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Scar

Blackjack Gabbiani

Clearly we're great!
This was done from a prompt at Rocket100's sister community, Poke100. Go join!




Morty was feeling pensive that day, and he wasn't sure why. But when he was undressing for his shower, he caught a glimpse of the scar. He had forgotten about it, and it took him a moment to remember why it was there.



It was several years ago, before he even became a trainer. He and his friend Minaki had tired of their studies and decided to go exploring.

"Want to go to the woods?" Morty asked. "We could see some wild Gastly in their natural habitat..." Even then he was partial to ghosts.

Minaki shook his head. "I don't want to run into any Ariados. And aren't there Ursaring around here?" Not waiting for Morty to reply, he continued. "How about we go to the Burned Tower?"

Morty gasped. "But that's off limits!"

"You'll never get anywhere in life if you worry about things like that," Minaki laughed. "Come on, let's go!"

Led by his boisterious friend, Morty followed along until they were in the shadow of the ruined building. "All right, we're here. We can say we made it this far."

"You scared?"

"...a little bit," Morty gulped. He wasn't afraid of anything in the tower itself, but the fear of being found out was enough to make him want to stay away.

"Frady cat! Last one in's a rotten Exeggcute!" Minaki called as he darted into the ruins.

Morty sighed, following him reluctantly.

"Haa ha!" he heard from the side of the room. Minaki was halfway up some stairs. "Morty lost, so he's a rotten Exeggcute!" he laughed and pointed before calming down nearly instantly in the way kids do, and began walking down the stairs. "Want to race to the top?"

"Minaki, we really shouldn't be here. This is a sacred place, and--"

And before he could finish, the wood beneath Minaki's feet gave out, and with a sudden scream, he started to plummet to the ground.

Morty didn't think. He dashed up as many stairs as he could and grabbed Minaki's hand, leaving him dangling in the wooden pit. "Hold on!" he shouted, struggling with the weight of the other boy.

"Morty, don't stand there!" was all Minaki could get out before the step Morty was on splintered and cracked in two, sending both of them down.

The next things Morty was aware of was a sudden stop as they hit the ground about six feet below, and a sharp pain along his side. "Uugh..." he groaned, holding an arm out to Minaki, who was crouched before him. "Are you ok?"

"...I think so." He took a second to get his bearings, turning slowly towards Morty. "You should have let me drop. It was just a couple of feet, I'd have been all right."

"I wasn't thinking. Besides, you could have broken your leg or something on the landing."

"Oh..." Minaki paused. "Well...I'm glad you did something, anyway," he said with a smile. "I think we should leave. Can you walk?"

Morty looked down at his side. His shirt was torn, and there was a large splinter sticking from the mess of fabric. With a wince, he drew it out. "Yeah, I think so."

The two returned to town, and never told anyone where they had been.



Morty examined his reflection. There was a small scar where the splinter had been, and he ran his finger down the length of it with a smile. Minaki was now "Eusine", a changed man, and the two hardly ever saw each other. But nothing could remove the time they had together years ago.
 
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Nice and short, I like nice and short. Short and sweet.

The only bit I was slightly off with was the dialogue mainly, I just thought it was too simple and not really defining for each character. The bit where Minaki suddenly changed from the fear of facing risks to wanting to face some danger was a little noticeable too. I dont know, I remember seeing something of yours where the dialogue was fantastic, so maybe I'm subconciously comparing.


Otherwise, I liked the simplicity and your writing style is also wonderful. I dont recall seeing any mistakes, I never do really...

Nice job Blackjack, very original work again.
 
*fixes formatting mistake, stupid notepad*

And oh, what of mine would that be?

But thank you! But I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean by "where Minaki suddenly changed from the fear of facing risks to wanting to face some danger". Do you mean where he didn't want to run into any wild pokemon? Well, he'd take an empty building over a mad Ursaring any day.
 
And oh, what of mine would that be?

I spent a while trying to recall which fic it was, but now I remember - it was Tarnish. That was a very effective piece actually, I was sure I reviewed but apparently not...sorry...

Umm yeah, awkward moment..

But thank you! But I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean by "where Minaki suddenly changed from the fear of facing risks to wanting to face some danger". Do you mean where he didn't want to run into any wild pokemon? Well, he'd take an empty building over a mad Ursaring any day.

Yeah thats what I meant, and now that I think about it, you're indeed right, perhaps it wasnt as reckless =P. No probs then, but thanks for taking my comments into consideration.

Good job, again =).
 
Thanks! Yeah, I like Tarnish too.
 
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