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Forsaken

Kutie Pie

"It is my destiny."
Encyclopika: Lol, it's okay, you have plenty of time, trust me x3. If you have questions, shoot me a PM whatever it's about, I'll be happy to answer. Legion will explain more about what he has to do with Mew and Mewtwo in chapter twelve. Mew has mentioned it was going to be Mewtwo originally, but again, all will be in chapter twelve. I think all will be mentioned in that chapter... Also in chapter eleven, Legion does drop hints, but I'll let you read it first before I start saying stuff.

FormeEon: Lol, I wouldn't have guessed, honestly. Yes, I had to do some research, and it was very squicky research. *shudders* I go more for the anime than the manga or the games. I was going to touch on the games a little bit here, but whether-or-not it showed up is up to the reader. Blaine is more for the manga and games, while Dr. Fuji and Giovanni's for the anime. And since this is the anime universe, and that I'm more familiar with Dr. Fuji than Blaine, that's what I went for. And yes, this happened before she became depressed. I was going to have it where Mewtwo showed up and show the days he was there for (and that Mew did know he was there), but I liked how I ended the memory.

For a long time I had this belief that a Mew slowly suppresses abilities when pregnant so as not not unleash it while giving birth due to her being so powerful. Teleportation, even though it's a natural ability, is the first to go, as the baby is new and the body has of yet to connect with it. And by the time it does, she will have been unable to teleport herself around. Perhaps this is what happened with the Mew in the games, it was never stated what happened or how the progress went—if the Mew was a surrogate mother.

As for Bridget, I was going to make her as bad as the other scientists, but I feel more pity towards her, as she may have been one of the few good people left who was in the wrong place at the wrong (maybe right, because who knows what would have happened) time. She wanted what was best for Mew when the others wouldn't. Of course, she miscalculated with the berries... and Mew's bond with the baby. She died a tragic death, in my opinion. You are free to have your own, so interpret how you want.

Aslynn♥Pokemon:

No, she's not dead, Legion said she's half-and-half, so she's on her way. And Mew said herself in chapter ten that Mewtwo shouldn't believe everything Legion tells him, that he's trying to trick him. But demons are masters at it, and even the most well-informed can fall...

Yeah... pretty much ^_^;. Sorry, I said it wasn't going to be a happy chapter. But I promise you chapter thirteen will help balance all this out. I PROMISE.
 

iCakeify

Luxray Fanboy
Have'nt got time to read it now, but I promise I'll read it next week. Seems awsome.
 

Kutie Pie

"It is my destiny."
Have'nt got time to read it now, but I promise I'll read it next week. Seems awsome.

It's okay, take your time. And next time send these kinds of messages through PM so they won't be listed as spam, okay ^_^?
 

Encyclopika

The Queen
Finally got to finishing the story. X.x
I'm glad I had you change it to R, because this was very gruesome. However, I think you really villianized science, that most of it was more literary than realistic. It worked to portray a most terrible time in Mew's life, and a side of her that Mewtwo's never seen. However, as far as the real world, there are still ethical protocols that must be abided by, especially if they planned to make their "discoveries" public. Otherwise, it appears as if you did research on this topic and tried your best to see what cloning consists of.

All in all, the thought process and writing were amazing - you applied reasonable and expected reactions of Mew as a forced mother and a horrifying lab experiment.

Great work - keep it up! ^^
 

Qymaen

Petals and Leaves
I agree, Encyclopika. I especially loved the parts where Mew was consantly wrestling with herself over whether wanting this baby or not. Keep up the good work. :)
 

Kutie Pie

"It is my destiny."
Encyclopika: And a good thing, too. I probably should have figured it WAS going to be R at around this time, since I... decided to write out those gruesome things... because I'm very descriptive... o_O What the heck is wrong with me?

I did not mean to intentionally make science evil like that. Science is the reason I'm alive today, and that my brothers are the only twins in our family to have survived childbirth, and many, many other reasons that have blessed our life. HOWEVER. It all depends on how science is done. Many of our many, many medicines and other scientific discoveries came to be for the benefit of our world. But science has also been done for evil intentions as well (like AIDS and swine flu, to name a few--yes, I believe swine flu was man-made), and I'll be honest when I say cloning is an evil intention. I'm sure they mean well to learn more about the body and its functions, but if it means playing God, then that crosses the line. Mom always questions how it is the cloned animal (and I believe there are some "cloned" humans as well) has a soul.

I'm sure this very scene could work when technology advances far enough in the real world--maybe. I'm going to defend myself by saying this takes place in the future, a few centuries from the present-day Pokémon world. But otherwise, I honestly swear I did my research (to the point of mentally scarring myself), and maybe filled in some gaps with guesses I'm pretty sure may be close to if not accurate enough. I love science, I really do, and I will take it upon myself to learn these things. But... when it came to things like this... especially the medical science behind it... I don't know how people can stomach it.

As for ethical policies, this was the pre-apocalyptic Pokémon world where evil pretty much is a part of life, and even if people spoke out about it, there would be talk of it, but it may be held to the highest regard in the science field to actually successfully clone a Mew. It was hinted at that Fuji's cloning notes was leaked out, and thus they may have been put into textbooks, and so someone got the idea to go ahead and fund the project. Mewtwo had never lived, according to them, so to have a clone alive would be a big deal.

And besides, aren't there entries of cloning in our textbooks today? I'm sure the Christians and other religions/ethical policies weren't happy about it being taught to our children, but it's been published and accepted as a breakthrough.

And that's my defense/reasoning for it. I agree with you, 'Pika, but this was what was going through my head at the time. (And I guess Dad was right. I AM too literal for my own good xD.) Thanks for reviewing!

Qymaen: Thank you! I actually enjoyed that part, honestly. Originally, I was going to have it where Mewtwo watched the slow changes that were going on within Mew, and so as the months went by, she went from cursing and hating the child inside her to feeling the motherly instincts kick in, to finding herself loving this unknown child, all while questioning God as to why it had to be her. (All through her eyes, of course. Again, I was going to have it where he was "projected" into the memory and watched everything happen around and not through what Mew saw. But I wanted him to feel the pain as well, and it would make more sense if he saw it the way she did.)

It was also done to test her faith. At the end of chapter six, Mew mentioned she once believed in God, but during her time at the lab, she began questioning where He was, at why He wasn't helping her despite all her prayers. And when she miscarried, all that love she was developing for it was ripped right out of her before she killed the scientists. Her last question to God was "Why have you forsaken me", and she gave up. She had nothing left to live for.

I'm pretty sure this is what all mothers go through when they experience a miscarriage. I remember that my mom had one (because of X-ray exposure when my brother went to get an X-ray), but shortly after that, she got pregnant again. This is most likely because we're very religious people, we put our trust in God in many of our trials, so Mom may not have been as affected as much. But I know that it varies between women as to how they react to a miscarriage.

So to have Mew be impregnated, start to doubt whether God was in her life or not, then lose the baby when she was developing a connection and thus causing her to lose her faith in everything... and Encyclopika hit it on the head. No need for me to continue explaining :).

Thanks for the review!
 
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Midnightmoon6o2

"Tougher than you."
Ahhh late as alwaysss. shii....

Anyway this chapter had the words WOW all over it. like just WOW. i can't explain it. chp 10 and 11 were filled with such emotion that somehow i was touched. and i don't read pokemon fics at all. except yours. Your research is very well done, some that i didn't know until i read your fic. The descrition is fantastically written. at some parts i thought. this is a M rated fic? lol, needs to be R with all the yummy nutierous grumsome parts. lol.

I eveny your talent in writing. its funny at fist only me and Pika reviewed this fic and now that number is doubled. Well done.

Also can i ask, how long do you take to write one chapter? i take at least two hours max for eleven pages and wondering if thats normal to write eleven pages in one sitting. just a thought.

I wish i can write like you somehow and sorry if im replying late. sorry.

PS: I'm not eating healthy cookies. their bad for my health. rofl.
 
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Kutie Pie

"It is my destiny."
Lol, you haven't been late at all, midnight x3.

I honestly have no idea there were going to be gruesome parts, I just wrote down whatever my fingers and brain wanted. And I suppose they wanted that description XD.

It is funny, ain't it? Guess it's because I advertised went around on the forums. Unless you two went around telling people, lol.

As for your question... I'm not sure o_o. I don't monitor myself. Last night I only wrote about two pages in about two hours. Because most of the time I was... day-dreaming... Yeah, sometimes my own mind wanders while writing, but mostly I'm just trying to recite the scene in my head of how I want it to go, and sometimes the connection between the brain and fingers shorts out, so I just sit there staring into space. (Maybe I should video-tape myself just to see how stupid I would look.) But it all depends on brain fuel, inspiration, and time. If I have enough time that day, I will write out half if not all of a chapter in one sitting. Bonus points if fitting music is playing in the background. Instrumental music (mainly piano and violins) really cranks it out, it just gets me into the mood quickly and smoothly.

Just keep practicing, midnight ^_^. Here's a tidbit: if possible, try to have weekly composition assignments whether from your teacher or just by having someone else tell you to. Trust me, the more you write out five-paragraph compositions, the more creative juice you create, the broader your vocabulary becomes, and thus the more need to make a story longer. It really, really works wonders. Did it for two years straight (it pretty much was for two years straight, I had a really great English teacher in middle school).

I need to get around to actually reading your story, but I have skimmed through it and liked what I was seeing. You have the talent, you just need to keep at it, don't give up. Took a look at your FanFiction account (you have more stories posted than me, but you were on before I joined XD), and it's very noticeable how much you've improved since 2008. Trust me.

And everyone has their own unique style. It's what identifies you and only you ^_^.

(It was an accidental healthy cookie, I swear XD. I didn't realize bugs had gotten into the cookie dough when I wasn't looking until after I gave you the cookie.)
 

Midnightmoon6o2

"Tougher than you."
Lol, you haven't been late at all, midnight x3.

I honestly have no idea there were going to be gruesome parts, I just wrote down whatever my fingers and brain wanted. And I suppose they wanted that description XD.

It is funny, ain't it? Guess it's because I advertised went around on the forums. Unless you two went around telling people, lol.

As for your question... I'm not sure o_o. I don't monitor myself. Last night I only wrote about two pages in about two hours. Because most of the time I was... day-dreaming... Yeah, sometimes my own mind wanders while writing, but mostly I'm just trying to recite the scene in my head of how I want it to go, and sometimes the connection between the brain and fingers shorts out, so I just sit there staring into space. (Maybe I should video-tape myself just to see how stupid I would look.) But it all depends on brain fuel, inspiration, and time. If I have enough time that day, I will write out half if not all of a chapter in one sitting. Bonus points if fitting music is playing in the background. Instrumental music (mainly piano and violins) really cranks it out, it just gets me into the mood quickly and smoothly.

Haha, i see. i tend to dream my ideas when i get to bed. so i can actually fall asleep. hehe. but thats very interesting.

Just keep practicing, midnight ^_^. Here's a tidbit: if possible, try to have weekly composition assignments whether from your teacher or just by having someone else tell you to. Trust me, the more you write out five-paragraph compositions, the more creative juice you create, the broader your vocabulary becomes, and thus the more need to make a story longer. It really, really works wonders. Did it for two years straight (it pretty much was for two years straight, I had a really great English teacher in middle school).

My English teacher is evil. i don't trust her. she would get spam s... all over my work. she trumatises young childern like me. I had never seen English that same again. lol.

I need to get around to actually reading your story, but I have skimmed through it and liked what I was seeing. You have the talent, you just need to keep at it, don't give up. Took a look at your FanFiction account (you have more stories posted than me, but you were on before I joined XD), and it's very noticeable how much you've improved since 2008. Trust me.

And everyone has their own unique style. It's what identifies you and only you ^_^.

(It was an accidental healthy cookie, I swear XD. I didn't realize bugs had gotten into the cookie dough when I wasn't looking until after I gave you the cookie.)

Well yeah, i have improved since 08 and if i didn't get any critism reviews i would probably keep writing that way.

Yeah, you got a point. =)

BUGGGSSSS??? Thats not a healthy cookie now is it? lol. tsk tsk, you seem to have a dirty kitchen if bugs went into the dough when you weren't looking. rofl.
 

iCakeify

Luxray Fanboy
The last chapter...

Well, I did'nt really like it. First of all, it did'nt really feel like it changed the whole story in this fanfic so much except for Mewtwo's mind, then it was kinda disgusting. The last of the negs is that I'm not sure if Tyson is alive or not... He seemed like a good person, so I hope he was on a lunch break.

But, good whritten as always.
 

Kutie Pie

"It is my destiny."
iCakeify: It's okay if you didn't like it. I don't know how it was supposed to change the story, but it was to help explain why Mew was the way she was at the beginning of the story. And I guess to break Mewtwo... since he didn't know what had happened to her. As for Tyson, no, the entire lab was destroyed, and she may not have recognized Tyson during her rage. It's been implied he may have been tortured to death. He may have looked like a good person, but for all we know, he showed interest in the project, especially when he mentioned Dr. Fuji's project. So he could have been as bad as the other scientists, I never really did touch on his character except to just give him a name and maybe make him look like a disliked colleague. (Lol, lunch break. Sorry, had to giggle at that.) Thanks for reviewing, sorry you didn't like it.

Haha, i see. i tend to dream my ideas when i get to bed. so i can actually fall asleep. hehe. but thats very interesting.

That only happened to me once, and I'm planning on turning it into a book one of these days. Otherwise, I just get weird dreams. They've been getting messed up lately, though o_O.

My English teacher is evil. i don't trust her. she would get spam s... all over my work. she trumatises young childern like me. I had never seen English that same again. lol.

...wow... reminds me of my temporary fourth grade teacher. Only I think she (the hag of a teacher we had) was worse.

I got around to reading The Dark, The Light, just to chapter four for the moment. And I gotta say, it may be slow, but it's building up to something. But I can't give a complete review until after I catch up.

BUGGGSSSS??? Thats not a healthy cookie now is it? lol. tsk tsk, you seem to have a dirty kitchen if bugs went into the dough when you weren't looking. rofl.

No, the kitchen's not dirty, it was just... well... *looks around* CAAAAAAAT! *throws a cat at you*
 
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Encyclopika

The Queen
I guess that's where we differ. :p I'm not religious, don't believe in souls and such. Cloning and engineering DNA is being primarily done for medical reasons, as well as production. If we could clone, say, corn, in the lab, to grow more quickly or have traits that allow it to survive in many different regions, we could end world hunger. It's a long shot, but the science of cloning has it's good intentions. I'm a biology student, so it fascinates me that every living thing on Earth follows the same genetic code (humans, cats, bacteria, etc.)...and recombinations of the code or trading of that code between species makes for some mind-blowing experiments.
In the real world, the treatment of animals as experiments is much better today than it was a while ago. It is mandatory, from what I've been taught, to have a vet on board should something go wrong, as well as to follow very strict ethical rules. As far as studying the insides and how they work, dissections are usually done on already-dead specimens. Live specimens are usually used to study behavior, psychology, etc. Of course, there will always be those that don't follow the rules (like some of these soap and makeup companies >> ), and your story just shows an example of that. The scientists in your story were rushing and being rash, they really weren't thinking anything through. XD But you're right - it did fit with your apocalyptic, evil world.

I'm sure the Christians and other religions/ethical policies weren't happy about it being taught to our children, but it's been published and accepted as a breakthrough.
Separation of church and state/education. Thing is, religion is taught as well in history. Children are taught in school about the facts...and cloning happened, just like religion happened and has been shaping the human race for eons. I don't really remember being taught about cloning in gradeschool, though. It wasn't until college that I got fully submerged in it (literally, by homework for lab...that's all it's about. Really boring too XD)

I don't mean to start a debate, though. XD Now that you mentioned it, as said, you're right - what you wrote is accurate to what your world in your story was like, which is more important that being accurate to this world. XD;
 
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Kutie Pie

"It is my destiny."
I guess that's where we differ. :p I'm not religious, don't believe in souls and such. Cloning and engineering DNA is being primarily done for medical reasons, as well as production. If we could clone, say, corn, in the lab, to grow more quickly or have traits that allow it to survive in many different regions, we could end world hunger. It's a long shot, but the science of cloning has it's good intentions.

I'm sure it did in the beginning, things always start off good, and to clone food to help end world hunger is a good idea. But as time goes on, that's when corruption begins to creep in, and then things stop working well, which is why world hunger still exists, and will for a very long time. It's the sad, sad truth, and unfortunately the bad reputations are what's remembered of the most when there gets to be so much of it. And this is why I am very, very cautious about stem cell research (because it's around the same vein as cloning if I remember correctly off the top of my head). They mean well to cure illnesses, but when it comes to embryonic stem cell, then that's where everything gets messy.

In the real world, the treatment of animals as experiments is much better today than it was a while ago. It is mandatory, from what I've been taught, to have a vet on board should something go wrong, as well as to follow very strict ethical rules. As far as studying the insides and how they work, dissections are usually done on already-dead specimens. Live specimens are usually used to study behavior, psychology, etc. Of course, there will always be those that don't follow the rules (like some of these soap and makeup companies >> ), and your story just shows an example of that. The scientists in your story were rushing and being rash, they really weren't thinking anything through. XD But you're right - it did fit with your apocalyptic, evil world.

Oh gosh, I just had to be reminded of that disgusting pathos commercial that PETA did, and I hate PETA >_<;. I love animals, I really do, but I'm not like these people, so I don't go around preaching "save the whales" and all that. It's animal testing or just lab experiments (and dissections) that have helped in scientific breakthroughs, as well as learning about the body. I do feel sad for these animals, but I look at it as a way to help benefit the world and make it a better place. If done right, of course.

Separation of church and state/education. Thing is, religion is taught as well in history. Children are taught in school about the facts...and cloning happened, just like religion happened and has been shaping the human race for eons. I don't really remember being taught about cloning in gradeschool, though. It wasn't until college that I got fully submerged in it

Ehh, the facts not really. We touch on it, but schools mainly just leave it alone. Except for the Catholic schools probably, lol. But personally, I'm not happy with the whole separation of church and state. It's not that I would be comfortable having other adults teaching my children about religious faith, but it would at least give off a more peaceful atmosphere to at least have a small prayer or moment of silence. But people had to go "baaaw" over it, and thus that's why we don't pray at school anymore. In fact, I have the feeling less schools are having the Pledge of Allegiance. I noticed that in high school, we weren't having it as often as we should have. And that colleges don't even have the flag in classrooms... it's very sad.

But yeah, about being taught cloning, it was more or less mentioned, but I do recall it in the textbooks, just in the back with the present day entries. The Life Science textbooks most likely have it.

I don't mean to start a debate, though. XD Now that you mentioned it, as said, you're right - what you wrote is accurate to what your world in your story was like, which is more important that being accurate to this world. XD;

Lol, it's okay. I like a good debate every once in a while, and I haven't had one in quite some time. It's always interesting to hear what the other side has to say, as long as no one is yelling at the other and putting each other down.
 

Midnightmoon6o2

"Tougher than you."
I got around to reading The Dark, The Light, just to chapter four for the moment. And I gotta say, it may be slow, but it's building up to something. But I can't give a complete review until after I catch up.



No, the kitchen's not dirty, it was just... well... *looks around* CAAAAAAAT! *throws a cat at you*

Well i didn't expect you to read it straight away but take your time. there's no rush.

*catches the cat with my awsomeness catching skills* aww, a cute thing like this put bugs in cookie dough? you should look after your pets more often. lol.

Oh yes i forgot to say in the original review of mine for chp 10 and 11 is that what you did to Mew was Pokemon Abuse. lol. it was just so sad, Mes loses her kid and goes insane. i love the statement in chp11 where the docs say we can always make a new baby for Mew but Mew yells she wants her baby and not another one. sad sad. =(

And when Mewtwo said about he touched Mew i just went o.o. is it really what i think it means?
 

Kutie Pie

"It is my destiny."
Can I have my Ebeneezer back :3? lol

Oh yes i forgot to say in the original review of mine for chp 10 and 11 is that what you did to Mew was Pokemon Abuse. lol. it was just so sad, Mes loses her kid and goes insane. i love the statement in chp11 where the docs say we can always make a new baby for Mew but Mew yells she wants her baby and not another one. sad sad. =(

I had The Birth of Mewtwo CD Drama in mind by that time. In it, Amber dies, leaving little Mewtwo alone. He overhears Dr. Fuji that they could always clone his daughter again, and he goes into a rage because there was only one Amber who had talked to him. Which is the reason why they sedated him, his brainwaves were going out of control, and it was possible he could have destroyed himself. They only had tips of the eyelash fossil left, so they couldn't afford to lose him.

So to parallel the CD Drama with this chapter, and to back up Legion's statement that she was no different than him, the scientists know they could always get more eggs from her, have them be fertilized, and get her pregnant as many times as needed. Because she developed a relationship with the unborn child, and had been looking forward to raising it as her own, she went into a rage herself. Whereas Mewtwo's rage against the scientists was more because he was confused and (if you want to go with the dub) learned he was nothing more than an experiment. So in a way, Mew had it harder than him.

And when Mewtwo said about he touched Mew i just went o.o. is it really what i think it means?

^_^; Uh... no... I swear. I just meant that he was able to hold her, you know? It's like saying I reached across the screen to feel your arm so I'd know you were real (lol, don't worry, I know you are xD). That's what he meant. I didn't catch that in time... the part where he says he was "intimate" is more appropriate for that part, but even then...

*slaps myself* WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME?!?
 
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Dementuo

come at meh bro
This fan-fic is the best I've ever seen.
Chapters 1-10: YESSSSS! Sheer win in every word.
But the only problem I'd ever have is with chapter 11...
I read it, and thought of myself "wat. Wat. WAT?"
O_O
They did WHAT to Mew?
 

Kutie Pie

"It is my destiny."
But the only problem I'd ever have is with chapter 11...
I read it, and thought of myself "wat. Wat. WAT?"
O_O
They did WHAT to Mew?

Ahh, you still can't believe what happened to her, right? It was a cloning attempt. They did it with her fur at first, taking the DNA from the strands and tampering it with the DNA of an embryo, thus mutating it. Well, it wasn't going so well, and it resulted in rather disturbing outcomes. "Plan B" was for her to be a surrogate mother. There are ways to make someone pregnant artificially. Or course, because they were unsure of when her ovulation period began, they had to do this manually, and that meant taking one (or two by some sheer luck) of her eggs directly out of an ovary. In a way, this was artificial insemination as they forced the egg to fertilize. It had barely begun dividing its cells when they inserted it into her through the same way they took her eggs. That was one mistake.

They made sure she was healthy the entire pregnancy, but they really could care less about her, with exception of possibly Bridget. ("Sir" said himself they could just impregnate her again, just as long as she was kept alive and well.) But she was poisoning the baby even though it was possible that the baby was going to die anyway because of the forced fertilization. A sperm needs to "match" or "connect" with the egg before fertilization happens, and they didn't wait for that. So the baby may have had more or less chromosomes, which would have resulted in death or Down's Syndrome (which would lead to death anyway, as they would have disposed of it). So either way, it was a loss-loss for Mew and the scientists. Of course, Mew didn't get that, all she knew was she was going to be a mother, and though she never wanted this baby, her belief was if she was meant to have it, then she will love it like a mother should. Thus the bittersweet relationship, and why she went berserk. (You can partially also blame the hormones for this.)

Was that what you were looking for ^_^;? Your comment was rather disoriented, so all I got from it was that you were still confused about it all.

Either way, thanks for the review! Want me to put you on the PM list?
 

Dementuo

come at meh bro
That was, more or less, the clarification I was looking for.
Now I know they didn't actually *shot*

I can finally look at Mew normally again!

And YES. Please, put me on the PM list.
To be honest, this fan-fix is the reason I joined.
 

Dementuo

come at meh bro
Yeah, I'll be hoppin' around a bit for now.
It was really that... "Something foreign inside Mew" part that threw me off... And nearly scarred me for life. O_ō

Also, I got a couple laughs from the apparently hormonally-insane Latios. Nice touch, there, and lolincestcomment.
 
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