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[Yami Ryu]

This is a parody of Twlight. I've already obtained permission from Sandra pretty much to post this, as it's not taking directly from the story as I'm only using what I remember from a site for the baseline and about most of the movie I watched ... and remember. This is a parody but not one of humor. Or atleast light humor.

Anyways, Zephyr Flare owns some of the characters. I own the rest. And some are just from anywhere, her or me.

Rated PG-13 to R for MATURE CONTENT. Which means language, violence, deaths... etc.

And here is the Prologue.

Prologue
Unwanted​

It had happened again.

It always happened.

No matter how much he tried. How much he wooed. How much he showed them, they always did the same thing. They left him on the curb, ignored him and turned their attentions towards less worthy creatures. With more vile thoughts than he.

How it infuriated him. He continued to grace the lives of these perfect angels, only to continuously find they were tainted. Dirty. Worthless.

But he did give them a chance. One last chance. Always one last chance.

But this one, it was the same. She was screaming in the corner, cowering from him. Why? All he had done was get rid of the wretched hound that no good scum sucking ******* had given her. It wanted the same thing its owner did, of course with female dogs. But it was always the same.

It always happened like this. It always ended like this.

Turning his head aside, he coughed up a bit more of that vile ooze that he had injested upon ripping out the dog's neck with his own teeth.

It caused her to scream louder.

This was getting on his nerves.

He could smell the stench of terror, amongst other things, radiating from her now fouled body. Why didn't they ever believe he wouldn't have harmed them. Why did they always act like this. He was not the villian. He was here to safe them. But no, they always did this.

Always.

You're never going to get a girl. Never. Not like this. Ever. A cruel, malicious voice whispered to him in the back of his mind. He usually was able to ignore this, but with the sickening taste of animal blood in his mouth, fur between his teeth. The girl screaming from her soiled corner, it was hard to ignore the voice.

Like what always happened.

See, she is not right for you anyways. She is to weak. To dirty. Such a pathetic, wretched creature. Not even worthy of a meal for you, the voice cooed out, sin and silk mixed together as it flowed across his mind. Etching itself across his soul, or what was left of it, even more. Claiming the broken creature ever more. Release her, and we will search together. For a new girl. A better girl.

He felt his legs start to move. He lurched forwards.

It was happening again.

A girl that will love you. Love us. Worship us.

His arm snapped out, hand encircling the neck of the girl before she could even recover enough of her scattered mind to attempt flight or fight.

A girl that is pure. Is perfect.

His arm raised up. The filthy creature that let out gagged mewls struggled in his super human grip, clawing uselessly at the wrist of the hand choking her to death.

And she will want us, as we want her.

And like always- his hand tightened. A sickening snap-crunch filled the air, followed by a blood chilling gurgled wheeze as the last breath of the nameless girl escaped the slackening grip around the neck of her lifeless form. Blood starting to bubble from her mouth and nose, creeping down her face. Hitting the floor, her clothes, the killers hand.

Wordlessly, he brought his hand to his face. Licked the few drops of blood off his hand, before turning and leaving.

Unlike the last times. This time, he did not bid the dark voice away.

This would be the last time, he was unwanted by a worthless maiden.

 

[TurtwigFan1]

Nice work, Yami. Twilight's one of my favourite book series and I'm always interested in reading parodies. The prologue is very gripping, with excellent writing on your part. I love your choice of words and the fact you didn't reveal any key information, yet still have me on the edge of my seat. I'll definitely keep reading!

 

[Yami Ryu]

Er then maybe I should have gone to wikipedia sooner.

Satire is often strictly defined as a literary genre or form; although, in practice, it is also found in the graphic and performing arts. In satire, human or individual vices, follies, abuses, or shortcomings are held up to censure by means of ridicule, derision, burlesque, irony, or other methods, ideally with the intent to bring about improvement.[1] Although satire is usually meant to be funny, the purpose of satire is not primarily humour in itself so much as an attack on something of which the author strongly disapproves, using the weapon of wit.

This isn't parody persay in gags and stuff... this is pretty much satire/attack/etc parody. Mostly taking what 'lolz' I've heard about the series and putting a better realistic twist for main characters to act.

So yeah I suggest if you're a Twilight fan, you probably won't enjoy this. It's not going to be like some anti pokemon fan's spamming ffnet with a disection of a pikachu- but it's going to be little comfort for what I'm going to do.

 

[#Chimecho#]

Wow

I am practicing horror writing as I am looking to be an author of that genre, and I must say, this inspires me. I have read Twilight, and did enjoy it though it was not the best thing ever (probably due to the fact I am a guy; seems a bunch of girls, mostly 'tweens,' loved it too death). But I do like the twist on things. It is a satire obviously, and I think I will thoroughly enjoy this.

If there was anything grammatically incorrect, I missed it due to being dragged into the Vampires world, 'His Mind' I should say. I liked the use of the short sentences to add onto thoughts of power, greed, lust, and anger.

I like this.

><> Truth

Edit: Maybe dragged into his world isn't appropriate. Pulled, or sucked it might be right.

 

[TurtwigFan1]

Ah well, I'll still enjoy it. I've read many Twilight parodies/satires and enjoyed them all. I'll still keep reading and I'll probably still like it!

 

[SkyHighSwellow]

See, she is not right for you anyways. She is to weak. To dirty.

The way you wrote this... should "to" be "too"?

I really enjoy this writing style; of course, I'm always willing to read a good Twilight parody/satire, anyway. I'll be reading...

 

[ChloboShoka]

Always wanted to read a twilight parody. I laughed a bit because in the third line, because I made a pretty bad misreading; I read wooed as pooed.

Putting that aside; I liked this prologue a lot. The style was brilliant as was the description. I loved the tone that came out. I think it was well written and presented well. A pretty good hook. The italics made some grip to the piece as well.

He could smell the stench of terror, amongst other things, radiating from her now fouled body
Loved this sentence. I thought it was really powerful and made a good impact. Espcially "stench of terror" that worked for me.

 

[Yami Ryu]

This .. this chapter is crap and I apologize for making people wait, for crap.

I'll chuck it at Sandra later for beta-ing.

Which probably will only make it slightly less crap.

I attempted to try and not mix up past and present tenses, but I still have a hard time catching my own mistakes.


Btw if you couldn't guess by a part of the chapter, it hints that the Prologue is set a ways back into the past. How long? Well that's an answer for another time.

Chapter One
Home again. Home again​

Home. What kind of a place is it? Where you feel safe. Where you live. Where your loved ones are amongst you, friends can come over. It's warm. It's loving. It's a good enviroment. You can escape from your troubles, dangers, anything that threatens you.

Well. It is a nice dream to have, about a home.

For the rest of the people gracing this earth, it's not always as pleasent. Not that Kasindra could really complain .. her home, of sorts wasn't so bad. But, as the young woman took the same well worn route back home that she'd always taken before and seemingly alwats would, she was hoping her mother was sober.

She wasn't abusive when drunk. But, it wasn't an entirely pleasent experience either.

It also had caused rumors to fly around, whispered by nieghbors, yet always seemingly never with enough effort to not be heard by the people they would gossip about. Before Kasindra had paid it no mind, but that was before the half whispered rumors centered around her broken little family. Claiming her mother was a drunkard *****- that had driven such a fine man away from the small town. And other such featherbrained ilk.

Kasindra knew otherwise though. It wasn't from alcohol, drugs or another woman. No it was worse. Her father had decided he was gay, ran off with some boy only a few years older than her. He had tried to call from somewhere, saying he hadn't wanted to ruin their lives or anything if the town found out. Or some excuse like that. Kasindra had, with an even tone, told her father what she thought of him, what he had done to her life, and where he could put his selfish needs. He'd not made the mistake of calling again.

And now as Kas walked down the old concreate path of the nieghborhood, ignoring the buzz of insects and barks of the dogs, she just hoped her mother was sober. Because it wasn't easy, supporting a parent who was now an alcoholic. Money for school, daily needs and bills was getting dangerously thin.

Down the small sidewalk, past a few more houses, still lost in thought over what they were going to do if her mother didn't get herself out of the bottle. Thoughts of part time jobs, and quitting school resurfaced, but the young woman pushed them away as she made the same turn she always did, taking the worn path and steps up to her home's front door. She knew it wasn't locked, so wasn't surprised when she pushed the door open and headed inside. Without a pause she turned to close the door behind her and lock it, slipped her backpack off and dropped it to the floor.

“Mom I'm home!” She shouted out, expecting some sort of reply. But none came. Strangely, the house was also silent. Hesitaiting a moment, Kasindra stood by the front door a moment longer before venturing into the suddenly darker house. Had it always felt so opressing to be inside? “Mom?!” Kasindra called out again. But as before, no answer came. All was silent save the creak of some floorboards as Kasindra made her way through the small home.

She checked the kitchen, but it was empty, save the fridge left open. Kasindra closed it and re-entered the living room, heaving for the hallway to the back of the house. The bathroom held no sign either. Not her bedroom, nor her mother's. By now, Kasindra was starting to worry, and the worry continued to grow as she made her way to the front of the house, to be specific, the living room. Kasindra had started for the phone, her mother somehow was able to keep a cellphone, God only knew how, when a slip of white paper, in stark contrast to the dark blue phone caught her eye.

Confused.. and fearing what she'd find in that little note, Kasindra shakily picked it up, unfolding it while moving to a brighter area. A chill sweeping down her spine. It wasn't elegant, those words scribbled down like scratches from chickens, on that slip of paper. It wasn't proper. It wasn't loving.

As Kasindra read the few words upon the little note, she felt as if the whole world that was so fragile around her, begin to crack. Then shatter.

I can't take this anymore. Gone to start a new life.

A small bitter part of Kasindra wondered if it was not her father who had started breaking the family apart. But infact her mother. This was small comfort and not really something she was focused on as her legs grew week and Kasindra fell to her knees. A sob escaping her. How was she going to get out of this..?

- ~ -​

It had been a week. A long. Shaky, exhausting week, for Kasindra. She skipped school, not leaving the house. Not really having a desire to leave. She felt detached, as if she didn't belong here either. But where to go? She was barely sixteen, she had no life experiences. She was barely an above average student when it came to grades. Knowing how to spend money didn't matter if you didn't have it, or didn't have the skills to go earn it.

Food had long run out by the day after her mother had run off. Kasindra had still been in a form of shock and denial. Her mother would be back, wouldn't she? But no calls came. Her mother didn't come back. And the only people that did call by the second day, were debt collectors. Which shattered most of the denial and sent Kasindra spiralling into even more of a funk. Her mother had somehow managed to take loans out, with Kasindra's information, using her own daughter to get money to 'start a new life'.

Kasindra was already a few thousand, if not more, dollars in debt, and she had no way to pay it off.

By the third day she just grabbed the phone and hurled it across the room, after that she just slunk over to the corner with what remained of her strength and slumped to the floor. Seconds ticked by. Becoming minutes, then hours. She barely moved unless it was needed.

Kasindra knew she had to do something. That she couldn't live like this. But what can you do when you've been abandond by both parents. When you're in a debt you can't pay off. What can one possibly do when so frayed, distraught and worn down without even realising it, untill to late?

Not knowing the answer, Kasindra sat. Waiting for something. Anything.

Even her own death...

But nothing happened as she sat there. There came no miraculous flash. No sudden appearence from her father. Her mother didn't magically appear, sober and crying out, attempting to atone for her sins. Nothing. Kasindra was alone in her corner in the dark room.

Is this all you can acomplish?

Kasindra started a moment, looking around with wide eyes before pausing, taking in a small, sharp breath. Had she lost her mind?

Most likely. Look at you. Sitting here. Like a lump, awaiting death to come to your doorstep. At this rate it will happen, do you want that?

She had. She had gone crazy. But the voice was right. And as Kasindra sluggishly thought about it, no .. she really didn't want to die.

Good. Now get up. Come on. Up.

“But.. I..” Kasindra croaked out.

I said Up. Girl. There was almost a growl at the end of it, turning the command into a threat. And while questioning her own sanity, fear shot through her body, giving Kasindra a boost that she needed to stagger to her feet and head for the door. But her head felt so light..

That's it.. The voice now said in a soothing tone, instantly dropping the threatening stance. Just a bit closer.. It continued as she made it to the door, patience echoed in its ‘voice’ as she grabbed the doorknob and turned it, pushing the door open...

And then Kasindra fainted.

She didn't see the sun rise into a new day. She didn't hear the daily ruckus from dogs and cats that lived in the neighborhood. She didn't hear people start to bustle about their day. And Kasindra definately did not hear a startled scream from the snoopy Mrs Robin, next door, thinking she had just become a witness to a murder.

- ~ -​

The woman was screaming. But she was dead already, she just didn't know it. Even as she ran off, there was no one around for miles upon miles. The forest around them was as good as a desert, if not better. The Vampire made no move to go after the woman as he calmly licked a hand clean of the blood from the man he had just killed. Though the bloody, torn remains on the ground barely even resembled something that had once been alive, let alone human.

Disgusting. Always so disgusting. He thought bitterly to himself, but food was food.

As he finished cleaning his hand off, a fallen wallet caught his attention. Well while he didn't normally use money, he wouldn't turn it down. After this last feeding, he really needed new clothing.. Letting his hand drop away from his mouth he moved the few paces over to the wallet, stooped down and scooped it up in the freshly cleaned hand. Flipping it open, he routed about with his left, as there was barely any blood on it anyways. Surprised at the amount his hand came away with after a few moments, he didn't notice the picture for a few moments, and when he did, the money got tossed to the side. Uncaring as it fell on the bloodied remains, as there was still far more inside the wallet, he grabbed the picture holding it up, allowing the faded light to illuminate the photograph enough to be seen.

Starting when he saw what it contained, he almost dropped the picture, but managed to catch himself and prevent it. Still, his eyes were a bit wide from surprise. Then the shocked expression slowly shifted, changed, became a sickingly creepy, yet evil leer. “You sly dog,” he hissed out, his voice slipping past red stained fangs like sinful silk. “You had a daughter.”

But thoughts of revenge wer cut short.

HER. The voice within him snarled out. She is the one! it exclaimed viciously, slithering about his mind like a demented, writhing worm. The Vampire frowned, yes he did want his bride but how was it so sure this was the one?

She has the mark, it hissed out.

“What!?” he exclaimed, quickly glancing back at the photograph but he saw nothing, untill. Just out of sight, a darker mark on the girl's neck, almost at the jawline of the right of her face. He couldn't make it out but if that was the mark.. all this time spent searching.. The grin came back, with avengence. So that was why the fool had lied to him. Tricked him. Made him chase the wrong girls for so long.

Claim her. The voice commanded. There came no objections to that command as he pocketed the photo, and then the wallet. Forgetting about obtaining fresh clothes for the moment he took off. The woman was still alive, he would get answers out of her...

- ~ -​

The first thing that registered, was soft, muted talking. And something- no, several somethings, beeping here and there about her. For a moment, Kasindra wondered if she was dead. ’Atleast that voice is gone,’ she thought to herself before stirring a little. Feeling weak and weary. Strange. Wasn't one supposed to feel better when in heaven? Or had she gone ...

Her eyes cracked open slowly, it felt like the grit in them was trying to force them to stay closed, to Kasindra. But she fought against it valiantly. Her reward was a dimly lit room, that was cold. But the multitude of blankets ontop of her kept the chill at bay. They were warm too, which helped.

The voices became a bit clearer, causing Kasindra to turn her head a bit in their direction. She couldn't make it out real well, but it appeared to be two people.. two men? Talking. Not that she could hear the talking any better with them mumbling so low and her ears ringing somewhat with ‘white noise’. After a few moments though, they stopped and both men looked at her- the one without the white and blue on his form started over to her. When he was close enough, Kasindra was shocked, as she took in who it was. The worry worn face, the dark grey eyes. The greying auburn hair.

“Oh my baby girl, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry,” Kasindra's father whispered, eyes tearing up a bit, from relief as he carefully went to hug his daughter. Kasindra didn't struggle, or push him away. She just wondered why her eyes hurt as much as her heart did. Before weakly attempting to hug her father in return.

“I'm going to take you home baby, I'm going to take care of you. Don't worry,”

And for the first time, in what felt like a very long time, Kasindra didn't.