Please read the Fan Fiction Rules. Not only should the actual story be in your first post itself, but your story should be longer than three lines. Typically a chapter should be at least two pages on Microsoft Word - the prologue to your story doesn't have to be that long, but it should still be substantial enough to stand on its own.
While the opening to your story is interesting, there's a lot more detail you can add to it to help the reader really get into your story. Knowing a bit more about how Amy feels, for instance, would really put them in her place - what she's thinking, what she's feeling, what questions she might be asking herself. She seems to be in the middle of the ocean - is it cold? Does she feel the wetness sinking through her clothing, weighing her down and chilling her skin? I really like the detail of water filling her nose and mouth, but does it make her panic and gasp for air at all? What drives her to dive down, and what sorts of things can she see in the dark depths before the Sharpedo? These are all things you can think about to help enhance your story so that it feels all the more real to your reader, and makes them feel the fear and loneliness of Amy's situation. (Plus it adds some much-needed length. ^^)
I do hope you try this again, as it looks like a very cool story! Just please be sure to go back over the rules of the section, and maybe look at some other fics around here for some ideas. Good luck!
~Psychic
