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Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Blackjack Gabbiani, Jan 22, 2017.

  1. Blackjack Gabbiani

    Blackjack Gabbiani Clearly we're great!

    (Takes place after Cyrus's Generations episode)

    "Is this really what you were after?"

    Cynthia had arrived, one of her many visits to the shadowy world. Her familiar question had become as recurring as she was, and today she used it to announce her presence.

    Cyrus turned, seeing her on the platform to his side. "Champion. Is this really the company you wish to keep?"

    She smirked. "Always with that sass. I don't think you ever fooled anyone when you claimed to be emotionless." She set a basket down and sat, gesturing for him to join her.

    The steps in the Distortion World had become second nature to him, and he manouvered the floating platforms with ease. Cynthia still had difficulty traversing them, and Giratina often had to bring her to wherever Cyrus was. He sat next to her, not looking at her but off into the distance, saying nothing as she did likewise.

    After a while, Cynthia broke the silence. "I brought you something." She pulled a book from the basket and set it next to his hand. "It's one of my favorites, so I hope you like it."

    He sighed, a sound of distance rather than irritation, before glancing down. "Mm. I read this as a child. Naught but fairy tales."

    Cynthia laughed. "Stories of the twin birds of Johto, fairy tales?"

    "They were useless to my goal. They were nothing that I wanted."

    She pushed the book a little closer to him, otherwise quiet, and the two sat silently again.

    Giratina landed by Cyrus's side, and the man reached out to pet its head. "...Still emotional," he chided the beast softly. "After all this time, you haven't learned to temper that."

    "What do you mean?" Cynthia asked, leaning back to get a full view.

    "Giratina is...for lack of a better word, lonely." His hand trailed to the golden markings across its face. "The creature banished for its violence...whatever it had done, it bears no hatred in its heart now."

    Cynthia retrieved something else from the basket, a sweet pastry, and stood up. "Giratina, do you eat? These are a speciality of Sinnoh. You can have this one if you want."

    The pokémon leaned towards her, giant body barely having to move despite the distance, and sniffed the offered item before picking it up in a tendril and eating it whole.

    "See, there you go. Cyrus, I brought you one too."

    He noted the implication of that. The other had been for her rather than Giratina, and she had forgotten to include it in her plans. "Maybe it will enjoy these stories," Cyrus said as he picked up the book. "I've been reading to it, those books you brought before. Concepts of science, especially physics, seem to fascinate it."

    "You're really good with it," Cynthia smiled. "I never would have thought you could be trusted with a legendary, but the two of you are like old friends."

    Cyrus shook his head. "I need no such thing."

    "Maybe you don't, but that doesn't mean you don't have them." She rested a hand on his shoulder. "Someday you'll leave here. You'll probably use that orb you found to keep Giratina with you. And you'll see everything the world is like, the joy it has in it. You'll understand the importance of emotions."

    It wasn't that he thought emotions were unimportant. It was that he thought they were detrimental. He had told her this before but still she insisted on her own version of things. "I have no want to leave this place. No one was to look for me. No one was to find me."

    Cynthia laughed. "When someone sees you get sucked into another dimension, they're generally going to look for you there."

    "I gave an order."

    "And I'm not one of your followers. I'm under no obligation to obey."

    A small smile crept to his face, similar to how he had smiled upon seeing the Distortion World for the first time. "Still Cynthia."

    "I know this world isn't what you want. But I know it's what you need right now." Her touch trailed down his arm to hold his hand. "And when you're ready, I can help you get integrated back into the outside world."

    Cyrus took a step back. "I'm not leaving. This is the world I looked for. This is where I belong." He was still smiling.

    Giratina leaned over and gently butted its head against him, a prompt to pet it again. When he did, it roared loudly, a sound Cynthia had for so long percieved as anger but that Cyrus insisted was contentment.

    "I can't get used to that noise," she chuckled. "Hey, Cyrus, I know someday you'll leave. Even if it's just to visit. And I know this isn't the world you wanted, not with all your talk of having to bring justice or ridding everyone of spirit..."

    "Is there a point to this, Champion? You seem to want me to further that goal despite vowing to stop me."

    She flopped back down by the basket. "I don't think that's your goal any more. I don't think I would have to stop you because I don't think you would do anything I would have to stop. I think you've changed. This world has changed you, and specifically I think Giratina has changed you. You have a friend now."

    The first thought that came to his mind startled him. He had never thought of things in the way that first thought framed, and at her words he gasped at the realization.

    Even in an empty world, he wasn't alone. He had two friends by his side.
  2. Before anything: Cyrus’s Generations episode was the best one so I had to read this.

    I really like how you wrote their interactions here. It’s rather simple, but at the same time you do well in showing Cynthia’s assertiveness and optimism as well as Cyrus’s stubbornness and straightforward way of speaking. The contrast really works in defining these characters.

    I also like how you use Giratina here. It doesn’t really do much, yeah, but how it acted toward Cyrus did well in proving Cynthia’s point about him. And I admit, the image of a Giratina asking a human a tenth its size to pet it sure is something!

    If anything, the only thing that caught me off-guard was how Cynthia and Cyrus already established a (sort-of) friendship before the events of this one-shot, but I don’t think that’s relevant to what you’re trying to do here since their interactions are still in-character. Good one-shot all in all!
  3. Blackjack Gabbiani

    Blackjack Gabbiani Clearly we're great!

    It really was even though they got his motives wrong.

    As far as establishing a relationship prior to the events of the fic, I was trying to set up that her visits had been going on for some time. I say in the second line that this was one of her many visits. So she's been working on him for a while now.

    Glad you liked it!
  4. JX Valentine

    JX Valentine Ever-Discordant


    In any case, I'm not entirely surprised that you got Cyrus's character down, but I still feel like I need to mention that because even after all these years, I don't think that's an easy feat for many people. It's so very easy to misinterpret Cyrus as a brooding or maniacal character, but here, he's neither of these things. He's calm, rational, and just slightly exasperated by Cynthia's presence—in short, a perfectly reasonable character whose main goal is apparently to be left the eff alone. (And to be fair, if someone who technically used to be your enemy barged into a place where you're reasonably content to tell you that not only do you need to come with them but also that you're gonna do it willingly someday, you'd probably be stubborn af too.)

    And then you have Cynthia, who—as in canon—is a lovely foil to Cyrus without being an antagonist. Her patience and compassion are obvious here, especially in how she treats the subject of his stay in the Distortion World. It's not "you will come with me because you shouldn't be here"; it's "this is what you need right now, and when you're ready, you'll leave on your own." She understands why he's there, and she's more than willing to give him space. That's why those last lines are so believable—because, yeah, that's exactly what a friend is, but more importantly, it's very true to who Cynthia is in canon.

    (Furthermore, I loved the lines where Cyrus says he gave Cynthia an order, and she responds that she doesn't have to follow them. That so effectively establishes them as equals while at the same time saying a lot about Cynthia, and I just couldn't cram this note into the above paragraph and thus had to say it separately.)

    In short, this is a quiet fic, but it's a fascinating one. I can certainly see these two characters having this kind of interaction post-canon, and that might be what fascinates me the most. It's just the thought of a canon character having an amicable relationship with a team boss, where one side or the other moves past the events of the games and into some sense of stability thanks to their interactions. It's all around a sweet thought.

    Also? One final note: Giratina is the best doggo. Just sayin'.
  5. Chibi Pika

    Chibi Pika Stay positive

    Well this was a fun read! I’ve always been fascinated by the idea that Cyrus remained in the Distortion World, so seeing a short story that explores that concept is a real treat. I really like the way you’ve written Cyrus here, too. From the way that he has calmly accepted his own “banishment” alongside Giratina, to the point that he has no intention of ever leaving. He has a lot more in common with Giratina than one would expect! And in coming to embrace that, he’s also slowly coming to embrace the value of connection, (much as he would prefer not to).

    Also, Cynthia is my favorite champion, and I never get to see her in anything. She complements Cyrus nicely here, the way she knows exactly what he needs and how to say the right things to get him thinking, without pushing too hard.

    And seconding that Giratina is best doggo. :p

  6. Negrek

    Negrek Lost but Seeking

    Ahahaha, at the end of the Cyrus short I was totally convinced he and Giratina were going to be hanging out being epic friends in the Distortion World, and I'm glad that you had a similar interpretation. The relationship between Cyrus and his giant demon-worm pal are adorable, and the way Cyrus frames the relationship is great. Of course Giratina is lonely and wants a friend. Of course Giratina still pays too much attention to emotion. Naturally Cyrus needs no one and has no use for emotion, but I guess it's fortunate that he's willing to humor Giratina anyway, eh?

    I'm a little less sold on the relationship between Cyrus and Cynthia. I guess I don't really see the connection between them here. Cynthia's sympathetic and concerned with Cyrus' well-being, sure, but that alone doesn't account for how close they are, I think. This is maybe a place where skipping to where their relationship is established rather than showing how it built up hurts you a little bit; I can get why Cynthia shows up to check on Cyrus, but not why she wants to share one of her favorite novels with him, if that makes sense.

    I do love how well the narration fits Cyrus, though. Very clinical and disinterested and analytical, while at the same time in total denial of some fundamental truths about himself. For all Cyrus prizes objectivity and rational thought, the tenacity with which he clings to certain untruths is about as far from rational as you can get. He really has a fascinating psychology, and you do a great job of capturing it here, both through his dialogue and the prose itself. This is just a short little piece, but it's a fine character study nonetheless.
  7. Blackjack Gabbiani

    Blackjack Gabbiani Clearly we're great!

    Yeah, I agree. I feel like I rushed the ending and stuff, but I also think that if it had been much longer than I wouldn't have finished it. I sort of left it up to the reader to fill in some of the elements since she's done this before, but I should have given some more detail. Though Cynthia does seem the sort to make everyone around her try her favorite stuff.

    I think most people had that indication at the end of that episode. And I partially wrote this because I disagreed with the episode saying that Cyrus wanted to stay there. It's supposed to be based on the games but in the games he HATES that world and he only stays there because he's stubborn and having a meltdown/tantrum. But being entirely alone (well, with a giant ghost dragon centipede dog) will likely do him some good.

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