pay.
Mewtwo (on his cell phone): Okay, Ash, you can let the losers out now!
Ash gives the team members a ladder that they climb to get out of the pit. The bruised and embarrassed team members hand Ash their one thousand Pokedollars, and Ash frees Articuno.
Mewtwo: Believe it or not, it's been just about 12 hours since this started, so you have to come to my cave. I'll call up Raikou and get his crew back to my cave too.
Mewtwo's Cave (an hour or so later)...
Mewtwo: Both teams are now here, and let's find out how many Pokedollars each has. Articuno, what's the total for the B-Team?
Articuno: It's below zero.
Mewtwo: How much below zero?
Articuno: 999,000 below.
Mewtwo: You found a way to go into debt! How do you think you could run any part of my army, or do anything against Ash, if your goal is to make Pokedollars but you lose them instead? In fact, you lost Pokedollars you didn't even have! What's the matter, Lucario?
Lucario: You already know this!
Mewtwo: So what? I want to know the answer to these questions!
Lucario: Look, we stunk it up. That's all there is to it.
Mewtwo: Great explanation. How about this other group, the A-Team, Raikou?
Raikou: Well, they sort of made 1,867,539,000 Pokedollars.
Mewtwo: Over a billion?!
Raikou: That's right.
Mewtwo: Kero Kato appears to be a true leader!
Lance: Hey, I was behind him the whole way!
Mewtwo: Sure, whatever. But I'm impressed with Kero Kato and his team. You're immune from firing if you get forced to a special meeting, Kero Kato.
Kero Kato: Thank you.
Mewtwo: And your team can go enjoy its big reward... you each get signed autographs of my picture! These have got to be worth lots of Pokedollars!
Todd: Oh, brother. What about the Pokedollars we earned?
Mewtwo: They go to me, of course. I have to pay off this stupid debt that these losers put me in. Now go away!
The A-Team grab their signed autographed pictures with disgust and jump into a warp.
Mewtwo: Now the real fun begins! First, let's go meet in the room I have prepared for you... heh, heh, heh...
Phoebe: Why do I have a bad feeling about this?
Mewtwo's Meeting Room
Mewtwo is seated in a throne, with Raikou and Articuno in cool-looking seats. The others are in their own pitiful seats, seated around a table, looking worried, except for Miror B, who appears to be plotting some way of destroying Mewtwo.
Mewtwo: So let's talk about what went wrong, which is pretty much everything. First, what was the original idea, Lucario?
Lucario: I figured that if we just picked up a few hundred Pokedollars from some innocent bystanders, we'd beat the other team, who'd probably stink it up.
Mewtwo: Well, they didn't! In fact, they got almost two billion Pokedollars! Speaking of which, why were you counting on your opponents doing poorly? Why not just do well yourself?
Lucario: Because I felt we were doing good enough.
Mewtwo: 1000 Pokedollars is good enough?! Do you think I'd train my Poke’mon on 1000 Pokedollars, and say, "Oh, Ash won't spend more than 999 Pokedollars on his Pokemon"?
Lucario: Well, uh-
Mewtwo: You don't know what you're doing! You're the worst leader ever!
Lucario: Do you think any of these other losers would have done better?
Mewtwo: I don't know. What were your ideas, General Buzz?
General Buzz: They were- uh, they- well, I thought of- I was going to- uh-
Mewtwo: You're no help. What about Miror B?
Miror B: Must... destroy-
Mewtwo: You're useless. Steven?
Steven: I'm loyal. I stood behind Lucario's reasoning.
Mewtwo: Good for you! You see an idiot doing poorly, and you fully agree with him! Who's more foolish, the fool, or the fool that follows him?
Steven: Hey, that line is from Star-
Mewtwo: I know it's from Star Wars! What's your answer?
Steven: Uh-
Mewtwo: You don't have one! How about you, Lawrence III?
Lawrence III: It's not my fault! I didn't do anything!
Mewtwo: That's what you did! And as for you, Phoebe?
Phoebe: I had the idea of just asking Erika for the one billion Pokedollars in the first place!
Mewtwo: First of all, that plan worked well, didn't it? You ended up losing Pokedollars you didn't have! Second of all, why only one billion? That wasn't even enough!
Phoebe: Well, how was I supposed to know?
Mewtwo: You idiots! If you want to become my apprentice and earn a one billion Pokedollar salary, you have to actually think big! You can't just think, "my opponent is going to stink it up"! You can't just think, "the easy way is to just ask Erika for Pokedollars"! You can't just think-
Lucario: Okay, we get the point! We're morons!
Mewtwo: Who would you fire if you had the choice, Lucario?
Lucario: You!
Mewtwo: You're walking on eggshells, buddy! Tell me someone from your team!
Lucario: Okay, I'd fire Miror B.
Mewtwo: Why?
Lucario: Hey, Joseph doesn't like him that much! Maybe he will get him fired!
Mewtwo: Good thinking... not! Miror B, who to fire?
Miror B: Lucario, because he wants to fire me!
Mewtwo: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Lawrence III, because he didn't do anything.
Mewtwo: Steven?
Steven: Phoebe, as she didn't think big.
Mewtwo: General Buzz?
General Buzz: Steven, as he agreed with Lucario.
Mewtwo: Lawrence III?
Lawrence III: General Buzz, because he agreed with Lucario too!
Mewtwo: Well, that's great. You guys don't know who's to blame, so you just blame the first character to come to mind. So now Lucario will pick two of you to stay here with him, where one of the three here will be fired! Lucario, who will it be?
Lucario: Miror B and Phoebe.
Mewtwo: Lucario, Miror B, and Phoebe will stay here, while the other three of you may go, as you are safe- for now! Heh, heh, heh!
The other three walk out of the room and jump into a warp.
Mewtwo: Articuno, what's your opinion on these three losers?
Articuno: Lucario is a blind leader leading the blind. Miror B is out in space somewhere. Phoebe is just plain stupid. None of them deserve to be your apprentice.
Mewtwo: I unfortunately can't fire all three at once, but one will be fired. Lucario, give your argument as to why you should stay.
Lucario: I was given no help, and if any of these were in my position, they would have stunk it up just as badly.
Mewtwo: Good point, but as leader, you should still show yourself to be the best of the bunch. How did Kero Kato do, Raikou?
Raikou: Kero Kato was hated by his teammates, but he proved them wrong, and he got them working for him. He made nearly two billion Pokedollars, and he won a bet with me.
Mewtwo: I banned you from betting!
Raikou: Oops.
Mewtwo: That will cost you 999,000 Pokedollars, to pay off this team's debt.
Raikou: Well, I kind of- don't have any-
Mewtwo: What?!
Lucario: (thinking) This is my way out! I just have to find a way to use this in my favor! (speaking) Hey, don't trust anything Raikou says! He says that Kero Kato was a great leader, but don't trust what he's saying, because he made a bet! So I'm really not that bad after all!
Mewtwo: Wrong, you idiot! If Kero Kato was brilliant enough to get this loser to make a bet despite all the threats I made to him if he bet again after Poke’mon Madness 2's betting fiasco, he's got to be one of the most excellent leaders of the contestants here! You obviously aren't!
Lucario: Aren't you going to ask these other two why they shouldn't be fired?
Mewtwo: Why should I? I was never going to fire anyone but you. Guess what? You're fired!
Lucario sits in silence as the other two players leave the room and jump into the same warp their teammates entered.
Mewtwo: Raikou will lead you to your dungeon cell.
Lucario: Dungeon cell?!
Mewtwo: Hey, if you're this bad, I don't want you going around messing things up for me, like the way you did this time! You won't be much of a threat to me in the dungeon! Goodbye, Lucario!
Raikou leads Lucario to his dungeon cell.
Mewtwo: What a loser that Lucario is.
Articuno: Yeah, he really put up a pitiful performance this episode.
Mewtwo: Fortunately, he's out of here, and maybe his teammates will step it up next episode. Until then, this is Mewtwo saying goodbye for Raikou and Articuno! Remember, Beautiful Monsters love Big Macs! So long until next episode!
END OF CHAPTER 1