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Moonlight

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Moonlight

-The Prophecy
When the land of shadows is falling, one Pokemon must stand up for what's right, even if no one else does, and save what is worth saving, for the their people, for their land, and for all those who have suffered, but not for theirselves.

-ILooking Ahead
It started out like any other day. Waiting for the sun to set, so she could leave her cave and play. So she could go to the festival, but what she did not know is that by the end of the day she would be running, not for her life, but for the life of her people, so they can live on, even if she must die. The Shard of The Moon was the key to the life of her people and she gave it away, gave it away to the Pokemon that would bring an end to her people, her home, and her friends. She wanted to live but she knew she could not, not unless she wanted her people to die instead.

-Chapter One, Nightmare at Dusk
She was having a dream, no not a dream, a nightmare, there was a sinister figure after her. It wanted something she had in her position, she didn’t know what it was but she knew it was important, to him at least. Right before it got her she felt a bump on her torso, then a harder one, this one woke her up.

Alas, she was free from its hold, and then she heard a voice calling her, Nola, Nola, NOLA! Wake Up! She did as she was told. She struggled to get up and open her eyes. She saw Gonly with his round transparent body and a mystical purple gas following him. He was hovering very close. This Gastly had been her best friend ever since she lived here. He was smaller than the average Gastly but his ego made up for that, he never held back what he had to say, even if his foe was bigger than him. What she liked the most about him was that he always smiled, even when things looked bad, he always did. Then she beamed back at him until he laughs. He would always laugh if you stared at him hard and long enough. She was very mad at him, he had been using Nightmare on her again. Her body began to glow a faint purple, then she lunged full force at Gonly. She used Payback, but he dogged it with great speed. He was good at that. He used his small form and great speed to his advantage. His foes never had a chance to lay a hit on him.

“What was that for?’ Gonly barked.

“You used Nightmare on me again!” Nola roared.

“No I didn’t!”

“Then who did?”

“I don’t know, I heard you crying and came up to see what was wrong, I kept on bumping into to you until I you woke up.”

“You really didn’t do it then?”

“No, never again, not after what happened last time.”

“Well if you didn’t do it who did?”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh, okay then, what time is it?”

“Almost time for The Fallen Stars Festive to start.”

“Well what are we waiting for lets get ready!”

She walked over to the pool of rainwater and looked at her reflection, she saw her black fox like body it the still water with its mysterious blue ring, and finally her yellow eyes. She was different from rest of the Umbreon’s with their yellow ring and red eyes. She was different and proud of it, she couldn’t imagine what life would be without her blue rings. Anyways she cleaned up her fur, then stepped in the lower part of the cave, went out its exit and used Tackle on a tree until fruit fell. She ate them fast and than ran off to join Gonly in the upper part of the cave. He floated there waiting for her. She joined him and they stared at the setting sun. They sat there waiting for it to set, just like any other day, waiting.

MOONLIGHT NEWS----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Moonlight is my first FanFic story. I hope you like it, I will make corection if someone says somethig is in wrong my writing. In this story, they lve in a Region, Divided into smaller regions. Each "mini-region" was molded and ruled by a Legendary Pokemon, but not all of the Legendaries made a place to call home. Please do comment on my story if it needs improvments.

Release Dates--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Down below is a list of chapters, and chapters soon to come.
-Chapter One, Nightmare At Dusk/Reseased October 13
-Chapter Two, The Fallen Stars Festival/Released October 14
-Chapter Three, Crater Valley Race, Race For Your Life/Released October 22
-Chapter Four, Nola the Gaurdian/
*Release Date Can Very But I Will Try To Keep Them On Time

News----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Story still needs to be rated.
-Can some one tell me how to be able to link text to a certain post.
-With every chapter I post I will try to post a exert from the next chapter.

Special Thanks-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Special Thanks to Manaphyman, he rescued me and Nola.
-HommeDor for support
-Gardevoir Girl for many thigs

Beta-Readers---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Manaphyman
-Gardevoir Girl
-HommeDor

PM list---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Manaphyman
-zangoose121433
-Gardevoir Girl
-HommeDor
 
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This is the 1st fanfic i ever read so i can't copare it o much but i do like it. I really like ho the main characters are pokemon and they even have names. I want to know wha did happen last time gonly used nightmare and is the cave 2 stories.
 
it was.... ok i guess.

the characters were there and stuff yet there was literally NO description. i know pokémon by thier french names so i have no idea what a ghastly is and there was no description to tell me...

secondly it was short. but that is probably because it is a prologue :p but something substancial would be nice.

that is all i have to say, but still, good attempt! well done :D
 
it was.... ok i guess.

the characters were there and stuff yet there was literally NO description. i know pokémon by thier french names so i have no idea what a ghastly is and there was no description to tell me...

secondly it was short. but that is probably because it is a prologue :p but something substancial would be nice.

that is all i have to say, but still, good attempt! well done :D
Gastly is a ghost type, it is floating which gives hint toward it. A poison ghost type. 1st stage. Any ways i am working on it so thank you for you coment
 
Sneak Peak!

First I want to thank all those who read my story. Second, I updated my story. I realized i could make it a little better so I did, Thrid, I want to give a short exert of next weaks chapter, The Fallen Stars Festival.
Then a giant Flash out blinding light, a wicked wind, and a scream of pure pain was let out.
 
Chapter Two, Falen Stars Festival!

This wasn't aspose to be a whole chapter. But i looked at it and relized that chapter three needed an enter duction. anyway her it goes, Chapter Two(It has some lenght)

-Chapter Two, The Fallen Stars Festival.
Nola and Gonly have left their cave right after the sun set. They were now going threw a forest path that leads to the center of the Darkness Mountain Range. That is where the festival would be held. They kept on the path for another half-an-hour until the came up to Moonstone Village, one of the three villages in the Darkness Mountain. This was the largest. It always held the weeklong festival. They walked into crowd until they came across Town Square. They found the message board and looked at the events planned for tonight’s festival

07:00P.M. -Festival Starts
09:00P.M. -Ceremonial Speech
10:00P.M. -Crater Valley Race, race for the Shard of the Moon
11:00P.M. -Lunar Dance Play
01:00A.M. -Meteor Shower
02:30A.M. -End of Day One

“Say Nola, why don’t you enter the race this year?” Gonly asked.

"What! Me?” Nola said dumbfounded.

“Let me think, is their any other Pokemon named Nola here… NO!” Gonly said with a little sting.

"Okay then, why me?” Nola said failing to add the sting she wanted to.

“Well you do know Agility and Quick Attack, so why not?” Gonly said in a softer voice.

"I get shy, you know that.” Nola squeaked.

"Oh get over it.” Gonly said.

"Aren’t you my best friend, and all you can say is get over it?” Nola said finally being able to add the sting she wanted.

“I get it you just can’t do it.” Gonly said as if Nola’s sting did nothing.

“I can too do it.” Nola said a little too loud. A passing Clefairy stared at her.

“Oh sure you can.” Gonly said.

"Fine I will sign up for it.” Nola said now with a grip on her voice.

Nola put her paw print on the board and told an Official that she wanted to join. The Kadabra had her go over the race and then signed Nola up. They still had a while until the Ceremony and so they decided to play some games. While playing a game of Whack-A-Diglett, something pushed into Nola’s back. She turned around with a Confuse Ray in hand and stopped when she saw Miles, a Houndour, with his mother Houndoom, Cartissa, next to him. Miles' dad was killed a long time ago in a fight to protect their baby, Miles. The attacker was a Moltres, it wanted their den but they wouldn’t give it up, so it killed Miles Sr. Cartissa was able to escape using Faint Attack. They moved here after that. But you couldn’t tell what happened to him just by looking. He was a fair sized Houndour with a lean build. He was pretty fast, even faster than Gonly. His two bottom fangs hung out on his lower lip. Even for someone so young, some do get scared by him. But despite the fearful look at first glance his eyes were a soft feature, he could calm any one with his eyes.

“Miles you scared me!” Nola said as she let out a sigh.

“Not my fault you’re as easy to scare as a Whismur.” Miles laughed.

"Now Miles you be nice.” Cartissa warned her pup.

“Aw mom, I just came to wish Nola good luck on the race.” Miles said with a face so gentle that Nola couldn’t help but lose all her anger when she saw it.

“Thank you Miles, wait how did you know I would be in the race?” Nola said.

“Gonly told everyone.” Miles replied.

“GONLY! You said you wouldn’t tell anyone!” Nola shrieked.

“I did? It must have slipped my mind” Gonly said with a smirk.

“Nola I hope you win. I will be chanting for you” Miles said.

"Thank you Miles, you don’t know how much that helps.” said Nola

Miles and Cartissa then left to go play some games. Nola thought about what Miles said. It calmed Nola for some reason, she didn’t feel scared any more. She could race, she would win the race, for Miles. Then the bells rang and everyone started toward the Arena for the Ceremony.

Nola and Gonly took a seat up front, where Gonly liked it the most. A Pokemon came out with a crescent shape body and it eyes were a deep scarlet red, it was a Lunatone. A Lunatone always told the story because of it eyes, it was hard not to look into its eyes, so you were forced to pay attention. It began to tell everyone the prophecy. Nola always loved the telling of the Prophecy. This went on for a good forty-five minutes. Then when al ways finished they began with the race.

The Lunatone started to call the names of the Pokemon who entered. The first name was Nola's, she walked up to the stage regretting the fact that Gonly talked her into it with every step. Then Marco, a beautiful Nuzleaf with features so complex Nola felt a little attracted to him. His most noticeable feature was his chest, it looked as if it was made of harder wood. After that a Mightyena was called up. Its name was Julie, she didn’t look all too fast. She was sort of chunky and her black and gray fur was clumped. She stumbled coming up the stage. If it weren’t for the Lunatone hovering silently nearby with its mesmerizing stare, Nola would have been sure the crowd would have laughed. Next to be called was an Absol named Elaine. It walked up to the stage with such poise and posture it made Nola jealous. Its black blade shimmered against her white coat. What came up next shocked Nola, a Noctowl, Jethro, normally flying type Pokemon weren’t allowed to enter the race. Its large red eyes where as almost as mesmerizing as the Lunatone’s. It didn't walk or fly, it glided over its opponents with impressive earth colored wings spread out and the horn feather pointed toward Nola. It landed right next to Nola startling her. It stood there not moving as if it was made of stone. For the last one the Lunatone called for Katalin, but no Pokemon came up. This was bad, there must be six entries. Without six Pokemon the race cannot go on. But right then Miles jumped up with such speed it was as if he flew.

“I will take her place!” Miles announced.

“NO YOU WILL NOT!” Cartissa said with so much anger even the Lunatone was shocked.

"Mom, if not the race can’t go on.” Miles whined.

“Someone else will have to take her place then.” Cartissa said still with anger.

"But I can do it” Miles continued to whine.

"Cartissa I will make sure he is not harmed, don’t worry, now let him race.” Nola said before Cartissa could speak. This outburst even shocked herself.

“But you must race too, how will you be sure!” Cartissa said not with anger but with sorrow.

"I can, don’t worry. You know I wouldn’t let him get hurt.” Nola said much softer.

“But!” Cartissa continued.

"He will be safe” Nola said with meaning.

After this Cartissa was silent. The Lunatone agreed to let Miles race. The Crater Valley Race was to be an hour long. It was dangerous, Nola didn’t know how she would keep Miles safe. The path was rugged, there were traps, pit falls, and the thing that made Crater Valley famous, its rock slides. They have trapped, hurt, crippled, and killed Pokemon. Nola would have struggled to keep Miles safe. They all lined up at the starting line, Marco was building up a ball of light, Jethro’s eye were glowing, and a sinister sound could be heard from Elaine. Then a giant Flash of blinding light, a wicked wind, and a scream of pure pain was let out.


I hope you liked it as much as i liked writting it. Chapter Three is Called Crater Valley Race, race for your life! This one is where it get interesting. Keep on posting!
 
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Well, I don't know why you asked me to review, Dark Persian is the best here for sure.

But I will give you a general review.

Prologue: Can you even call it that? It was incredibly short, no description, and had me lost. Change that to backround information.

Chapter 1: Plot-wise? A little confusing, but interesting. Description of the dream was non-existenent, and it was too short. The dailogue was both confuisng and lacking.

Chapter 2: An improvment, but see above really.

The only reason I'm being so harsh is, this is a good story and has fantastic potential, if it is properly written. I will continue to follow this though.
 
ah that was chapter two... that means the prologue really was a prologue anc chapter 1??? hmmm.... how... disappointing.

anyway, chapter two was interesting yet i felt no suspense, or mystery, or anything making me long to read more....
again, no description, thank goodness for Bulbapedia, i was able to translate all the pokémon names. you really need to work on the description, that would really behelpful!

anyway, well done, still seems o.k. but i know you can make it better.

par Homme d'Or ;090;/;091;
 
Exert from chapter three

ah that was chapter two... that means the prologue really was a prologue anc chapter 1??? hmmm.... how... disappointing.
anyway, chapter two was interesting yet i felt no suspense, or mystery, or anything making me long to read more....
again, no description, thank goodness for Bulbapedia, i was able to translate all the pokémon names. you really need to work on the description, that would really behelpful!
anyway, well done, still seems o.k. but i know you can make it better.
par Homme d'Or ;090;/;091;
Sorry but it is my first story. I will get better. This chapter was just a way to introduce next weeks chapter. I finished next week's chapter and i have been editing it. I realized that if i go over them i can make them alot better. I will gove a part of next weeks chapter(It could change, as in grammer and stuff).
thanks for the support. I am trying to amke next weak alot better.

Well, I don't know why you asked me to review, Dark Persian is the best here for sure.
But I will give you a general review.
Prologue: Can you even call it that? It was incredibly short, no description, and had me lost. Change that to backround information.
Chapter 1: Plot-wise? A little confusing, but interesting. Description of the dream was non-existenent, and it was too short. The dailogue was both confuisng and lacking.
Chapter 2: An improvment, but see above really.
The only reason I'm being so harsh is, this is a good story and has fantastic potential, if it is properly written. I will continue to follow this though.

I asked you because it's better to have more than one view. As for the Three part Chapter One, The dream is important, she is not the only one. Thaks for chapter two. I am getting the hang of it so by chapter lets say 5, i hope that it is really good. I wanted you to be harsh, i can't improve with sugar coated words. Thanks

Here is the exert for chapter 3(this might happen every week too)
-Chapter Three, Crater Valley Race, Race For Your Life

Nola didn’t know what happened. She was panicking. Marco’s Flash had left her dazed and confused. When the light finally dimmed, Nola saw Julie lying on the ground knocked out cold. Elaine’s Razor Wind and Jethro’s Gust hit at the same time. It was to much. Nola looked down the path and saw the other three racers. Nola started to worry, she couldn’t see Miles anywhere. She again looked at Julie’s unconscious body, no sign of Miles. If he wasn’t by Julie or with the others where was he?

Now that is Good
 
Your welcome.

Hmmm, I like the "spoiler" it intrigues me. However, the word race back to back in the title? You might wanna fix that.
 
hey i like this fic could you put me on a pm list
 
hey i like this fic could you put me on a pm list
O dpn't get what your saying, could you PM and be a litle more clear, and thanks for liking my work, you do not know how much that mean to me.
Your welcome.

Hmmm, I like the "spoiler" it intrigues me. However, the word race back to back in the title? You might wanna fix that.
Thanks, the title was hard to choose this is a list of thigs i came up with.
The Race Ror Your Life, Crater Valley Race
Crater Valley Race, The Race For Your Life
Crater Valley Race, First Place Prize, you life
amd many more, but i picked that one, but thanks for your comment.

Chapter three is really long. I am most likely going to split it into two chapters(this is a little help full, it gives me more time to work on chapter four)
I got one more thing to say, in the next couple of chapters, lengendaries are set to make their apperances.
 
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Hello Eveyone, I have updated the first post. You can now stay up to date with Moonlight News! So go read it! NOW!
 
Yeah, of course. I respect the authors descison. It's your fic, do whatever you feel is right.
I am wrapped up for tonioght, i got a couple more things to say. Thank you again, again, manaphyman. Second, i edited all chapters so go overthem and see if there any better. thats it.
 
The second chapter is good, it makes me want the 3rd chapter more(thank the exert for that too). You seem to be getting better. Good Job! I like the little thing you set up on the first post. It helps alot!
 
Just so you know, you can't keep both the prologue and the first chapter in one post. However truthfully, the prologue can barely even be counted as a prologue: it's more like a very vague summary of what is to come. If you just call it an introduction or something like that instead, you'll be fine.

I intend to review this in my spare time later.


Good luck,
~Psychic
 
Just so you know, you can't keep both the prologue and the first chapter in one post. However truthfully, the prologue can barely even be counted as a prologue: it's more like a very vague summary of what is to come. If you just call it an introduction or something like that instead, you'll be fine.

I intend to review this in my spare time later.


Good luck,
~Psychic
I just logged out, then i realized i forgot to check my Pm's, i logged back in, checked them, when i did i decided to check my story too. So thanks, I changed it, i new it wasn't realy a prolouge, so intro will do for now(I plan to change it). But i got a but load of homework to do so i gota go. C-yah?
 
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