Spiteful Murkrow
Early Game Encounter
Hey, so I wound up blazing ahead to the end of the story a while back. But in the interest of keeping a good thing going (however belatedly), I'm going to be covering 3 chapters in this review again. Namely 8-10.
This is why you don't antagonize shapeshifters, Nate.
I have to wonder how much Nate would hate the Child for prancing around in a doppelganger body wearing gaudy children's clothing.
Mm-mmm, Kanto Fried Torchic... Unless some other fast food gets served out in buckets out there. You have to wonder what repeatedly eating that stuff does to a Pokémon's health though.
Should've listened to that little mental skeptic, Nate.
So what Pokémon's cry is the Child borrowing for this moment anyways? While it's obvious that things don't quite get 'Raticate Raticate' in this setting, I have to wonder...
I think this explains why Pokémon Centers are in business. Why lug around a car battery when you have convenient power outlets to mooch off of. I have to wonder how the child's never spilled that thing before, though.
I'm waiting for that moment when the Child angrily chucks a vending machine at someone later on in the story.
Aw, but the Child could've made a momento out of it! Just think of all the things you can do with two halves of a metal-and-plastic softball!
You sure get a lot of mileage out of abusing poor Nate, even if it's for snerk-worthy moments like this.
Well that's one way to rain on someone's parade.
Well that's promis-
Oh.
I see that battling's not as straightforward as children's cartoons make them out to be.
Well that turned out to be quite the slugfest, but it was certainly a nice finisher there.
How long do those tubs last before the ice cream just becomes 'cream' thanks to being around Titan, anyways?
Does this mean that there are drug rings that illicitly traffic Togetic dust?
I see they don't teach negotiation skills at Team Rocket.
This cannot possibly end well.
Oh that is evil.
Again, evil. Though I have to wonder how Titan is so willing to do this to one of his teammates on behalf of a stranger.
Does 'attack the trainer' also count as being in the school of 'I win' attacks? Because Nate's treading some dangerous territory here what with the shapeshifting kid that can pulp metal cans.
Oops, that disguise is slipping.
I find it eerie that aside from the topic being 'murdering a person', this sounds exactly like an 8-year old's tantrum.
Oh, this is going to be good. And that helped to narrow down how the Child has its powers when I got to this part.
Top-notch work as usual, and can't wait to see where you wind up taking things out at the Indigo Plateau... I'll just have to speed up the rest of these reviews in between a bit. ^^;
"What? Can't you just magic it better? You know, like... woooo..." He waves a hand vaguely, then sinks into another painful laughing fit.
"Are you brain damaged?" you ask while he's trying to recover. Perhaps your healing abilities had side effects. How on Earth are you supposed to deal with this?
"No, no," he chokes. "I'm just getting told off by some ******* mutant thing that looks like me and claims it saved my life so it can take the ****ing League challenge and become a pokémon master. It's all just so ****ing sane, I can't take it anymore!" You clench your hands into fists as he gags on his own mirth.
"Shut up! Shut up, shut up," you snarl, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and hauling him upright. Scales spread down your arm and claws slide from your fingers, shredding the fabric. That, at least, is enough to shut the human up. His grin vanishes as he stares down at your sudden talons.
"What... What the ****?" He struggles against your grip, and you shove him away, letting him stumble to a shaky halt.
This is why you don't antagonize shapeshifters, Nate.
Oh, right. You forgot about humans and their taboo against nudity--you don't usually bother with clothes yourself. You like dressing up, though, especially in bright colors, or clothes with your favorite cartoon characters on them. Unfortunately, this morning's shopping trip failed to turn up any Transformozords shirts in the great Nathaniel Morgan's size.
I have to wonder how much Nate would hate the Child for prancing around in a doppelganger body wearing gaudy children's clothing.
"Thanks, Titan," you say. "Here. I brought you some food."
The charizard fidgets while you rearrange your burdens, tail sweeping back and forth in agitated little arcs. He snatches the bucket from your grasp as soon as you hold it out and rips the top off with his teeth, then sticks his whole head inside, gobbling and crunching with such reckless enthusiasm that you have to smile.
Mm-mmm, Kanto Fried Torchic... Unless some other fast food gets served out in buckets out there. You have to wonder what repeatedly eating that stuff does to a Pokémon's health though.
"Are you ****ing kidding me? Shake hands with that thing? I don't even want to go near all those ****ing tentacles."
"His name is War," you snap as the tentacruel's eyes narrow. "And yes. You will shake hands. It is polite."
The great Nathaniel Morgan stares at you, then at the tentacruel, the forest of tentacles still upraised. "Oh, fine," he snarls. "****ing fine. I guess I should just give in now and accept that you're ****ing insane."
He steps forward and reaches out, gingerly taking one of War's tentacles by the bulb and moving it ever so slightly up and down. "There's your ****ing handsh--aagh! ****!"
Should've listened to that little mental skeptic, Nate.
You turn and find the great Nathaniel Morgan tensed to run, eyes wide in the starlight. After a moment you realize you've slipped into talking pokémon, and he hasn't been able to understand a word. "I was making introductions. These are my pokémon. Rats. Thunderstorm. You already met Titan. Togetic. Duskull." You indicate each in turn. "And War too, of course."
He barely glances at them. "Yeah, hi." And turns back to you. "What the **** was that?"
"What?"
"Those... Those ****ing noises you were making. I thought you were having some kind of ****ing fit."
So what Pokémon's cry is the Child borrowing for this moment anyways? While it's obvious that things don't quite get 'Raticate Raticate' in this setting, I have to wonder...
"Wait. You had a mother****ing car battery in your bag this entire time?"
"Obviously," you say as you clip the black contact to one of the magneton's magnets, the red to another. The magneton lets out a contented buzz as current starts to flow.
"That thing must weigh like thirty ****ing pounds! How the hell were you lugging it around all day?"
"It is not really so heavy." You need some food for yourself and Rats. And the great Nathaniel Morgan too, you suppose. He's even more obnoxious when unfed. Soup?
I think this explains why Pokémon Centers are in business. Why lug around a car battery when you have convenient power outlets to mooch off of. I have to wonder how the child's never spilled that thing before, though.
The great Nathaniel Morgan tilts his head and bares his teeth in a ragged, hole-riddled mockery of a smile. "Yeah. You know what? I think I'd be more pissed if you had up and snagged them. At least this way they're probably not going to get stuck with a murderous psycho piece of **** like you."
"I am a good trainer!" Does he want you to kill him? You could, you really could. You can feel the muscles shifting under your skin, bones thickening, talons threatening. How dare he? How could he even suggest? Your words come out husky and strained. "You are a member of Team Rocket. You are not a good person. I am."
"Ooh, nice comeback, jackass. That'll ****ing show me."
"You are not listening. I am a good trainer. Me! Your opinion does not matter. You are a worthless, stupid Rocket!"
You're shaking, you notice distantly. Rats' voice comes to you, far-off and small. "Uh, Boss... maybe you oughta, you know, kinda calm down?"
The Rocket sneers at you. "Yeah, go on and say it a little ****ing louder. I didn't quite hear you the first eight thousand ****ing times."
"Shut up! Shut up!" The soup can in your hand explodes, and you stop in shock as cold, slimy broth drips down your wrist and drizzles onto the rocks. Then you shake the can off, extricating your fingers from the holes they punched through the metal, and leave it lying there in an expanding puddle
I'm waiting for that moment when the Child angrily chucks a vending machine at someone later on in the story.
Pokéballs, even cheap models like this, are built to last--but not against something like you. You seize the top of the ball in one hand and the bottom in the other and pull until the hinge gives way, then stab steel-reinforced claws through the protective shield inside each half, stirring metal and glass into a shredded tangle. Then you trap the remains between your palms, knit your fingers tight, and incinerate them with a sudden burst of heat. One of Thunderstorm's eyes spins around to watch the slaggy lump sail into the wastebasket, but it makes no comment, and when you hold the new pokéball out to it, it doesn't hesitate to bump one of its magnets against the button, disappearing in a flash of red light.
Aw, but the Child could've made a momento out of it! Just think of all the things you can do with two halves of a metal-and-plastic softball!
"Are you telling me that you've been ****ing using my money to buy ****?"
"I was. Until it ran out."
"It--you--" You watch with interest as his face reddens, he clutches helplessly at the air. Finally he manages to choke out, "You spent all my ****ing dough? All of it? And now you have the ****ing nerve to ask why I didn't have more for you to steal?"
"It was not stealing."
"Like hell it wasn't stealing! That's what you ****ing call it when you take somebody else's money without asking!" He actually stands up, hands clenching into fists, and you take a step forward, making yourself just the tiniest bit taller as you do. "Where the **** do you get off?" he snarls. "Why the **** would you--?"
"It was ill-gotten, was it not?" It takes him a second to register what you said. He frowns and leans back a bit, staring at you in confusion. "The money. You got it as the result of some illegal activity, am I right?"
"You--what? What the **** does--well, yeah, but--"
"So you stole the money from somebody else in the first place. Stealing is bad, so you should not have been allowed to keep it at all. The right thing to do would be to give it back to whoever you took it from, but I do not know who they are and have no way to find them even if I did. But at the least you should not be allowed to benefit from it, so I used it instead. It was the right thing to do."
"What? What the **** are you even talking about? That's the most ****ing--"
You sure get a lot of mileage out of abusing poor Nate, even if it's for snerk-worthy moments like this.
You should be celebrating. You have the lead, after all. To win, you just need to hold it. But you'd expected War to carry you all the way through the battle without a hitch, and he's barely upright, sagging and bruised. You will win, of course. Your pokémon are the best, and you're the best, and that's just simple facts, but this is turning out more difficult than you'd expected.
"Arcanine, start with wild charge."
"Hydro pump," you say reflexively. There's no time to wonder if you should have made a different move; the arcanine is already charging forward, splashing heedlessly through puddles as sparks dance and crackle in his thick fur. War's moving, too, raising his heavy bell and aligning himself with his opponent.
The hydro pump is a direct hit--but the arcanine charges right through as though it weren't there, slamming into War and toppling him over in a twitching heap.
The tentacruel tries to pull himself upright again, slapping at the floor with spasming tentacles, but after a few seconds he falls back, exhausted, and lies like a deflated balloon. The referee declares him out of the fight.
Well that's one way to rain on someone's parade.
The arcanine is too fast. It's too fast and Rats can't even hit it without getting close. She's going to get tired of dodging before the arcanine runs out of fire. If she can't hit, she can't win, and if she doesn't win then all the rest is up to Titan. Titan is strong, but--no, you have to win. You aren't going to lose. Master trainers don't lose.
"A little help here, Boss?" Rats rolls away from another burst of fire, but her movements are pained, her skin mottled red and white in patches of burnt-off fur. The twang of panic in her voice sets your heart racing, your fingers clenching. You open your mouth but can say nothing because the only words in your head are What if I can't win?
But wait. Wait, this is stupid. You close your eyes half a second, make a change you can't feel. When you open them again there is nothing but a raticate and an arcanine on the field in front of you, fighting. You look and struggle for a moment to remember, and then the way is obvious.
"Rats, use sucker punch." She's coming up out of another roll, and the moment her back paws hit the floor she's gone, no more than a flash of shadow as she tears across the arena.
Well that's promis-
You shake it off after a couple seconds. Whatever the gym leader's feeling, you don't care. "Super fang."
The air around the arcanine starts to ripple and wiggle with heat, but Rats just closes her eyes and holds on tight. Her own fangs start to glow, red then yellow then white, and then she bites down harder. The arcanine squeals and rolls over again, kicking madly at the raticate. Rats is yelling as she chews, scissoring her teeth deeper and deeper into the arcanine's flesh even as the fire type starts glowing himself, like an igniting star.
And then, suddenly, it's over. Rats tumbles free, screeching breathlessly with pain, and the arcanine curls in over his gushing wound, spitting fire blindly. Rats' fur is alight, up in flames just from contact with the blazing arcanine, but somehow she still feels his attacks, still tries to crawl away from them.
She can't. She collapses. The arena is loud with the arcanine's strangled panting.
Oh.
It's only when the charizard comes shooting down again, diving straight at the ground, that Blaine gives his command. "Magmar, use thunder punch."
Without your enhanced vision, it would have been too quick for you to see. Magmar wrenches her tail around, shoving it in Titan's face. The charizard jerks his head away, closing his eyes, and the clean line of his dive is broken. In his moment of surprise Magmar manages to get an arm free, then lands a thunder punch square in the charizard's stomach.
Titan lets go completely now, twisting in pain, and the magmar shoves her way free of him. She rolls as she lands and comes up in a crouch while Titan crashes to the ground behind her in a mess of flailing limbs. The applause is now much, much louder.
"Fan of Red, eh?" Blaine asks while Magmar straightens up. "Ever since he came through here I can't tell you how many people've tried to pull that stunt on us. Better luck next time! Magmar, confuse ray!"
I see that battling's not as straightforward as children's cartoons make them out to be.
Magmar rises to her knees and braces herself, head lowered, arms raised, letting another fire blast break against her and dissipate. Then she's up and running, rushing straight into another unfolding fire blast. She skirts around it at the last second, keeps coming.
"Stop her, Titan. Dragon rage." The magmar's close now, one fist alive with lightning, and she takes the burst of dragon-fire right in the face. She stops only a moment, shaking her head, but Titan is following in the dragon rage's wake and snatches her in his jaws. He lifts Magmar straight off the floor and shakes her, then throws her to the ground and goes at her with his claws. Then the magmar glows red, brilliant laser-red, and is gone. It's over.
Well that turned out to be quite the slugfest, but it was certainly a nice finisher there.
You toss Titan another tub of ice cream. He eagerly pries the top off and starts licking at the dessert within.
How long do those tubs last before the ice cream just becomes 'cream' thanks to being around Titan, anyways?
"Oh, well that explains it," the great Nathaniel Morgan growls, slightly muffled through his shirt. "No wonder you're acting like a ****ing moron over there, it's because you're literally high." Once Togetic's lost interest and floated away again, he pulls his shirt back down and wipes his nose on his sleeve. "Anyway. Like I was saying. You think you can beat me in a battle? Fat ****ing chance. I ain't no champion, but at least I don't suck."
Does this mean that there are drug rings that illicitly traffic Togetic dust?
"Easy." He smirks as laughter overtakes you again. "Tell you what, let's make a bet out of it, huh? Some jackass took all my ****ing cash, you might have heard, so why don't we say this: if you beat me, I'll be quiet the whole rest of this ****ing stupid trip."
"You won't say anything?"
"Not one single ****ing word. Sound good?"
Sounds suspicious. "And what do you get if you win?"
"You get off my *** and let me do what I want instead of being glued to your hip twenty-four-****ing-seven."
"No."
He rolls his eyes. "One day of freedom, then."
"No."
"Come the **** on! I ain't gonna win anyway, remember? What the ****'re you afraid of?" You feign disinterest, picking up handfuls of sand and squeezing until the grains slip between your fingers. Finally the great Nathaniel Morgan makes a frustrated noise. "Come on! One ****ing hour!"
You turn back to him and say, "Half an hour."
He growls to himself as he thinks, staring off into space. "Oh, **** me. Fine! Half an hour. We battle, and if you win, I shut the **** up, and if I win, you let me out of your sight for half an hour. Deal?"
I see they don't teach negotiation skills at Team Rocket.
"Come on, Thunder. He's a Rocket. Everybody knows they suck." You cross your arms over your chest and frown, still watching the distant pantomime. "And he's stupid even for one of them."
This cannot possibly end well.
Titan lunges, claws at the ready, but Rats spins away, protecting her face.
It's not what Titan's aiming for. He reaches with his jaws, clamping down on Rats' tail as it comes whipping into view. Then he rears upright, dragging the raticate backwards and into the air.
Both of you are too startled to react until it's too late. Rats' front paws scrabble across the ground for a moment, and then she's hanging upside-down in midair, clutching at nothing.
Oh that is evil.
"Rats." You still don't really understand how this happened. "Get out of there! Try--quick attack? Sucker punch. Something!"
"I swear, you stupid lizard, you're going to pay for--nrrrrrgh!" Rats transforms into a crazy ball of paddling limbs, twisting gently back and forth in the air but making no progress towards freeing herself. You can see the muscles in Titan's neck straining to keep his head held out at such a strange angle, but he doesn't look tired.
"Good. Now go for the whiskers," the great Nathaniel Morgan says, and Titan brings his tail around and lines it up carefully under Rats. Then he starts to move it up, closer and closer to his helpless opponent. Rats, hanging in quiet exhaustion, sees it coming, her eyes widening.
"No--you--no! No no no nononononononononono!" The raticate throws herself into another fit of desperate struggling, to no avail. Titan's grip stays firm, and the flame keeps moving closer. In another couple seconds it's going to reach Rats' face.
Again, evil. Though I have to wonder how Titan is so willing to do this to one of his teammates on behalf of a stranger.
"That was not an actual attack! You cannot do that!"
"Not an actual attack? What, you've never heard of 'I win' attack? It's like feint attack except it's super effective against total dickheads."
Does 'attack the trainer' also count as being in the school of 'I win' attacks? Because Nate's treading some dangerous territory here what with the shapeshifting kid that can pulp metal cans.
"I said shut up! Do not talk about him like that. I do not even care who is watching, I will--" realize with sudden cold certainty that the room has gone quiet and every single eye is on you. Find yourself standing up with your fist drawn back as if preparing to drive it through the great Nathaniel Morgan's smug, ugly face. Discover that your hand hurts for some reason.
You open your fist, and your spoon clatters unevenly to the table. It's just a useless mess of metal now, bent and twisted back on itself from the force of your grip. After a moment of surprise, you realize that now everyone is staring at the spoon instead of you. You shuffle it hastily onto your tray under a litter of used napkins, then sit back down again and try to act like nothing's happened.
Oops, that disguise is slipping.
"Absol, where have you been?" You run your fingers through her ruff, trying to calm down. "This stupid human is ruining everything. He's slow, and he always complains, and he said mean things about Titan and Rats, and about me, and we had a battle and he cheated so he won, and I hate him. Why do you keep protecting him?"
Absol's red eyes show no sign of emotion. "What makes you think I am protecting him?"
"Why can't I just kill him? Absol, he should have died in the first place. He deserves it. He's horrible."
I find it eerie that aside from the topic being 'murdering a person', this sounds exactly like an 8-year old's tantrum.
"She does not care about that, no," you say with a hint of reproach. Absol snorts. "She wants me to go to the plateau so I can talk with my brother. I need his help."
"What the ****? You have a brother? There's more of you shits?" The great Nathaniel Morgan rubs at his face as if abruptly tired. "Oh dear God."
You frown at him, then watch as Absol leaps down from the bed and stretches. She ranges around the room, sniffing at corners, peering into the A/C unit. The great Nathaniel Morgan says, "So why the shitty badge quest, then? Just go to the ****ing plateau and leave me the **** out of it."
You don't need to be hearing this from him, too. "I need to be able to get close to the Champion. Only people fighting in the tournament are allowed in that part of the plateau."
"So, wait, the champion... Wait, the ****? You're saying the champion is your brother?" He gives you a calculating look. "I thought Red was a ****ing only child. Not that I can't see why they'd want to keep you quiet."
"Do not be stupid. Of course my brother is not the Champion." Absol grows bored of wandering and jumps back up on the bed, stretching out across its full width. "My brother is Mewtwo."
Oh, this is going to be good. And that helped to narrow down how the Child has its powers when I got to this part.
Top-notch work as usual, and can't wait to see where you wind up taking things out at the Indigo Plateau... I'll just have to speed up the rest of these reviews in between a bit. ^^;